Unfaithful
by w.o Yu i Die
Summary: Love is falling apart as Roger & Mimi's relationship is challenged, Mark is faced with his lonlieness, Maureen & Joanne learn to love, & Collins & Angel are haunted with their pasts. They need to ask if the lovers are true or are they unfaithful?
1. Together Forever?

I am back! That is right, I didn't update all summer. I devoted my extra time to reading FanFiction and writing some really great stories. I have about 10 now and I am in the process of editing and deciding on what to do.

Anyway, this is a kind of cool story. I am in the process of writing it, but I wanted to post something to let you guys know I didn't totally abandon FanFiction. On another note, my school blocked this sight and said it was "sexual content" which really sucks. So, I have to update on my own time.

This is the first story I am writing that has POV's and time and places. I decided to try something new. Tell me if you guys like the people POV's or the Narrator POV's.

Enough of me talking though, I really want to get to the story. I hope I didn't forget to say anything. But if I did I will make it up in later chapters. Haha.

Now. On with the story!

_Disclaimer:_ _RENT is owned and created by the great, late Johnathon Larson, my hero._

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**Together Forever?**

(Narrator's POV)

_February 2, 1991. 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Roger and Mimi sat on the couch. Roger had his arm strung on her delicate shoulder, as she read a magazine that Maureen gave her. She brought her legs up to her chest and hugged herself, trying to keep herself warm in the winter weather. Roger pulled his girlfriend closer to him and kissed her neck tenderly.

Mimi smiled, and pulled herself onto his lap.

"Ah much warmer," she laughed.

Roger put his head on hers and started singing the song he wrote for her slowly and softly.

"I love you," she whispered, interrupting his song.

"I love you too," he said, holding her torso out at arm's length and looking into her brown eyes, his favorite feature about her.

"Are we going to be together forever?" Mimi asked out loud. She often asked this question to Roger, even though he chose never to answer. He always simply smiled and kissed her. In her opinion, it was his way of saying _yes_. In reality though, it was Roger's way of avoiding the question.

"_Why does she insist on asking me this?" _he asked himself.

"_Why isn't he answering me?" _Mimi asked in her head after a moment.

"Roger?" she asked out loud again.

"_Are we going to be together forever? No! What kind of a question is that? We have AIDS. Did she forget we were HIV positive? Did it slip her mind that we didn't have much time left? No, we will not be together forever!"_

Mimi sat up a little straighter. Her lips were not in reach. At least not close enough for it to seem normal. If he tried to kiss her, she would know he was doing it to keep her quiet.

"Look at me," he said sweetly, trying to get her to look at him. She obeyed, but as he leaned in for a kiss, she pulled away and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Answer me. Are we going to be together forever?" she teased. She continued smiling, not knowing that her form of fun would only lead to a fight later on. She saw his solemn look and she stopped smiling. "What is wrong?"

"I can't answer that question," Roger offered, giving her a sympathetic look.

"Why not?" Mimi asked, putting a hand on her shoulder and cocking her head slightly. "Is there someone else?"

"Come on Meems!" He stood up and pushed her off of his lap with ease, sliding her onto the other side of the couch. "Who are we kidding? Of course there isn't anyone else. I would never cheat on you." He said the last part with complete seriousness. He placed his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. She knew he would never do anything like that to hurt her.

"So are we going to be together forever?" she smiled, licking her lips, thinking the question was cute.

"What do you want me to tell you?" he asked agitated, removing his hand and standing up straight.

"I want you to tell me we will be together forever. I want you to tell me that you love me. I want you to tell me you want to start a family and be my lawfully wedded wife till death do we part."

"What the fuck?" he yelled. "I cannot take this! Why are you doing this to yourself? To us? I am not going to be with you forever! And what possessed you to think that we are going to start a family. News flash, we have fucking AIDS!"

Mimi sat in shock and stared at her boyfriend.

"How come every time we start to talk seriously you freak out?" she asked slowly. "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing!" he yelled. "I just hate when you talk about all of this shit when you know nothing will happen. There are no miracles anymore."

"Miracles?" Mimi asked. "A miracle is being here, surrounded by great friends and my so-called loving boyfriend, who isn't proving himself too well. A miracle is being alive, when everyone thought I was going to die three months ago. A real miracle is seeing how you have no faith left in you."

"You only get one miracle Meems," Roger said coldly. "And we've already used ours. Remember, three months ago? So stop living in that fantasy world of yours."

Mimi felt tears coming as she watched Roger storm out of the loft.

"Give in to love or live in fear Roger," she sobbed.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_February 2, 1991. 2:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

I entered the room and saw Mimi sitting in the corner, crying. This was the third time this week I had come home to her bawling her eyes out. It was probably something Roger did. They had been carrying on like this ever since Christmas of 1990. It was February and in my opinion, three months was enough.

"Hi Mimi," I said tenderly, putting my camera bag down on the floor.

Mimi turned quickly and wiped her eyes.

"Mark," she gasped. "I didn't hear you come in."

"How are you?" I asked.

"I'm fine," she lied. She pulled the blanket that was wrapped around her closer to her body. She put her head in her hands and tried to suppress her crying.

"Mimi," I said. "I have known you for over a year now. You know you can tell me anything. We are family."

"It's him," she sobbed. "He won't stop acting the way he is. I can't take it anymore. Anytime it starts to get serious or we start to have a conversation, he gets scared, bails out, and runs away. He left again. I started talking about starting a family and he started telling me about how we didn't have much time left and it was pointless to talk about a family."

"He did?" I couldn't believe Roger would act that way. I reached out and wiped a tear from Mimi's eyes.

"I just wish I had someone to talk to without them running away."

"I am here Meems."

Mimi looked up at me and smiled. I helped her off the ground and started to bring her towards the couch, so we could sit down and talk. She had another agenda though. She grabbed the back of my head and looked into my eyes. Or was I looking into her eyes? I wasn't sure.

"Mark," she whispered.

Before I could say anything she pushed her lips against mine. I was taken aback by the bliss of the kiss. I slowly relaxed into it and I ended up deepening the kiss. She pushed me back onto the couch and straddled my lap.

I slowly began taking off her shirt and unclasping her bra. I could not believe Mimi Marquez was sitting on me, with her lips against mine, topless. I wasn't thinking straight and I totally forgot about Roger Davis, my best friend.

She started to undo my pants and I helped her out of hers. Then, she lied back on the couch and let out a deep breath. I wanted to kiss every inch of her body, but she suddenly pushed me away.

"What are we doing?" she cried.

I didn't want to move, but I let her sit up.

"We can't do this," she said.

"Why not?" I asked quickly, not thinking about what I had said.

"Do you want to?" she asked quizzically.

Yes! Of course I wanted to. I have always wanted to. From the first day I saw her I had visions of being with her.

"I don't know," I said slowly. "We will never know until we try, right?"

She looked at me and responded by lying back down and pulling me with her.

It was the best sex of my life!

We moved as one once I entered her and the feeling was perfection. She moaned my name and I returned it with her name. We were one for that moment and it felt so right. In my mind, I wanted to believe I was stealing her virginity, like it was her first time, instead of being just another mark on the bedpost. But I knew that after all this, there was a chance that, that was all I was going to be.

The climax ended and she sat up straighter and I rolled off of her. We stayed like that for a while, with her sitting up and my head in her lap. She ran her fingers through my hair and stared into space.

When I thought nothing could ruin this moment, something did. That something was the door opening, which revealed another something. Roger Davis.

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There it is! Chapter 1. I really, really hope you enjoyed it. Please review and I will love you! No flamers please, they are so pointless. Thanks guys!


	2. Complete Silence

Chapter 2. Thanks to MoowitMi324 for my first comment. Haha. Pretty cool. Read her story guys. It is really good.

So, this chapter was really hard for me to write, because it was a lot of anger. And I hate when Roger and Mimi fight, because I love them so much. I am glad I wrote it though.

Weirdest thing. When I posted my story, the first chapter was called Together Forver? I was watching _Degrassi _at the time, which I love. A new episode came on and it was called Together Forever. I was like whoa...freaky! Haha. It is the little things that amaze or excite me.

On another note, I speak Spanish as a second language, so I have a few phrases in this chapter. For this and further chapters, I will put the translations at the bottom of the page for people who don't speak the language. So, enjoy and review!

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**Complete Silence**

(Mimi's POV)

_February 2, 1991. 3:15 p.m. eastern standard time_

I cannot believe we just did that. I mean Mark? Come on! He was like my brother. I sat on the couch, with his head in my lap. I didn't know what to do or say. I felt so good, but I was too shocked to do anything about it. The thought of Roger was totally out of my mind. I was about to get up and go get a cigarette. Nothing is better than a nice smoke after sex. Before I could open my mouth though, the door slid open.

I turned my head real fast to see who it was, but Mark seemed a little slower on the uptake. He still had his head in my lap, even when he saw who it was.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" Roger yelled when he saw me. Then his eyes widened when he saw who was in my lap.

I quickly moved Mark off of me and tried covering myself with my hands. It isn't like Roger hasn't seen it all, but he felt like a stranger to me at that moment.

"Roger," I said. "I…..I….it isn't what it looks like."

He came storming forward and looked as if he was about to hit me. I jumped over the back of the couch and ran behind Mark. I knew that Roger could easily break Mark into two pieces, but he was my only form of cover.

"WHAT THE HELL?" he screamed.

Roger dove at Mark, but Mark moved. Roger fell at the floor by my feet. I wanted to help him up, but I was too afraid to touch him. I bent down and put my hand on his arm.

He took the back of his hand and smacked me right across the face. The force was so hard, it sent me backwards. I grabbed my cheek and sat there in amazement. Roger, the love of my life just smacked me. Why did this all have to happen? And it was my entire fault.

Roger stood up and went back after Mark. Mark was cornered and threw a punch at Roger, hitting him square in the eye. I screamed. I knew that would only get Roger madder then he already was.

Roger pushed Mark into the wall and looked as if he was going to choke him. He hit him repeatedly in the stomach. I saw Mark's suffering eyes and I started crying. He let Mark fall to the floor and he kicked him on the side.

"STOP!" I screamed. "HE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

"SOME BEST FRIEND!" Roger spat. He turned back to Mark and got in his face. "THOUGHT YOU WOULD GET AWAY WITH SCREWING MY GIRLFRIEND?"

"IT WAS MY FAULT!" I yelled. Roger turned towards me and he had fire in his eyes.

"What?" he asked coldly.

"It was me," I whispered. "My fault."

Roger started slowly walking towards me. I ran into the bathroom and as I turned to close the door I saw him coming at me full speed. I slammed the door and pushed all my body weight against it.

The door starting vibrating and pushing against me as Roger continually hit the door with his body.

"OPEN THIS GOD DAMNED DOOR!" he screamed.

I locked it and sat on the ground. I screamed and cried, trying to numb out Roger's yelling.

"YOU FUCKING SLUT! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?" he yelled. "I AM GOING TO BREAK DOWN THIS FUCKING DOOR AND KILL YOU. OPEN IT UP NOW!"

He wouldn't really kill me. Would he? I was more concerned about Mark's life, which was unprotected and vulnerable to Roger's crazy rampage.

"ROGER, STOP!" I heard Mark say.

Shit! Why is he talking? I wanted to tell him to run, but I was afraid. The banging on the door stopped, but I heard the yells of the two boys and a few crashes of furniture.

I prayed that Collins or Angel or Maureen or Joanne would come and make this all stop. Then, there was an awkward silence. There was no more yells from Mark or threats from Roger.

I put my ear to the door.

Silence.

I put my hand on the doorknob and as soon as I did, I heard an icy voice right on the other side of the door.

"If you don't open this door, I will!"

I gasped and moved away from the door. This was like a nightmare.

Then, the bangs on the doors started getting fiercer and harder and faster. The lock couldn't hold the pressure. I saw it slowly bending and threatening to break. I crawled to the corner and hugged myself. I didn't know what to do. I wished Mark was in here with me, so we were both protected from my crazy boyfriend. Boyfriend? Sounds like a useless word in this situation. Boyfriends don't do this.

"MIMI I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" Roger screamed.

"STOP!" I cried. "Just go away."

The bangs stopped.

"Go away?" he asked. "GO AWAY? FUCK YOU BITCH!"

I looked around the bathroom frantically and saw my razor sitting on the counter.

"Roger!" I yelled. "ROGER! ROGER IF YOU DON'T STOP, I WILL FUCKING KILL MYSELF."

"What?" he asked, his voice a little softer.

"I WILL KILL MYSELF JUST LIKE APRIL DID. I WILL SLIT MY WRISTS AND BLED TO DEATH IN THE BATHTUB. THEN MY BODY WILL WAIT FOR YOU TO COME AND FIND ME."

There was silence.

"Now," I said calmer. "Please step away from the door and just go away. You are scaring me and I need you to leave. Leave Mark alone. Leave me alone. Just go."

"I am not leaving," he said angrily.

"Then I guess I will just sit here for the rest of my life," I said. I paused and then added, "Where is Mark?"

"FUCK YOU MIMI!" he yelled.

I put my ear to the door and sure enough, I heard Roger's angry, heavy breathing on the other side. I began to silently cry again and I sat down on the edge of the bathtub.

I stayed there all night and cried. And outside there was no sound, which scared me even more.

It was silent.

Completely silent.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 10:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

Mimi stayed in there for three days. In my opinion she could fucking die for all I cared. Well, that wasn't entirely true. I started to get nervous by the second day. She wasn't saying anything and for a moment I was sure she killed herself. That is what scared me the most.

I know I could've easily kicked down the door with one foot. Trust me, I have done it before. But something made me leave her alone. Was it the fact that I despised her so much that I didn't even want to see her? Or was it the fact that I still loved and respected her too much?

Ha! Some respect I had. I fucking smacked her across the face. She must hate me. I wanted to make it right, but how could I. What am I saying? She should be the one apologizing, not me! She was the one who fucked Mark. Or did he fuck her? Or did they even have sex? Maybe they just sat around naked. No, that was stupid. They wouldn't do that. Ugh! I am driving myself crazy with all of this shit.

I never left the side of the door. I held my ear to it the whole time. I heard her move around every so often and it reassured me inside.

Mark ran out after I kicked his ass and came back sometime that night. He has been walking around the house very quietly and avoiding me. I don't think he has slept at all, out of fear that I would kill him in his sleep. Which wasn't too bad of an idea.

I heard Mark in his room narrating on that stupid camera.

"February 5, 1991 10:31 a.m. eastern standard time. Roger has not left the spot next to the door and Mimi has been in the bathroom for three days. When is all of this going to end? Or is Roger just going to kill us all?"

I didn't turn around to look at him. I was too tired. Besides, he would shit his pants if he knew I heard his whispering narration.

The telephone suddenly rang and Mark got up to go get it.

"Hello?" he whispered breathlessly before the answering machine could pick it up with our obnoxious SPEAK message.

"Yes," Mark whispered. "Yes……she is………you are? Okay……..see you soon, bye."

Mark looked at me and our eyes met for a moment.

Mark walked into the kitchen area and started rummaging around, pretending to look for something. I knew he was just putting distance between me and him.

"Angel, Collins, Maureen, and Joanne are coming over," Mark said casually. I didn't respond. "Well, Joanne might not come over, she has work."

Mark didn't make eye contact with me the whole time and his voice was shaking.

Why was he so afraid of me?

_That was a stupid question! _

"Don't talk to me," I growled.

Mark quickly shuffled back to his room.

Shit! They were coming? Collins was going to kick my ass, if Angel or Maureen didn't get to it first. Angel and Mo always had this urge to protect Mimi. And Collins always had to be the one to keep me in control. He was probably the only one who could kick my ass anyway.

I didn't know what to do. Should I run? No, that was stupid. Should I wait? No, I would get my ass kicked.

I turned towards the door and banged on it as hard as I could.

"Can I come in?" I asked. My voice came out more as a threat than a question, which was not what I planned at all.

Mimi's gruff _yeah right_ laugh came from inside the bathroom.

I kicked the door lightly and cursed.

Just as I did that, the loft door slid open.

"What are you doing?" Maureen asked.

I guess they didn't know what happened yet.

"Who is in there?" Angel asked in her concerned voice.

"You can fucking have the little slut," I mumbled, walking out of the loft. I grabbed my coat on the way out and stomped down the stairs.

Collins ran after me.

"What happened?" he asked, grabbing my arm.

I put my hand up. "Don't touch me Tom. I am not even joking."

"Tell me what happened?" he said in a louder tone.

"I am leaving," I said. "You want to know what happened? Go ask those two mother fuckers. They will tell you the full thing in fucking detail."

Tom held my arm and prevented me from going.

"I_ will_ talk to you later," he said angrily. "That is a promise."

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 10:55 a.m. eastern standard time_

I walked into the loft, already knowing something was wrong. I have always had this gift. It must be a Spanish thing, because once Mimi told me that she could sense things too.

Well, the first thing that gave me that feeling was Mark's scared voice on the phone and the second was Roger kicking the bathroom door when we walked in.

Collins went after Roger as he left, leaving Maureen and I staring at Mark who was standing in the doorway of his room, his face deathly pale.

"What the hell is going on around here?" Maureen asked, looking directly at Mark. Mark just stood there.

I went up and tentatively knocked on the door.

"I SAID GO AWAY!" Mimi's voice screamed.

"Chica," I said. "It's me."

Mimi started talking quickly in Spanish.

"Es Roger en la sala?"

"No," I responded. "Como estas?"

"Mal," she said, crying.

I turned to look at Maureen, who was trying to follow our conversation.

"Go talk to Mark," I whispered to her. Then I turned back to the door. "Can I come in chica?"

"Who is out there?" Mimi whispered.

"Just me," I said. "Maureen is in Mark's room and Collins is outside. I promise."

The door opened slowly and I squeezed in.

Mimi immediately threw her arms around me and cried. I held her and whispered words of consolation. After she calmed down a bit, she pulled away and sat on the toilet seat.

A simple bath towel was wrapped around her small frame. Her makeup was all over her face and looked as if it had been there for a long time. She was pale and shaking slightly. The bathroom was freezing.

"What happened?" I asked.

Mimi looked at me and started crying again.

"Roger……" she cried. "He…..went…….crazy……I came in here and-"

"Did he hurt you?" I asked. I knew Roger could get abusive when he was angry.

Mimi shook her head. "He did hit me, but I made it into the bathroom before he could get to me. But I think he killed Mark."

I had to laugh at this. She looked up at me and glared.

"Why are you laughing?" she exclaimed.

"Because Roger didn't kill Mark," I said. "Mark is fine. Well I never spoke to him, but he is alive."

Mimi let out a sigh of relief and I put a piece of her hair behind her ear.

"Why was he so mad at you?"

Mimi stared at me and I immediately knew that she was guilty of something. She cleared her throat and whispered something to me very fast. "IsleptwithMark."

"What?" I asked, not knowing what she said.

"I…..I…." she stuttered.

"Spit it out," I laughed.

"I SLEPT WITH MARK!" she screamed. Her eyes went wide as if saying it out loud made it worse. She put her hand over her mouth and closed her eyes. Tears swelled out of them and she starting shaking slightly.

She was so bent out of shape. I couldn't believe it. What I couldn't believe more was that she cheated on Roger. I knew they always fought, but never enough to leave each other.

"How could you?" I blurted out. "I mean, how could that happen?"

"I got into a fight with Roger, he left, and I cried. You know, the usual afternoon schedule. Then Mark came home and one thing led to another and I kissed him. What made me do it? Who knows? Well, after, Roger came home and went crazy."

"Oh baby," I said, pulling her in for a hug. "We are going to make this right. Don't worry. But first, you need to get clothes on. You are ice cold. Then we will feed you and then we will figure it all out."

"I don't want to," Mimi whined.

I nodded and walked out of the bathroom. I wasn't going to leave her in there, but I wasn't going to force her to leave. I was going to have Tom force her.

"Hi honey," I said to him. "Can you go in and get Mimi?"

"Sure baby," he said. I loved how he never asked questions and just did what I asked. He went to get her and I watched from the doorway.

He scooped her up, much to her protest. She started pushing away from him and hitting his chest.

"Stop Collins," she said weakly. Her feet were kicking and she was trying to move away. Collins laid her down on the couch and sat down next to her.

I went into the room Mimi and Roger shared, across the door from Mark's. I got her a big sweatshirt lying on the bed and her sweat pants. I brought them out to her and she slowly put them on under the towel.

"This is Roger's sweatshirt," she began to sob.

I put my arm around her and let her cry on my shoulder. I could sense something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then one of Mimi's famous lines popped into my head.

_AZT Break!_

She hadn't been taking it!


	3. You'll See

Hi everyone. Sorry for the short wait. School has been crazy. But in the midst of my studying tonight, I decided to treat you guys. I really want to hear your input on this chapter. So please Read and Review!

By the way, I realized that I forgot the translations in the last chapter. Whoops!

Chica: girl or a form of _honey_ or _sweetie_

Es Roger en la sala: Is Roger in the living room?

Como estas?: How are you?

Mal: bad

I also forgot to tell everyone this is Post-RENT. (if you haven't guessed)

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**You'll See**

(Maureen's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 10:55 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Go talk to Mark," Angel whispered to me. I nodded and turned to go find my Pookie. He was sitting on the bed. He hadn't shaven in three days and his hair was everywhere. He had his hands clasped and he was looking at the ground.

"Hey Pookie," I whispered.

"Don't Pookie me," he mumbled.

"What happened?"

"Mimi happened," he said, lying back on the bed.

"Huh?"

"I had sex with Mimi," he said naturally.

I was taken aback. "WHAT?"

"Three days ago. Roger caught us, kicked the shit out of me, and Mimi locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten. I keep thinking he is going to kill me."

"This is so bizarre," I laughed. "He won't kill you, you are too cute."

"I'm not in the mood for your stupid flirting," he replied angrily.

"What I should be saying is that you saved Roger's life. He wouldn't kill you! You got him through withdrawal and you are his best friend. I know how Roger acts. He gets angry and out of control. But you know deep down he doesn't really mean it."

"He really did," Mark said. "I know it."

"He wouldn't kill you!" I laughed. "He loves you deep down, but he was just angry. And who wouldn't be? I mean, you slept with his girlfriend. And Mimi is a fine piece of ass."

"You aren't helping," he mumbled.

"What made you do it? I mean, what made you fuck her?"

"I don't know," he said. "We sort of looked at each other and then she kissed me and then it was all downhill from in there."

"This is crazy!" I laughed. And it was crazy. Mark and Mimi? It was too weird. "Well, you need to come and talk to Mimi."

"I cannot face her again," Mark said.

"Then I will make you," I giggled. I loved screwing with his head. So, I went out of Mark's room. I saw Collins carrying Mimi out of the bathroom. Perfect timing! I waited as she put on some clothes. Then, she turned to Angel and started crying.

"You need to talk to Mark," I said out loud. Mimi pulled away from Angel and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Are you serious?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

"Is that Roger I hear?" I said, pretending I heard Roger. Mimi flew off the couch and walked towards the bathroom. I grabbed her and ushered her into Mark's room.

"No I can't," Mimi whispered fiercely, looking at me with pleading eyes.

I closed the door behind her and held it there. I felt her push against it, but I wouldn't budge.

"That was mean Mo," Angel said, standing up.

"You need to go talk to Roger," I said to Collins. Then I turned to Angel. "And we will just wait," I added.

"I am worried," Angel said. "I think Mimi hasn't been taking her AZT."

I was sick of the attention being on her, so I shrugged it off.

"It is fine," I said. "She has missed it before. I promise she will get back on tack with it. Don't bother her please, it will only make her more stressed and mad."

"You are right I suppose," Angel said.

"Mimi is responsible Angel. She will start taking again by today. You know you can trust her," Collins smiled, putting an arm around Angel. "I will be right back. I have to go find the rocker." Collins ran out of the room laughing.

I looked back at the door and grinned at my good work at getting them in the same room.

I was an expert at this. I always got caught doing something with my boyfriend's or girlfriend's best friends. The best way to deal with it was to talk to the best friend and just work it out and talk about what happened.

For once, I was an expert at something.

_Damn Maureen! You are good!_

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 11:15 a.m. eastern standard time_

I turned around and saw Mimi with her back to me, facing the door, and pushing against it. She gave up and let out a frustrated sigh.

She slowly turned to me and stared at me. She didn't smile or frown. She just stared at me. Well, kind of past me, as if I wasn't there.

"What are we going to do about this?" I asked.

"Nothing," she mumbled. I was so sure that she was going to lay on the bed and another scene similar to three days ago would play out.

My Mimi looked so pale and weak.

Wait…….._my_ Mimi? Why was I calling her that? She wasn't mine. She was Roger's. She wasn't even Roger's. She wasn't anyone's. Technically though, she was Roger's girlfriend, which made her taken. And she wasn't taken by me, which really sucked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Mimi laughed a little. "What we did was stupid and wrong. I blame myself and I know it was inappropriate and uncalled for. I hurt Roger, which just hurts me inside. I love him and I hate myself so much!"

"Mimi, don't hate yourself," I offered quietly.

"I regret everything! I always told myself to forget regret, but I can't forget. How can I forget? I've crossed some borderline and there is no turning back."

Does she mean that she is with me now? Is that what she means by no turning back?

"I can never go back, because I am never going to forget this and Roger is never going to fully forgive me."

I guess that is not what she meant.

"He'll forgive you," I said, reaching my arm out to her. She pulled away awkwardly. Oh yes, we fucked up big time. Our relationship will never be the same. Roger will never let me touch her again. This is so bad. Roger will never speak to me again.

"He'll forgive you too," Mimi said in a shaky voice. "You are best friends and have been through way too much. He was just angry."

"And he loves you. I have watched him with every single relationship. He truly loves you and he will forgive you no matter what."

Mimi closed her eyes and sat down on the edge of my bed. I wanted to go sit next to her and hold her, but I knew that was out of the question.

"You are afraid of him," I pointed out. "Aren't you?"

Mimi looked out the window and whispered. "Yes."

"He won't hurt you," I said.

"He won't mean to hurt me you mean," she laughed sadly. "I know he will never mean to do anything, but in the heat of the moment……"

She trailed off and I stared at her.

"You know what scares me the most?" she asked after a moment, still not looking at me. "I am afraid of losing him. Roger Davis is the best thing that has ever happened to me."

"You two are perfect for each other," I added under my breath.

"We are perfect for each other," she said.

_Perfect. Fucking perfect. _

o o o o o

(Collins' POV)

_February 5, 1991. 11:17 a.m. eastern standard time_

I obeyed Maureen, which was weird, because I usually don't do that. Everything was too screwed up to argue with someone. From what I heard through the bathroom door, Mark and Mimi are dating or something. Maybe I heard wrong. I hope so. What could be worse then them dating? Roger will be crushed. That is probably why he is so angry. I don't blame the man. But I still needed to talk to him. I went to the Life Café, because I knew that was the only bar he could afford to drink at. I walked into the restaurant and saw him sitting in the corner, with a few empty shot glasses already in front of him. Good thing my boy could hold his liquor. That is the one thing I never had to worry about, Roger getting totally wasted. It would take a truckload of alcohol to do that. I think he might need that much at the moment, though. He looked terrible. His hair was messed up and sticking out everywhere. The bags under his eyes hung low. His green eyes were glistening with tears and confusion.

I walked over to him and sat down next to him.

"I know why you are mad," I said. "But do you want to talk about it?"

Roger sat there.

"Did they give you any warning? Or did they just start dating?" I asked him, looking at his face.

"What are you talking about Tom?" he asked angrily, swallowing another shot.

"Mimi and Mark," I said. "Aren't they dating?"

"Fuck that!" Roger said loudly. "Much worse. I walked in on them fucking."

Mark and Mimi? What the hell?

"Mark?" I asked in disbelief. "And Mimi? Are you sure?"

"I'm not an idiot Collins," he said. "I know what I saw. It was fucked up. I am never going to forgive them."

"You need to talk to them. And apologize?"

"Apologize?" Roger asked. "APOLOGIZE?"

"Calm down," I whispered.

"WHY SHOULD I SAY SORRY? THEY SHOULD SAY SORRY TO ME?"

"THEY DIDN'T BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU ROGER!" I laughed.

"They fucking broke my heart, which is a lot worse," he said, taking another gulp.

"They will apologize. I know they will. Mimi misses you so bad. She is so out of it. Her whole world has been turned around."

"Tell the slut to join the club," he scoffed.

This got me mad. How could he say that? I hated when he said things like that to her. Mimi didn't deserve that. No one did. She was not a slut and for Roger to call her that was insulting to me, because I knew she deserved better. I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and made him look me in the eye.

"Don't fucking say things like that," I whispered fiercely.

His eyes got wide and he knew that those kinds of things pissed me off.

"I'm sorry," Roger said. I don't think I have ever heard the boy apologize. "I am just so mad, but I want her so badly. I am torn between two things here Collins."

"It's all going to work out," I said, pulling him in for a hug. "You'll see."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 12:01 p.m. eastern standard time_

I had to leave Mark's room. It was too awkward of a silence after the conversation. I walked out at the worst possible timing, though.

Roger had just walked in the door with Collins. I turned around and went to go back inside, but I ran smack into Mark's chest. He put his arms on my shoulders for support. I pulled away. I didn't mean to pull away from him so fast, but I was afraid to be around him. Afraid to be accused. Afraid that it would happen again. I just buried my face in my hands and prayed that I would disappear.

"Let me guess," Roger said coldly. "You did it again? Rebound sex?"

I couldn't talk. I couldn't look at him.

"Shut up Roger!" Maureen said. "You obviously need to talk, so go ahead and do it."

Roger laughed and headed for his room. Collins chased after him and shoved him into the wall.

"I know you are hurt," Collins said. "But that is no excuse. You need to talk. I am not letting you go till you do."

Roger pushed Collins off of him angrily. It looked like he was about to hit Collins, but he backed down. I knew he wouldn't dare, because Collins was equal in strength and the fight would be so bloody and rough on both ends. It just wouldn't be worth it.

"You want to talk?" Roger asked fiercely, looking at me. "Be my guest."

"Not here," I forced out of my mouth, in a whisper.

Roger walked into the room we shared and I reluctantly followed him. I closed the door behind myself and leaned against it. He started picking up clothes on the ground, and then he sat on the bed and didn't look at me.

His hair was covered in raindrops.

"It's raining?" I asked softly.

He didn't answer. I looked out the window and sure enough it was raining.

There was at least three minutes of silence, but it seemed like an eternity.

"I'm-"

Roger cut me off. "Don't even fucking say it Mimi. You aren't sorry, because if you were, you wouldn't have done it."

"We all make mistakes," I said.

"And you fucked up big time."

"I never meant for it to happen," I cried, taking a big breath and biting on my nails.

"But it did!" he yelled. "I can never forgive you."

"You…….you…..can't?" I asked, completely shocked. Surely, he could find a way to forgive me.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?"

I kept quiet and turned towards the door to leave.

"I want to forgive you," he said angrily. I turned towards him, ready to jump into his arms. "But I can't," he added. "I really thought I loved you Mimi, I really did. But I just don't know anymore." Then he looked at the ground and whispered. "Stop biting your nails."

I smiled on the inside, because he always told me to stop my little habits. He told me it was out of love. I used to get mad when he told me these things, but now, when he said it, it was a sign of hope.

I looked at him, searching for a grin on his face, but I only got an angry and hurt expression.

"Roger….." I started. I held back tears and ran out of the room. Everyone was staring at me. I had to run away, so I ran down to my old room. It was completely empty and caked with dust. I sat in the corner and cried. I tried to hold it back, but it didn't work. I just kept crying. I wanted Roger back. I wanted to rewind time. I wanted to die.

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	4. Make Things Right

I LOVE this chapter with a passion. I hope you do too!

_Disclaimer:I love Adam Pascal, who plays Roger, who was created by Jonathon Larson (R.I.P.), who cast Adam Pascal, who loves me. Don't you just love RENT_ :-P

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**Make Things Right**

(Mark's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 12:17 a.m. eastern standard time_

I saw Mimi run out of the loft. I was going to go after her, but Roger came out at that moment.

"Everyone, get out," he said angrily. Everyone stood there, staring at him. "NOW!"

They all got the message and walked out the door. Roger went to the doorway and watched them go down the stairs, making sure they didn't go talk to Mimi. And what would he have done if they did? I was sick of him taking control. I started back to my room when I heard Roger slam the door and turn around, glaring at me.

"How was it?" he asked coldly.

I stared at him with a blank expression.

"Fucking Mimi," he said, looking at me with anger. "How was it?"

"Roger," I started. "If I could rewind time…."

I wouldn't change anything. I would keep everything the same. It was amazing. I loved her, I really did.

"Just let me know," Roger said. "Who came on to whom?"

Mimi came onto me. How would I tell him, though? I really didn't want to end their relationship. That was the last thing I wanted to do.

"I came onto her," I mumbled.

He sighed with a relieved look in his eyes, but everything washed away when he looked at me.

"How could you do this to me?"

"She was sad," I blurted out. "You wouldn't talk to her and she was lonely."

"There is no excuse!"

"And there isn't an excuse for going crazy and _slapping _her!" I yelled. I was still angry that Roger had the nerve to do that to her.

Roger stood up and I was certain he was going to hit me. I cowered slightly, but never let my gaze leave his eyes.

"Mark," he said, a little softer than I expected. "I really do love her. And I don't want to fight with her, but you guys just crossed the line." Roger put his head in his hands and ran his fingers threw his hair.

I couldn't help but smile at how stressed out he was.

"Do you enjoy seeing me suffer?" Roger yelled. "Do you think it is funny? Do you feel accomplished that you broke us up?"

"You aren't broken up," I replied. "Hell, you both love each other. Nothing can destroy that. I am smiling, because I have never seen you so forgiving to anyone."

Roger grinned slightly, but then stopped.

"Listen," I said. "I am truly sorry about everything. I really am, but you need to make things right between you two. You know you do."

"I just don't know what to do first," Roger said. "Make things right between my best friend or my girlfriend."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 12:25 p.m. eastern standard time_

I slowly made my way out of Roger's bedroom, unheard by the two boys. I snuck into the bathroom and crouched there for a minute, listening to the conversation.

"Just let me know," Roger was saying. "Who came on to whom?"

"I came onto her," Mark mumbled.

Liar! Mark just lied to his best friend to save my ass. Why would he do that? He obviously doesn't want to break us apart. I silently thanked him for that. But then felt guilty. I continued to eavesdrop and waited for Roger to leave.

"I just don't know what to do first," Roger said. "Make things right between my best friend or my girlfriend."

Roger stood up and I closed the bathroom door slowly. I knew he heard the door close, because he immediately went to his room. I slipped out two seconds later to find Mark sitting on the couch still.

"You are a liar Mark Cohen," I said.

I sat down next to him. Well, more like on the total opposite end of the couch.

"What do you mean?" he asked, looking into my eyes. I hated when he people did that, except for Roger. I never minded when he did it.

"You lied," I repeated. "You didn't come onto me."

"I sort of did," he said. Mark looked behind him at the rain falling from the sky in heavy sheets. "I should have stopped when I was ahead. I mean, come on, it was my best friend's girlfriend. I was at fault."

"But if I didn't kiss you, nothing would have happened. And you know it."

Mark nodded and looked at the ground.

"Besides," I laughed. "At least we got that little thing out of our systems. I mean we will look back at this and laugh. You will find someone and I will be with Roger and we will know that everything we did was not worth it and that there is nothing else to question between us."

Mark stared at me blankly.

"I mean," I stuttered. "I didn't feel anything. And you didn't and-"

"Says who?" he asked angrily.

"What?" I asked slowly, fearing the worst.

I have always been good at reading people and by looking at Mark; I knew what he was thinking. He loved it………or maybe not the sex, but he loved _me_. I always had that small suspicion that he liked me. He was always looking at me admiringly. How could this happen? I can't have them both loving me. This was horrible.

Mark looked at me with sad eyes and sighed.

"_I thought we had a chance,"_ he thought silently.

"No," he coughed. "I didn't feel anything. And you are totally right." He scooted towards me and put his hand on my knee. "What we did was wrong, like you said. And it is over, so…..friends?"

I put my hand on his hand and removed it from my knee.

"Friends," I said, smiling.

Mark looked at me for a moment, like he was going to kiss me. He leaned in for a hug, just as Roger's bedroom door opened. I turned around, but Mark still had his arms wrapped around me. I saw Roger run out of the loft and down the stairs.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_February 5, 1991. 1:10 p.m. eastern standard time_

I cannot believe it! Are they together? No! Stop Roger. Get a hold of yourself. She loves you. Mark said so himself. He also said he was my best friend and best friends don't screw each other over.

I stepped onto the sidewalk and was immediately drenched with the hard hitting rain. It was the afternoon, but the sky was dark and it looked like nighttime. I just began walking down the street.

"ROGER!" I heard behind me. I shook it off, thinking it was my imagination. But then I heard it again. I turned around and saw Mimi running at me in her stiletto shoes that she wore at the Cat Scratch Club. They must have been the closest pair of shoes she could grab. She was running slowly, trying to avoid falling and breaking her neck. She was a good distance from me and I kept walking.

"ROGER STOP!" she yelled. I heard a small thud and I turned around. Sure enough she had fallen into a puddle on the street, totally drenching herself. Part of me ran back and helped her up, but the stronger and angrier part kept me where I was. I knew it was heartless, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

She stood up slowly. "I'M SORRY!" she screamed.

"IF YOU WERE SORRY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE FUCKED MARK!" I yelled back.

She smiled slightly.

"ROGER I-"

"DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME MIMI! IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS TO ME."

"I WOULDN'T HAVE STUCK AROUND IF I DIDN'T LOVE YOU!" she screamed over the rain. She held her hands out on either side of her, palms up and her face was so truthful. It was so bizarre, listening to her pour her heart out to me as the rain came pouring down around us. No one else was around the street. We were in our own angry world. She continued to walk towards me.

"I want to forgive you Mimi," I said not even sure if she heard me, nor did I care if she heard.

"YOU NEED TO KNOW," she panted, coming very close to me. "YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU. I LOVE YOU ROGER."

I turned and walked away swiftly. She yelled after me.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ROGER?"

She looked up at the sky as the rain came down harder then ever. She put her arms out, as if she was getting ready to fly. I saw her feet slowly begin to spin around, carefully, so they wouldn't trip over themselves. I watched her as she began spinning in the rain, like a little girl. It hypnotized me.

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW I AM SORRY!" she yelled. Each sorry got louder and louder and soon she was literally screaming at the top of her lungs. "I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I WANT EVERYONE TO KNOW THAT I AM SORRY FOR EVERYTHING I DID TO ROGER DAVIS."

Her echoes were bouncing down the alleys and hitting the walls, so that I could still hear her screaming even after she was done.

She was still spinning even after her apologies had ceased. She was spinning dangerously fast. I wanted to reach out and grab her, to stop her.

"I LOVE ROEGR DAVIS! I LOVE HIM, I LOVE HIM, AND I LOVE HIM! I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT HIM. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I……..WHOA!"

Mimi got carried away with her spinning and fell forward, teetering on her ridiculously tall heels. I threw out my arms and caught her. I spun her around, holding her body above another large puddle formed in a dip, placed near the sidewalk. She looked up at me. I should've stood her up straight, but I didn't.

"I love you Roger Davis," she whispered. "Can you find it to forgive me? I am so-"

"Mimi," I said. "I never thought I could forgive you. And I don't even know if I can."

"Give in to love or live in fear babe," she whispered.

I couldn't help myself. I kissed her. I kissed her long and hard. The rain fell down our faces and mixed in with the kiss. I eventually let go and pulled her up. She threw her arms and legs around me, talking about how much she loved me and how sorry she was.

It was my turn to spin. I spun and spun in the torrential rain, with my girlfriend wrapped around my torso, with her head buried in my chest, crying about how sorry she was.

I brought her lips up to mine and continued to spin and kiss her passionately. I loved Mimi Marquez. I loved her.

I looked up to the sky.

"I LOVE MIMI MARQUEZ!" I yelled.

"I LOVE ROGER DAVIS!" she yelled louder, looking up too, and smiling widely.

And at that moment, I forgave her. There was nothing left to be said. Well, there still was a lot to be discussed. But I forgave her that day in the rain. Something I swore I would never do. I did it though. I forgave her and that was all she needed. And she was all needed. And we had each other in the pouring rain. And I never wanted it to change.

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Can you see why I love it? I think it is so cute when a couple yells to each other in the rain. Ahh! Love it.

Okay, read and review please.


	5. For Now

_Disclaimer:Thank You Jonathon Larson!_

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**For Now**

(Mark's POV)

_February 6, 1991. 4:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I heard Mimi and Roger enter last night, together. So, they made up. All was happy. Hooray. But why was I not happy? I will tell you why. It is because I loved her. And I still do. I was so angry about everything, but at the same time I was glad the infamous couple was back together.

I sat on my bed, looking through some film, like usual, when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said absentmindedly.

The door opened and Roger's frame stood in the doorway, staring at me.

"We are going to meet everyone at the Life," Roger said dryly. "You coming?"

No. I didn't want to come. I shook my head, thinking that would make Roger leave, but I was unsuccessful, for he still stood in the doorway.

"Listen man," he said slowly. "I wanted to………well…….."

"You don't have to be sorry," I said.

"I'm not!" Roger said quickly. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. "I mean……well….. I am sorry for beating the shit out of you, but you understand I was mad, right?"

"I understand," I said, not looking at him and burying my face in my camera.

"Please come," Roger said. "I am not mad at you anymore. It is time to forgive you. You are my best friend and I don't want you moping for the rest of your life."

"I just don't want you to hate me anymore. I am sick of walking around here and being afraid."

Roger nodded. "It must suck."

I laughed. There was an awkward silence. Roger sat down next to me and gave me a manly hug that you find best friends giving each other. I was forgiven………..sort of. I knew it would never totally be the same, but at least everyone was on good terms. I spoke to Mimi and now Roger was talking to me again, without it being physical abuse or cursing. I started to adjust to my happy mood, which had been an unfamiliar feeling for the last four days.

"I will tell you," Roger said smirking slightly. "I will get payback somehow. You know I will."

"Okay pretty boy," I laughed. We walked out of the room together. I knew he would get revenge and it wouldn't be pretty. But for now it was all good.

Mimi was standing by the sliding door, with her hand on her hip.

She looked beautiful. Her brown curly hair was falling down all around her. She had on her favorite leopard print coat over a multi-colored skirt and a tight black long sleeved shirt. Her bright blue boots were covering her petite feet. She was leaning her back against the wall and her brown eyes were sparkling with impatience.

"Hey," she said to the two of us. I smiled and looked at Roger, who was grinning proudly. I walked out of the loft and saw out of the corner of my eye, Roger kiss Mimi passionately.

Then I heard her say, "Did you forgive him?"

"Yes," Roger responded dryly.

"Thank you," she said in a high pitched voice before the two of them ran to catch up with me.

So Mimi told him to forgive me. Maybe it wasn't purely Roger's choice. But I would like to think it was. That would be good.

Mimi laughed and came up between Roger and me and put her arms around our shoulders. She had to reach up a great deal, to be able to touch our shoulders, but she still managed to use us as a friendly arm rest.

"I love you guys," she yelled out loud. "Let's never fight again."

Roger looked at her with a hint of anger. I knew he wanted to say, "then don't have sex with my best friend again and we won't fight."

I couldn't worry about that though. Mimi had said she loved me. Well….she said she loved _us._ But it was good enough for me.

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_February 6, 1991. 5:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

Mark entered the Life with a smug look on his face. He had on his cute little scarf. I loved that scarf, it totally made my Pookie who he was. Behind him I saw Mimi and Roger. They were laughing and holding hands.

"Holy shit," I whispered to Collins. "They made up!" I was so excited. I hated when Mimi and Roger weren't together. For one, it made everyone so depressed and everything so awkward. Also, Roger never had an interest in me and never will. So when he is single, I can't even think about screwing around with him when they apart, because he would never go for it. So their breakups are never fun.

Collins whistled loudly and started clapping. Mimi bent her knees slightly and leaned into Roger, blushing, but smiling none the less.

Roger was expressionless as he sat down with Collins, Angel, and me.

"Where is Joanne?" Mark asked.

"Working," Angel laughed.

I hated how they were answering for me. It was probably better though, because I hated to hear about Joanne and her stupid, fucking work. I barely saw her anymore. It was driving me crazy.

"Shut the fuck up Ang," I laughed. "Let's get fucking wasted and try and find our way home after."

"Amen," Mimi said. I could tell things were still a little rocky between the couple of the century. I smiled and waved the waiter down.

"WINE AND BEER!" we all yelled.

5 rounds and 2 hours later, I could successfully say we were all either drunk or very buzzed. I was having a staring contest with Roger, who was amazing at holding his liquor.

"Why are you so good at drinking?" I slurred. I looked and saw Mimi and Angel speaking fast in Spanish, which made my head hurt. I stood up and grabbed Mark's hand.

"Dance with me!" I laughed, bringing my face close to his.

"You're drunk," Mark said. I could never tell if the kid was drunk, because Mark could act drunk, but he could also compose himself at the drop of a pin.

"Am not!" I said quickly. I really wasn't. Maybe I was halfway to wasted and most definitely buzzed, but not drunk. I just liked to act all ditzy and crazy, because I had an excuse! 5 rounds is an excellent excuse.

"I'm not dancing," Mark laughed.

"Then let's go for a walk!" I laughed. I grabbed his hand and walked over to the corner of the bar and sat down. It was so quiet in the corner. I usually hate quiet, but for some reason, I like it here.

"It's quiet," Mark said under his breath. He put his hands on his knees and kept balling up the material in his fists and then loosening it.

"What is wrong?" I asked, knowing something wasn't right about my Pookie.

"It's Mi…….forget it," he mumbled.

"Pookie! I love you and I care about you, so stop being secretive around me. Just tell me!"

"It's Mimi!" he yelled. I looked over at our table. No one noticed. They were too busy laughing and dancing on the table.

"Oh. What is wrong? Is she still mad at you?"

"No," Mark said, looking at me. "You are so oblivious. I like her. I love her! Why aren't you comprehending this?"

Because it is too much to comprehend Mark! I sighed. I couldn't say that out loud. I needed to be nice. My Pookie is delicate.

"I am trying too, but you do realize that Mimi loves Roger?"

"I know Mo. He is my best friend. How horrible am I? I hate myself."

"No you don't," I laughed. "Stop it."

"I am though!" he yelled. This time, Roger heard and looked over at us quizzically. I pretended I didn't see him and continued talking to Mark, more quietly than before.

"Mark," I whispered. "You may love Mimi. Hell, she has that affect on people. But I am sure there is someone out there for you, because you are a great guy. I hate to burst your bubble though. Mimi most likely will not fall in love with you."

"It was lust," Mark said dryly. "The whole thing was lust on her part. How stupid am I?"

"Knock it off," I said. I looked into his hurting blue eyes. He had his head in his hand and his face was leaning over the bar, but he managed to look up at me over the rim of his fogged glasses.

I leaned in and began to kiss him. It felt so good to be doing it again. So comfortable. Screw Joanne! I was with Mark now! I was with-

"Stop!" Mark pulled away abruptly. "You are with Joanne."

"Not anymore," I said. "I am sick of her and I think I may love you."

"I need someone who is serious and in it for the long run. I guess I am just not the type to date people," Mark said sadly, standing up. "I am done with people playing with my emotions. You stole my heart and gave it back broken. Then Mimi persisted to walk all over it in her stupid black high heels. And the only reason she did it was because her pretty boy rocker boyfriend, who always gets the girl, was being an asshole. What else is new? No one ever gives Mark the time of day. Mark only gets the cheap slice of love or he is used as a rebound or a one night stand. I am not going to be used anymore. I swear by it."

He was angry at the end of his little speech.

"Mark," I called. It wasn't even worth it though. He walked away angrily and out the front door into the cold February weather. I watched in pity as he went.

That was a stupid move. I knew in the back of my head that we weren't going to last. So why did I do it. Lust, again! Poor Mark. How horrible am I?

Oh great! Now I am asking that stupid question. Okay, maybe it is time for me to stop hurting people who have the same emotional capacity as Mark. I needed to find Joanne and work everything out. My days with Mark were done. My days with flirting were done. I would always have these feelings, but I would never fulfill them.

I sighed, satisfied with myself. I looked at the door Mark just left. A lock of my hair fell in front of my face and I tucked it behind my ear.

_Oh Mark. Why do you always end up getting hurt?_

o o o o o

(Joanne's POV)

_February 7, 1991. 10:15 a.m. eastern standard time_

I rolled off my couch and hit the floor. There were papers all around me and a few pens were stuck in my tangled hair. What the hell?

I stood up and went to find my robe that my mother got me for Christmas. I looked at the clock in the bedroom I shared with Maureen and gasped. 10:15! That was extremely late for me to wake up. Luckily, today was Saturday, so I didn't have to worry about work and could focus on………..what could I focus on?

I didn't have anything else to do. Work had been my life for the last three weeks. Well, more like the last four years, but these three weeks had been intense. I had lost the last case, because my stupid, idiotic boss paired me up with an intern, who wanted to try and take on a real case. I took off one day to spend it with Maureen and I come back to work the next day and found out the intern went to court in my place, without my knowledge. His plan was to surprise me and make me proud and maybe get a contract once he won the case. His plans didn't go accordingly though and he lost.

I went to get some coffee when I saw our answering machine blinking. I pushed the red button and that annoying woman's mechanical voice came on saying, "one new message."

"Hi Joanne," Mark's voice said. There was loud laughter and screaming in the background. "We all went out for a drink tonight and everyone came home drunk. So they are all crashing here tonight. I didn't want you to worry about Maureen, because she is your _girlfriend. _And you shouldn't have to have your heart broken or worry about her. Bye."

Mark's voice was sad and pathetic. He was probably still upset about Mimi. Maureen had told me all about it in between my work one night. She ended up getting mad and saying I never listened, but I did listen and I knew what was going on.

Poor Mark. As weird as the message he left me was, I still felt pity for him. I quickly went to get dressed. Now I knew what to do with my Saturday. I could spend it with my friends. They probably all hate me for not being around too much, but I couldn't help it. I was the only one with a true job, besides Collins. At least he understood my addiction to work.

I came out of the bedroom with a pair of dress pants, heels, and a long sleeved shirt. I grabbed my coat, threw it over myself and grabbed my coffee. I put a headband in my hair, glanced in the mirror for a second, not even really looking, and walked out the front door. I got into my car and started to drive slowly to the loft. I hated driving there, because I was so scared my car would get stolen, but I had no desire to walk. I looked casually at the window displays at stores. I missed the Christmas hustle and bustle. Now the shopping district was a barren place that was trying to make up for their phenomenal holiday sales.

I sighed. Why was February so depressing? I always found it a dismal time of the year. My grandma died when I was a little girl in February. My grades always seemed to go downhill in February, because when I was younger I stopped caring at this time of my life. I couldn't wait for spring. I love that time of the year. Everything was happy and calm.

The loft looked dead as I pulled up in front of it. I took my keys, climbed out, and locked the doors. The smell of the street suffocated me as I quickly walked up the damp stairs. The loft door was never locked, so I gradually made my way in.

The sight was hilarious. Maureen was strung out on the couch. Mark was asleep under the couch, spread out as if he was making snow angels. Speaking of Angels, Angel was lying on the metal table. Collins was sitting back with his back leaning against the pole that stood off the side and held the loft's roof up. Mimi was curled up in Roger's arms, sitting at the foot of the couch. Roger had his head all the way back and was snoring loudly.

"EVERYONE UP!" I yelled, trying to hold back my laughter. Mark sat up instantly and wiped his mouth. Collins fell over at the sound of my voice and grumbled something angrily. Roger yawned and pushed Mimi off of him. Mimi, who was still sound asleep, simply rolled onto the floor and continued to sleep. Angel sat up, completely alert. She looked as if sleep hadn't phased her one bit. She crossed her legs and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Good morning Joanne," she said primly, standing up to give me a hug.

"My fucking head," Roger said.

Mark stood up and went to get some coffee.

I stared at Maureen, who was still sleeping. She looked so innocent. I wanted to cherish the moment forever, but Roger killed it, by picking up her feet and throwing them to the ground so he could sit on the couch.

"Shit!" she yelled, still asleep. "Fuck you!"

"She curses in her sleep?" Collins asked me. I nodded. "That is so like her," he laughed.

"What happened to you guys?" I asked.

"Wine and beer," Angel laughed. "I wish you could've come. It was a lot of fun."

I saw Mark's face and he didn't look like he was agreeing with her.

"Sorry," I said. "I had a lot of work to do."

"Work, work, work," Maureen yawned, sitting up. "Is that all you ever do Pookie?"

"Hi Mo," I laughed.

"Wake up Meems," Collins said to Roger. Roger who had fallen back to sleep didn't answer or move.

Collins walked over and put his foot into her stomach, making her curl over and grab herself.

"OUCH!" she yelped. She looked up and Collins and swatted at his foot. "Go away Tom!"

"Never," he laughed.

Mimi stood up and sat down on Roger's sleeping lap as if it was just a regular seat. Well….to her it was. I watched the couple. They were so cute together. I glanced at Maureen, who was staring at the ground. I walked over to her and gave her a big kiss. She smiled at me and kissed me back.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_February 9, 1991. 4:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was sitting on Maureen's couch in the apartment her and Joanne lived in. She was babbling on about some acting opportunity.

"Are you going to do it?" I asked.

"I think," she said. "As long as Joanne wants me to."

"When did you ever care about what Joanne thinks?" I laughed.

"Since last night," she laughed. "We had a long talk."

"What happened?" I asked, clearly interested. The couple barely ever had a talk about anything. So this was a first. Maureen took a sip of her soda and began telling me about their talk.

_Maureen walked into the bedroom to find Joanne sitting in bed, reading a book. It wasn't one of Joanne's usual law firm books, so Maureen knew she was in a relaxed mood._

"_Hi baby," Maureen said, sitting next to her._

"_Where were you?" Joanne asked suspiciously._

"_I went to get a bagel. I was in the mood for one, so I went to the coffee shop. It was really stale and not that good, but I really wanted it."_

_Joanne was shocked. Usually Maureen just replied, "out."_

"_Oh," Joanne said. "That is good."_

"_I guess," Maureen sighed. "Pookie, we need to talk."_

_Joanne gasped. This was it. Maureen was going to break up with Joanne. She was certain of it._

"_Are you kidding me Maureen?"_

_Maureen looked at Joanne confused. "What do you mean?"_

"_You cheated on me again, didn't you? I thought we loved each other! Well, let's cut to the chase. Who is moving out? I pay more of the bills. In fact, I pay all of them! You can go move into the loft and-"_

_Maureen ran at Joanne and grabbed her girlfriend's angry flying hands. Joanne had thrown herself from the bed and began pacing all around in an angry fit._

"_Sit down baby," Maureen said. Maureen sat down on the bed, pulling Joanne with her._

"_What?" Joanne snapped._

"_I need to tell you something," Maureen started. "The other night all of us were at the Life and Mark was totally bent out of shape. He was so upset and I felt horrible. Part of me wanted to be back together with him, but he stopped me and knew that if anything escalated, it would only end in his defeat. He said he would just get screwed over again. And it is true, because I can screw around for the rest of my life, but my heart will always lie with you. I knew that I needed to let you know this, because I saw how Roger and Mimi's relationship began to collapse and I saw the pain Mark endured, so I needed to be open with you. I love you Joanne and any suspicion of me cheating needs to be circumvented, because I love you. And that is all you need to know."_

_Joanne looked at Maureen with a priceless smile._

"_Did you just say circumvented?" Joanne asked laughing. "I didn't know you knew that word."_

"_I am serious Jo!" Maureen pouted._

_Joanne cleared her throat and started speaking seriously. "I know I have been working a lot lately, but I just get so distracted. I promise I will pay more attention to you."_

"_Baby," Maureen smiled happily. _

"_How about this," Joanne said in her lawyer voice. "Every night we should put aside at least one hour or more, depending on the day. In that hour, we will just be together and do whatever we want. We can talk, watch a movie, eat dinner, go somewhere, or just be together."_

"_Really?" Maureen squealed. _

_Joanne nodded and held her hand out to Maureen. Maureen shook it, looking into her girlfriend's eyes._

"_Oh honeybear," Joanne laughed, leaning in to kiss Maureen. The two of them sat on the bed like that for sometime, knowing that their relationship was going to be alright and that they were going to make it after all._

"Yeah!" I squealed. "I am happy for you." I really was happy. True, I was a little upset that she said my relationship with Roger was beginning to collapse, but who was I to kill her fun? She deserved to be happy. Finally, the drama between the two of them had ceased. Well, for now.

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	6. So Does Mine

_Disclaimer: I don't own emotion, I RENT!_

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**So Does Mine**

(Mark's POV)

_February 10, 1991. 8:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Marcus!" Alexi Darling said firmly. I sat up quickly. I hadn't gotten much sleep last night. Mimi came home around dinner time and Roger and her insisted on playing music all night and singing. They even invited Angel and Maureen. Collins and Joanne probably got a good night's sleep, because they were home alone due to work in the morning. Which I also had! But no one seemed to care. They all kept telling me to dance with them and that I was a party pooper. In short, I was so tired at work today.

"Sorry," I mumbled.

"We need to talk about Ginger," Alexi said. Ginger was the newscaster for Buzzline and I had been doing a lot of filming with her. She was a little older than me. She had dark red hair that she re-dyed every other week. She had a deep voice, but when she was on camera she switched it to an annoying high-pitched voice like Alexi's.

"Okay," I said slowly.

"We are firing her. She isn't bringing in the reviews. I am going to be interviewing people and since you are my main cameraperson and my favorite," she winked at me and laughed annoyingly. "Just kidding. But you are an excellent cameraman. Anyway, you are going to help me interview them. Ginger's last segment is tonight. So, I need you to break the news to her. You are tight with her, right?"

No! I wasn't _tight_ with her. I hated her. She disgusted and annoyed me.

"Yea," I said feebly.

"Great," Alexi said, swinging a fist in the air across her body. "You are the best Mark."

Alexi patted my desk with her hand and left quickly, ushering loud _hellos _to all the people in the office.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, trying to prolong the task I had to go through with. I sighed and walked down the hall, smiling and nodding at my co-workers, who all knew me as the weird camera guy from the Lower East Village. Alexi must have told everyone to tolerate me though, because no one really gave me any crap. As much as that woman annoyed me, she made my stay here a little easier and I really do appreciate it.

I stood in front of Ginger's office. She had placed a star on it and wrote her name on the shiny gold plastic. It was so tacky I wanted to rip it into a million pieces and throw it at someone.

I knocked softly and heard a high-pitched and cheery "come in babe."

Oh great, she was in an acting mood. And why was she saying babe? She has no idea who it is? What if it was her father or someone who she hated? She was so screwed up.

I entered and her face lit up.

"Marky baby," she squealed. "How is my favorite cameraman?"

"A little nervous," I admitted.

"Why?" Ginger asked. "Oh my! Are you interviewing for somewhere else? I don't blame you. Buzzline is kind of becoming old news. I will still respect you if you leave."

Maybe this wouldn't be too hard.

"Oh," I said. "I am not leaving. But…..um……did you say Buzzline was getting to be old news?"

Ginger nodded and rolled her eyes. I sat down on the chair in front of her desk as she took a seat on the edge of her desk and crossed her arms, staring at me intently.

"Well," I continued. "I agree. Now, I am not leaving, because this is the best gig I have ever gotten. But I think there are so many more opportunities out there for you. Maybe you should leave while you are still fresh."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" she laughed.

"Actually that is exactly what I am doing," I said. "Alexi sent me to tell you that you are fired."

She stared at me blankly.

"You are an amazing newscaster and I completely respect and had an amazing time working with you," I added quickly.

"Are you serious?" she asked, her deep voice taking place of her fake high-pitched one.

"I'm sorry Ginger," I said. I stood up and went to give her a sympathetic hug. She swatted me away and jumped off her desk.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" she yelled. "WHO DOES ALEXI THINK SHE IS? BUZZLINE IS NOTHING WITHOUT ME. WHAT A FUCKER. I AM GOING TO KILL HER."

"I thought you said Buzzline was old news," I said.

"That is because two days ago Alexi told me she was letting someone from the main crew go. I assumed it was you. I was just talking crap to raise your damaged self-esteem," she cried.

Ginger picked up her phone and chucked it at the glass wall that looked out over the receptionist's area. Alexi, who had an office facing Ginger's, looked out her own window wall to see what the noise was. She saw Ginger's crazy face and she gave me a _"get the hell out of there" _look. Ginger saw Alexi and flipped her off screaming her name and how much she hated Alexi and how she was going to kill her in her sleep.

Alexi walked away from the window, sat down at her desk, and continued to work. Ginger began to cry.

I slowly left, muttering my apologies. I went back to my small desk and listened to Ginger continue to scream and throw things. Ten minutes later, she burst through her office doors, making many employees, who had gathered around the office to listen to the crazy woman, scatter.

"GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY," she roared, storming down the hall, knocking things off people's desk, with a brown cardboard box under her arm, which held her few belongings.

"BUZZLINE SUCKS," she screamed. "AND ALEXI IS GOING TO SCREW YOU ALL OVER. TRUST ME. YOU JUST WAIT."

With that, Ginger was in the elevator and screamed the whole way down.

There was an awkward silence in the office after that. Everyone still stood around, shocked. A few people whispered remarks about the scene that just took place.

Alexi came out of her office. She rubbed her hands on her skirt to smooth it out. She cleared her throat and looked at everyone standing around.

"Well," Alexi said smoothly. "She took that well."

Alexi broke into a fit of giggles, which made everyone else begin to laugh annoyingly and slap their knees and look at other people with pure glee.

All of it just made me want to throw up.

o o o o o

(Joanne's POV)

_February 10, 1991. 12:32 eastern standard time_

I was running late as I ran around the corner, headed for the Life Café. I was meeting my client today and even though I found the Life very unprofessional, it was the most practical meeting spot.

I looked at my watch. 12:32

I was supossed to be there at 12:30. How could this have happened? I will tell you why. I had spared a few extra minutes to spend with Maureen, not anticipating that my car's battery had died. Maureen just had to leave the light on. I cursed her off in my head. Why was she so scatter-brained.

I ran into the Café and gasped.

"Are you okay?" Peter asked me. Peter was the manager and host of the small restaurant.

"Is there an-" I stopped talking. What was her name? I couldn't remember. I wrote it down and left the paper on the counter. Crap!

"I seem to have forgotten her name," I said sweetly. "She is my client."

"A young woman came in a few minutes ago and said she was meeting someone," Peter said. "Her name was Erika."

"YES!" I practically yelled. "Erika was her name."

Peter brought me to Erika's table. The young girl stood up immediately. She had long pale blonde hair. She was very skinny and athletic looking. She was very beautiful, but there was something about her that seemed washed out. Maybe she had too much make-up on or maybe not enough. Maybe it was her skin color, which looked pasty or sick. Beyond all my scrutinizing of the young girl, there was no doubt she was a beauty queen.

"Hi, I'm Erika Haven."

"Joanne," I said. "Joanne Jefferson. I am so sorry I am late."

"No problem," Erika said. She sat down and I did as well.

"Do you live around here?"

"I am living in a side room of my cousin's house and she is praying I move out today."

I laughed. I would get annoyed if my cousins moved in too. "So you are new here. Are you looking for employment or are you already employed." I don't know why this question always came out of my mouth. The employment of other people intrigued me.

"I am looking at the moment. I have an interview set up for tomorrow for another job. I am praying I get it."

"Good luck! Well, let's get to work. So," I said. "Please explain your case to me as if I am hearing it for the first time." I wasn't lying. I was supposed to know this case, but I never read it. So, she could just think I was hearing it for the second time. Damn! My career is going down the drain. Why did I find that funny?

"Well," Erika said. "I used to be the head of the News 7 crew. I was loved and the reviews were amazing."

I nodded. I think I remembered her! She was very good. I used to watch her every morning. She said a month ago that she was leaving on account of a family sickness. It was a horrible loss to the company. I never knew that I was representing the same person, because on television, her news name was Haven E. I wondered why.

"Well," she continued. "If you ever watched, I replaced a man named Harry Burton. He was very good and talented as well, but went crazy when he heard a woman was replacing him. He is a sexist pig and was out to destroy my career. I was young and the sudden publicity overwhelmed me. So I turned to crack a few years ago. I went to rehab a few months ago and have been clean for five months. But Harry got a video of me using. I knew if he showed it, I would be ruined. But I was too proud to leave. He said that the video was his last resort. That didn't sound too good. So I began to fear for my career. One night I came home and my house was on fire. The fire fighters were already there, but they couldn't save it. I lost everything. I knew it was Harry, because a day before he told me my career was about to 'go up in flames.' I quit Channel 7 News and told him I would see him in court. Well, he is back in his old position. So, here I am, jobless, homeless, and prepared to lose this case."

I looked at her sadly. "I am so sorry."

"Joanne," she said, suddenly leaning forward and putting her hands on mine. She gripped them hard and looked at me with a hurt expression. "My life depends on winning this case."

"So does mine," I said.

_So does mine._

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_February 10, 1991. 5:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Tommy," I called.

Collins was sitting on the couch, going over some paperwork.

"Yeah Angel?" he asked, not looking at me.

"I can't help but feel sorry for Roger and Mimi."

"Why?" Collins asked surprised.

"They are so young and in love, but they always seem to be in the wrong places at the wrong times. I hate how they are always fighting."

"That boy needs to get a job and move out of the loft," Collins said.

"THAT'S IT!" I screamed.

I knew my Mimi chica was stuck between her love and her love's best friend, who has always been there for her and now may even have feelings for her. Putting the three of them under one leaky roof will produce a messed up love triangle.

"Whoa," Collins laughed.

"We can get Roger a job," I squealed. "I will look threw the papers and-"

"That boy is so lazy," Collins said. "Trust me. It will be a long time before he gets a job."

"Well, Mimi can convince him. She really could."

"You have too much good in you."

I smiled at Collins. He always made it seem like I was a saint. He was the real saint, though. I mean, hello, he came into my life. Well, more like fell down an alley into my life, but both ways he came into my life and made me feel loved and wanted.

"Oh Collins," I said. I sat on his lap and began to kiss him.

Why was he so perfect?

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_February 11, 1991. 7:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Mark," I heard sweetly in my ear. I sat up quickly and my head went smack into Mimi's.

"Ow," she laughed.

"Sorry," I said. I was so embarrassed. I am sitting in bed, in a pair of Roger's old sweat pants and a thermal shirt and I just hurt Mimi. "Are you hurt?"

"No," she laughed. "I just wanted to let you know that you overslept your alarm."

"Oh I'm sorry," I said standing up.

Mimi smiled and left the room. I heard her humming some tune in the kitchen. I quickly got dressed and threw my stuff into my camera bag. I walked out of my bedroom to find Mimi standing in the kitchen, standing near the hotplate.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Cooking," she said matter-of-factly. Her last entrée forced me to hug the toilet all night and vomit into it violently. I gulped loudly.

"Oh God," I said.

"Shut up Mark!" she laughed. "I am getting better. Do you want some?"

"I am not very hungry," I lied. "Why are you in such a good mood?"

Once I asked the question, I regretted it. I knew the answer would not excite me and would probably destroy my day.

"Roger," she said dreamily. "He told me last night that Angel talked to him. Well, anyway, he is going to go job hunting! Do you realize how good this is? More money will be coming in."

I nodded.

Mimi looked at me with sad eyes. "Smile Mark." She came up to me and hugged me and then looked at me giving me a goofy smile, which forced a smile out of me.

"Fine," I said. "I have to get to work though. I have a lot of interviews to listen to."

"Just think," Mimi said, obviously not hearing me. "Roger will be saying that to me soon."

"Bye Mimi," I said dryly. I grabbed my bike and rode quickly to the Buzzline building. I put my bike on a telephone pole and locked it up.

I hated the smell of the building in the morning. It was too cheery. I smelt the mixture of antibacterial cleaner and expensive perfume. The smell soaks into the rugs and walls and stays there till about 5 p.m. I gagged slightly and went to the elevator. A young girl ran at me and yelled "hold it!"

I looked at her, not comprehending what just happened. I watched her angry face as the doors closed and I ascended up. I could care less. I was so sick of being the guy who cared about everyone and took shit from all.

I watched the little white lights blink as I hit each floor. Once I was at the top, I stepped out and ran right into Alexi Darling. I seemed to be doing a lot of that today.

"Mark," she squealed. "I was just coming to find you. The interviews are starting. Please hurry."

I followed quickly and she brought me into the studio and sat me in the chairs where the directors usually sit. Alexi had on a headset.

"Okay Karl," Alexi said into the microphone on the headset. "Send in the first victim." She giggled at me and I smiled. She was taking this _way_ too seriously.

"Hi," said an older girl with short brown hair. She sat down at the desk where Ginger used to sit.

"Please read the words on the prompter doll," Alexi said.

The girl began to read and she was very good, but she was boring at the same time. There was nothing unique or exciting about her.

Alexi started writing things on her clipboard. She wrote _we want a younger appeal!_ She passed the clipboard to me and pointed at the statement with the end of her pen. I looked at her and nodded. I didn't want anyone younger, because that means they could replace me any moment. But I couldn't disagree with her. I was too exhausted.

"Thank you!" Alexi yelled. "We'll call you if you made it."

"She wasn't done," I said.

"Well," Alexi laughed. "We aren't going to pick her, so why waste our valuable interview time."

She adjusted the headset and screamed, "NEXT!"

A young man came in and sat down and began reading the same statement. He had a horrible southern accent and stuttered a lot.

"Thank you," I said, knowing he wasn't the one. It would also give me brownie points in the Alexi department.

"Excellent work Mark," Alexi smiled. "Next Karl."

They went through 10 more interviews. Alexi mostly was upset with the physical appearance. One girl had an asthma attack from talking too fast. I was getting impatient.

Finally, a young black haired girl sat down. Her hair was pin straight and her outfit was respectable and impressive at the same time. She smiled a big toothy white grin. Alexi was pleased immediately.

"Tell me dear," she said. "What did you work at before this?"

"I was a model," the girl said. She had that annoying valley girl high school voice, but Alexi wasn't phased by it.

She wrote on the clipboard and passed it to me. It read _models will get us great reviews. I think she is the one._

"Hold on sweetheart," Alexi said. "What was your name?"

"Kendra," the girl said, patting her hair.

"This is my cameraman Mark Cohen," Alexi said. "I am going to let him get back to work, because he has missed valuable filming time." Alexi then turned to me and began whispering. "You don't need to hear anymore. I am sure she will be perfect. I am going to need that documentary by tomorrow. I will notify you when we officially hire her. See you tomorrow!"

Great! She was back in boss mode. Now I had to work my ass off on the documentary that was not even close to being finished.

I walked out of the room and went to my desk to gather my stuff. I made my way to the elevator and heard the clacking of heels running behind me. I turned around to find Alexi, who was charging me and looked super pissed off.

"What is wrong?" I asked.

"We are not going to need that documentary by tomorrow," she said.

"Why?" I asked, secretly thrilled that I didn't have to do any work.

"Kendra was illiterate. How stupid is she to try out for a newscaster position if she can't read. She was the last person. I had two other people signed up, but they never showed. I don't know what to do. I need you to go home and get cleaned up. If no one gets hired by tonight, you are on tomorrow."

"ME?"

"You are the only one I trust in the office. And you are the only one who knows the material. I promise I will give you a raise until we find a permanent newscaster."

I expected her to apologize for the inconvenience, but she just told me to hurry up and get clean and be back here early in the morning. She then ran away, screaming for Karl.

I got into the elevator, freaking out. I had stage fright and I didn't want to go on national television! I got so carried away, that I didn't notice the elevator doors open. There was a girl running past me trying to catch it. I moved quickly and caught a glimpse of long pale colored hair and a dainty middle finger raised in my direction.

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	7. Don't Worry

I love writing Mimi, which is good, because I wrote a lot about her. I just don't like the Mimi characters who got to make out with Adam Pascal. Don't even get me started!

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**Don't Worry**

(Roger's POV)

_February 11, 1991. 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"SHUT UP!" Mimi squealed. I nodded and she jumped on me.

"I didn't even get the part yet!" I yelled.

"But you are amazing and I know you will get it," she said.

I had just told her about the position of a permanent band for live entertainment at the Life Café every weekend. I heard about it from Maureen who had called and yelled at me just as Mimi had. Why did girls have to scream when they got excited?

"What are you going to sing for tryouts?" she asked.

"Probably one of my old songs from the Well Hungarians," I said. "I can't sing anything I recently wrote, because they are all sad and slow."

"Oh," Mimi said. I knew she didn't like that period of my life, because April was in it. I knew it bothered her, but she needed to realize that I loved April, but that was the past.

"Yeah," I said, trying to break the awkward silence.

"Whatever you sing will be great," she smiled.

I kissed her and brought her cold hands up to my cheeks. She suddenly clutched her stomach.

"What is wrong?" I asked, concerned. I bent down to sit her back up, but she pulled away.

"I have had this stupid stomach ache all morning," she said. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"We should all go to the Life tonight to see your tryouts," she said, completely ignoring my question. I stared at her, clutching her stomach. "I will call everyone in a little bit."

I put my arm around her and didn't say anything. No one wanted to come to hear some old guy sing an old rock song. My friends won't care.

"And don't try and say they won't want to come see it, because they love and care about you," Mimi added. I stared at her in pure shock. I hated how she could read my mind, but loved it at the same time.

After a few minutes, she went to call everyone. I went to the window sill with my guitar and began to strum a few chords.

I began to sing. "This time, this place. Misued, mistakes. Too long, too late. Why didn't you wait for……."

I trailed off. I couldn't think of the rest of the song. I had gotten the beginning part after I found Mimi and Mark fucking each other. I thought the rest would come to me, but I had no other inspiration. Mimi and I were on good terms and that little incident was as far behind me as I could put it, without forgetting it.

"One chance, one breath, one more left………" I stopped singing. "What the fuck is wrong with me? That doesn't even make sense."

I started strumming Mussetta's Waltz and singing _Your Eyes_ softly.

I felt a pair of eyes on my back and I turned around quickly. Mimi was staring at me smiling. She had her arms crossed and was leaning against the couch.

"Keep going," she said.

"No," I laughed. "You're not supposed to eavesdrop on me."

"Hey," she laughed, coming to sit next to me. "I can listen when I want. I mean, that song was written for _me!_"

"That was a long time ago," I teased.

"Yes," she rolled her eyes. "Three months is just forever ago. I thought that song was special to you and made you think of me."

"I am always thinking of you," I reminded her, putting down my guitar and facing her.

"That is more like it," she said, raising her nose in the air.

I laughed and hugged her. I began to kiss her. Then, her hands roamed up my shirt and……..

"Stop," she said, pulling away. She ran away from me and into the bathroom. I heard loud sounds of barfing.

"Meems," I said. "MEEMS!"

I hated when she went into the bathroom and closed the door. The last time that happened, it didn't end well. I could've kicked down the door if I wanted to, but I knew she needed her privacy. It still scared and bothered me though.

I waited by the door and about 10 minutes later she came out. She looked refreshed and she was smiling.

"Are you okay?" I asked quickly.

"Yeah," she said. "I just haven't been feeling good lately."

"Do you still want to go to the Life?" I asked.

"Of course! I wouldn't miss it for anything."

"Then I will go get ready. I still need to tune my guitar a little and get ready. Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"Stop worrying," she complained, bouncing away from me and into the kitchen area.

But I did worry. I was very worried.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_February 11, 1991. 7:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I sat down at the Life, watching Roger talking to the manager. I was praying he would get the job. A few people were going to try out and then the best would form a band. I knew he would do great, but a part of me was worried. He hadn't performed in a long time. I suddenly felt a pair of hands on my eyes.

I grabbed them and turned around, thinking it was Angel, but instead saw Maureen.

"Hey Mo," I said. "Where is Joanne?"

"She is at work. Apparently, she had some meeting."

I smiled and the two of us began talking. I thanked her for letting Roger know about the audition. I looked out the window behind Maureen's back and watched the people passing the window. I looked down and saw Joanne and-

Wait! Joanne? She was sitting at a table in the corner, talking to a young blonde girl. I was shocked.

"Maureen," I said slowly. "Don't flip out, but I see Joanne behind you."

"Behind me?" Maureen asked, shocked. She turned around and turned back to me with a fire in her eyes.

"Maureen," I whispered fiercely. "Don't do it."

"At a meeting my ass," Maureen yelled angrily.

She ran over there and grabbed the back of Joanne's chair and yanked it out roughly. I stood up to get a better view and I was joined by half of the café.

"You said you were fucking at a meeting," Maureen yelled. "But you are cheating behind my back with this little skanky ass slut!"

"Maureen," Joanne said sternly. "Let me explain-"

"DON'T EVEN," Maureen said. "WE MADE A PROMISE AND YOU BROKE IT. I AM LOOKING AT YOU! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. YOU ARE A CHEATING, LIEING, FUCKING-"

"Miss Johnson," the girl said, standing up. "I heard so much about you. I am Erika Haven. Joanne is my lawyer."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU OR YOUR CHEATING PROSTITUTE LIFE AND………" Maureen trailed off. "What did you say?"

"Honeybear," Joanne laughed. "I am _not_ cheating on you. This is Erika. I am representing her in court."

Maureen turned away, bright red with embarrassment. "That is all you better be representing her for," she mumbled. She walked away and Joanne and Erika followed her.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Joanne, holding back laughter.

"I had a meeting with my client," Joanne said, pointing to Erika. Then she turned to Maureen. "_Someone _didn't tell me that everyone would be here."

"Look!" Maureen exclaimed. "I am sorry. It is an honest mistake."

Erika laughed and sat down at the table with us.

I stared at the girl sitting across from me. I was wondering how old she was, when I just decided to blurt it out.

"How old are you?"

"22," she said. "And you?"

"20," I responded.

She nodded and looked down at the floor. She was very pretty. She had long pale blonde hair and dark green eyes. She was taller than me and very skinny. There was something about her that seemed washed out though. It might have been her makeup, like, if she had on too much or too little of it. It might have just been her skin color or the lighting, but she had a pasty look, as if she was sick. But she wasn't sick. It was hard to explain. Almost as if she had been through too much and it had taken years off of her extravagant life. There was no doubt though that at one point she was a beauty queen.

It made me jealous. Growing up, I felt ugly and unwanted because I was Spanish. I always felt so horrible due to my nationality. Once I was older, part of it went away. But another part will always be there and Erika was bringing that unwanted and lower class moment back to my memory.

"Where is my Marky?" Maureen asked, changing the subject.

"I don't know," I said. "He said he would come if he didn't have work in the morning, which there was a chance that he wouldn't."

Maureen pouted. "The group feels so small."

"That is because I am not here!" announced a loud voice. I turned around and saw Angel, who was followed by Collins. I smiled and ran to greet her.

Angel hugged me and went to the table that was slowly, but surely filling up. Collins sat down too and pointed at Erika.

"I don't know you," he pointed out bluntly. Erika blushed and nodded.

"Have you been cheating again chica?" Angel asked Maureen.

"I HAVE NOT!" Maureen yelled, standing up.

"Sit down Mo," Joanne said calmly. "This is my client Erika. She is going to be dining with us."

"I am Tom." Collins said. Then he added, "Collins."

"I am Angel," Angel said, making her name sound dramatic. "And you are a very pretty little girl."

I laughed. Angel always felt the urge to give people compliments. Erika blushed and said a small thank you.

I stood up and went over to Roger, who was tuning his guitar in the corner.

"Hey pretty boy," I said.

He smiled at me and put down his guitar.

"I told myself I wouldn't have sexual relations with groupies," Roger teased. I loved it when he made jokes at me. I pretended to be offended to receive his sympathy. He bent down and kissed me and I smirked at him.

"So who is that?" Roger asked pointing to Erika.

"Joanne is representing her in court," I replied.

"She is pr-"

Roger stopped talking and looked away from me.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing," he said innocently.

How could Roger say that? She was _not_ pretty. Well, she was, but I thought I was the only girl for him. Before I could say anything else, Roger pointed to something behind my head.

"Don't change the subject," I said, smacking him in the stomach.

"Ow," he said. "I am just letting you know Mark is here!"

I turned around and sure enough Mark had walked through the door with his camera in his hand. I looked back behind me at Roger, but he was gone, over by the other people trying out.

I laughed and went back to the table.

"Marky!" Maureen yelled. Mark waved and started to sit down, but abruptly stopped when he saw Erika.

"You're…..you're….." he stuttered in horror, pointing at her. "You're….."

Erika nodded and stuck up her middle finger at Mark and smirked angrily.

"Whoa!" Collins yelled.

"What the fuck?" I yelled, not realizing I had even opened my mouth. I stepped forward, but Mark surprisingly put a hand out to me, stopping me.

"I……I…..I don't know what to say," he said, sitting down and looking at the ground.

"Yeah," she said quietly. There was a long awkward silence that Angel happily broke.

"I don't mean to be rude, but how do y'all know each other?" she asked, crossing her legs and leaning her back onto Collins.

Erika looked at Mark.

"We really don't know each other," Erika said slowly.

"We kind of ran into each other," Mark laughed.

"He didn't hold the elevator for me," she said.

"Well," Mark protested. "I was in a rush and it was too late to hold it for you."

"No it wasn't!" she squealed. "Besides, I was late too!"

Mark blushed.

"I'm sorry," he said. I wanted to laugh. It seemed like Mark was a small boy and forced by his mother to apologize.

"It's okay," she said, smiling. Ew! Why was she here? I still had no idea.

"What were you doing at Buzzline anyway?" Mark asked.

"Interview," she said. "I was late though, as you know. But anyway, I ended up getting it. I barely read anything. I came in read one sentence and the lady, Alexi practically screamed at me and told me I for the job. I was shocked."

"Really?" Mark laughed. "Well, I am Mark Cohen and your new cameraman."

Her eyes grew wide. "Erika Haven," she said. "Alexi was telling me that it was rude of you not to be there."

"You'll get that a lot from her," Mark laughed. "She likes to blame a lot on other people and pretend she is perfect. I had been given the okay to go."

Erika laughed. Before the two of them could finish their sickenly annoying conversation, the lights dimmed slowly. Everyone began clapping and I sat down in between Mark and Angel. A man got up to the microphone and held his hand up to stop the clapping.

"Hello," he said loudly. "And welcome to the Life auditions. I am former rocker Gerry Bruce." A loud group of people screamed his name. "I am the head judge and am joined by the owner of this lovely Café Pete." I laughed as Collins whistled. Pete raised his hand, with his back still to the diners. He obviously did not want to be there. "And we also have New York's very own talent scout, Neil Yorner." A tall, skinny man with a sharp and clean cut suit stood up. He had gel in his sleek black hair. He faced all of us and stroked his black goatee with a sneaky smile on his lips. Then he sat down once the clapping ceased.

"Without further ado," Gerry continued. "Let us begin the auditions. We have about 20 men and women trying out and when I call their numbers, they will come up and sing for the judges. Please be kind and support all of our auditioners."

Gerry stepped away from the microphone and took his seat, in between Pete and Neil. The first one got up and sang a song. I was looking for Roger, but I couldn't find him. I watched a few more people, but then lost track and stopped paying attention.

"Calm down," Collins whispered. "He will do fine."

I knew he would, but I needed to be there for him. I was his girlfriend! I didn't even wish him good luck. I felt horrible. I stood up, with intentions of going to find him and give him a quick _good luck_ kiss, but then Gerry yelled, "12!"

With that, Roger got onto the stage. I sat back down and smiled, giving him a small wave. Collins, Maureen, and Angel screamed his name and said how much they loved him. He did his famous rock star grin to them. Then, he leaned into the microphone and said smoothly, "this is for you Mimi."

I felt a bunch of my friends pat my back or hug me, but I wasn't paying attention. I could not believe he just said that. Through the whole song, which was called _This Girl_, I was staring at him and smiling. He did everything perfectly and didn't let his stare leave my eyes. At the end, everyone stood up, pulling me with them. We all screamed and called his name. The whole situation was an out of body experience. I couldn't move or breath.

About 20 minutes later, Gerry got back up to the microphone.

"This usually doesn't happen, but we have come to a conclusion. We each had a favorite and put them all together. Pete's favorite was the young man who sang the sonnet, which was really good. Please welcome our first member of the Life's band, Jimmy Killder."

We all clapped. I remembered him. He was kind of a dork and his song was really cheesy but he had a nice soprano voice. He came onto the stage, with a big goofy grin.

"The next, is Neil's favorite, who used to be New Jersey's favorite wedding singer," Gerry said. There was a loud yell from the side of the stage and a guy with a black muscle shirt on and blonde spiky hair ran onto the stage. He flexed his muscles and gave everyone a bad ass look. "This is Jase Terken, who did a kick ass job with his heavy metal song. So, he is the second member of the Life band."

"He is cute chica," Angel whispered to me. He was very attractive and he kept smiling at me, but I was too concerned with Roger to notice.

"Finally," Gerry said. "My favorite, is apparently a local. He sang a classic song from an older band and I loved it. So, the last member is old school rocker, Roger Davis!"

I don't know what happened, but I screamed and jumped up on the table, followed by everyone in our group. We all chanted his name and jumped around.

"I guess you guys are regulars here," Gerry teased over the microphone. I saw Pete roll his eyes. Roger, Jase, and Jimmy all spoke to Pete, Gerry, and Neil about their new job. I saw all the other upset hopefuls leave reluctantly, almost hoping that if they stayed, they would become noticed and get the job. Most of the people left the restaurant and we finally ordered our dinner.

I was taking a bite out of my miso soup when I felt two strong arms wrap themselves around me. I grabbed them and looked up. I saw Roger's smiling face look down at me.

"Roger," I squealed, turning around. I hugged him and kissed his smack on the lips. "Baby you were so good."

"Thanks hun," he said, picking me up and taking my seat, replacing myself on his lap. I wrapped my arms around him and then Roger saw Erika.

"Who are you?" he asked, pointing at the girl who had been sitting with us as if she was family. I knew he knew who she was. I had told him already! Was he using it as an excuse to talk to her?

"Erika Haven," she said, holding out a skinny hand. "Joanne is representing me in court and I just got a job at Buzzline and Mark is my cameraman."

"Small world," Roger muttered.

"You were amazing," she said, complementing _my _boyfriend!

"Really?" he asked quickly. I looked at him in shock and he cleared his throat. "I mean….thanks," he added with a confident air.

"Drinks all around!" Angel yelled.

"To Roger!" I said, kissing him on the cheek.

"To Roger!" everyone yelled, raising their first round of glasses. I knew it wouldn't be our last.

* * *

**El Fin!**

Just kidding! Read and Review please!


	8. New Emotions

Didn't realize how long the gaps between my updating were. Sorry! Anyway, wireless connection in my house works, so it will be easier to update. Here is the 8th chapter.

_Disclaimer: I have a medical disorder called Obsessive Compulsive RENT Disorder_

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**New Emotions**

(Erika's POV)

_February 11, 1991. 11:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

I looked around at all the drunken people. Angel was dancing on the table with Maureen, who was singing loudly. Joanne kept taking large sips from her glass. Collins was leaning far back in his chair, laughing to himself. Mimi was still sitting on Roger, who was laughing and yelling at Maureen. I saw her trying to get his attention by kissing him and whining.

I could tell this girl hated me. I felt it the moment I walked in. Perhaps she thought I was going to steal her boyfriend? The thought is crazy! I just met everyone. I have no……

I looked up and saw Mark, looking at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing," he said. "Did I tell you I was sorry?"

"Yes," I said. "About a hundred times."

Mark looked around at everyone. He didn't look too drunk and I knew I was only a little tipsy. It was weird, being the only somewhat sober ones out of the group. It made me feel like we were alone.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked.

I nodded and followed him out of the restaurant into a side alley. It was cold out and we just sort of stood there for a moment.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

I couldn't tell him the whole story, so I cut it short. "I am living in my cousin's apartment, much to her dismay." Then it hit me. No I wasn't! When I told her I was working at Buzzline she said that it wasn't a _real _job and that I needed to find something with more backbone. She kicked me out and now I am homeless. I had left my stuff at her house and was told to pick it up by tomorrow morning or she would burn it.

"Scratch that," I said. "She kicked me out this morning."

"Are you serious?" Mark had the utmost sympathy in his face and voice. "I am so sorry."

"It isn't your fault."

"Where are you staying tonight then?" Mark asked.

"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I'll be fine though."

"Please," Mark said. "Stay with us. I live in a loft in the Lower East Village area. Roger and Mimi have a room and I stay in the other one. We have a spare, but it is kind of filled up with stuff, but we have a couch that is pretty comfortable. You can sleep there."

He said the whole thing fast, almost screaming it.

"I don't know," I said. "Mimi doesn't seem to like me and I don't want to intrude on her and Roger."

"Mimi loves you!" Mark said, obviously having no idea what he was talking about. "Don't pay attention to them. It will be fun. Besides, I need help getting these drunks home. And I don't see anyone else who is somewhat sober around here."

Mark was acting so comfortable around me. I loved it. Most guys go straight for sexual pleasures with me, but not Mark. Maybe he will be my first guy who is a friend. Maybe this could work out!

"For one night," I said.

"Promise?" he asked, blushing and laughing.

"Promise," I said. I put my hands in my jean pockets, but they barely fit, because the jeans were too tight, so I rubbed them together and blew on them.

"Are you cold?"

"No," I replied. "Just my hands."

"Here," he said. He took my hand is his hand and started rubbing it. I don't think he even realized what he was doing. My hands did feel warmer. Then, suddenly he let go. "I am sorry! I was just trying to warm them up…..I…..I…..I didn't realize. I mean……I wasn't paying attention…..and….."

"It's fine," I said. "Come on let's go back inside."

Mark followed me back into the Café. A part of me still wanted to be outside with him though, holding his hands in mine.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_February 12, 1991. 7:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I honestly couldn't sleep. I mean, last night! How could you sleep with the night I had last night? It is all too crazy. I felt like such an idiot for grabbing her hand last night. I am so stupid. I wasn't even thinking. Mimi was pissed that I brought her home last night, but she was too drunk to say anything.

I woke up very early that day, before work started. I went out to the living room and saw Erika wrapped in the big, coffee stained blanket, on the couch. I smiled and stared at her for a moment. She was so peaceful when she was sleeping. It was like an angel. I was going to reach down to wake her up, but I was interrupted by a loud gagging noise in the bathroom.

I ran over there and put my ear to the door. There was someone on the other side, who was breathing heavily and gagging violently. Then, it all stopped and I heard quiet sobs that gradually grew louder. It was Mimi. I went to knock on the door, but the doorknob began to turn. Before I could react, she opened the door, wiping her mouth.

"Mark!" she said surprised. "What are you doing up?"

"I need to get ready for work," I said quickly and nervously.

"Oh," she said. "How long were you here?"

"Not long," I lied. "I just went to knock on the door to use it, when you opened it."

"I wasn't feeling good," she said. "Sorry to make you wait."

"Not at all! You didn't make me wait! You were fine!"

There, she had said it. She wasn't feeling good. The topic was off the table almost as fast as it had come up. So, now I didn't have to worry about it. But why was I still worried?

"What is she doing here?" Mimi asked, pointing to Erika.

"She needed a place to stay," I said. "I couldn't leave her on the streets."

"A little street living never hurt anyone Mark," she said sharply, walking back into the bedroom she shared with Roger. I sighed and went into the bathroom.

As I was shaving, I smelt a captivating fragrance. It was a rare smell in this house. It was _good _coffee. We usually have the cheap, crappy brand.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Erika standing in the kitchen, making coffee.

"How do you do that?" I asked. She jumped and turned to face me. She smiled and her face began growing red.

"Sorry," she said. "I thought it was the least I could do for you since you gave me a place to stay last night. I noticed you are using a cheap brand. At a diner I used to work at, they taught us a trick on how to make it taste better. I figured I would make some for you."

Roger came out of the bedroom in his boxers. He stretched and all his muscles tightened and gleamed in the cold, horrible lighting. I wanted to shoot him. Why did he have to have a body and a charm that all girls loved?

"What is that?" he mumbled, yawning.

"Erika made coffee," I said.

"It smells amazing!" Roger smiled.

"Thanks," she said. "It is the least I can do."

Roger turned on his heel, to go back to the bedroom, when he stopped near me and whispered, "Keep her around Marky. She is the only one in the whole of Lower East Village who knows how to make a decent cup of coffee."

I grinned and watched him retreat back to his room. I turned to her and clapped my hands together uncomfortably.

"We can walk to your cousin's house to get your stuff, before we go to work," I suggested. She nodded eagerly and thanked me. I went to get my camera bag and the two of us set off into the cold.

She was quiet the whole way and I just followed her, watching the streets get cleaner and the homeless people get scarcer as we walked along.

"Where does your cousin live?" I asked after a while.

"The 23rd floor of an apartment coming up," she smiled, pointing ahead. I saw where she was pointing. It was a big white apartment building with a doorman and bushes in the front that spelt out **Cyber Art Studio Homes**. There were matching flowers growing on either side of the long walk way.

"Hi again," Erika said to the doorman. He was an older looking man with white hair poking out from under his maroon hat that matched his jacket and pants.

"Your cousin requests that you not to be here," he said winking at her.

"It's early," Erika laughed. "She will still be asleep."

Erika motioned for me to follow her into the lobby, onto the elevator, and up to the 23rd floor. There was a loud ding when we reached it and she slowly walked down to a big door. She reached up into one of the lamp's that were lining the hallway and pulled out a key.

"I know where her husband keeps the spare," Erika stated.

I laughed and she brought a long and bony finger up to her lip. She put the key in the lock and turned the knob slowly. She then tiptoed into the apartment. It was the fanciest thing I have ever seen. It had wall to wall white carpets. When you first walk in there is a long hallway and at the end of it, a big living room with a black leather couch and glass tables. There is a big screen television against the wall and a wooden bookcase filled with tons of books in the opposite corner next to a black leather arm chair. The chair is placed right next to the balcony which overlooks the grounds. Above the chair was a large frame with a small picture light above it, shining light on the portrait of a dog. To the left of this room is big kitchen with a refrigerator bigger than my bed and tons of other stainless steel appliances. Behind the kitchen is another hallway with doors on either side. I supposed they were the bedrooms, which were probably ten times better than the house. To the right, Erika walked down these two steps that led to a pair of brown wood double doors. She slid them open and revealed a quiet room to the side.

"This is the _basement_," she said, using her fingers as quotation marks.

It was a large room that was decorated in a Caribbean blue color. The bed was in the center of the room with a large blue bedspread that had a giant white circle in the middle that matched the carpets. There was a desk off to the side that had a book lying open under a fancy office lamp. A television was on the shelf above the desk. There was a music player in the corner that had a few records and C.D.'s lying in a shelf. At the foot of the bed was a trunk. Erika opened it and pulled out a purple duffle bag. She grabbed the book and a few C.D.'s and shoved them in among the clothes and other necessities.

"Is that it?" I asked.

She nodded and ripped a piece of paper of a pad that was hanging on the fridge. She got a pen from a drawer and scribbled the words:

_**I am gone now. So you can start rejoicing you selfish bitch. Call me if you get some sense of respect or a nose job. Love Er**_

"Is she really that bad?" I asked.

Erika's eyes grew wide and she nodded. There was a noise of a door opening at the end of the hallway, so she grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the apartment before trouble arose. All I could think about was her hand in mine.

What is going on with me?

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_February 12, 1991. 1:20 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was sitting on the couch, watching the television that Collins had given us a month ago. No one had touched it, but today, I was bored and in a good mood, so I put it together.

The door opened and Mimi walked in, with mascara running down her eyes. I really didn't notice, though, which made the situation so much worse.

"Hi Meems," I said. "Look I got the T.V. working."

"Fuck you," she said.

"Whoa! What did I do?"

She collapsed on the couch next to me and began crying.

I pulled her into me and stroked her hair. "What happened? Did you get fired?"

She punched me in the side of the stomach, which made me flinch and say "Ow!"

"Shut up!" she yelled. "You are so selfish."

"Tell me what happened then!" I yelled. I hated when she got all moody like this.

"Work," she mumbled.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked slowly.

She nodded. I waited for her to start talking. I opened my mouth again and she snapped, "Give me a minute!"

I removed my arm from around her and looked at the television until I heard her sigh. I knew she wanted me to look at her.

"Ready?" I asked.

"Yes," she snapped. Then she went into her story.

"_Marquez!" screamed the manager of the Cat Scratch club. "I need to talk to you."_

_Mimi sighed and stood up. She was sitting on the stage with her co-workers and stretching her legs as one of the girls counted to ten. It reminded her so much of her days playing soccer and how everyone used to want to lead the counting as they stretched. _

_She followed the manager into his office. His name was Cyrus Hays. He was a nice man, who was always laughing and had a cigar in between his lips. He had brown, short hair and a clean shaven face. His father owned the club, so he walked around the place like royalty, until his father stopped by, which is when he would act all modest and follow his father's every rule._

_He sat down in his leather chair behind his desk and Mimi took a seat on the hard chair in front of him. He stroked his chin and looked out his window that gave a perfect view of the stage and audience. He leaned back and put his ankle on his opposite knee._

"_Miss Marquez," he said. "I rely on looks and talents for the income of my business. Correct?"_

"_Correct," Mimi said slowly._

"_I always knew you were sharp," he joked. "In all honesty though, I am worried about you."_

"_What do you mean?"_

_A few weeks ago, the club had gotten male dancers, who danced with the strippers. They learned an intense and complicated dance. Mimi felt that she mastered it well. For one, she was the first one done learning it. And two she was the best dancer, hands down. Everyone knew it, even her. So why was Cyrus concerned? _

"Wait," I interrupted. "What do you mean by _male _dancers?"

"I mean that guys were added to the Friday night shows only. Cyrus wanted the club to broaden their horizons and work on more complicated and co-ed dances."

"I don't know if I approve of this," I said. "I mean, I don't want you dancing around half-naked with some guy."

"Okay _dad_," she teased. "Trust me; there is nothing to worry about. My partner is a disgusting, pompous pig. I have no attraction to him what-so-ever. Now, can I continue?"

"I guess."

"_What I mean," Cyrus continued. "Is that I had a complaint from Raul that concerned me."_

_Raul was Mimi's Spanish dance partner. He had short spiky brown hair. Mimi was always annoyed by the way he dressed. He would always wear tight pants that put a spotlight on his disgusting butt muscles. He cut all his shirts and sweatshirts, to show off his muscles, which were oddly shaped. All the other girls loved him and his "mysterious" way of doing things. Mimi hated him. He spent his time complaining and would yell at her non-stop. When he picked her up, he would mumble comments under his breath and make fun of her. Also, when he didn't get his way, he would storm out of the club and come back 10 minutes later, pretending nothing happened. Mimi and him always fought and despised each other._

"_Well," Mimi said. "Don't take it too seriously. He hates me, so anything he says-"_

"_He says that you seem to be not focusing lately. I seem to notice it too. You always seem pale and sick and like you are spacing. You used to be the best. Always focused and bringing in the dough!"_

"_And I still am the best!" Mimi protested. "I was probably just having an off day."_

"_Another thing," Cyrus said. "One of rules at the club was never brought to your attention, because it never concerned you, but all dancers need to be no more than 115 pounds. It used to be 110, but my father made me raise it."_

"_That is fine, last time I weighed myself I was exactly 110."_

"_Which is excellent, but Raul disagrees. He says it is getting harder and harder to lift you and he can feel some flab in your sides when he holds your waist. This is not sexy and will not be tolerated."_

"_Are you kidding me? He is just being-"_

"_There is only one way to prove it," Cyrus said slowly. He pointed to the scale in the corner of the room. Mimi looked at it. She had heard of it, but never thought it was true. She thought it was a false threat that was used to scare new girls._

"_You mean….."_

_Cyrus nodded. Mimi felt degraded and angry as she walked over to the scale and took off her shoes. She stepped onto the scale and held her breath. At the same time she felt sticky warm breath on the back of her neck._

"_Let us see," slithered Cyrus. He adjusted a few weights and then all was silent. He clicked his teeth and sighed. Mimi opened one eye and saw the weight._

"What was it?" I asked.

"117!" Mimi screamed. "How could this have happened?"

"Did you lose your job?" I asked, scared of the answer.

"No," she said slowly. "He said I have to get back to 110 by the end of the week though."

There was silence.

"You have been getting sick a lot," I pointed out. "How come you haven't lost anything?"

Mimi stood up angrily. "I don't know Roger," she said fiercely. "Sorry I am not perfect like your skinny little April."

"Whoa!" I yelled. "This has nothing to do with her."

"Oh please," she whined. "It always had to do with her. And you know it!"

With that, she stormed into the bathroom, where she proceeded to throw up.

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**Read and Review if you want more!**


	9. Hell Yes!

This is probably the only chapter I am posting for the long weekend. We have Monday off. I am going to work on the Without You I Die series. So read it if you are bored. This chapter will end with a closure, so you won't really be waiting on a cliffhanger. But it is not the end of the story.

p.s. I hate boys!

* * *

**Hell Yes!**

(Angel's POV)

_February 14, 1991 12:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was standing at the front door, watching Tom walk down the front walk on his way to the subway. NYU was calling and taking him away from me, just like it did every morning. I really needed a job. Everyone had one! Well, except for Maureen, but she doesn't count in the business department.

I went back into the kitchen and made myself a piece of toast and ate it, while listening to the music flowing out of our neighbor's window. It was some old classic stuff, but it still sounded good. As I took the last bite, I missed and bit my cheek. I ran to the bathroom, with tears in my eyes, and began putting ice cold water in my mouth and dabbing the cut with a tissue. I stared at the blood in disgust.

Just as I was about to get another tissue, the phone rang. I cursed and went to find it. I had a feeling it was Tom, calling from a payphone, but when I said hello, Tom was not on the other end. your skinny little April." a lot," of the week though."l was silent. He clicked his teeth and sighed. Mimi opened one eye and sa

"Is Angelo there?" asked the voice. I froze. I couldn't speak.

"He…..he…..he is not here," I stuttered. "Can I take a message?"

"Tell him Rufus is back in town and that he really wants to see him," said the voice. There was silence and then the phone clicked.

I ran out of the house and down the street as fast as I could. How did this happen? I couldn't even think. He was still alive? I ran and ran, until I reached the loft. I ran upstairs, expecting it to be empty. I just needed to get away from my apartment incase he called back. I opened the door and threw myself onto the couch and started breathing deeply and crying.

Then, there was a sound from the bathroom. It was a gagging and crying sound. I turned around and clutched the edge of the couch peeking my eyes over the top, but keeping my body hidden. I held my breath, until the toilet flushed and the door opened.

"CHICA!" I screamed half excited and half startled. She jumped and brought her hand up to her chest.

"Ah Dios mio!" Mimi cried. "Que es tu problema?"

"Lo siento," I laughed. I looked at her and something registered. "Por que eres tu aqui?"

"Oh…..I……I…..needed a day off from work. Don't feel good and Roger said I could. I called the manager and…..yeah….."

"Oh," I said. I wanted to tell her about my morning, but I stopped again. "Can I talk to you?"

"Por que?" she asked, sitting down next to me.

"Um….it is about you," I said. "Are you alright? You haven't been looking to good lately."

"Oh," Mimi said. "I am fine. I just have a stomach ache."

"You have had that for like a week chica," I replied. "You can tell me what is wrong."

Mimi took a deep breath. She told me how she had started feeling sick after her and Roger got back together and that she was throwing up a lot. But all the vomiting was making her gain weight. She said it was weird, because she rarely gains a lot of weight. She then told me about what her manager said and how she got nervous and began to eat less, but she was still gaining weight.

"I heard of a disease where you gain weight and lose it rapidly," I suggested. "Maybe you have that."

"No," Mimi said. "I don't think I do. You are born with that kind of thing and this is all so random."

"Well maybe……….wait……….ARE YOU BULIMIC?" I screamed.

She put her lips to her mouth and clutched my shoulder, as if she was afraid someone would here. Realizing no one was home, she loosened up a bit.

"I have just had a few little cases of vomiting. Not bulimic though!"

"Mimi! Tu eres muy estupida! Por que tu vas y esta mal a tu cuerpo? Yo estoy muy triste para tu. Por favor no-"

"STOP!" she yelled. "I am not harming my body and it was only once or twice and-"

"AZT!" I yelled. "You haven't been taking it! Do you realize what-"

"Angel!" she said calmly. "I have been cutting down on food and stuff for work. Do you want me to be unemployed? Is that your wish? Well, my boss said to cut down. A few days will not hurt me. I promise. I have gone without it for a few days and-"

"And it put you on your death bed!"

There was an awkward silence.

"Can you just believe me?" she whispered. "I need to do this."

"No you don't," I laughed.

"I just….I will be fine………I……"

"If it gets worse I am taking you to the doctors," I said firmly. "So start taking your AZT Mimi. Please."

Mimi looked at me and smiled sadly.

She wasn't going to take it and she was going to keep throwing up, I knew that, but maybe a doctor would get it through her thick skull about how stupid the choice she was making was. I wished she wouldn't be so independent. Or maybe that is _why_ I loved that crazy chica.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_February 15, 1991 2:13 p.m. eastern standard time_

2:13. The clock said 2:13. Two more minutes and she would come down the hallway. It had been the same routine for 3 days, because that is how long she had been working here. She loved it here and everyone loved her. Especially Alexi, who is thanking herself and saying that she is the reason we are getting so many good ratings. Talk about modest…..

12:14. One more minute. Why was I so excited? I should be focusing on work. No, I can't with her coming. She would walk by my desk, put her hand on it, and tell me about how she was so grateful to be working here, and then she told me when we were filming. Then, she said she would see me later and she walked away. She ended up bringing her stuff to Maureen and Joanne's apartment, because it was the biggest place. We met halfway and walked to work, which is weird, because I am used to riding my bike. It is crazy how much we talk about. I feel so comfortable around her, it is crazy.

12:15. Where is she? Did she forget, does she hate me? That is it! I freaked her out and now she doesn't want to be seen with me. She probably has a boyfriend. How could I be so stupid, how could I………….

There was a soft and delicate hand with long fingernails on my desk. I looked up and saw Erika.

"Hey," she smiled. "You look like you have just seen a ghost."

"Nope," I gulped. "How is your day?"

"Crazy," she said. "I have so much to do. Thanks again for being so supportive of me on my 3 days of work." She laughed and then removed her hand. "Well, I have to go, but I guess I will see you later."

"Bye," I said. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! I should have said something, anything. Instead I just sat there and looked like an idiot. I hate myself. Ugh! She didn't even tell me when we were filming. Did she get a new cameraman? She must not like my work. Maybe she feels uncomfortable. Maybe she is still mad about me closing the elevator on her.

"I didn't mean to," I mumbled.

"Didn't mean to what?"

I looked up and Erika was there….again! I didn't even hear her come back. She blushed and looked at the ground.

"Ummm…." she said. 'We film at 3." She started to walk away, but stopped. "What are you doing tonight?"

"Nothing," I said.

"Do you want to get something to eat later?" she asked.

"Where?"

"I don't know."

"Like on a date?" I gulped.

She perked up a bit and nodded. She had her back to me and I swear I could see the smile right through her face.

"Is that okay with you?"

"OF COURSE!" I yelled, a little too loudly. "I will pick you up at 7 at the corner."

"Life Café?" she asked.

"Sounds good."

"See you then," she rushed away.

"Bye," I said. When she was out of ear range, I jumped out of my seat and punched the air, saying _yes! _I kept saying it over and over again; catching attention from passerby's who smiled.

I did this out of pure excitement, not knowing that down the hall, Erika was dancing in place and throwing her hands up in the air and saying _yes!_

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_February 15, 1991 6:55 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Hot date?" Maureen asked me as I got dressed in their guest room.

"Is it that obvious?" I giggled. I was standing in front of the dusty mirror in the corner and staring at my reflection. I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans and a lavender colored sweater that had extra long sleeves, which covered my hands and was long, stopping right before my butt.

"Do you know what would look so cute with that?"

"What?" I asked, thinking she would say something stupid or perverted.

Maureen ran out of the room and came back with a small box.

"Here," she said. "This was an old gift from my x-boyfriend. You can have it. It is really pretty, but not my style."

I took the box and opened it. Inside the box was a hair clip with lavender and light pink rhinestones all over it, making a sweet and simple design. It was perfect.

"Wow Mo," I gasped. I pulled a chunk of my hair behind my ear and clipped it with my new gift. I smiled in the mirror and then hugged her. Then, I did a little pompous twirl and walked away from Maureen.

"Wait!" she yelled. "Who is the lucky guy?"

"No one special," I lied. "Be back later tonight."

"Tell me all about it when you get back!" Maureen squealed.

I walked out of the apartment and down the street. I was looking at the ground and taking deep breaths. Why was I nervous? Mark was just a really good friend. I shouldn't be nervous. I mean, come on! It was Mark, the guy who I had known for like 5 days and who I bonded with instantly. He was like the best friend I never had. I don't know. It is hard to explain.

"_Like on a date?" _kept ringing through my head. Did I come on too strong? He must think I am so immature. Why would he even say yes?

I continued to walk with my head hanging down, and suddenly, I ran right into someone who was walking in front of me.

"Sorry, sorry," I mumbled, looking up. The guy pushed past me with an angry look on his face. I gave him a nasty look back and before I could do anything else, I head Mark's voice.

"Are you alright?" he laughed.

He was walking towards me on the other side of the street.

"I'm fine," I said blushing.

"You look…….great," he said slowly.

Liar! He probably thinks I look like a slob. He looked really nice though. We walked to the Life Café, without saying anything. He held the door open for me and told Pete table for two. I looked around at all the other people in there. They all looked so casual and they each had not a care in the world.

Our table was in the corner. I sat down, not realizing he was trying to pull out a chair for me. I felt like an idiot as he sat down blushing. We sat there for a while, not looking at each other.

"So," he said. "How do you like Buzzline so far?"

"It is good," I said. "So different from my old job, but I love it."

"Oh yeah," he said. "You guys used to be our biggest competition. But now you aren't."

"Is that because I moved to Buzzline," I teased.

"Exactly," Mark laughed. We smiled at each other and then our waiter came. I looked at the menu and knew I was getting the Miso soup, but I persisted to look at the menu for a long time, so I wouldn't have to look at Mark.

He cleared his throat and I looked up. The waiter was standing next to him.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I blushed. "Miso soup please."

"Me too," Mark said.

The waiter took our menus and we sat in more silence.

"So," Mark mumbled. "How is it living with Joanne and Maureen?"

"Not that bad. They are such a cute couple. I love couples like that."

Oh god! Does he think I am hinting towards that?

The food came very quickly which I silently thanked God for.iad.ent from my old job, but i e for a while, not looking at each other.

two. i

I took a bite and gasped loudly at the hot sensation that burned my mouth. I spit some back out and the soup dripped down my chin. I looked up and Mark was staring at me.

"I'll be right back," I said.

I ran to the bathroom and started to cry. This was going horribly. Why did I come? I could only blame myself though, because I asked him to come. I imagined it much different. I thought we would talk and it would be comfortable. Like two friends!

_Then you shouldn't have suggested it would be like a date!_ Ugh! I hated myself at the moment. Why was I so stupid? I couldn't face him. No, I had too. I mean I worked with him and if he thought I was a loser for not coming back, and then I would totally kill my career. I took a deep breath, splashed some water on my face, and made my way back to the table.

"Are you alright?" he asked with a concerned look.

"I'm fine," I said.

"Your soup is cold," he pointed out. I nodded and sat down.

"This is weird, right?" he said after a moment. I nodded, without looking at him.

"You don't have to do this," he said. "I should've never come. I am sorry."

He started to stand up.

"Whoa!" I said, reaching a hand up and touching his arm. "I was just thinking the same thing. But I was thinking I was the idiot in this situation."

"I guess we both are a little nervous," he laughed.

"This is a little awkward."

"Why don't we just go somewhere?" he asked. "Like for a walk or something?"

"Okay," I said. He threw money down on the table. I went to take some of my own cash out, but he stopped me.

"Let me help," I said.

"No," he laughed. "My treat!"

Oh great! It was my idea to go on this date and now he thinks I just did it for a free meal. He probably thinks I am such a skank.

"I have known you for less than a week and this is the second walk we have taken," I pointed out. He took me out the back door into a cold alley that was lit by one flickering street light.

"Roger and Mimi shared their first kiss back here," he said.

"Aw," I giggled. "This is like their special spot."

"Yeah," he said uncomfortably. I sensed the tension and knew that he must have some feelings for her. "Do you want a tour?" he asked, changing the subject.

"You bet!"

He brought me to a big empty garage type thing and told me how Maureen had a huge performance here two Christmases ago. I stood up on the stage and started dancing. He laughed and pulled out his camera. Where did it come from? It must have been in his jacket. I laughed and stopped.

"Don't tape me!" I squealed. "I look horrible."

"No you don't," he said. I stared at him, trying not to blink. He smirked. "Did you know you are wearing a pendant I gave Maureen like two years ago?"

"I am?" I laughed. "That is awkward."

He cleared his throat. "Um….let's keep going."

I followed him out of there and we came across a park. There was a bench and a few rusted swings.

"Three months ago, at Christmas, Mimi came here when she ran away. Maureen and Joanne found her on this bench. She could've died if they didn't see her."

"Good thing they did," I said.

"Yeah," he said, looking off into the distance. Then, he stood up. "Do you want to go on the swings?"

"Sure," I laughed. We sat down and started pumping our legs, racing to see who could get higher. Finally, he yelled jump.

I jumped into the air and looked at the night sky. It felt like I was flying. I brought my arms out and caught onto Mark's jacket. We both fell out of the sky and landed with a thud on the grass.

"Ouch," I laughed. I rolled over and landed on his chest. "Sorry….sorry…."

I pulled away, but Mark had his hand on my back, holding me there. I stared into his blue eyes and felt myself melting away into them. He stared back and slowly leaned into my lips. I was about to return it when I heard a shout. I looked behind me, before our lips could even touch and a police officer was standing on the sidewalk with a flashlight.

"Park hours are closed," he said firmly. "Move along!"

I got up and walked away from the park, feeling like an idiot. He didn't want to kiss me! What was I thinking?

"I think that is all I really can show you tonight," he mumbled. "At least all the interesting stuff. I will walk you home."

I didn't say anything and we walked in silence. We came in front of Maureen and Joanne's apartment.

"Bye," I said. "Thanks for dinner."

He looked at the ground and didn't say anything. I sighed and went inside, descending up the flight of stairs to the side. When I got to the second floor, I heard echoing footsteps running behind me. I turned around and saw Mark. He threw out his hand and pushed his weight against the door that led to the second floor.

"I know it has only been one day," he panted. "But I have never felt so sure about something since….well……it isn't important since when. All I know is that back at the park, I felt something and I think you did too. Maybe it will all be a mistake in the end, but I know I won't be able to sleep tonight unless I am positive."

"What?" I asked, confused.

He grabbed the back of my head and roughly kissed me. I fell back a little, but the step caught my balance. I generally relaxed my hands onto his waist.

"Wait!" he gasped, pulling away. "What am I doing? I am sorry; I should not have done that. We barely know each other and-"

"Shut up," I said. I kissed him again. It felt so good to be kissing someone. He was perfect. I felt so sure about everything around him. I pulled away and looked at him.

"I didn't mean to come on too strong," I whispered, biting my lip. "I guess we will never know-"

"I know," he said. "I know how I feel. How do you feel?"

"I feel so confident and in love around you," I said.

"I feel like you could be the girl I was looking for," he said.

"So…..do you think you can sleep tonight, knowing this?" I asked.

"Hell yes!"

* * *

Okay. First, the translations: 

**Chica** girl or a form of honey, sweetie, or baby

**Ah Dios mio** oh my God!

**Que es tu problema?** what is your problem?

**Lo siento** I am sorry

**Por que eres tu aqui?** Why are you here?

**Por que?** Why?

**Tu eres muy estupida! Por que tu vas y esta mal a tu cuerpo? Yo estoy muy triste para tu. Por favor no-** You are so stupid. Why do you have to go and be bad to your body? I feel so sad for you. Please don't-

So that is that. And one more thing:

Can you please give me your favorite name for a boy.

And your favorite name for a girl.

And when you are done tell me if you think Sherman is a cute girl's name.

I was just wondering and need this information. Thanks!

_Sorry for the long A/N and Read and Review!_


	10. The Happy Family

Short chapter. I was just wondering if you guys could please give me those names, because I am really indicisive and need other people's input. Another thing, The Without You I Die series is back up and running, so if you are bored, you can read it.

* * *

**The Happy Family**

(Narrator's POV)

_May 20, 1991 6:45 a.m. standard time_

_Three months had passed since Mark and Erika's first kiss. They started dating a week after that night. Mark was determined to make this work, so he took their relationship very slow, and Erika was perfectly fine with that. It seemed that Mark had found just the girl he was looking for and Erika had discovered her prince charming._

_Roger and Mimi had not had a huge fight since Roger found her with Mark. Then again, they barely see each other anymore. In March, Roger started hardcore practices for his band. He was spending every minute at the Life, playing his guitar and singing. Mimi had been spending all her time at the Cat Scratch club, because due to her lack of performance, the manager made her practice and perform double sessions. I guess it wasn't all bad though. They were both bringing in a lot of money and Mimi was convinced that all this work would make her lose the weight she so desperately wanted to get rid of. Her weight issue got so bad, that Mimi only slept in the bed she shared with Roger when he wasn't around, because she was embarrassed by her fat. When he was there, she told him she was sick and would sleep on the couch. Roger was too tired to even realize. Through all of this, Mimi would be cold and rude to Erika, who she still didn't like._

_Angel never did return that phone call, but continued to get messages from the man. Collins would always question her, but she would smile sweetly and not respond. Some things were better kept left a secret. _

_Maureen and Joanne were still doing fine. Joanne began her workaholic routine, because she was striving for a job promotion. Maureen didn't complain though. She tried to stay optimistic and spent her time, writing new ideas for performances, which she wanted to start doing again._

_So, all in all the Bohemians were at a peace, even if they were all too busy to notice each other. They were still a family though. One big, happy family!_

Roger woke up and looked at the clock. It read 6:45. He groaned. He shouldn't be awake! He went to go fall back asleep, when he realized Mimi wasn't next to him.

He got up and his feet hit the cold floor. He walked into the living room and saw her curled up on the couch. He went to grab her and bring her to the bedroom, so she could sleep comfortably, but someone behind him, made him jump.

"Whoa!" he said.

"Ah!" Erika screamed. She brought her hand to her heart. "You startled me!"

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I am waiting for Mark," she said. "We have work today."

"Are you still dating him?"

"Yes," Erika said slowly. "Why do you ask?"

"You don't live here," he said bluntly. "I would think by now you would be living here."

"We want to take it slow," Erika said quietly.

"You mean Mark wants to take it slow."

Erika stared at him.

"Make the first move, because he never will make the first move."

"Mark and I are fine," she said triumphantly. "At least me and Mark are talking to each other."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

Erika pointed to the couch, where Mimi was sound asleep. "Now who needs the advice on dating?"

Roger glared at Erika and turned on his heel and went into the bedroom with Mimi in his arms, slamming the door.

Mimi woke up and yawned.

"What am I doing here?" she said, shocked.

"Oh," Roger said angrily. "You mean we aren't sleeping in the same bed anymore?"

"No…..we are…..but……what is wrong?"

"Erika just……..I mean we never………..forget it."

"I know," Mimi said. "We never see each other anymore."

"Is there……..someone else?" Roger asked.

"Baby," Mimi exclaimed. "No, of course not! A lot has been going on with me though."

"Have you been eating?" he asked out of the blue.

"Um……yes…..where did that come from?"

"You look really pale lately."

"Oh," Mimi sighed. "I thought you were going to say I looked skinnier."

"You are skinny," Roger said. "It is just that-"

"Forget it!" she cried. "I need to go get ready for work."

"Your stuff is in here," he pointed out.

"I want to get ready in the bathroom."

"Why?" Roger snapped. "Are you too good for me or do you not feel comfortable around me?"

Mimi stood up. "Just let me go to the bathroom."

Roger stood in front of the door and stared her down.

"ROGER!"

"Whatever," Roger mumbled, pushing past her and throwing himself onto the bed.

Mimi walked out of the bedroom, wanting to turn around and give him a hug, but feeling too self conscience.

* * *

Read and Review! The faster you review the faster I update! 


	11. Hope

Warning: really short chapter, because I need to catch up on writing this story. Expect another update by Tuesday or Wednesday. Promise it will be a long one.

_Disclaimer: I don't own RENT, but it owns me!_

* * *

**Hope**

(Angel's POV)

_May 20, 1991 8:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Bye baby," I called. "Have a good day at work."

"Kay Ang," Collins yelled. "See you later."

I smiled and blew a kiss to him. Then, I turned back into the house and went over to the kitchen table, which had become my work space for the last couple of months. I was working on children's clothes and women's accessories. Collins and I were planning to open me up a store, which would be _amazing!_

I took the thread and pushed it through the eye of the needle, when I heard a knock on the door.

"Come in baby," I yelled, thinking it was Collins. The door opened. "Why did you knock?"

I looked up and gasped. There, standing in my living room was Rufus Longere.

"Angelo?" he asked.

"How did you find me?" I asked slowly.

"I know people who know people who know the area. This isn't the reaction I was expecting."

"How did you….I mean….." I stood up and went to hug this man in my home. He had long hair down to his ears. It was soft and brown. When we were younger he used to straighten it with an iron. He had on a tight dark green sweater and black jeans.

"It's cold," he said. "I've missed you baby."

"Honey," I said slowly. He pushed past me and sat down on the couch.

"Who is this?" he asked, pointing at a framed picture of me and Collins.

"My friend…..a brother…"

"Which one?" Rufus asked.

I just laughed, not answering.

"Baby, are you nervous?"

"About what?"

"I don't know," he said. "You are acting weird."

"Let's just-"

"I agree, let's talk business!"

You are probably so confused right now. I am confused! And I am barely ever confused. I, Angel, did not know what to do. I hated this feeling and prayed for a diversion. And a diversion came.

There was a knock on the door.

"Oh my gosh!" I yelled. "You need to leave."

"Why?" he asked angrily.

"It's a surprise," I exclaimed. "For you! And I don't want to spoil it!"

"Okay…..the only reason I will leave is because I have some more business to attend to. There is a huge deal on the other side of town."

"Can you leave out the back door?"

He nodded and got up to kiss me. I turned my cheek and his lips brushed my skin. Before he could say anything, I shoved him out the back door and ran to the front door.

"Sorry Tom!" I said, out of breath.

"Tom? What are you talking about Angel?" Mimi was standing on the front step. I grabbed her arm and yanked her in.

"There is a problem!" I yelled.

"Tell me," Mimi said. I sat her down, but before I could say anything, she started crying.

"What is wrong?" I exclaimed.

"Sorry," she sniffled. "Let's just talk about your problem."

"No," I said. "Tell me!" I loved hearing other people's problems first.

She stood up and starting pacing and crying.

"I don't know what is going on with me lately. I mean, I love Roger, but lately I have been pushing him away. I feel so self conscience…….especially about my body. Work is getting too serious. I never see my family and friends anymore. I hate Erika; she always acts like she is judging me. I think Roger may like her and……"

"What chica," I said. Her eyes had grown wide and she stood up brought her hand to her chest. All the color drained from her face. "Finish your story." I waited for a response. "Are you okay?"

I turned around to see if Rufus had come back through the door. I was so afraid that, that would be the reason she was as white as a ghost. No one was there.

"Mimi!" I yelled, a little impatiently.

Mimi gasped. "I can't breath."

She fell to her knees and clutched her shirt, bunching the material into a ball.

"MIMI!" I cried.

"Angel," she gasped, sobbing. "I cannot breath."

She fell on her side and looked up at me, wheezing.

"Hold on!" I ran to the phone and dialed up at me, wheezingymore. I hate Erika, she always acts like she is judging me. I think Roger may9-1-1.

"HELLO!" I screamed when they answered. "MY FRIEND IS HURT! SHE CANNOT BREATH"

I gave them the address and then I ran back to Mimi. She was holding her chest and gasping quickly. She had a cold sweat and she was shaking.

"They're coming," I whispered, when I heard the sirens coming. "You're going to be alright."

_I hope._

* * *

Reviews would be greatly appreciated.


	12. I Know

Hi everyone! So maybe a few of you were confused on that last chapter. I will sum everything up and add some spoilers at the end of this chapter. In the meantime, these next two weeks are crazy for me. I have the PSAT's tomorrow. _Wish me luck! _I have to go to the gym everyday and finish on my 6-pack, because I just found out I have to wear a belly shirt in the play I am doing. And I have hardcore rehearsals and hell week coming up for _FAME!_ (that is the play I am in.)

So I will update as much as I can, but be patient with me.

_Disclaimer: I don't own RENT or pay rent. But I sing and dance to RENT like it is my job._

* * *

**I Know**

(Mark's POV)

_May 20, 1991 12:15 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was sitting with Erika in the corner of the cafeteria at Buzzline. She was picking at her salad and looking at the table.

"Are you going to eat?" I laughed. She shrugged and continued stabbing her lettuce with the plastic fork. I put down my sandwich and tried to catch her gaze. "What is wrong Er?"

"Nothing," she sighed.

"Was it something I did?"

"Yes," she said. "I mean no…..I mean…..more like something Roger did."

"What the hell did he do?" I exclaimed.

"Nothing," she laughed. "He was just being a jerk. You know how he is in the morning."

"Just tell me what he did," I said sternly.

"Forget it!" she yelled. "It is just….I feel so left out. I mean, I am living in an extra room in Maureen and Joanne's house and I feel so far away from everyone."

"Do you want to move in?" I asked, unsure of what she meant. She had been living with Maureen and Joanne in a spare room and I thought everything was fine.

"No," she said quickly. "I mean……Roger told me that he thought I would be living there…in the loft. I guess I just got….well….never mind."

"I know that you are probably frustrated with me," I said. "But you have no idea how badly I want this to work out. That is why I am going so slowly."

"I understand," she said slowly. "I really do. I just feel so far away from you and everyone, it hurts."

I could not believe I was about to do, what I was about to do. But I couldn't lose Erika, so I had to say it.

"Mimi's old apartment," I said slowly. "The apartment is right below us. No one is living there. It is in good condition and-"

"Whoa!" she laughed. "I cannot afford that. And Mimi would hate me!"

"You don't need to pay anything. You can just contribute to the rent. We will figure it out later. Please just move there. This way you can feel closer to the family. It would mean a lot to me."

"Are you serious?" she asked.

I nodded.

She leaned across the table and kissed me. I took that as a yes.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_May 20, 1991 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I knew Mimi was going to kill me, but the apartment was perfect and I was more than excited to be moving in.

"And that is about it," Mark said, putting his hands in his pockets. He was giving me a tour of the place I would call home in a week.

"I love it," I said.

"I mean, we have to move her stuff and figure something out for you to have space," he mumbled.

"I _love_ it," I said again.

"And I know it is really dusty and cold. It really isn't what you are used to. I know that you probably think it is horrible, but-"

"Mark!" I yelled, grabbing his hands, which were flying around and he was talking. "I absolutely, positively, love it!"

"Are you sure?" he asked, leading me out of the cold, barren room.

"Yes," I squealed.

"I have a feeling this will work out well," he smiled. We walked up the stairs and opened the loft's door. I sat on the couch, pulling him with me.

"Wait," he said suddenly, in mid-kiss. "The machine is blinking."

"Ignore it," I whispered. He pulled away, shaking his head.

I sighed and uncoiled my arms from around his neck. He went over to the white phone and pushed the blinking red button.

"Hi guys," said a familiar voice. "It's Collins," his voice sounded defeated and sad. "Um….something happened with Mimi. Roger if you're there, I have been trying to contact you. I called the Life, but they never put you on the phone. So, I need you to come down to the hospital. We don't really know what happened. Anyway, come as soon as you can. It's about 1."

The machine beeped and the light went out.

"Shit," Mark cursed. "What the hell happened?"

"Maybe she got hurt at work," I pointed out.

"No," he said angrily. "She wouldn't get hurt from that. She is in the fucking hospital Erika! It was something obviously serious!"

"Don't yell at me," I whined. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing," he yelled. He sighed and brought his hand to his head. "I am sorry, I just need to find Rog-"

Mark stopped as the loft door opened. Roger came in laughing and talking to some girl. She was hanging on his arm and flirting.

"And then I said-" Roger saw us and stopped talking.

"Tell me the rest," the girl said in an annoying valley girl accent.

"Hi guys," Roger said ignoring her. "What are you doing here?"

"What are you doing with _her_?" Mark yelled. "What about your _girlfriend_?"

"What about her?" Roger asked suspiciously.

"Girlfriend?" the girl exclaimed.

"Yes," Roger snapped. "I need….I need to go…..see you tomorrow or something?"

"Or something," she mumbled under her breath, storming out.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Some girl who was hanging around the band for a few weeks," he said. "She asked if I was busy after practice and I said no, so we walked home together."

"So you're cheating on Mimi?" Mark spat.

"No," Roger said slowly. "We never did anything. We were just hanging out as friends."

"That is not what she thought," I laughed.

"So I sent mixed signals," he smirked.

"Do you not think of Mimi?" Mark asked slowly.

"I do," he yelled. "But she has been pushing me away and not caring for me. It is fucking retarded. I don't know what her problem is!"

"Maybe pay more attention to her!" Mark yelled.

"I DO!" Roger yelled. "Mind your own business you asshole. I don't even want to get into this with you. And you know what I am talking about."

Mark made a half angry, half pleading face, almost as if to say, _please don't say anything._

"Well if you do then go down to the hospital," he whispered, turning his back. "You will find Mimi there."

"Yeah well you ar-" Roger stopped. "The hospital?"

Mark didn't respond.

"Mark?" Roger asked. Mark still had his back turned to his best friend. Roger grabbed Mark's scrawny shoulders and spun him around. "MARK! ANSWER ME!"

"You heard me!" Mark spat.

"Stop guys," I said. "Roger, Mimi is in the hospital and-"

"What the hell did you do to her?" Roger yelled, turning to Mark.

"Calm down!" I yelled. "Mark didn't do anything. We just got in. We have no idea what happened. Can you two just please stop? The main problem is Mimi right now."

"You're right," Roger said slowly. "We need to go."

We all stared at him.

"NOW!" he yelled. Mark and I followed him out of the loft. He started jogging down the street, with Mark close behind, and me wishing I wasn't in heels.

"Listen man," Roger said, slowing down after a while. "I just want you to know I am sorry. I never meant to hurt Mimi. I just……..well…….I was upset. And it was stupid of me. I should have just spoken to her, but I never mean to hurt her. I love you….ya know?"

"I know," Mark mumbled.

"I really feel horrible. Well, it might be better if you don't mention this."

"I know," Mark mumbled, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, forget that! You can tell her. I shouldn't keep anything from her. Nothing happened and she knows I love her. Well, at least I hope she knows that. Do you know what I mean?"

"I know," Mark said irritably.

"I just-"

"Roger!" Mark said sternly. He let out a large sigh and then spoke in a kind and soft tone that surprised me. "I know you are sorry and I know you love her, but you need to calm down and breathe. We have to get to Mimi, okay?"

Roger smiled slightly and then nodded. "I know."

* * *

So Mimi is in the hospital and Roger was not cheating. He was just being Roger. Erika is moving into Mimi's apartment. Angel's old friend came to visit. Rufus will be a crucial character later on in the story.

To sum it all up: These people have problems!

Spoilers

-Mark, Mimi, and Angel will have a long talk.

-Mimi and Erika will have a dangerous confrontation

-The Bohemians will all go their separate ways.

-Angel will take off the drag and go back to her hometown

-Roger will continue to _try_ and write his song

_Hope these spoilers were satisfying. Please keep reading. And I will love you and update faster if you **Review!**_


	13. Embarazada

Another short one! I just don't want to update ones that are too long and then end up getting behind on my writing. I will probably not update until Sunday, because tomorrow I am getting confirmed and then there is a party at my house all day. Woo hoo.

So, on with the story.

_Disclaimer: RENT life_

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**Embarazado**

(Angel's POV)

_May 20, 1991 2:10 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Angel!"

I turned around and saw Collins running down the hallway. I stood up and hugged him.

"Is she okay?" he asked, breathing heavily.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I haven't heard anything. And they told me to stay in my seat, because I was annoying them."

"Were you like asking them about her every five minutes?" Collins laughed.

"Every two."

"Oh Ang," he kissed my forehead and sat down next to me. "Do you want me to get you a cup of water, I am thirsty?"

"No," I said. "I will get it. I am sick of sitting."

I walked down the hallway, until I reached the water fountain. I pulled a cup off the rack and put it under the spout. I heard squeaking shoes walking past me. The person glanced at me, did a double take, changed direction, and came up to me.

"Angel?" he asked.

"Last time I checked," I said, giggling.

"I need to speak with you," he said, leading me to a doorway. "I am Doctor McFay. I have been caring for Miss Marquez." He said the last part in a question, almost making sure that he had the right person.

"Oh my goodness!" I cried. "How is she? Is she awake? Is-"

"Angel," he smiled. "Let me just talk to you for a moment."

"Let me just get my boyfriend, he would want to hear this," I said quickly.

"She requests that only you hear this news," the doctor said. "Miss Marquez had a panic attack."

"So it wasn't a seizure?"

"No," he said. "But that doesn't make it any better. It was a panic attack brought on by starvation."

"She wasn't eating?" I gasped. "We had suspected it, but…..I didn't think it was _that_ bad."

"You cannot take these things lightly. We have her on medications that are bringing her heart rate and blood pressure back up. Then we will be prescribing her medicine that will help her gain weight back. A close eye needs to be kept on her eating habits at all times. You cannot let her know you are watching her, though, because she may eat around you, but throw it up later."

"She was throwing up a lot," I said.

"You need to keep a close eye on her and make sure she is taking her medication," he repeated. "I suppose you are aware she tested positive for HIV?"

I nodded.

"Well," Dr. McFay said. "We needed to double her AZT intake, because of the lack of it that she took during her starvation period."

"Is that it?" I asked. "Can I see her?"

"There is much more to be spoken about, but she would like to tell you the rest," he said. He pushed open the door they were standing in front of. "She is the last bed on the right, near the window."

I thanked him and entered the room.

I walked down the aisle that was surrounded by beds, not looking at the patients lying in the room. I got to the last bed and sighed.

Mimi was lying on the bed with her eyes closed. I reached out and touched her cheeks. I was met with a feeling of cold skin and dried tears. She opened her eyes at my touch.

"Angel," she whispered. "I hate this!"

"I know chica," I said, sitting on the bed. "Why did you do this?"

"I was stressed and work demanded it and everything was messed up. And Roger was ashamed of me and-"

"He is _not, _I repeat, _not_ ashamed of you."

Mimi sniffled and looked at the ground.

"What else is wrong?"

"Nothing," she smiled.

"The doctor told me you had much more to tell me," I said.

"I know," she sighed. "I just hope if I put it off, maybe it will go away."

"You need to tell me."

She nodded and looked off into the distance. "I have been throwing up a lot. Most of it was not intentional. But when I threw up, I felt so good. It became a habit. I told the doctors and they tested me. They came back with three results. One was that I was HIV positive, which we all knew. Another said that I had traces of some physiological imbalance in my blood. They took this result to another doctor, who said he would get the blood tested, but he was almost positive I would come up as bulimic. Bulimia is a physiological disorder of the body and mind."

"Oh baby," I said. "We will get you help. You don't need to stress or freak out. It will all be fine. No big deal!"

"There were three results," she sobbed.

"Do you have that disease where you gain and lose weight rapidly?"

"Please don't tell anyone any of this that I am saying," she added.

"Do you have another STD?"

"Like, I am serious. No one but you can know about this. I need some time to think."

"Do you have cancer?"

"Angel, I trust you."

"Tell me!" I exclaimed.

"Los doctors dicen, yo estoy embarazado."

* * *

For those who don't speak Spanish, you will have to wait to see what it means. Or you can cheat and look up the translations.

Reviews would be amazingly helpful for this chapter!


	14. Positive

Please leave reviews if you want fast updates. I need your input it really helps and motivates me to write more.

_Disclaimer: I think you all know I still don't own it. _**  
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* * *

**Positive**

(Roger's POV)

_May 20, 1991 2:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

I ran into the hospital and saw Collins sitting in one of the chairs. I ran over to him and didn't have to even say anything. He stood up and put his hands on my shoulders.

"I don't know anything yet. Angel went to get me some water and never came back. I think she is hassling the nurses."

I ignored him and turned around quickly and ran right into a doctor.

"Can I help you?" he asked. "I saw your frantic faces and had to come over."

"No shit," I mumbled under my breath.

"We are looking for Miriam Marquez," Erika said.

"Oh," he said. "I am sorry, intermediate family only."

"We _are_ her family," Mark said.

"There are too many of you," he said. "Our policy is one visitor a day for patients on high health risks and we have a young lady in with her now."

"God damnit Angel," I cursed. "I need to see her."

"And who are you?" he asked.

"I am her boyfriend. We were just informed about it, please let me see her."

The doctor looked around the reception room and then sighed.

"I can take one of you," he said.

"Go Roger, tell her we said hi," Collins said.

I nodded and followed the doctor over to a large wooden door.

"Last bed on the right," the doctor said. "You have 5 minutes."

I pushed past him and ran to the edge of the room.

"Mimi!" I cried. "What happened?"

"Roger!" she exclaimed, with surprise in her voice. "What are you doing here?"

"What is that suppose to mean?" I asked angrily. "Why wouldn't I be here?"

"Chica," Angel said, patting Mimi's hand. "I am going to wait outside."

"Bye Angel," we said at the same time. Then I turned to her. "So baby, what happened?"

"I had a panic attack."

"Why? Where were you during this? Was it because of your manager?"

"No," she said slowly. "It was a panic attack…….brought on by……starvation."

"Mimi," I gasped. I stroked her hair. "How could you do that to yourself?"

"I don't know. My work wanted a skinnier image. And I saw all the girls who hung out around your band and they were skinny and beautiful. I felt so awkward."

"Since when have you felt uncomfortable?" I laughed slightly. Then I added seriously, "I would never care how you looked. I think you are beautiful. And you are so skinny, how can you not see that? I wish you would have talked about this with me. You are perfect Meems."

Mimi smiled, with tears in her eyes.

"What is wrong?"

"I might also be diagnosed as Bulimic or anorexic," she said.

"Is that all?" I asked. She nodded. "We are going to get through this. I promise you. Together we will make it."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_May 24, 1991 9:20 a.m. eastern standard time_

I sat in the hospital, wringing my hands around my shirt. I was so, so scared. The three test results were coming back today. I didn't know what to do. I had been let out of the hospital on the 23rd, but I was asked to come back today and pick up my medication and my results. After that, I was to meet Angel at her house. She said she would make coffee and she had doughnuts. I really didn't care what she had. I just wanted to get out of this hospital.

I watched a young girl sitting in the corner, looking at a piece of paper in total shock. She had tears running down her cheeks and she was muttering something. I couldn't look at her. It was too painful and I could relate too much. I wondered what test was in her hands though. Was it a blood test, a pregnancy test, a cancer test, or….an HIV test?

She wiped her nose, crumpled up the paper and ran out of the room. I wanted to stop her and give her a word of comfort, but I didn't. I couldn't and I wouldn't, because I knew how it felt at a time like that.

_I walked into the clinic. Angel was stroking my ponytail. I offered her a weak grin and sat in the hard chairs. I stared out the window at the pouring rain. It came down in sheets and blocked out every exterior image. The rain almost looked frozen on the window; it was coming down so fast. The only indication that it was rain and not an illusion was the noise of the beads of water hitting the roof with a "tap, thud, tap, and thud." The occasional bolt of lightning and rumble of thunder that shook the clinic made me jump and clutch the sides of my chair tighter. I sat on my hands, in an act of nervousness. _

"_AZT is so expensive," some girl sitting nearby said. She was talking to a blonde girl in a pink sweater. "I don't know what I would do if it comes back positive."_

"_Well," the girl in the pink sweater. "If mine comes back positive, I have to make a lot of phone calls tonight and a bunch of boys will not be happy!"_

_They laughed and spoke to each other some more. I couldn't laugh though. And it made me angry that these little whores could just shake it all off and move on. I just wanted to go home and die._

_Was I a whore, then? I mean, I was in the same situation, waiting for my fate, the same fate, which lied in a simple white envelope that was sealed with the saliva of a doctor. A doctor, who had to endure that disgusting and unappetizing taste of that edible glue that they pasted on the envelopes, the same glue that got sticky when wet. And what was the point of this stupid glue? The point was to conceal the contents inside of it. What was the point of concealing that information? It was to keep the information a secret. This only built anticipation. And the anticipation was tearing me apart right now._

"_They are only laughing, because they are scared," Angel whispered to me._

_I couldn't laugh, so I just stared at my roommate and best friend. She smiled for me and gave me a hug._

"_How could my life end at age 17?" I whispered._

"_True," Angel said. "You are so young. But your life is not over. It is just the beginning. Besides, we didn't even get the results."_

"_Oh shut up!" I cried. "You have no idea how I am feeling."_

_Angel's eyes grew wide and she raised her eyebrows. Crap! How could I say that?_

"_I have had HIV since I was 15 and I don't know how you feel?" she laughed. The 19 year old cross dresser hugged me and kissed my forehead._

_Before anything else could happen, a doctor came out with a stack of white envelopes._

"_Lola Cherie?" the doctor said quietly. One of the girls who were laughing stood up._

"_Miriam Marquez?" he called. I stood up and walked to the doctor. My heart beat fast and my legs felt like jelly, as the world around me blurred and spun. I was sure I was going to pass out, as the feeling in my nose drained and I got a small headache._

_I took the envelope and didn't even look up at the man. I walked right out of the clinic, without looking at Angel. I ran outside and stood under the overhang, protecting me from the rain that had only gotten worse. I opened the envelope quickly and threw the stupid thing on the ground. I unfolded my paper and looked for the one word that would confirm it all._

**Positive**

_I fell on the ground in a fit of tears, hugging myself. I crumpled up the paper and banged my head back on the side of the building. I kicked my feet, beating all my frustration into the cement. I screamed. Angel came out and bent down next to me. She put her arm around me, but I pulled away._

"_DON'T TOUCH ME!"_

_I ran down the sidewalk, not even noticing the rain that soaked through to my skin and weighed me down with each stride. I looked back and saw Angel pick up the piece of paper and bring her hand to her mouth._

_I looked forward, trying to run away from the past. I needed a hit. I needed to get away from everything. I ran from the hospital, I ran from the doctor, and the white envelopes, and the disgusting glue they put on it to seal the information. I ran away from the laughing women, and the white walls in the waiting room. I ran away from the noise of the rain on the roof, and the water they fogged the windows. I ripped out my ponytail that Angel had stroked in an act of comfort when we first walked in. I ran away from Angel and her past. Most importantly, I ran away from HIV and AIDS and the word positive. And I even tried to run away from myself and my body, the body that contained my dirty and infected blood._

_I ran away from the disease that now controlled my life._

"Miss Marquez?" asked a deep voice. I looked up, jolted from my thoughts. "Are you okay? You look like you have just seen a ghost."

"I am fine," I said, taking a deep breath. "Do you-"

"Yes," he said. "I have the results. If you open them now, I can explain everything to you now and what medication you will need."

"Oh," I said slowly. "I was going to open them with my friend. She wanted to be here."

"I thought you would say that," he said. He handed me a piece of paper. "Here is the address of the pharmacy where you can get everything and under that is a list of directions on how to take them and then under that is my phone number if you need me."

"Thanks," I said dryly.

"Take care."

Take care? Ha! Good one. How could I take care of myself in this kind of situation? I wanted to be strong though. I had to be strong. I just had to.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_May 24, 1991 9:45 a.m. eastern standard time_

"All along I have loved you, but you are so far away from me," I sang softly. I scribbled a few notes on the lyrics in my notepad and continued strumming my old fender. Mimi said she was going to meet me here, after she picked up her AZT and went to Angel's house for a bit. I promised I would take her out to lunch, because I couldn't remember the last time we hung out together. It made me sad to think we built up something so good and then let it fall to pieces.

I heard the door slide open and Mark walk into the room.

"Oh," he said happily. "Are you writing a new song?"

"Kind of," I said.

"Well," he smiled. "Let's hear it."

"It isn't ready."

"It is _never _ready!"

"Kind of like your movies?" I teased. He threw his scarf at me, kicked off his shoes, and threw his body on the couch.

"What are you doing today?" he asked, yawning.

"Taking Mimi to lunch. What about you?"

"I don't know," he mumbled. "Probably going to shoot some film with Erika tonight."

"Oh," I laughed. "Your life is cool."

He rolled his eyes and then stood up. "Is that Angel's?"

I looked in his direction and saw a blue handbag with a big A on it. I nodded. Mark shook his head and picked it up.

"She must have left it here from the other day when we were all hanging out," he sighed. "I guess I will bring it to her."

"Why?" I laughed.

"I have nothing better to do," he replied. "And I am bored."

"Wow," I said sarcastically. "Your life really is cool."


	15. Nothing Can Stop Us

I really need your reviews, because I have not been getting a lot of feedback and that is starting to scare me!

_Disclaimer: Tomorrow is Adam Pascal's Birthday!_

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**Nothing Can Stop Us**

(Mimi's POV)

_May 24, 1991 10:10 a.m. eastern standard time_

I knocked on Angel's door. The envelope was slightly damp from me holding it so tight. I rubbed my hands on my pants and then Angel opened the door.

"Hey chica!" Angel cried. "Come in, I have soda and popcorn and beer and cookies."

"You baked cookies?" I asked, sniffing the air and smelling the rich dough.

Angel nodded and grinned.

"I didn't know you could cook," I laughed.

"Unlike you," she said. "Other people are excellent cooks."

I punched her arm slightly and then sat on the couch. She brought out a bowl of popcorn and a plate of cookies. Then she brought in two beers.

"I figured this would be the most appropriate drink," she laughed. She sat next to me and crossed her legs. I sighed.

"Should I open it?"

"Whenever you are ready." I took a deep breath and put my nail under an air pocket between the envelope and the flap.

"WAIT!" Angel cried. "Whatever the outcome is, just know that I love you and just don't go into total withdrawal from the world like you did when you found out you were positive. You went into your room and hid under your blanket for days."

"I think I have grown up since then," I said slowly. I saw Angel's _yeah right _face. "I promise I won't do that."

She nodded in approval and I opened the envelope. There was so much running through my head. They told me some news when I was in the hospital, but they also said there was a chance they were wrong. I prayed they were wrong. They were probably wrong. I just kept thinking how good that blanket sounded and going away from everything would be great.

I pulled the paper out of the envelope. There were two papers. The first one was my HIV test.

"Positive," I said.

"OH MY GOD!" Angel teased.

"Shut up," I said seriously. "Why did they give me this? That is retarded. I obviously know I have HIV."

"What does the next one say?" she asked, biting her lips.

I quickly took it out and glanced at it. "My blood says that I have an eating disorder." I read further into it. "They don't say if it is anorexia or bulimia though. I will have to call him about this one."

"Can you just ignore that one?" Angel asked. "You promised you would eat, so you no longer have an eating disorder."

I laughed at her comment. I had promised I would eat normally again, but I guess the doctors needed to take these precautions. And I never knew what I was capable of, so maybe it was best that they diagnosed me.

"The last one?" Angel asked, pointing at the white sheet that remained in the envelope.

I unfolded it and read the sheet.

"What is the outcome?"

"It's a boy," I said feebly. Angel gasped and fell on my side, crying. That was it! I am pregnant. There goes my dreams and my plans! My life is over. Roger would leave me, because he doesn't have enough emotional capacity to raise a kid.

Angel hugged me. "You said you would be strong-"

"I AM TRYING!" I screamed.

"But you just let it out," she finished.

The next ten minutes I cried and cried, until I ran out of energy and sat up with a tissue in my hand. My eyes were bright red and puffy and my nose was running. I was breathing heavy as most people do after a good long cry. Each inhale filled my lungs with refreshing, cold air, which gave me a chilled and relaxed feeling. It also got my heart pumping and my head feeling clearer.

Before Angel could do anything, there was a knock at the door. Her face turned pale and she got up to look out the window. Her eyes grew wide with a quizzical expression and she opened the door.

"Hey Mark," she said.

"Hi," he said. "I was…..whoa…..Mimi…..what is wrong?"

"Oh," Angel said answering for me. "She is just having a bad day."

Mark pushed past her and came to sit next to me. He put his arm around me and tried to make eye contact.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded and took another breath.

"Here is your purse," Mark said, handing Angel the purse, but not taking his eyes off of me.

"Is that what you came here for?" she asked. Mark nodded.

"Mark," I croaked. "Can you go get me a glass of water?"

He stood up and went into the kitchen.

"I am going to tell Mark," I whispered quickly.

"What?"

"Just trust me," I said.

"I think you should do whatever you feel comfortable with," she smiled.

Mark came back and handed me the water. I took a sip and stood up. "Mark, I need to tell you something. I am going to make this very quick, so don't interrupt. When I went to the hospital, the doctors realized that I had a few things going on _in_ my body. Um….I got the tests back today. One said I had HIV, which I knew, so that wasn't a big deal. The next one said I may be bulimic or anorexic." He opened his mouth and I raised a finger towards Mark, silencing him. "One thing that happened, though, was an unusual test. Well….not unusual, but I am not to happy about it. I just…..well….I guess what I am saying is……..I am pregnant."

"Congratulations!" he said dryly. He stood up and hugged me. I didn't hug him back though. I just felt more tears fall down my face.

Angel caught on and gasped, knowing why I was so upset about the whole ordeal. I saw a few tears form in her eyes.

"You cannot mention this to Roger," I said.

"Why?" he asked.

"I am 3 months pregnant. In about a week or two I will be 4 months pregnant."

"Okay," he said slowly. "So why can't I tell Roger. Are you planning on ever telling him? Are you going to keep the kid?"

"Of course I am! I am _not _getting an abortion. And I will eventually tell him," I answered. Then I got frustrated. "But that is _not _the point! Mark, I cannot tell Roger, because-"

"Can't you count Mark?" Angel spoke up.

"I am so confused," Mark said.

"Mark!" I screamed. "What happened 3 months ago?"

"Well……nothing really…..you and Roger fought over…………" Mark's face dropped and the color drained. "Oh shit. You mean…I am….the….."

Angel cleared her throat and offered a small smile. "Congratulations!"

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_May 24, 1991 12:15 p.m. eastern standard time_

"So how was your day?" I asked when Mimi and I finally sat down at the table. She cleared her throat and smiled at me.

"Just hung out with Angel," she laughed. "She even baked cookies. I didn't even know she knew how to bake. Well, they were really good. And-"

"Was Mark there?" I asked casually.

Her face got white. "Yes," she snapped. "Why does that matter?"

"I was just wondering. He said he was going to stop by there," I said. I took her hand in mine and kissed it. "Is everything okay with you?"

"Kind of," she said.

"What is wrong?" I asked.

"I am just getting used to my new medication from the hospital and I still feel a little weak," she replied.

"What new medication?"

"AZT!" she said quickly. Mimi looked out the window and then back at me. "Well, I also got a test back saying that I have a form of anorexia or bulimia. They cannot decipher which one though, considering that I threw up and that I did not eat. It was mild though and they just want my family to stay on top of my eating. If anything gets bad I will go in for testing. So how is the band?"

"Oh Mimi," I cried. "I promise you this will get better. You will just eat more and I will take care of it. It was just a hard time for you, I understand."

"How is the band?" she repeated, grinning at what I just said.

"Good," I laughed. "You should come to one of our performances."

"I guess I have been a really bad girlfriend," she blushed.

"No," I said. "I have been a bad boyfriend."

"We have just been a bad couple."

"It can get better though." She looked at me after I said this and smiled.

"Do you love me?" she asked.

"No," I teased. "I adore you."

"You would trust me and still love me through the hard times, right?"

I nodded. She kissed me and put her hands in mine.

"We have made it this far Mimi," I whispered. "Nothing can stop us now."

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_May 29, 1991 8:05 a.m. eastern standard time_

"I hate you!" Erika said. We were both sitting on the couch, drinking coffee. She had her grey suit for work. The coat and matching skirt were pressed and ironed to perfection. I had on my pajamas, which consisted of a pair of Roger's old sweatpants and Collins' NYU sweatshirt. I really needed my own clothes.

"No you don't," I laughed.

"I really do! Alexi hates me! She never, ever gives me a day off from work!"

"Be patient," I said.

"Who will I eat lunch with," I whined.

"You can call me during your break," I offered.

She smiled and looked at her watch. "Oh shoot!" she cried. "I am late. I have to go." She ran to the door and stopped. "Are you actually going to allow me to leave without kissing me?"

"Yes," I teased. She put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. I stood up and wrapped my arms around her thin body and kissed her pink lips.

I waved to her as the door shut. My first day off! If I told myself a week ago that I was going to get this day off, I would have anticipated a day of relaxation, sleep, and some filming in the park. But that is not what I would be doing today. I had much bigger plans at hand.

I went back to my room and put on some clothes. I came out at the same time Roger came out of his room. He was dressed for band rehearsal. Mimi followed close behind with her Cat Scratch uniform on under her leopard print coat.

"Call it," Roger yelled, referring to the bathroom and running there. Mimi and I laughed nervously.

"He shouldn't be too long," she said.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I guess you guys spoke about….the situation?"

"No," she whispered. "I am going to tell him after today, as long as we get everything taken care of."

"I guess I will see you in about an hour," I said.

"Why are you still here?" she asked. "He might catch on."

"Erika left late," I said. "I couldn't get ready with her here or she would suspect something."

"Oh," Mimi said angrily. "So you will risk getting me in trouble, because Erika is a slow ass?"

"Please Mimi," I said fiercely. "Stop hating her."

"I am not jealous of her!"

"I never said you were! But now I am thinking you are jealous."

"I am _not-"_

"What is going on?" Roger asked, coming out of the bathroom?"

"Nothing," Mimi smiled, kissing him. "We were just arguing about who got the bathroom first."

"I am going to be late if I don't use it now," I lied.

"Ladies first!" Roger and Mimi said at the same time. They both laughed and Mimi went into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

"So," I said.

"How are you and Erika?" Roger asked.

"Good, good," I smiled. "She loves Mimi's apartment."

"Mimi doesn't love that idea," Roger said.

"Tell her to suck it up, because Erika is here to stay and-"

"Whoa!" Roger laughed. "I think it is a great idea. You know how Mimi gets though. Anyway, I am happy for you man. You finally got back out there in the dating world."

I nodded. Mimi came out and took Roger's hand.

"Bye Mark," Roger called over his shoulder as Mimi dragged him out of the loft and outside.

I quickly went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and comb my hair. I then sat in the loft for a moment, so they would get a good amount of feet in front so as not to see me. As I left the loft two minutes later, a feeling of sadness came over me. How could I be a father? What would Erika say? What would Roger say? How did celebrities deal with this kind of drama that they go through everyday? This situation was something that would show up on the cover of a magazine. It was all so surreal. I could see it now: _Man fucks best friend's girlfriend, then has her baby, while he is dating another girl, who has no idea of his past._

What was I going to do? I passed the park and saw a mom and dad pushing two little girls on the swings. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe Roger would accept this. I could help her raise the kid. Roger could be the uncle and Erika could be the aunt. Erika would think it was sweet and when we had kids of our own, they would all be siblings. Roger would thank me for taking such good care of his girlfriend's kid and he would apologize for everything. Life would be good and everything would work out. Yeah, maybe this wouldn't be too bad.

"Mark!" Mimi called. I didn't even realize I was in front of the Cat Scratch club. She ushered me inside and we took a seat at the back. Together, we stared at the dancers, who were warming up on the stage.

"Shouldn't you be up there?" I asked.

"No," she said. "I took the day off."

"That is good."

"Mark," she whispered. "_This_ is not good at all."

"I know," I said quickly.

"Then stop acting so cheerful!"

"Listen," I said. "I was thinking. This might not be too bad. I mean, look we are all really good friends. You and I can raise the kid. Roger could be the uncle and Erika could be the aunt. And if Erika and I ever have kids, they can be siblings. We can all live under one roof and-"

"What are you talking about?" she laughed. Then her expression dropped. "You were serious?" I nodded. "Mark! What are you thinking? You are not going to raise this kid! I don't care who the father is! It is my kid and I am going to raise him with my boyfriend. And you can go do whatever the hell you want with that skinny little bitch! You cannot be its father! I already hate this situation enough already!"

"Mimi!" I said in a hurt expression. "It is my child too! I _am_ the father and you are the mother. I am not saying we have to get married, but I want to be a part of its life."

"Well you won't be."

"You cannot stop me from seeing my son!"

"Roger and I will move then!"

"Can you act civilized? You know Roger is going to be pissed when he finds out. He will not want to raise the kid if it isn't his. He will want you to get an abortion or give it to me. You know that is true."

"He isn't that heartless!" she defended.

"BUT APPARENTLY YOU ARE!" I yelled. A few dancers on stage turned to look at us. I sighed. "How can you keep me from seeing it? You cannot run away from the fact that I am the father. You just cannot pretend it never happened. It did happen and we need to figure out what we are going to do about this."

"I am sorry," she said, beginning to cry. "I just hate myself at this moment."

"You obviously are going through a rough time and you need some help, but please don't push me away, especially not now."

She was silent and I took a deep breath.

"Fine," I said. "I respect and understand that you want to raise him, but you need to know that I will still be in the house when he is growing up."

"Until I find a place of my own," she said. "I will have custody over him and you will get him every Sunday to Tuesday."

"Can I have Christmases with him too?"

"Every other holiday we will switch," she said calmly. "I want this to work Mark."

"Me too," I said. I gave her a hug and then asked, "Can we call him Mark Jr."

"I said I want this to work," she teased. "And just for the record, I think we are going to make great parents."

* * *

I feel like giving you guys a taste of what is coming up: 

_"Whatever," Rufus said. He then turned to me. "I missed you, though." _

_I nodded. "Maybe we should just all move on guys! This business is getting tricky." _

_"And what happened the last time you tried to leave?" Rufus asked violently. "And why are you here now? We don't back out on each other. We ride together, we die together. When you're in a gang, you are devoted."_

**Review pleaseeeeeee! **


	16. Clear The Head

HAPPY HALLOWEEN! which was yesterday, but whatever. Sorry for the update delay. I started reading Harry Potter FanFics again. So if you are a HP fan, keep a look out for my upcoming Harry Potter stories. But for now, I am focusing on my obsession: RENT

_Disclaimer: if I owned RENT, I would never take it off Broadway. ):_

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**Clear The Head**

(Angel's POV)

_May 29, 1991 12:15 a.m. eastern standard time_

I had to wait until midnight to leave the house. I knew Collins had a huge presentation tomorrow at work, so he went to bed around 11:30. It takes him 15 minutes to fall asleep, but I wanted to be on the safe side, so I waited a half an hour.

I really did not want to do this, but I was afraid to put it off. There could be grave consequences for me and any of my friends. Luckily, he knew none of my friends, which was fortunate for them.

I wasn't wearing my wig, my skirt, my heels, or any part of my drag tonight. I simply had on a pair of jeans and a black wife beater. I felt uncomfortable in the warm May night. I made my way down one of the alleys near Avenue B and waited next to an empty garbage can.

"Angelo!" cried a voice. I saw Rufus emerge from the shadows and grinned. "I knew you would make it. I have Juan, Michael, and Raul here. We are waiting on Jim and David, though."

"Cool," I said slowly.

Rufus led me deeper into the alley. Once we were in the heart of it, nestled between two brown, dirty buildings, he stopped. In front of me was a garbage can that had flames erupting from it. I was no stranger to this scene, because that was how the loft used to stay heated and when I lived on the street, I survived on those flames.

"Is that Angelo?" asked a man, who looked identical to Rufus, but was broader in the shoulders and had much more muscle mass.

"Yes," Rufus said. He then turned to me. "Do you remember my oldest brother Michael?"

"Hi," I said.

"And then that is my cousin, Juan and his friend Raul." Rufus pointed to a young blonde man and a man smoking a cigarette, not looking at us, pretending we weren't there.

"So," Michael said. "Rufus says you been living here for bout 4 years. Tell me what been going on and what shit been going down!"

"Oh yeah," I said nervously. "I been-"

"You can tell us all later," Rufus said. "We got another group after us. Their name is _Los Caballos._ They are apparently pretty dangerous and want to take our place as top notch material."

"We can take em," the guy with the cigarette said.

"How long are you staying?" I asked.

"Michael wants to settle down here and maybe start a family," Rufus said. "I may be heading up to Massachusetts and maybe you can come with me."

I gulped. "Isn't this business too hard to start a family?"

"I'll manage," he said. "Anyways, I gots to for my papa! He wanted us to marry off to a nice lady and Rufus sort of killed that dream for the old man, so I can't let him down."

"Whatever," Rufus said. He then turned to me. "I missed you, though."

I nodded. "Maybe we should just all move on, guys! This business is getting tricky."

"And what happened the last time you tried to leave?" Rufus asked violently. "And why are you here now? We don't back out on each other. We ride together, we die together. When you're in a gang, you are devoted."

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_May 30, 1991 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was sitting in the loft, watching television, which is how I had been spending my time on the weekends. I took a swig of my beer, only to find, much to my dismay, that it was empty. I stood up and went to the fridge, when Mimi walked in.

"Hey babe," I said, not turning around.

"Hi honey. Can we talk?"

"Sure," I said, pulling out another beer and retreating back to the couch. Mimi sat down and shut off the television.

"You know I love you," she pointed out, not waiting for me to answer. "And a lot of things have happened to us, which have kept us strong. I just wanted to tell you that no matter what happens I want you to believe it will turn out for the best. Do you promise to believe that?"

"Of course," I said.

"I am serious," the dancer whined.

"I swear," I cried, holding my palm up to her in an act of giving an oath. "Now what is wrong?"

"A lot has happened that has changed me as a person. I know that we can work through this! It is going to be hard, but please trust me. And promise you won't freak out or leave me."

"Just tell me!"

"Roger, baby, honey……….I am pregnant." Mimi closed her eyes, almost waiting to be screamed at. I could not believe what she just said. My whole world stopped.

"Are you serious?" I asked slowly. Mimi nodded. "Oh my gosh! Meems! This is amazing! A kid, that is crazy! I cannot believe this!"

I came in and kissed her. "I am almost 4 months pregnant," she said, through the kiss, pushing me away slightly. She stared at me, seeming to wait for a reaction.

"When did you find out?" I demanded.

"At the hospital."

"Mimi, you have possibly made me the happiest person alive." And she had made me the happiest person alive.

"But the father is-"

"We are going to be parents!" I leaned back and took a deep breath, taking the whole experience in. "WE ARE GOING TO BE PARENTS!"

Mimi frowned. Why was she acting so weird? This was amazing! Then I stopped. We could not afford a baby. And what if it was positive for HIV?

"Is it healthy?"

"I need to get it checked up," Mimi sighed. "Are you really happy?"

"Mimi," I said. "I know that this is going to be hard. We are going to have to get more than one job and work longer hours. You will probably have to quit dancing for a little, but you can go back to it after. Maureen could baby-sit it once it is born. And our first priority would be the medicine for it. We can make this work. Most importantly, however, is that I am having a child with a woman I love and adore. What can be better? You could've asked me two days ago what my views on children were and I would have said _hell no!_ But once you actually tell me that we are having one, my opinions change and I don't know how I ever didn't want kids. When it is actually happening, it is so different. Don't you see? We are going to raise a child together!"

Mimi smiled weakly. "It is going to be a boy!"

o o o o o

(Collins' POV)

_June 1, 1991 8:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

"I would like to start off this…..fine day," I mumbled, looking out the window of my classroom at the pouring rain. "With a lecture on good behavior and manners. Ya'll are in college! You shouldn't have to be told how to act, but you seem to have a problem with your maturity level. If you ever make fun of a peer or adult for his orientation, I will have you expelled and you seniors will _not_ graduate. This is _not _the old days anymore and it will _not _be tolerated!"

My students stared at me with blank expressions. Earlier that day, a very _flamboyant_ man was in the lobby, fitting the girl's for their graduation dresses. It was obvious that he was gay and a few of my meathead students began teasing him and then proceeded to take his tape measurer and dance around with it.

At first, I thought nothing of it. If that ever happened to me, I would be assertive, but then I thought about Angel in that situation. It angered me and I exploded.

"Mr. Collins," said one of my favorite students, Amanda. She sat in the front row and always had her blonde hair in a tight bun and her clothes were always presentable. "I think expulsion is a tad bit harsh. I completely support homosexuals, but some people have different views on it."

I chuckled. She always had to start a debate. "It is a matter of humane and civil behavior. We are not to judge people who aren't like us. It is the right and _mature _thing to accept all people."

"What is your view on this subject?" she shot back.

"I support everyone and accept all people," I said calmly.

"Are you married?" one of the meatheads yelled out from the back of the room.

"I am not."

"Are you dating?"

"Yes," I said, sitting on my desk and rubbing chalk out of the creases on the skin of my hands.

"Is she pretty?"

"Gorgeous," I grinned. A few people let out _ooo's _and _ahh's._

"Do you bang he-"

"We are done!" I said sternly. "Now, open your books and we are going to look at the history and views of anarchy." I sat in my chair and stared at the framed picture of all of my friends last New Years, right after we all met.

Angel was next to me, kissing my cheek. Mimi was leaning on Roger and gripping his hand, as he stared at her in admiration. Maureen was front and center, in her black cat suit and grinning, with her arm around Joanne, who was wasted and holding a bottle of stoli. Yum! Mark was at the end, laughing at all of us. It was a perfect picture.

Next to that frame was another one that was a lot older. I was in the loft, with my arm around Mark and Benny. We were all grinning and our mouths were open in mid-yell, as if we were saying _cheese!_ Maureen was lying on her back across our laps. She had been dating Mark at the time. Roger, with his spiked bleach blonde hair, was sitting on top of the couch, which is probably why it is being held together with duck tape these days. Stupid fat ass pretty boy! April was sitting cross legged on the couch below him. He had his arms wrapped around her. Looking back, her face almost seemed to show that she would commit suicide. It was a dark and had a sad smile. Her shaggy red hair hung in her eyes and she seemed to be just waiting, waiting for the moment when she would take her life. I shuddered.

I didn't want to think of the past anymore. I wanted to just clear my head and-

"Mr. Collins!" called Amanda. "Are we going to start the lesson?"

* * *

Review please! 


	17. Lost in the Chaos

_Disclaimer: _ _Hate to say it, but **i** don't own RENT._

* * *

**Lost in the Chaos**

(Mimi's POV)

_May 31, 1991 3:15 a.m. eastern standard time_

I was standing in the kitchen, looking through the cabinets for something to cook. Mark and Erika were at work and Roger was taking a nap, so I could attempt to cook without getting yelled at. I wasn't….the best cook, no lie. But I still enjoyed to experiment once in a while.

When I actually sat back and thought about the humor of my cooking, it made me sad. In my family, growing up we stuck to strict Spanish laws. Women were expected to cook and clean. Most importantly, we were expected to be carried over the threshold of our house by our groom on our wedding day. For a woman to leave the house on her own two feet and alone was bad luck brought upon the family and the young girl. My older sister was carried out of the threshold and I snuck out at night 6 months later. My parents were so ashamed of me and visited me once and told me I disgraced the family.

I wiped a tear that was coming down my cheek. I needed to focus if I wanted to be able to cook a decent meal. I put the pot on the stove and boiled some water, still not sure what I was making. The door slid open and Mark walked over to the pot, trying to see what was in it.

"Are you cooking?" he asked nervously.

"Shut up!" I cried. "It is going to be very good."

"Yeah!" he scoffed, throwing his bag on the couch. He stretched and slipped his shoes off.

"You are home early."

"I did some footage the other day that was used for today's segment and I wasn't needed for the rest of the day, so I decided to come home."

"That is good," I laughed. "You can help me cook!"

"God help us!"

"Okay," I said sternly. "We are changing the subject."

"How about we talk about us?" Mark cleared his throat and came next to me.

"What do you mean?" I said quickly. "We already had this conversation. We are nothing. I have-"

"I didn't mean that!"

"Sorry," I mumbled, angry at myself that I exploded on him.

"I mean," he said. "You did tell Roger that I was the father, right?" He waited for my response and saw that I was avoiding his eye contact. He suddenly groaned. "You didn't tell him? This makes so much sense, because the yesterday he told me that there was going to be a few things changing around here that he was very excited about and that it was going to be a huge responsibility."

I think I died on the spot. "You told him you were the father?" It made so much sense. Last night Roger came in and kissed me on the cheek and went straight to bed. I thought maybe he was just tired from work, but looking back I think I remember a door slamming, indicating he was pissed off.

"No," Mark said. "I didn't say anything."

So maybe Roger didn't slam the door. And I was overreacting. Oh well. "Thanks for not telling."

"For now," he mumbled.

"What?" I snapped.

"I won't tell…….for now."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You cannot obviously think that you are going to go through this pregnancy with Rog thinking it is his!" exclaimed Mark angrily. "You need to set the record straight."

"I cannot tell him."

"You promised!"

"Mark he is my boyfriend and I am going to be screwed if he finds out," I cried.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU HAD SEX WITH ME!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Veins were popping out of his neck and he was breathing heavily. "YOU CANNOT JUST PUSH THE BLAME ON OTHER PEOPLE!"

"Please be quiet!" I hissed. "Roger is napping."

"FUCK YOU!" he spat. "YOU NEED TO GROW UP!"

"AT LEAST I DON'T HIDE BEHIND A CAMERA EVERYDAY OF MY LIFE. YOU ARE PATHETIC!"

"I'm pathetic?" he laughed.

"You have always been jealous! And I am sick of it! I don't have to listen to anything you say!"

"Are you bipolar? You just told me two days ago you would tell him!"

"That was before you came in here yelling at me!"

"AND WHY AM I YELLING AT YOU? IT IS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T TELL ROGER!"

"I HATE YO-"

"What the hell is going on?" Roger asked fiercely, coming out of our bedroom. He saw Mark and me, staring each other down and breathing heavily. "What happened?"

"I need to tell you something Roger," Mark said coolly.

"Shut up!" I snapped. "Roger, we need to talk."

"Hell yes you do," Mark answered.

"Shut up Mark!" Roger said. "What is it Meems?"

"Well, a long……" I stopped and glared at Mark. "Do you mind?" He just stood there stupidly, waiting for me to tell Roger. "Oh my god, forget it!" I grabbed Roger's hand and dragged him out of the loft and stood outside the door. I crossed my arms and took a deep breath. I looked down the damp stairwell and felt like I was about to cry.

"Is everything alright?" Roger asked softly.

"Have you ever tried to tell someone the truth, but they misinterpreted it?" I didn't even wait for his answer. "The other day, when I told you about the baby, you never let me finish what I was saying. I really wanted to tell you something, but you got all excited and I just couldn't do it."

"Tell me now then."

"I am almost 4 months pregnant. 4 months ago, a lot has happened to me and you."

"4 months ago….as in February?" Roger asked weakly.

I nodded, tears flowing down my cheeks. I didn't make a sound though.

"I am not the father?" he gulped, the color draining from his face. He suddenly looked older, wiser. The creases in his skin lit up and he looked wrinkled and worn out. It scared me.

"I am sorry," I whispered.

"Mark is the father?" he asked, still staring at the ground.

"I am sorry," I began crying even harder. I hugged myself and looked away from his pained face. I was still not making any noise, however, almost afraid to speak.

"I……I just……..I cannot……" Roger stopped stuttering, looked at me, and walked down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" I choked. He didn't turn around. "Please come back. I said I was sorry! I didn't mean to! Roger, baby! Roger I love you!"

He never stopped or acknowledged me. He walked right out of the building. And out of my life, I believe.

"ROGER, I AM SORRY! I LOVE YOU! COME BACK!"

I am sorry, Roger.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_June 2, 1991 7:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

"_Hey dad!" I turned around and saw my son coming into the loft. I grinned and went to hug him. He was 7 years old and had curly brown Spanish hair and glasses like mine. He had his red gym bag over his shoulder._

"_You ready for a fun weekend?" I asked._

"_Yep!" he yelled._

_She came in behind him. The mother of my child! She was positively glowing. She had on a white shirt that puffed out at the bottom, making her look skinnier than she really was. She had her hair clipped back and a pair of jeans and flats. She looked exhausted, but despite it all, she was smiling._

"_He couldn't wait to see you!" she grinned._

"_Really?" I replied. "I couldn't wait to see him, either."_

"_So I will pick him up at 5 on Sunday," she called over her shoulder._

"_Wait," I called, chasing after her. "What are you doing tonight?"_

"_I was going to heat up leftovers and watch a pathetic movie," she said sadly._

"_You had another fight?"_

"_I don't want to talk about it!" she snapped. I put an arm on her shoulder. She looked up at me. "We fought again!" She pointed to our son. "He doesn't even like him anymore! I don't know what to do! We cannot support each other! I am so done with him. We are moving out and I am scared."_

"_You can move in with me," I suggested slowly._

_She laughed and shook her head. She pulled away from me and made her way to leave. _

"_We could move to the west," I yelled. "Just you, me, and him! We can leave behind everything. We would be fine! I promise you it will work. I will get a job and you can stay home with him! We will do fine and we can spend holidays at my mom's house, so he can see his grandma. We would never have to come back to the Lower East Village! How would you like that?"_

_She looked at me quizzically. "Are you serious?"_

"_It would make me the happiest man alive."_

"_Oh!" she squealed. She ran to hug me and our son came in between us. We all hugged and then she turned to me. Our lips were two centimeters apart. We were just about to touch lips. Oh, how I have longed for the taste of her lips. It had been too long and I had thought about them everyday. I was-_

BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

I awoke with a start, falling off the bed, which was really two mattresses thrown on the floor, stacked up. I looked out my window and saw a car, which had a broken window, setting off the car alarm. I sighed and went to lie back down, but I couldn't fall back asleep. I wanted to go back to my dream. It was so realistic and I loved it.

I gave up on the idea of sleeping and came out into the living room. Roger was sitting on the window sill. His face was unshaven and he looked tired and pissed off. I had not seen him since Mimi told him I was the father. He had left and not come back. Mimi had been freaking out over his disappearance and then she put herself in her bedroom and cried all day. I knew he would be back though. He used to leave like that when April and him would fight and during his withdrawal he would go off, but he always came back, always.

"I haven't seen you awake this early ever," I laughed uncomfortably. Roger turned and stared at me. He took a deep breath and then looked back out the window. "Listen Roger, Mimi has been really upset and-"

"Whatever," he mumbled. "She can do whatever. I don't feel like dealing with her, I will just leave or something."

"You can't!" I whispered.

"Roger?" Mimi's voice came into the conversation. She was standing in the doorway, wearing Roger's gray sweatpants and a big green sweatshirt. She was holding a tissue and her nose and eyes were bright red. A blanket was wrapped around her frail and pregnant body. She took a step forward and then stopped, with her mouth open.

Roger looked at Mimi in disgust, but then stopped. "What?" he asked softly.

"Are you mad?" she whispered. "I thought we were over this. We promised each other and forgave each other."

"I am not mad," he said, not looking at her. "I just don't think I can ever love you again." Mimi's face dropped. Roger turned to me and said quickly. "I will get my stuff or something and leave. I will maybe move in with Collins for a little."

"I will leave!" Mimi volunteered, holding back tears. "I started this shit."

"No one has to leave," I said quickly. I was afraid if I didn't speak soon, someone would walk out for the last time. "Can we please just all wait and talk about this. Mimi has talked to me and you have talked to Mimi, but we never had a full out conversation."

"I am going to be late for work," Roger said, ignoring me and pushing into the bathroom.

"Me too," Mimi said, slamming the door and beginning to cry.

I threw myself on the couch and let out a long, good sigh. It felt great to just let go for one moment in a lifetime of chaos.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_June 2, 1991 10:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I walked into the loft, in search of Mark. I heard a lot of yelling this morning and I knew that there was something going on between Mark, Mimi, and Roger. Mark told me that he didn't want me to know about it though and that all would be explained in time. I didn't question him, however. I didn't want to get him anymore upset. He seemed so tired and sad lately. I needed to be supportive and caring. And I must say I was doing a good job at being there for him without asking questions.

There was a note on the fridge from Mark, saying he would be back around noon. I grabbed a handful of cereal and shoved it in my mouth. I turned around, however, and they all fell out of my mouth onto the dusty floor. In front of me, there was a cloud of steam and Roger in a towel wrapped around his waist. He was shoving a Q-tip into his ear and looking at his feet. He looked up and our eyes met. He jumped slightly, dropping his towel. My eyes were immediately drawn to him. His leg muscles were toned so perfectly and matched with his rock hard abs. I stared at his body that was fit for a God. I was blushing, but I couldn't pull away from him. It was all too beautiful.

"I…..I……oh my…." I stuttered stupidly, still staring at him.

Roger didn't pick up his towel. He threw his Q-tip in the garbage can and walked closer to me. "What are you here for?"

"I was looking for Mark," I replied, my eyes still the size of saucers.

"I am up here," he grinned. He touched my chin with his wet, smooth hand. He lifted in up to his eyes. The minute we connected gazes, I was lost in it all.

* * *

Uh-oh! Tell me what you think! Reviews are needed a lot for this chapter. (: 


	18. Deja Vu

Hi! I have a few things to say. I love this story, but I am getting a little restless, so while I am working on this, I am going to post another story I wrote a while ago. I will be posting one chapter a week, depending on how you guys like it. So, updating may be slow for a while, because I have to write more for this and I am going to be posting two things at once. I also am not going to post Without You I Die until I am done with these two stories. If you guys have any problems or really want me to post something, just tell me in a review. I just want to keep you guys happy! So that is that, I had to get my priorities straight. (o:

_Disclaimer: If I owned RENT, I would not be writing FanFics._

* * *

**_Déjà Vu_**

(Angel's POV)

_June 2, 1991 10:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

_Dear Collins,_

_I am writing this letter, because I need to go away for some time. I really don't want to, but I promise I will be back. A lot has happened in my past and I really cannot explain everything. I will be back by the fourth of July and I will have much to tell you. For now all I can say is that I made some promises to protect my family and these promises are going into play now. Tell Mimi I love her and that I am praying for her. Make sure Roger and Mark do not fight. Also, keep in touch with Maureen and Joanne. I know you will, but I still feel the urge to say it. I love you and take care of yourself lover._

_Angel_

_p.s. Please give the envelopes on the counter to everyone else_

I left the letter on the table and kissed Collins' forehead. He was sleeping late, because he had no classes today. I flicked off the bedroom light, grabbed my bag, and walked out the front door. Before I descended down the steps, I made sure I had my gun secured between the clothes in my duffle bag. I slipped my hand in and laid my finger on the trigger, slowly rubbing the smooth metal. Then, I left my future and descended back into my past.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_June 2, 1991 10:45 a.m. eastern standard time_

"So that is why Roger wants to leave," I finished. Maureen and Joanne stared at me in disbelief.

"You left Mimi alone with him?" Maureen asked.

"She is at work."

"Oh," Joanne said. "Technically, he has no say in what happens to the child. Mark and Mimi are responsible."

"But Roger cannot leave!" Maureen yelled. "Mimi needs him, especially now!"

"There can be serious legal consequences if he does interfere with the baby, though," Joanne shot back. She gripped the steering wheel tighter and looked ahead of her. The two of them saw me at the grocery store and felt obligated to drive me home. Maureen turned around in her seat and stared at me.

"What do you think about all of this?" Maureen asked, resting her chin on the seat.

"I think that Mimi and I should raise the child together, but we don't have to live in the same house, although that would make it easier. I am not asking for a relationship, I just want to be a part of its life."

"And you can be," Joanne said. "But if Mimi denies you, it could turn ugly and she could bring you to court for visitation rights."

"She is not that uncivil Jo!" Maureen squealed. "I think it will all work out. But you need to talk to Roger _alone_, before the three of you talk in a group. He is your best friend."

"Thanks for the ride guys," I said, as Joanne pulled up in front of the house. "Oh yeah…and the advice helped too!"

"Good luck," they said at the same time.

I walked up the stairs and in the process tripped over the step.

"Fucking perfect," I mumbled. I picked myself up. I hated falling, it made me feel so vulnerable and it just sucked. I opened the loft door and froze.

There, on the couch, the same couch that Mimi and I had sex on exactly 4 months ago was my best friend and my girlfriend. They were both naked and in the process of making love. I opened my mouth to say something, but couldn't speak. There were so many things running through my head. I wanted to die. Now I knew how Roger felt. I couldn't run and I couldn't approach them. So I just took the loft door and slammed it, shaking the whole building.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?" I yelled. Erika pushed herself off of Mark and tried covering her naked body with her hands.

"Mark," she cried. "I….I….it isn't what it looks like."

I came forward angrily, not knowing what was going to happen next. I was so pissed off. I wanted to break something or kill someone so bad. Erika hid behind an equally naked Roger, who looked scared, small, and bewildered at the scene before him.

"WHAT THE HELL?" I screamed.

Great, now I sounded just like Roger. This was crazy. It was fucking _déjà vu._

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 2, 1991 10:50 a.m. eastern standard time_

I walked into my building and saw Erika and Mark, fighting on the stairs. I slipped past them, unseen. Erika was wrapped in a robe and barefoot. Mark was bright red.

"Why would you do this?"

"He said it was payback for something you did," Erika yelled. "What did you do?"

"Stop changing the subject!" Mark groaned. "You fucking ruined everything! How could you do this to me….and with my best friend? It doesn't add up!"

"What does not add up, Mark is the secrets you have obviously been hiding from me," Erika cried. "What was Roger getting payback for? It was obviously something important."

"Why did you do it?" Mark asked again.

"I just told you!" Erika cried.

"NO!" Mark shouted. "You told me why Roger did it! But why did you do it?"

"I don't know," Erika whined. "I….I…..BECAUSE I WANTED TO OKAY!"

Mark looked at her with stinging tears in his eyes. "You love him?"

"No….I mean……I may have feelings for…."Erika stopped and stared at her boyfriend. "You have been pushing me away ever since I got here. If you don't want me here just tell me. I have been so supportive and caring and you just hide everything from me. We don't even share a room!"

"That is what is bothering you?" Mark yelled. "I got you Mimi's old apartment. I have cared about you. You are probably one of the best things that ever happened to me!"

"THEN PROVE IT!" she cried.

"Prove what?"

"Prove that you care about me and that I _am_ the best thing that ever happened to you! You don't act that way at all! You barely treat me like I am here. You don't acknowledge me, Mark!"

"Yes I do!"

I moved a little quicker, up the stairs. I didn't want them to think I was eavesdropping. I slid the door open and Roger was sitting on the couch in sweatpants and no shirt.

"Hi," I said slowly. "Um…do you know why they are fighting?"

"Erika was unfaithful," he said casually.

"She cheated?" I gasped. Ha! I knew that little skinny bitch was dirty scum. Poor Mark! "With who?"

"It's funny," Roger said coldly. "I recall you cheating and yet when you hear about someone else, you gasp. It doesn't add up. It's okay for you, but not for someone else."

"I never said that," I whispered. Why was he doing this? We spoke about that situation and worked everything out. It was so long ago. This is ridiculous. "We are over this, remember?"

"I can forgive you, but never forget about it," Roger said pushing past me.

Mark stormed into the room followed by Erika.

"Fuck you Roger!" Mark yelled, pointing his index finger at Roger's bare chest. "You are the biggest-"

"Don't act surprised! I said I would get payback!" Roger laughed.

"But like this?" Mark cried. "Why are you laughing?"

"Roger, Mark, please stop!" Erika cried.

What the hell was going on? Someone needed to fill me in before I killed them all. I hated not knowing what was going on! "What happened?" I asked slowly, almost afraid of the answer. They all stared at me. Erika actually wouldn't make eye contact with me. Mark looked helpless and Roger looked amused.

"Roger is a fucking asshole! That is what happened!" Mark threw his hands up in the air and turned around, shoving Erika off of him when she tried to slip her arm through his. He ran his hand through his blonde hair and took a deep breath.

"Roger?" I asked, looking into his green eyes. "What happened?"

"Mimi," Roger said, towering over me. "You have no idea how much you hurt me! And now I hope you know how I feel."

"You mean you-"

"Yes," Mark yelled. "He _fucked _Erika. He-"

I turned and slapped Roger right across the face as hard as I could. I had no tears. My face was only red and I was breathing heavy. I never said sorry or took it back. I just stared at the imprint I left on his face.

"Now do you know how I felt?" he asked coyly. He barely reacted to my slap. He just smirked slightly. Did he think this was a fucking sick joke?

"Do you think this is funny?" I cried. His face clouded over and he stepped away from me, giving me some breathing room.

"No," he said. I could've sworn he was about to cry. "I don't think it is funny. I think it is payback."

* * *

I am going to need a lot of feedback for this chapter. And I was wondering if anyone noticed that Mark's reaction when he walked in on Roger and Erika was the exact same reaction Roger had at the beginning of the story when he walked in on Mark and Mimi?

Reviews love


	19. Love Heals

Sorry for the delay everyone! I spent some time looking at where this story was going. The next few chapter will be slow, but stay with the story and I know you guys will like it (hopefully!)

Also there is a lot of letters, a flashback, and a confrontation between one of the couples in this chapter that could end in a makeup?!?

Or not. Read and find out!

_Disclaimer: Not mine._

* * *

**Love Heals**

(Maureen's POV)

_June 2, 1991 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was dancing around my living room dancing to the radio. Joanne had run out to the office and left me with an afternoon to myself. They weren't answering the phone at the loft, so I decided to have a little "me time."

There was a knock at the door and I walked over to it and looked out of the peep hole. Collins was standing there, holding a pile of envelopes. I threw open the door and pulled him out of the hallway and into our apartment.

"Dance with me!" I squealed.

"No thanks," he sighed. "I have to run, but I wanted to give these to you. I need to go and work some things out. Angel is gone and-"

"Angel is gone?" I cried. Angel would never leave Collins. "Sit down, tell me!"

"I don't have time Mo!" he said, pulling away from me and throwing his hands up. "I am sorry, but I am too preoccupied. Listen, no one is answering at the loft, so I am leaving the other notes here. Just give them to the rest of the gang later. Only read yours Maureen, I mean it!"

"Hang in there Tom," I said hugging him.

"Thanks Mo," he said into my hair. He walked out of the apartment closing the door lightly. That is what I loved about him. He never slammed doors, even when he was mad. He said it was a waste of time and it was too noisy to deal with. I locked it and looked at the pile he gave me. I flipped through them till I found one with my name written on hastily. I put the rest on the kitchen table and then sat on the couch to open mine.

**_Dear Maureen,_**

**_I know this seems formal, but it really isn't. Just think of it as a summary of what is happening to me. I need to go away for a little and I don't want anyone to be mad at my sudden disappearance. A lot happened to me when I was younger. I needed to do some things that I didn't want to do. I needed to protect my mother, so I joined a gang in the heart of the city. I need to go clean up my past a little and I promise I will be back. If I don't come home, please take care of Tom and always love Joanne. She is the best thing that has happened to you and she cares about you more than anything. You may be the craziest, but you keep everyone else sane. So never change darling._**

**_Angel_**

I stared at the letter. It was too much to comprehend. Angel was in a gang, as in a gangster? It was a joke, right? It seemed like she was signing a yearbook, by saying _never change. _Was this mission dangerous for her to say _if_ I come back? Oh my god! I didn't know what to think. I went to go look at everyone else's, but stopped.

If it was the last thing Angel wrote, I wanted to respect her wishes and not read them. I put mine in the desk drawer and then sat back on the couch. My fingers were itching to open them and I couldn't stop glancing at the pile in the kitchen. I walked over there and stared at them. They were so crisp and white and perfectly folded.

Then again, I thought, Angel told me to never change.

I grinned at the envelopes waiting patiently for me to open them. I sat down and picked up the first one.

What? Angel told me to _never change! _I need to respect her wishes! Duh!

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_June 2, 1991 4:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was sitting in my old house in Harlem around 4. No one was home. I think my mother was at work. She was apparently still a teacher. She is definitely going to overwork herself.

Not a lot has changed. The yellow shutter paint was still peeling. The key was still under the doormat and the garage door was still broken, so that it never closed all the way, but simply stopped a foot above the ground. There was a broken flower pot with soil pouring out of it on the porch and a baseball was lying in front of the door.

I had let myself in and made my way up to my old room, not acknowledging anything else. The only new thing I noticed was a brown package in the kitchen that was lying open with packing peanuts spilling out. at the table.

She was picking at her salad adn

So, now I was in my room and looking at my old and untouched stuff. The sheets were clean and the bed made, just the way it was when I left. I looked through my junk drawer. It contained some small toys and makeup from my mom and a few books. One book in particular, I snatched right away, gasping, because I had totally forgotten about it.

It was a brown leather book that was curling at the edges. It had some sort of water stain on the front and a tear in the binding. Despite it all, however, it looked sturdy and trustworthy, which it was. It was my diary. I opened the stale pages and flipped slowly until I came across an entry I wrote when I was about 12. It was the entry that was the beginning of everything that had happened.

**_Dear Diary,_**

**_Joey made a deal with some guys he met at school. He wouldn't tell me what it was, though. He just said that all we had were each other, because Ma and Pa weren't always going to be there. He scares me sometimes when he talks. He told Ma that he wanted to disown her Spanish heritage and take up dad's Italian roots. He won't answer when she calls him José. He only responds to Joey now. It is really annoying. I feel bad, because my name is Italian and his was meant to be Spanish, so our family's heritages could be spread out. Now Ma had nothing to hang on to. I think I am going to try to add a little Spanish in my life everyday. I understand the language, which is a start. Mama will be real happy._**

**_Speaking of Mama, I told her I thought I was gay. She told me that I was not to tell my father or brother. She said Italian men get angry quickly and that being gay was very unacceptable. I feel so dirty lately. I want my family to be proud of me, but being a boy is no fun. I wish I could be a girl, so it wouldn't be unacceptable. That would be great_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angelo_**

I laughed and flipped the page. The rest of my entries were kind of boring. Then there was a large gap of time when I didn't write. Then, a dried rose fell out of one page. There it was! The day I had been putting out of my memory. I don't even remember writing about it. I don't think I wanted to read it, either. This encounter made it so fresh in my memory, that now I could remember every little detail. And that scared me.

"_Angelo!" my mother called. I stood in front of the mirror. She came into my bedroom. She frowned and gently walked over putting her arms around me. She had short black hair that was always perfect. It fell in front of her face as she bent down to help me. She began fixing my tie like a pro. I smiled at her and she kissed my forehead._

"_You look so handsome," she whispered. How could this have happened? My mother looked so small and helpless. My father wasn't speaking to anyone over the death and I knew that their marriage was on the rocks._

"_Mama," I said. "I think we should leave this town."_

"_Is your little boyfriend coming?" she asked, ignoring me. "He is very nice. Maybe we should tell your dad soon, because life is too short to keep secrets and-"_

"_Mom," I said. "You have cracked and it isn't safe here anymore."_

"_You are all I have left," she said. "Your father suspected you were gay and he was ashamed. He is leaving for other reasons, though, not you. He loves us all, but he needs to leave and find himself. Just please promise me you won't leave too. I cannot leave. This is my home and I want you to be here with me forever baby."_

_My mom was not crying, but I felt her pain. Why would she think I was going to leave? Why would dad abandon me? Why would Joey die? Why is all of this happening?_

I stopped thinking about it all. It hurt too much. That day, that conversation, led to so much more and I couldn't think about that. Not now.

All I could think was that when I was 15, I found out a lot about myself. I discovered that my parents were getting divorced, I discovered the racism against homosexuals, I discovered my 18 year old brother was dead, and I found out I could be next.

o o o o o

(Joanne's POV)

_June 2, 1991 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I came in the house around 3. I was home very early, so I thought Maureen would be shocked or excited. But there was no movement from her. Maureen was sitting at the kitchen table with a pile of envelopes.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Collins dropped off letters from Angel, because she is gone now."

"She died?" I practically screamed.

"No," Maureen said, not looking at me. "She left for a while, but she gave letters to each of us. I started to open them, but I only read Roger's. It was so personal and it had a weird quote at the end. It confused me and made me feel guilty about reading it, so I stopped."

I didn't know what to say. "Where is mine?"

"Right here," she said in a blank voice and handed me an envelope. I put it on the bookcase and took off my coat. Then, I sat on the couch, ready to get comfortable. I had no work and for once I was looking forward to the freedom. Just then there was a knock on the door.

Maureen walked over and yanked it open. Mimi was standing there, crying. She threw her arms around Maureen. I quickly ran to shut the door and get Mimi some water.

"We will need something a little stronger," Maureen stated. "For _all_ of us."

I made us some drinks, putting plenty of vodka in Mimi's. When I came back to the living room, Mimi was on the couch with Maureen.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Roger," she mumbled.

"What the fuck did he do?" Maureen yelled, standing up. I put my arm on her shoulder and sat her down. Mimi took a deep breath.

"He got payback," she said. "He got payback with Erika. He used her to hurt Mark and me like we hurt him in February."

"Huh?" Maureen asked.

"Mark walked in on them fucking," she cried. "And he could care less, because he is such an asshole and I hate him. I hope he fucking dies and-"

"You do not hate him!" I said. "You are just in a-"

"Joanne," Maureen yelled. "He is a total asshole and deserves to die. I am going to kick the shit out of him the next time I see him. He is a dead man."

"Maureen," I whispered. "They love they have does not just die."

"They love we _had_," Mimi said. "I can never love him again."

"I am going to call the loft and give him a piece of my mind," Maureen mumbled, walking to the kitchen. I sat next to Mimi.

"The love is still there," I said. "You just dropped out of it for a little."

Mimi stared at me and shook her head in protest. I smiled warmly, hoping she would realize how this whole thing would blow over and she and him would be a couple soon enough.

"I…..I….I do still love him," Mimi stuttered. Then she looked up at the ceiling. "I think. I mean, I really feel that I can never truly forgive him. But I also know I will never be over him and I will never really stop loving him. It just hurts so much to be around him."

"Love heals Mimi," I said. I looked back at the kitchen, where Maureen was dialing into the phone furiously. "It heals, it truly does."

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_June 3, 1991 6:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

It wasn't my plan to hurt Mimi yesterday. It was kind of unexpected, but I thought if I took the opportunity, then I would feel so much better and I would feel closure. I composed myself as such an asshole through it all, but last night, when I went to bed, I felt so empty. Mimi had went to Maureen and Joanne's place and told them everything. Erika had gone down to Mimi's old apartment. I wanted her to leave right away, so Mimi could have a place to stay, but Mark insisted Erika stay there. The couple had not spoken since everything. I heard Mark walking around the loft and his footsteps scared me, which shouldn't have happened, because I was bigger than him. Maybe the guilt was what pushed me over the edge of fear.

I had been lying in my bed all night. Nothing much had happened, except for me asking myself if everything would have been different, if I would have been a man in the situation and just not have needed payback. But I wasn't a man, I was immature, and payback ruined everything.

The loft door slid open. I jumped up and walked over to my door. There was a slight crack in it. I looked through it and saw Mimi. She was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt. Her nose was red and her eyes were blotchy and puffy. She sat on the couch in a huff and sniffled. She had a pile of envelopes in her hand. She flipped through them and shoved one under Mark's bedroom door, where he was sleeping. I could hear his snoring. Then, she came to my door and bent down. I still stared through the crack and her face was an inch from mine. I took a deep breath and I knew she could feel the warmth on her cheek. She looked up, touched the door gently, figured she imagined my breath, and began to cry again. She didn't know I was awake or that I was right on the other side, feeling the same pain. She fumbled with another white envelope and then shoved it under the door. It hit my hand, causing it to slide back to her. I cursed under my breath. She looked at it, puzzled, and pushed it a little harder. It went sliding across the floor. Then she got off of her knees and went to sit back on the couch.

I stared at the envelope she left. What could she possibly want to say that was so important and secretive that she couldn't say it to my face? I was confused as I picked up the paper, wiped some dust off of it, and tiptoed back to the bed. I slid my finger under a small opening in the sealed flap. I ripped it quietly, so she wouldn't hear and unfolded the paper.

**_Roger_**

**_I need to leave for a little, but that is not why I am writing this. You and Mimi have been through too much to let it go. I guess what I am asking is that you stop hurting each other. I cannot see her in pain anymore and I hate seeing you unhappy. I love you both and maybe for the time I am gone, you can see that life is short and that you cannot let go of the ones you love._**

**_Angel_**

**_p.s. If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was._**

I dropped the letter. It was so powerful and true. I ran out of the bedroom and straight to the couch. Mimi was lying there, looking as if she was trying to fall asleep, but she opened her eyes when she heard the door open.

"Mimi," I said. "I know you can never forgive me. And maybe I can never forgive you too, but we can't give up one this. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know that-"

"What you did," Mimi said slowly. "It went beyond anything that could ever happen. I would never deliberately hurt you. What I did with Mark was not some sick form of payback. It was a spontaneous mistake."

"So was this!" I whined.

"No," she said calmly and clearly. "No payback is ever a mistake."

"Mimi," I whispered. I bent down next to the couch. "I really don't want to lose you."

"Prove it," she said. Then she closed her eyes, squeezing out a salty tear. "We need to be apart. I am going back to my mom's house and I really don't want to hear what you have to say. We both crossed the line." She stopped and took a deep breath. Then she buried her face in the cushions and sobbed. "It just hurts too much to see you anymore. You really hurt me Roger."

I stood up and backed away. "I am sorry," I whispered. I was astonished that she wasn't going to love me anymore. I laid a hand on the back of her head and slowly walked back to my room. That was it. It was over. I lay down, curled up into a ball, and tried to block out Mimi' sobs, which I caused.

_If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it is yours. If it doesn't, it never was._

* * *

So there it is! Just to be nice I will give you guys some spoilers and a poll for my own knowledge: 

Spoilers:

Mimi discovers a way to make up for her disloyality to her Spanish family's beliefs

We meet Angel's mom

Maureen finds love in the oddest of places

The Bohemians crash a wedding

Poll:

Should Roger and Mimi:

a. Stay together! They are meant for each other!

b. Split up! It is about time for a change

c. Kill each other. I am so sick of them fighting.

d. Surprise me, because I don't know what to say!

**Reviewsss!**


	20. Unbelievable

This an extremely long chapter, but it has a lot in it. First, let me thank all my reviewers. You guys are awesome and don't stop giving me feedback. So thanks to: rockerperson128, RENThead4LIFE96, LonelyxLover42, Data Girl 3, MoowitMi324, Iluvorli2, and MimiluvsRoger4lyf.

This chapter will need a lot of feedback. I was really depressed writing this, but that is okay. Also, if you guys don't know Kaci Brown's song _Unbelievable, _I suggest you listen to it before reading, because at the end, in between talking, I will have the lyrics. The song means a lot to me and adds a lot to the story in my opinion.

_Disclaimer: stop asking! I don't own RENT. Or Unbelievable_

* * *

**Unbelievable**

(Erika's POV)

_June 3, 1991 9:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I walked up to the loft with every intention of apologizing. I wanted to say sorry to Mimi for butting into her life. I wanted to say sorry to Roger for messing up his love life. I also wanted to slap him, but I was in no position to do that. Most importantly, though, I wanted to say sorry to Mark. I did some heavy thinking last night and I knew that I had truly hurt Mark. Why would I be so stupid? I felt so bad and I wanted him to take me back, because I loved him. I loved his goofy little smile and his dorky clothes. I loved how he was always behind that camera, but when he came out from behind it; his blue eyes would sparkle as if he knew something that no one else did. It was his own secret world. There was so much he was hiding from me and that made me angry and captivated me at the same time.

I knocked lightly and Roger opened the door. I froze up. Damn he was gorgeous!

"Is Mark….here?" I asked slowly.

"He is sleeping," Roger said. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to…." I trailed off. "Can we talk?" Roger stepped out next to me and closed the door behind him. I took a deep breath.

"There really is nothing to be said," he stated. "I did it to hurt Mimi and Mark."

"You used me?" I blurted out.

"No," he said quickly, grabbing my arm. "I mean….sort of…..I like you, but not in that way. I shouldn't have done that."

I walked into the loft. I wanted to say sorry or forgive him, but I as so angry he used me. I cannot say that I didn't see it coming, but he just made me want to love him. It was so fucked up.

Mark was coming out of his room just as I walked in. I ran over and threw my arms around him, hoping that if I buried myself in him, than the thought of Roger would go away. And I think it worked. He put his arms around me too.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"I know you are," he said. "We can talk about it later." He kissed me on the cheek. I was surprised at how quickly he was responding to me. I didn't question him, though. I just kept hugging him. Mimi came out of the bedroom with a box of belongings. She saw me and her face dropped.

"Hi Mimi," I said. "Where are you going?"

"Moving out," she said briskly.

"What?" I asked, pulling away from Mark. "Why? Is this because of what happened?" Damn! That was a stupid question of course it was.

"You think?" she asked sarcastically. I stared at her, trying to think of what to say next. I went to apologize, but she kept talking. "Don't say sorry, because I know you aren't."

"I am, though," I said. "We all are." Roger came into the room and nodded solemnly. I could tell he did not want her to go at all. They loved each other so much. Who was I to have any feelings for Roger Davis?

"I don't want you to feel sorry for me," Mimi started dangerously. There was a deep everlasting anger in her eyes. "I want you to feel sorry for yourself. Look at you, you just got here, to this family, and there are so many secrets from you."

"What?" I asked slowly.

"Did you ever ask Roger why he needed comeback?" Mimi asked. "Or why Mark is so touchy on that subject? Do you even know what happened back in February? Do you know what Roger has-"

Roger and Mark jumped forward. Roger grabbed Mimi's arms pleadingly, and in the process lifted her off the ground so that her feet were dangling a foot off the ground. Mark put his hand on her mouth.

"Let go of me!" she yelled.

"Stop," I said. "I have a right to know and if you don't tell me, then I will find out from Mimi."

The two boys looked at me. They were hopeless and lost. They had no choice but to let the Latina go. Her feet hit the ground again and she walked over to me.

"Roger got payback on Mark," Mimi said, staring me down. "Mark and I did what you and Roger did. It happened back in February. All of it got worked out by the time you got here, but I guess someone was never over it!" She turned to look at Roger.

"And would you be?"

"I would learn to forgive. I wouldn't hurt you in the same way! You are supposed to love me, not give me the same pain you felt. That is not what two people who care about each other do. I would never wish that upon you!"

"So why did you do it in the first place?"

"I don't know Roger! What do you want me to tell you?"

Roger was silent. Mimi turned back to face me.

"I have AIDS and Mark got tested for them after February, but he was negative." I sighed when Mimi told me that. It felt so good to know that my Mark was safe.

Wait! Did I just say _my_ Mark? Oh my goodness!

"So you guys had sex and Roger caught you?" I asked slowly.

"Yes," Mimi said. "So he figured he would get payback with you, so he could hurt both Mark and me. Kind of sick isn't it?"

"A little."

"You don't even know the best part," Mimi said. "Roger had AIDS."

My whole world stopped. "He is positive?" I asked. Mimi nodded. I heard Roger say something and Mark began yelling at Roger. I felt like I was going to pass out. My life was over. I slept with someone who was positive. I could have it. I could get AIDS. I wanted to cry.

"How did you not get AIDS?" I asked Mark quietly.

"Oh," Mimi stated. "He got something better. He is going to be a father."

"What?" Roger asked quickly. "WHAT?"

"What the hell were you thinking?" I yelled at Roger. I was so angry. "Why wouldn't you tell me, you selfish bastard?" He pushed me aside.

"Mark is the father?" he asked Mimi, ignoring me. She just stared at him. "You little slut."

"Don't even start with me Roger!" she cried. She began to walk out. Why would she tell me this? I hated her. I hated that little bitch. She could die for all I cared. She was doing this on purpose to hurt us all.

"Mimi," I yelled after her. "Why would you do this?"

"Go home," Mimi spat. "You just think you can butt in over here? Well you can't. Everything is too messed up and there is no room for you here."

"No room?" I asked. "You need to get over yourself and stop being jealous, because not everyone loves you."

"Excuse me," she scoffed. "I wouldn't say you are all that great either."

I shoved her. I shoved her hard. Her eyes grew wide as she lost her balance and began to fall backwards. She swung her arms around, throwing her box of belongings behind her head, and reaching out for balance everywhere, but she never reached for me. It showed how independent she was. The box crashed at the bottom of the landing, spilling her contents everywhere. I reached forward to grab her arm and steady her, but missed, only causing her to topple down the stairs. She tumbled. I heard the banging of her head and limbs hitting the stairs. It echoed throughout the building. Her body stopped moving at the landing. She lay there in a curled up ball.

She wasn't moving.

"Oh my god," I cried. Mark and Roger rushed out and saw her. Roger ran down the stairs and knelt next to her. Mark followed. "I didn't mean to!"

"Call 911," Roger yelled, after feeling her pulse. I couldn't move. The image just played in my head over and over again.

"Erika," Mark yelled. "Call 911."

I was still frozen to the spot.

Roger turned and glared at me. "ERIKA, NOW!"

This pulled me out of my trancelike state. I stood up and ran into the loft and got the phone. I dialed quickly, spoke to the receiver. Then, I ran back to the top of the stairs and looked down at what I had done. Roger was holding Mimi's head to his chest and talking to her, asking her to wake up. Mark was sitting back on his knees with his hand to his mouth and his eyebrows furrowed in concern. They loved her. This was their Mimi. Maybe they both didn't love her the same way, but she was the one girl in their life who was everything. She was a friend, a lover, a sister, a mother. She took care of the boys and cared for them. She held everyone together. Who was I to come in and take over everything? She must have thought I was trying to take her spot, which I wasn't. I don't know what I wanted. I just really wanted to take back everything.

I stared at Mimi, who was still motionless.

Not moving.

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_June 3, 1991 11:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I woke up in my old bed, wrapped in a large quilt blanket. I had never slept past 9:30 in my life, so this was a rare occasion. I got out of bed and stretched. I suddenly remembered last night. My mother had come home, saw me, began crying, and held me for the longest time. She said she knew that I was coming home, because she could feel it. A mother's instinct.

I walked down the stairs and called out, "Mama!"

"Oh baby," my mom said coming around the corner. Her straight dark hair was streaked with gray and pulled back into a tight bun. She had her glasses perched on her nose and her robe was pulled around her frail body. I was much taller than her. I think she shrunk over the years.

"Good morning," I said, placing a kiss on her soft cheek. She smiled warmly and led me to the kitchen where there were waffles stacked on a plate. My favorite! The last time I have had a proper breakfast meal was ages ago. I sat down and she took a seat across from me, smiling widely.

"I didn't want to wake you niño," my mother cooed. "You looked so tired and I wanted to let you rest." I silently thanked her and took a bite of my food.

"So," I said. "You knew I was coming, huh?"

"When did you find out?" she asked. "About Jose…..I mean Joey."

"A week before I left," I said. "Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"I didn't know," she cried. "Well, I knew that he was murdered, but I didn't know why. Your father said it was a fight, but I had no idea that there was background to the story. What do you know?"

"More than you," I whispered.

"Tell me," she said.

"Have you spoken to dad at all since he left?" I asked, ignoring her. She shook her head. "Was he really ashamed by me?" She nodded. It frustrated me how she was saying nothing. "How long was he here after I left?"

"He was here for a good 6 months," she said. "Three of the months were spent with me, until he had an affair and then we went through a nasty divorce, where he stayed in Joey's old room and we didn't speak. He spent the whole time complaining that if I would not mope around all day, then he wouldn't have had the urge to cheat. He also said that…….that I was too soft on you and not hard enough and that is what turned you…..gay. He spent the time reminiscing about how perfect Joey was and how Joey was the ideal boy and Joey was a true Italian and that he wished……that he wished you were the one who was killed." She took a deep breath. I knew that was hard for her to say. She didn't want to hurt me, but she had dealt with so much pain she had to say it. Also, she really did love my dad. She would tell me that he was her prince in shining armor. I knew if he called and offered to take her back, she would jump into his arms, and let him carry her away. But I knew I wouldn't allow it. "I am sorry," she gasped.

"Mom," I said. "You should not be sorry. It is no big deal."

"Just remember you are perfect and I love you. Now, let's talk about you," she said, wiping her eyes. "How old were you when you left?"

"16," I said. "I am 21 now."

"5 years," she sighed. "What have you been up to?"

"I am dating this……amazing man….he is my everything mom. His name is Thomas Collins and he is a professor at NYU. He is incredibly smart, but always gets criticized for his theory on actual reality. I live with him in a small apartment. He pays for most of it, but before I met him, I would drum on an old tub in the streets."

"Oh honey," she sighed.

"It was fine!" I said. "I lived with my best friend Mimi Marquez. She was a junkie and she works at a strip club, but she is clean now. She eventually moved out and lived under two roommates. One is an aspiring filmmaker. The other is a rocker. They are so nice. Mimi and the rocker, Roger Davis, fell in love and are dating. Well, they fight every other day, but they are practically married."

"What about the filmmaker," she asked eagerly.

"Oh, Marky," I laughed. "His name is Mark Cohen. He basically lives behind his camera. He is really talented, but refuses to sell out. He films everything! Before I met everyone, he was dating this performer Maureen. She is really eccentric and puts on a lot of protests. She left Mark for a lawyer named Joanne."

My mother burst out laughing. "She is a lesbian?"

"Bi," I stated. I looked at her and started cracking up. "So, to sum it all up Mom, Roger and Mimi are dating, but always fight. They really are in love, though. Um…Maureen and Joanne, they had their differences last year, but when Mimi almost died, they have been pretty inseparable. Mark found a new girl Erika, who is very sweet and seems to really care about him. And Thomas and I are holding everyone up."

"Why did Mimi almost die?" my mother asked, sipping her coffee from a chipped white mug.

"She is HIV positive," I said slowly. This was going to be the hardest part. "So is Roger. Mark is convinced that he will be the last one alive, because once Mimi and Roger die, Maureen and Joanne will probably leave. He says he is used to it, but it haunts him."

"You will be there," she said.

"Mom," I whispered. "Tom and I have AIDS as well. I got it a year after I left." My mother's face dropped and she buried her head in her hands.

"I have been a horrible mother," she sobbed. "I should've been protecting you!"

"No," I cried, jumping up to hug her. "I love you! And you were and are an amazing mother. I should apologize for being the reason dad left you. And don't say it wasn't about me, because I know it was."

"Baby," my mom said. "Don't beat yourself up over the ancient arguments of an old couple." She sniffed and looked at me. "You're life should be made into a movie. Well, maybe a musical, because you all seem to have some form of art in your blood."

"A musical?" I laughed. "That is ridiculous. No one would go to see it."

"I would," mother giggled. "It would be a hit and sweep the nation." She ran her hand across the table, demonstrating the path of the _musical._ "I bet it would be on Broadway for a good 10 years."

"Oh okay Mom," I said sarcastically. "I feel bad for whoever plays me, though, because they will have to dress up in girl clothes and heels for every performance."

"You are a drag queen?" she asked, her eyes lighting up in amusement.

"Darling," I teased, putting on a very corny and flamboyant voice. "I am the best thing in New York sugar and there ain't any competition there. I am a queen!"

She clapped her hands and stomped her feet, cracking up. "I love you Angelo," she said. "You are _the_ perfect son!"

I stared into her warm brown eyes. She looked so worn out and hurt. "By the way," I said. "I am known as Angel now."

"Angel," she whispered. "I like that."

o o o o o

(Collins' POV)

_June 3, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

That crazy-ass Spanish chick was the only person at the moment that was causing me to keep contact with my friends. Mimi was truly my only support at the moment. I did not want to face them over what was happening to Angel. Damn I missed her so much. I spent my days revolved around work and then research on what she was going through. So today, as I was sitting at my office, the phone rang. I was going to ignore it and continue to think about Angel and why she would leave and why she was being secretive about it. It rang again and I got very annoyed with it. I needed to focus on Angel! The love of my life, whom left spontaneously. It rang again! Fuck this! I picked up the phone, releasing pressure from the receiver, which connected the call.

"What?" I snapped.

"Collins," Mark's shaky voice said. "We are at the hospital…….again."

"What happened now?"

"It's Mimi," he said. I sat up a little straighter. This girl was always getting into trouble, but when she was in the hospital it was obviously bad. Had AIDS finally gotten to her?

"Is she okay?" I asked. "Where are you?"

"She fell down the stairs," Mark said. "I just…….." His voice lowered as he talked to someone near him. He offered them a small _shhhh_ in his act of comfort. Then he returned his attention to me. "She is unconscious. I am not asking you to come down here, because you have a lot on your mind, but I wanted to let you know."

"Not another word," I said, clutching the phone between my chin and shoulder. "I am on my way."

"Thanks man!" Mark said. He choked down some pride and jealousy at that moment and said something that shocked me. "_Roger _will really appreciate it."

He had done it! I think he had finally accepted that Mimi was not his and Roger was the guy in her life. Maybe he still needed more time to accept it, but he basically admitted it out loud and I gave him credit for that.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_June 3, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I watched as Mark hung up with Collins. Had he just said that _I _would appreciate it? It shocked me, but I didn't worry about it for too long. I needed to worry about Mimi. Mark was sitting down, comforting Erika who had cried the whole ride over. I can't say I was angry at her. I was angrier at myself. If I didn't get _revenge_, she would not have been mad at Erika, who would not have gotten mad at Mimi, who would not have fallen from Erika's push.

"You should get tested," Mark whispered.

Oh shit! If she is positive, I might as well be charged with murder. That is if Mark doesn't kill me first. The first good thing that has happened to him and I have to ruin it, by taking it away. I leaned against the wall as Mark and she walked briskly past me to go talk to a nurse about getting tested. I took a deep breath.

_He is going to be a father. _He, meaning not me. He, as in Mark! I really thought I was going to be a dad. I was happy. I imagined little Roger Jr. running around the house. He would be just like his old man and as amazing as his mother. But in reality it would not be Roger Jr., it would be Mark Jr. I rubbed my temples. She had lied to me. And I had lied to her. And Mark, my best friend had kept a secret from me. And I tried to seduce my best friend's girl. And I was not truthful to Erika. And Erika never tried to stop me! We were all going to hell. It was too messed up.

"ROGER!" yelled a voice. I heard heels clicking down the hall. I turned and saw Maureen. Her cheeks were red and she had a huge brown purse under her arm that was whacking people as she hurried towards me. She threw herself into my arms and gave me a sisterly hug.

"Hi Mo," I said dejectedly. "Who told you?"

"Collins called," she said. She looked at me and began to cry. "You know I am always here for you." I knew she was. She was like the sister I never had. Yes, there was a point where we were attracted to each other, when Mark first brought her home, but one day we reached a silent agreement of friendship. Hell, the girl annoyed the shit out of me! And I was horribly rude to her, but we were family! Besides Mimi, I have never been that close with a girl. No one ever really notices our friendship, because we spend most of it arguing. But in times like these, we put our differences aside and leaned on each other.

"I know you are," I said. "I just screwed up big time."

"You fucking did and I am so mad at you, but now is not the time." That reminded me of the first time she cheated on Mark and I found out. I was fuming! I went up to her with every intention of calling her out, but she was crying about a cousin of hers that had died. She didn't know what to do, because she said she never ever dealt with loss. Whether it is from a lover or a family member, she was always the one leaving. So I stayed with her that night, just talking, and making sure she was comfortable, so she could take her mind off of it. Halfway through the night, she looked at me and began crying.

"_Roger?" Maureen asked. I stared at her, peeking up at me through her curly reddish-brown hair. I stopped munching on the popcorn she had made. She had tear-stained cheeks._

"_Yes?" I asked._

"_I really messed up this time, didn't I?" _

_Yes, she did. I couldn't tell her that, though. She was so upset and lost. She knew everyone she loved was pushing her away. It wasn't her fault, though. She was just really messed up and very eccentric. You had to love her for it, but you also had to hate her at the same time._

"_Mark really loves you," I stated. "He says you are the best thing that has ever happened to him."_

"_And he is the best thing that has ever happened to me," she said. "And it scares me."_

"_Why?"_

"_I am afraid to lose him. With Ray gone," she said, referring to her cousin. "It makes me realize that I lived my whole life pushing away my loved ones, so I wouldn't get hurt in the end. But it only hurts more."_

"_Then why do you continue to push him away?" I asked._

"_I don't know," Maureen sighed. "You have no idea how much I love him. He is perfect. But I cannot settle down. I am afraid to. I need my freedom and I need to know that if he ever will leave, I will be the one walking out or away. I couldn't bear getting left."_

"_Is that why you always cheat?"_

"_I figure that if I push him away, he will leave and technically he will leave because I left and-"_

"_That is stupid and you are making no sense," I said. She nodded._

"_I know," she sobbed. "I just don't-"_

"_You are tired. A lot has happened today. You aren't thinking straight," I said, rubbing her shoulder. "Just sleep on it."_

"_I messed up," she said again._

"_Yes," I said. "You truly did, but now is not the time to talk about it."_

_She silently thanked me and rested her head on my shoulder. I sat there with her all night, making sure she wouldn't be alone, which apparently was her worst fear in life._

_Isn't that everyone's fear, though?_

Ironic, huh? Mark knows he will be alone and Maureen was afraid of being alone. They truly are perfect for each other, but people change, and move on. Love changes, but maybe it never truly dies. _Maybe._

Maureen and I sat down and I told her everything, leaving nothing out. She scowled at me at some points and other times she frowned with sympathy. I finished talking and she was silent.

"What are you thinking?"

"I think you guys need some time apart," Maureen said slowly.

"Do you think we are over?" I asked her. She never got a chance to respond, because at that moment, a doctor came over to us.

"Roger Davis?" he asked. I stood up and followed him, but not before Maureen squeezed my hand for support. He led me down the hallway to a large brown door.

"I suggested you wait to see her," he said. "She woke up about a half an hour ago. She insists on seeing you immediately. She is very emotionally unstable, so only two minutes. Do you understand?"

I nodded at the harsh doctor and made my way into the room. I saw her and felt tears begin to form.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 3, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I saw him and felt my stomach drop. He looked so concerned and hurt. I wanted to cry and hold him. I knew I needed him, but…..wait! I didn't need him. He ruined my life. I don't love him anymore, right?

_I wish you didn't love me. I wish you'd make this easy. It was love that caught me. Now it's fear that keeps me with you._

I can't imagine myself without him. I feel so lost and scared. I have no one. I need that sense of protection. I really thought it was over, but maybe it isn't. Or maybe I am just hurting myself more by being with him.

_ I want to be by your side. So I can close my eyes, to the growing emptiness inside that kills me when I'm with you._

"Are you okay?" he gasped. He didn't wait for my reply. "I didn't know what to do Mimi. I really thought you were gone and I would have never gotten to make things right with you."

"Well now is your chance," I replied bitterly. He stared at me. "You want to make things right? Then do it!"

"This isn't my entire fault you know," he said, not looking at me. What was he afraid of? Why couldn't he just talk to me? Why was he so scared of our relationship all of a sudden? This was his chance, why wasn't he taking it?

_You try to break me, try to hate me, so you can fall out of love. You want to make me believe that I'm crazy. That I'm nothing with out you._

"Roger," I sighed. "I don't know what to do. I can't be with you anymore. It is too complicated. And everything is messed up. Erika hates me. Mark needs to be with her. You just cheated! What should I be thinking?"

"You should be remembering how much I love you and how strong our love was," he said.

"You seemed to forget that a few days ago, didn't you?" I asked.

"I am too tired to fight Mimi. I didn't come here so we could rip each other's heads off." We sat in silence for along time. His head hung down so that his long blonde hair was covering his face. I couldn't take my eyes off of him. I was in so much pain from the fall, but around him I felt numb and I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"So I am not the father?" he asked after a moment.

Tears stung my eyes. He _had_ to bring this up! "Actually," I choked. "No one is."

"You lied?" he asked.

I let out a bitter laugh and cleared my throat. "I…..I……I lost hi…him," I cried. I went to sit up, but Roger put his arms protectively around my torso. He let me cry into his strong shoulder. I shuddered and began to cry very hard, using all of my energy. The harder I cried and shook, the tighter he held me, almost as if to stop the shaking, just like he did during my withdrawal. This just made me cry harder, trying to break his hold, to see if I could do it. He was just too strong and so determined to keep me safe.

I wasn't sure who I was mad at. I didn't want to be mad at anyone. I was leaving. I needed to start over. I could never be mad at Mark. He was so innocent and lonely. He was a friend and I don't blame him for anything. And I understand Erika's anger. I know that she needed a place to stay and she really cares about Mark (despite the little unfaithful incident.) I probably would have pushed me if I was in my position. It wasn't intentional. And Roger…..oh Roger….

"I would have….." Roger said interrupting my thoughts. He had tears on his cheeks. "I would have been a good father Mimi. I know it wasn't mine, but it would be the child of someone I love. I would have cared for him like my own. I really would have been a good father."

He put his head in his hands and began to cry. I sat up and held his head to my chest. "I know you would've been, but it is probably better that he isn't coming into our lives."

"Mimi," he said, looking at me and grabbing my head, his green eyes lit up with anticipation. "I never wanted to hurt you. I cannot emphasize enough how sorry I am. I love you Mimi. I love you so much and about what happened, please don't believe I had feelings for her. It was all a mistake."

_It's unbelievable but I believed you._

"Mimi!" he continued. "I am sorry. I am nothing without you. Please forgive me baby. Tell me that you don't hate me. Cause I don't know what I will do if you are mad."

_Unforgivable but I forgave you._

"Roger," I whispered. "I know you are sorry. I know, because I felt the same way you did back in February. We both made a huge mistake." He grinned at me. I smiled back, not even meaning to. He just had that effect on me.

_Insane what love can do that keeps me coming back to you._

"Let's never fight again," he laughed. I nodded in agreement. I knew we wouldn't fight, because soon we wouldn't be able to.

"I forgive you," I said. "But I don't know if I can still be with you. When I told you that I needed to get away I was serious. I am going to my mother's house, because I just need to get away." Roger looked at me like I was crazy. How could he think that everything was perfect just like that?

_You're irreplaceable but I'll replace you._

"Mimi," he said. "I thought-"

"I am sorry Roger," I said. "We are over."

"Over," he laughed bitterly. He stood up. His face was sagging and he was pale. He bent down and kissed my forehead tenderly. I closed my eyes tight, to try to keep my mind focused on leaving him. I didn't want his kiss to sway me back to him. He pulled away and looked at my closed eyes. He thought his kiss might sway me too, but he was wrong. He took a deep breath and put his hand on mine. "I will _always _love you Mimi."

"I cannot love you right now," I said, still not looking at him and holding back the tears that were stinging my eyes. He looked angry and sad at the same time. He shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the room, slouching and looking as if he would collapse at any minute.

_Now I'm standing on my own.  
_I let loose and cried as he left the room. I just sat there and watched the one good thing walk out of my life. But for some reason this was my choice and I had to live and deal with it.

_Alone._

* * *

): Oh No! 

Sorry for my little musical humor when Angel and his mom were talking I could not help myself.

Teaser?

_I stared up into his eyes and knew that perhaps everything was changing. I mean, people change, people cheat, love goes away. Those things have happened to me, so why should I be doubting this new and undescribable feeling. He was perfect, right? If this new guy was so great than why couldn't I get him out of my head._

I am so nice! I gave you guys are extremely long chapter with a 5, 609 word count and a teaser. You all better review hardcore to repay my kindness. Thanks!!


	21. Sweet Kisses

This is a crazy chapter with a lot of new twists. Reviews are amazing

_Disclaimer: RENT is not mine! Get over it!_

* * *

**Sweet Kisses**

(Maureen's POV)

_June 10, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Mimi left 4 days ago. Collins, Mark, Erika, Joanne, and I waved her off as she took a cab to her mother's house. Roger just sat in the loft, looking out the window. Mark and Mimi had a huge embrace where they apologized for everything that happened. She forgave a weeping Erika, who was still shaken up from the accident and was waiting for her test results. Collins asked her many times if she would stay with him, but she denied each time.

After a good half hour, she was gone. She promised to call when she got there and she also said that she would get together with us when everything was settled. Deep down, we all knew that she probably wouldn't call. It was weird after she left. The loft seemed emptier. We all just sat around. We didn't reminisce or cry or even smile. We just sat there, lost in our own thoughts.

I always thought Angel was the one who kept us together, but now I am starting to think it was Mimi. I have not seen any of the other Bohemians since she left and haven't heard from them either. I had no desire to call, but I wished one of them would acknowledge me. It made me wonder what they would do if I left. Would the act the same way they did when Mimi left? Or would they just ignore the fact I was gone?

I had just walked into the loft after a long day of shopping. Joanne was out of town for 5 days, so the house was empty and cold, because I didn't know how to turn the heat on. Joanne always did that. Our machine was blinking and I quickly hit the button, so happy that they had the courtesy to call.

"One new message," the mechanic woman's voice said.

"Hi Maureen," spoke a deep, familiar voice. I sighed. It wasn't any of my friends. I threw myself on the couch to wait and see who it was. "I just wanted to call and say hi. It is about 5:45 on the 10th and I was hoping that maybe you would meet me at the Life. I know it sounds corny, but I was bored and I wanted some company. If you would like to come down I will be here for about an hour. It would mean a lot. We never see each other anymore."

"Cause I hate you!" I yelled at the machine, realizing who it was. I kicked the table and then sat on the couch in a huff. How could he have the nerve to call me? Then again, a part of me really wanted to see him, where we wouldn't have to hate each other the whole time.

I sighed. Joanne was out of town. I would just go for one drink. He sounded like he was desperate for someone to talk to. It would just be two old friends getting together.

Yes, I was decided. I would go and see the man, who I was supposed to hate. I went into my bedroom and put on a pair of dark colored jeans and a tight red shirt. I then scrunched my hair quickly, applied some makeup, threw on my heels, grabbed my purse, and rushed out the door.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_June 10, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Erika and I were standing on the roof. I was waiting for her to open the results. She was shaking horribly and looked as if she was about to cry.

"Whenever you are ready," I said for the hundredth time. She nodded and clutched the envelope tighter.

"Mark," she whispered. "Can we talk before I open it?"

"Of course!" I sat on the edge of the building and motioned for her to sit next to me. She sat down and wiped her eyes.

"I am so scared. I haven't slept in three days. The results have been keeping me awake," she said. "I need to know, though, if you had feelings for Mimi."

"Haven't we been over this?" I asked.

"Yes," she said quickly. "I just need to know." I was afraid she would bring this up again.

"Everyone has someone special for them," I said. "I thought Mimi and I could have a future. I always liked her and I was always jealous of Roger and how every girl loved him. In February, I thought that maybe Mimi felt the same way about me. But have you ever seen the way she looks at him?"

Erika nodded.

"They love each other," I said. "I knew that nothing could break them apart. I can't love her. And after I met you, I realized I didn't want to love her. Erika, I know I am a horrible boyfriend…..er….whatever I am to you, but I care about you so much and it scares me."

"I am sorry for everything," she said. "I came in and ruined this family."

"No you didn't," I said quickly.

There was an awkward silence and she took a deep breath. "Why do I scare you?"

"You don't," I said in a defeated tone. "The thought of a relationship scares the hell out of me. I want to love you, but I don't want to lose you. I am going to be all alone in the end. Mimi, Roger, Collins, and Angel….well….they are…." I couldn't finish my sentence. "And Maureen and Joanne….it is only a matter of time before they leave. It will just be me. I don't see my family anymore and I am not leaving this loft. If I had someone like you to be with, I wouldn't be scared. The tighter I hang on to that hope, the more I think it is going to slip right out of my fingers. I don't want to get too attached and then lose you."

"Mark," she said. "I love you too, but how can I love you if you keep pushing me away?"

"I am sorry," I said.

She looked at the envelope and sighed. "Will you still love me, no matter what the outcome is?"

I hesitated, but I didn't need to think about it. "I loved you before I met you."

She wrinkled her nose. "You are such a dork." She wiped her eyes and ripped the envelope open. She dropped it, with her eyes closed. "I cannot do it! You read it."

I picked it up for her and scanned the page for that one word

"Negative," I whispered.

"Oh my god," she screamed. She fell into my arms and hugged my torso.

"Are you alright?" I asked. She mumbled a yes into my sweater. I helped her down the stairs, leaving the paper on the roof. I brought her into my room and laid her down. She disappeared into her dreams almost instantly. Now she could catch up on her lost sleep. I kissed her forehead and sat on the edge of the mattress. A white envelope suddenly caught my eye. It was lying in the corner, next to a sock. I picked it up and wiped some dust off of it. I carried it into the kitchen and sat on the metal table. My name was scrawled quickly on the front. I ripped it open and immediately recognized Angel's handwriting.

_**Mark,**_

_**You probably know I need to leave. When I was younger, my brother got our family into a huge mess and now it has come back to bite me in the ass. I promise I will be back. While I am gone, I need you to just relax. These last few months have been chaos. I know that you all have been doubting love, but you need to know that Erika is in this for you in the long run. You just have to remember that everyone has someone out there for them. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to find them. Remember, the best thing comes to those who wait!**_

_**Angel**_

o o o o o

(Benny's POV)

_June 10, 1991 6:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

"One more," I yelled to the bartender, raising my empty beer. He slid another one down to me. I popped open the top with ease and then bent it in half. I threw it into the small pile I had started.

"Well," said a sultry voice behind me. "If it isn't the yuppie scum."

I turned around on my barstool and saw Maureen. She was standing behind me with a tight red shirt on that was an inch above her jeans, showing off a strip of skin. She had her hands on her hips and she was smirking.

"Maureen," I said, standing up. She looked so elegant. I always thought of her as trailer trash from Hicksville. She really grew up. "Would you like to sit down and have a meal?"

"I am not hungry," she said.

"What?" I asked laughing, trying to get her to laugh. "Are you anorexic or something?"

"Bulimic actually," she teased, brushing past me with a scowl on her pale face. She sat on the barstool I was just on and waved the bartender down.

"So what is new?" I asked.

"Eh," she sighed, opening her beer. "Mimi left. She got into a fight with Roger and Mark and Erika. And Angel had to go back to her hometown for a little. Joanne is also on a business trip. I feel like no one even cares about…………….why I am even telling you?"

"Cause I care," I said, pointing out the obvious. She grinned, loving the attention. She began telling me how Mark and Mimi had sex and Roger caught them. Then she spoke about Roger's payback and how Erika pushed Mimi down the stairs, causing her to lose Mark's baby.

"It is all too ridiculous," she grinned. By this point, there were 6 empty beer glasses in front of her. "If only I had married that rich designer back when I was 18."

"He was 32," I pointed out. "And I am pretty sure he was gay."

"But he loved me," she slurred.

"No," I said. "He loved your image. How amazing would he look with a young skinny bride? He would be like the most famous guy ever."

"You're right," Maureen said. "No one ever really loved me."

"Um Joanne?" I asked.

"Eh," Maureen said. "I guess you are right. But to think I had to go lesbian before I found the right one. I mean the designer, Mark, Roger, the bartender, the stripper, Mark….none of them were right."

"That doesn't mean you tried every man," I laughed.

"Oh shut up," she yelled giggling. "Who else would there be?"

"Um me," I said. Oh my god! Did I just say that? She looked up at me through her hair. She took another swig of her beer and leaned back, pushing out her chest and crossing her legs.

"Mr. Benjamin Coffin, I believe you are trying to seduce me," Maureen slurred.

I laughed. A strange thought occurred in my mind. It reminded me of the times we used to catch each other's glances when we lived together. They were awkward and curious moments. I put my hand on hers and grinned. "And what if I was?"

"I would do this," Maureen said. She leaned forward, licking her lips. She pushed her weight on me and gently brushed her lips against mine.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_June 10, 1991 7:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Has he come out of his room?" Collins whispered.

"No," Mark hissed. "This is just like withdrawal all over again."

"This is my entire fault," Erika whined.

"It is no one's fault," Collins said quickly. "He is just angry and upset. No one is to blame."

There was silence. I was sitting on my bed, listening to their conversation that was taking place outside the door, and pretending to be asleep. They were right about everything. That didn't mean they could relate though. I was mad at myself for letting Mimi go and mad at her for not forgiving me. I forgave her! Why couldn't she forgive me? I could not be mad at her though. She was the most important figure in my life and I feel like I am betraying her by being mad at her.

I couldn't even think about my mixed feelings right now. That was what my whole fucking life was about, mixed feelings! I pulled out my guitar noisily to let everyone know I was awake. I put my socked feet on the dusty floor and padded my way over to my dresser drawer. I pulled out a leather notebook that was folding and faded at the edges from water damage. I opened it to the page that was filled with chicken scratch and 10 cent ideas.

I strummed the familiar chords I had been working on and began to sing. My voice was scratchy and shaking from lack of warming up. I didn't care though.

"I miss you baby," I sang. "You have been gone for a long time." I stopped and thought. "For far too long." I wrote that down quickly and continued. "My dreams are filled with you being home. I will never let you go if you come back."

"The poor boy is hopeless," Collins said to Mark.

I threw my notebook against the door and let my guitar fall gently out of my hands. It landed with a plop on the bed. I buried my head in my hands.

How could she go? I loved her! Why was I such a screw-up? My reason to live was _gone_. I _lost_ my reason to live. I _had_ no reason to live. I _wanted_ no reason to live.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_June 10, 1991 7:10 p.m. eastern standard time_

Collins, Mark, and I ate in silence. We had cold pizza and water. Roger did not come out of his room, but he did play the guitar for a little. It was really beautiful. Mimi didn't know how lucky she was to have a guy who could write songs for her. Well…._had _a guy.

I went downstairs for a little. I said I had to straighten up my room. I just needed to get away from the deafening silence. When I went inside, there was a white envelope on the counter. Mark gave it to me a while ago and said it was for me. I thought nothing of it though. I opened it out of pure boredom.

_**Erika,**_

_**I know it may seem that everyone is out to get you, but you need to know that Mark has gotten hurt so much in the past. They are afraid you will hurt him too. I really do not know what else to say. I have to go away for a little and I felt the urge to write letters to each of you, because I was afraid that if I left two things would happen. One, I thought that everything would fall apart once I left. Two, I was afraid this would be my only chance to say it. If you truly love him, which I think you do, then that is all that matters.**_

_**Angel**_

Damn! This group has a lot of closure. This is like the 5th time I had to deal with proving my love and thinking everything would be over. Angel's letter didn't affect me that much. It was just a heartfelt letter from a friend. It was sweet, but I felt it was unnecessary. What else could happen at this point? Maybe she is just trying to show that there will never be closure. I have no idea!

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_June 11, 1991 10:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

There was a loud bang that forced me to open my eyes. I yawned. I was lying on my stomach, hugging my pillow. Outside the window was a crew of construction workers. I groaned and rolled over, trying to block them out. It didn't work.

I sat up. My back was killing me. I felt sore all over. What the hell was going on? I could barely remember last night…last night…..LAST NIGHT!

I looked to the other side of the bed. It was wrinkled and sunken in with sleep, but empty all the same. Lying on the pillow was an extravagant orange orchid. I picked it up and took a huge sniff. It smelt like aftershave more than anything else. Underneath the flower was a napkin that read **shit happens **in permanent marker.

That was so like Benny, the yuppie scum. He was such an asshole, but was raised to be a gentleman. I wanted to cry though. How could I do this to Joanne? Maybe she will understand, because I was drunk.

"_Or maybe you can get real," _said a voice inside my head. I threw the blankets off of me and started pacing around my bedroom. Should I call him? No, I couldn't do that. We were never going to see each other again. That was a definite. But what was I going to do?

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 15, 1991 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

**_I left the loft on the 6th and arrived at my house on the 8th. I spent one night on the streets, almost afraid to go home. When I got here, my mother greeted me warmly. My father has not said one word to me though. They are not home during the day, but we spend dinners together. She chats quickly in a nervous state. I am finding it hard to eat, because I am so used to eating crappy meals. During the days I have just been walking around and reliving my past._**

There was a knock on my door. I put down my pen and looked up.

"Hi Miriam," my mother said. She had her hair, which was just like mine, pulled into a ponytail. "I see you are using your diary I got you."

"I was bored," I said. I sat up. "What are you doing home?" I was getting annoyed with her treating me like a 13 year old.

"Lunch break," she said matter-of-factly. She was a nurse at the local hospital, while my dad was a chef at a Spanish restaurant down the street. "I just wanted to stop in and let you know about the surprise I have for you."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"Just be ready in a half hour and look presentable babe," she smiled. She turned to walk away, but stopped. "Miriam, I know things have been a little messy, but I am sure your father will warm up to you soon."

I smiled and waited until she left the room before muttering, "Fake little bitch." I swear to God she acts like cameras are watching her. She knows she could care less about me, but she insists on acting like mother of the year. It is probably because my sister isn't here to be perfect, so she has no one to compare me to, so naturally she cannot comment about what a piece of shit I am like she used to do. Or maybe she has changed. I doubt it, though.

I jumped in the shower, making it a point to sing as loud as I could to annoy the neighbors, whose homes were uncomfortably close to ours. I could reach out the window and touch the neighboring buildings. I hoped out of the shower and threw on a red fluffy skirt and a black sweater. My boots completed the outfit and I pinned my hair up. I had no idea what this was for but I knew it would be stupid.

I went to the living room and waited. I didn't even know what I was waiting for. My mother had gone back to work and my dad wasn't going to be home until later. I wouldn't be surprised if they had hired a hit man. Maybe that is why my mom was so nice to me!

There was a knock on the door.

"5 minutes early," I muttered. I opened to door and gasped.

"Mira," exclaimed a tall man with soft brown hair that hung in his deep hazel eyes. I stood there with a hand to my chest. I couldn't move. I couldn't believe it.

"You remember me?" I uttered.

"My best friend from childhood?" he asked, stepping up to me. "How could I forget you Mira?"

I grinned and threw my arms around him. He picked me up and spun me around.

"Tell me everything Mike," I squealed. "What has been happening?"

"Not now," Mike said. "We have reservations." He took my hand and led me down the steps and to a black car. He opened the door for me and waited till I sat down before gently closing it. The seats were low to the ground on the expensive sports car. I felt like a movie star sitting in there.

"I see you've upgraded," I teased.

"You bet," he grinned. His perfect white teeth sparkled as he put the car in drive and lurched forward. I gripped the seat and watched the buildings fly past us. He pulled the car to a stop a short while later and ran around to grab my door.

"Thank you," I said. He nodded and threw the keys to the valet parker. I gasped. The building was gorgeous with a large water fountain and garden with white lights strung through the trees. He led me inside the restaurant which was covered in a deep red that was accented by an orange glow from the candles.

"Michael," he said to the host. He was cut off before he could say his last name.

"Ah," the man said. "Welcome back and follow me."

We were taken to the very back of the building to a table that was on a platform and secluded from the rest of the diners. Mike pulled my chair out for me and took his own seat.

"This is……….amazing," I said, looking around the restaurant.

"You _look _amazing," he said. I smiled at him over the candle. I didn't know why, but I couldn't stop grinning. "So," he continued. "Tell me all about what your life consisted of after you left."

"You mean after you gave me AIDS?" I scowled. He looked at the tablecloth. I sighed. "I went and stayed with a friend I met. Her name is Angel. I was in the Lower East Village area. I got a job at the Cat Scratch club. I was doing really well. I dated a few guys. One was a total jerk, but he was rich and really liked me. But it didn't work. I stopped liking him and he was married. I finally met a guy named Roger Davis. He was really great. I moved in with him and his friends for a while once we got together. I became a part of their family and everything was good. I was put in the hospital a few times though, because of this disease you _blessed _me with."

"Why are you back here then?" he asked, resting his head on his hands. "I mean if everything was so good over there, then why are you back…._here?_"

"I just had enough," I snapped. It was a touchy subject and I didn't feel like reminiscing about Roger. "So what about you? What happened to your life?"

"You mean after you dumped me and broke my heart?" he snapped back.

"I never dumped you," I said slowly. "I left you."

"I was still hurting," he said. "After you left, I went back to my parents for a little and hung out with my brother. We got into a business together and we are doing pretty well."

"I can tell," I laughed. "I didn't know you had a brother."

"There is a lot you overlooked about me," he said.

"Well," I said for lack of anything to say. "I am sorry." He nodded and a waiter came up to our table. I looked over the menu. I knew I wanted a hot open turkey sandwich, but it was so expensive.

"You can get whatever you want," he said, almost reading my mind. I grinned and ordered my meal. He ordered a steak and we sat in silence until the meal came, which was relatively quickly.

"So," he said after a few moments. "Did you ever think what would have happened if you didn't leave?"

It had never even crossed my mind. "It would have been the same wouldn't it?" I asked after swallowing my turkey.

"No," he said. "We could have been so much more if you just gave it a chance."

"We were together for a year. I felt suffocated. I needed to get out and roam. Besides, we were young and it was just a high school sweetheart kind of deal."

"I think it could've been more," he whispered.

"Drop it Mikey," I hissed. "Besides, you have moved on. We can just stop holding grudges and thinking of what could have been and we can be friends."

"You are right," he smiled.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter, fun memories, delicious food, and one expensive bill, which Mike graciously paid for. We blasted the radio on the way home. And by the time we pulled up to my house it was 6:30.

"We have been out for two hours," he commented after opening my door.

"It is still so early," I laughed.

"I need to get to work," he replied. "I have the late shift, but maybe we can do this again sometime. You know, an early dinner. And if I don't have work for our next outing we could see a movie or go for a walk after."

"That sounds really good Mike," I said. I hugged him goodbye and told him to call me. He agreed and lifted my arm gingerly, placing a sweet kiss on the back of my hand.

* * *

Uh-Oh! 

Reviews help me update faster! ;-)


	22. An Advanced Kind of Drama

My laptop sort of broke and these last few weeks have been ridiculously busy. Merry Belated Christmas! Or any other holiday you celebrate!

This story has been finalized, so I know what I am going to write, but your input may still influence me. Nothing else will, though. So if you have an idea review please!

I am so sorry! You must hate me for making you wait, but I hope you will all still read it.

_Disclaimer: You know I don't own this! Nor do I own "I'm Still Here" by __John Rzeznik, which influenced this chapter. You should listen to it, because I could so see Roger singing it, which means I could also see Adam Pascal singing it and who could resist that?_

* * *

**An Advanced Kind of Drama**

(Angel's POV)

_June 15, 1991 9:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Mother was sound asleep as I snuck out of the house. I closed my window quietly and hopped onto the low roof and then onto the ground. I began walking down the street swiftly and turned down an alley that had a small doorway to a Spanish bar. I stepped into a cloud of smoke and Spanish cursing. I coughed and rubbed my eyes.

I saw a wooden door at the back of the building with **Meeting Room **etched onto it. I made my way back there and knocked softly.

"Come in," someone boomed over all the noise. I stepped in. There was a large wooden table that looked as if it used to be a pool table, because there were scraps of dark green material stuck to it. All around it were un-matching chairs, which were pushed against the wall leaving no room for walking space.

I stepped over one of the chairs and sat down next to Rufus.

"Hi Angelo," he said. I smiled and listened to the conversation that was already taking place. I laid my hand on my lap and Rufus grabbed it and squeezed it. I looked at him bewildered and pulled away slightly, trying not to make it obvious that I was trying to get away from his grasp. Luckily he didn't think anything of it.

"So," a fat blonde haired man was saying. He took a puff of his cigar and continued. "Los Caballos want our spot. Michael here saw them over near Main Street. They got Ricky."

"Bless his soul," Michael mumbled.

I was so shocked at how no one was reacting to Ricky's death, whoever that was. I had no idea who this blonde man was, but he scared me.

"That is Big," Rufus whispered, talking about the fat man. "Over there is my brother Michael and next to him is Papa Roo. See all those rings on Papa? Each one represents a man he killed. And the skinny dude with the beard is Ganado. He is the eyes and ears of everything. He never says a word, but knows all. Those are the only people you need to be concerned with. They are the top dogs and-"

"God dammit Rufus!" Michael yelled leaning across the table and pointing a gun to Rufus' head. "If ya ain't gonna listen I will just blow your fucking head off. Ya hear me?"

Rufus shoved the gun away and mumbled a _yes. _

"Fucking fag," Michael mumbled throwing himself back on the chair.

"Calm down," Big roared. "Now, I want ya all to shut up and listen to your assignments. Which one of you is Angelo?"

"Me," I said.

"You were assigned to look over the Lower East Area correct?"

"Yes," I said.

"I heard you didn't do too good with that shit," he growled.

"There was no speak of Los Caballos and none of the men came around," I lied.

"Did you even look for them?" he asked. I was silent. "Why are you even in this business if you are not going to be helpful?"

"There was a deal," I croaked. "I needed to keep my family stay safe, because of my brother's mistakes and-"

"I remember the deal well," Big said. "I was informed. So, keep that deal in mind for the future."

"What do you mean?" I asked on impulse.

"Just do what we ask of," he sneered. "And no deal will be followed through, which is what you want, isn't it?"

Before I could answer a cell phone rang and Big picked it up and started talking quickly in Italian. I sighed. Rufus laid his hand on mine and quietly whispered, "What is he talking about?"

I glanced at everyone around me. They were focusing on Big, totally ignoring Rufus and me. I sighed again and whispered, "Joey was the one who joined this business with Mike. He was selling drugs and was hired as a hit man once. Then, he tried to get out of the business so he could go to college like my mother requested. Instead, _your_ men said that if he tried to leave they would kill my family. He said that someone else from his family would take over his position, so there would be no loss. They said that he was wrong, because there would be a loss and shot him. As he was dying they threatened to slit my mother's throat if he didn't come up with a replacement at that moment. He said my name and they came and got me that night. They said if I tried to duck out my whole family would be dead by morning. I had no choice. And it is all because my brother was an idiot, whom didn't think before he acted."

Rufus stared at me. "I was there when he was killed," Rufus said. "I wasn't aware of the deal though. I was in training with my brother and they said it would be my first sight killing, so I could get a taste of what everything was about in this business. I was terrified, but killing is apparently in my blood and being a member of my gang was my destiny. Sometimes you just have to accept what is given to you Angelo."

"No," I said louder. "I cannot accept any of this bullshit. It isn't fair and this is _not _my destiny."

_I can't control my destiny._

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_June 17, 1991 10:30 a.m. eastern standard time_

Joanne didn't ask why I needed to go to the doctor. She had been so preoccupied since she got home from her business trip. I realized that what happened 6 days ago could affect me more than I thought. I needed to get a pregnancy test. I didn't want to do the ones you buy from the stores, though, because Joanne would find it or walk in on me. Then questions would arise. So I walked 11 blocks to the clinic. There was no one in there but a young nurse behind a counter. She smiled perkily and handed me a form.

"Fill this out," she said. I sat down. The questions were simple, but then they started asking things like blood type.

"Excuse me," I prodded. "I don't know my blood types."

"No problem," she said. "We can just take a sample and get back to you." She took my form and led me to an all white room. I began to hyperventilate as she pulled out a needle and hooked it up to a blood bag. She slowly turned around and asked if I was ready. She took my arm and I closed my eyes tight and began to moan and cry. I hated shots. I hated needles. Just as I felt I was about to pass out, she took the needle out, lied me down, and elevated my feet. I cried and held my stomach. I was such a baby, but I didn't care.

"Are you okay?" she asked. How could this little thing be taking care of me, she looked so young. I didn't want to trust her. I wanted to punch her.

"Now," she said. "Let us take the pregnancy test and the results should be back in 3 days. I nodded. She got me a glass of water and a band-aid. And led me into another room where the pregnancy test would be taken.

I closed my eyes the whole time and when I was done, I sat up. She started putting samples of my blood in many different dishes and marked them with weird symbols. Then she turned to me.

"Who is the father?" she asked.

"If I am pregnant," I snapped quickly. Then I calmed down a little. "He is just some jerk and it was a mistake."

"Did you cheat on your boyfriend with him?"

"I am a lesbian," I laughed. "Well bi actually. But I did cheat. Then again, I was drunk, so it wasn't really cheating."

"Oh," the nurse laughed. Then she extended her hand. "I am Heather."

"Maureen," I replied, shaking her tiny hand.

"If you are pregnant," she started. "You might want to think about Plan Parenthood."

"I don't even want to think about that," I sighed. "My life is so screwed up, I hate it!"

"It cannot be _that_ bad," Heather laughed. I gave her a straight face.

"Let's see," I replied. "I cheated on my boyfriend with a girl! Then my friend April committed suicide when she found out she had AIDS. Her boyfriend Roger got AIDS to and went through withdrawal. My friend Collins found this amazing girl named Angel, who is a drag queen. Roger met Mimi, who almost died last Christmas. Mark, my x-boyfriend, and Mimi had sex. Roger got payback with Mark's new girlfriend Erika. Mimi got pissed and left. Joanne doesn't know I cheated on her with the landlord and our former best friend, Benny. And Angel is in the mafia!"

Well, maybe not the mafia, but whatever! This girl didn't need to know every detail. Heather stared at me with a look of shock. I let out a laugh. This drama was all new to her. You would think a girl who worked at a clinic would see more drama in her day. It just goes to show how crazy and advanced the drama in my life was.

"The mafia?" she asked.

"Kind of," I said. She let out a breath of air and laughed. I began laughing with her and before we knew it we were on the ground laughing hysterically. There was a knock on the door, which made Heather stand up. She was still laughing as she came face to face with a girl much younger than me, asking if the clinic was still opened. I wiped the tears that I obtained from laughing, trying not to smudge my mascara.

"I will let you get back to work," I said.

"No problem," Heather said, giving me a small hug. "I will call you when I get the results back."

I walked out of the clinic feeling better than I had in a long time.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 20, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I came down the stairs, dressed, but hair still wet from the shower. There was a note on the table from my mom telling me where the food was. My dad had still not spoken to me. It hurts to look at him, but whatever. I am just here until I can get back on my feet. I grabbed an apple and walked into my living room. I went to find a-

"MIKE?" I screamed.

"Surprise," he laughed. "Your mom let me in about an hour ago."

"What are you doing here?" I gasped.

"I came to see if you wanted to do something today," he said innocently. "And I know how much you love surprises, so surprise!"

I do love surprises. "Where are we going?" I asked.

"I just told you how much you love surprises and now you want to ruin it?" he asked, standing up and grinning at me. I grabbed his hands that he placed on my waist and swung them up and down.

Before I could respond, though, he dragged me out of the house and past his car.

"Are we walking?" I asked. He smiled down at me. That was a stupid question! I felt comfortable holding his hand. It was strictly friendly, but I had a weird, giddy feeling in my stomach. We didn't talk until we got to the corner of a street a few blocks away from my house.

He slid his hands over my eyes and led me forward. "No peeking," he whispered. I nodded and we walked a little farther. He stopped and removed his hands. "Open!" he exclaimed. When I opened my eyes, my mouth dropped open.

"Mike!" I yelled. "How did you know?" I was standing in front of an ancient playground set. It was rusting and the swings were broken. I ran forward and placed my hands on the firefighter pole. "I used to love this thing," I stated. It was like a flash from the past. I spent a few nights here and when I was sad I came here to cry. When my sister got married, I came here to celebrate and when I got my birthday cards I wouldn't open them until I was in the tunnel under the slide.

I looked at him. He was laughing at me. "There are a lot of memories here," he said. "I met you here, when you were 8. You were crying under the slide. And your mom used to send me to find you here when you ran away. You also broke my arm here when you pushed me off the swings."

"I forgot about that," I laughed.

"Did you also forget we shared our first kiss here?"

I frowned. Did he really have to bring that up? I leaned against the pole, crossing my arms over my chest, all of a sudden feeling cold. "Oh Mike," I said in a disappointed voice. I had forgotten and I didn't want to remember. "Why did you-"

"Mira," he held up a hand. "You don't need to say anything. You left me with emptiness in my life and I really didn't know how to fill it. Now that you are back, I know how to fill it."

"I can't-"

"Mimi, please! Listen to me. I am not making you do anything. I am just asking you. Can we please start where we left off?"

I stared at his hopeful brown eyes. I wanted to say no, I really did. Why was he moving so quickly? I had only been seeing him for the first time in ages.

"Okay," I whispered. He rushed forward and threw his arms around me. I slowly entwined my own around his torso. What was I doing?

"Mimi," he cried. "I love you! You have no idea how much I missed you when you were away? I thought I wasn't going to make it!"

Then why didn't you come after me? "I missed you too," I whispered. Who was controlling my body to say this? This was not how I felt!

"It is going to work this time," he said, leaning his forehead against mine. I smiled and he returned it.

I may not feel the same way, but I cannot help falling in love with him over and over again.

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_June 22, 1991 3:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"What are you doing?" Mark asked, coming out of his room and rubbing his eyes. "I heard a lot of movement and thought someone was in the loft."

I turned around fiercely. I was hunched over an old wooden box. Mark yawned. "Are those April's things?" Then he woke up a little more. "Roger," he said sternly. "What are you doing?"

"I am looking for something," I mumbled.

"What is it?" he asked, sitting on the couch.

"A picture," I mumbled.

"Oh," Mark said. "Why do you need one of her?"

"It is not of April," I said. I didn't want to look at April. I had enough pain to worry about. I didn't feel like reminiscing about her.

"Then why are you going through-"

"This isn't April's box!" I exclaimed angrily. "This is my screw-up box. I put everything I screwed up on in here."

Mark sat there, not looking at me. I didn't feel like waiting for him to ask anymore questions. "I was lying in my bed and I had a dream that I was in a long hallway. It was like the hallway leading to the door of the loft only ten times longer. Mimi's voice was at the end of it. She kept saying _goodbye love._ I panicked and chased after her, but she kept getting farther and farther away. And then, the weirdest thing happened. I reached her and went to touch her cheek, but I couldn't place a face with her. I couldn't remember what she looked liked. I freaked out and then I woke up. There was no light in my room, so I had to come out here and find a candle. And-"

"Roger," Mark said. "What do you mean you cannot remember what she looked like? She has not been gone that long."

"I DON'T KNOW MARK!" I screamed. "I just don't know anymore. I hate this! I don't feel real anymore. I want to touch her again, but I cannot feel her. I want to be near her again, but she is gone. I don't belong anywhere anymore. Everyone is changing, but I am just staying the same. No one understands me anymore. I feel like I don't even exist!"

I knew it sounded dramatic, but it was the truth. "Roger," Mark said. "I really do not know what to say."

There it was, Mark was at a loss of words. I had finally cracked him in the process of my meltdown. "Mimi was the only person I could be sure with. I doubt myself all the time. I never know what is right and wrong. I knew her and she knew me. We held each other up. She was basically my other half Mark. And now she is gone, because I am a fucking idiot."

Mark stood up and walked away. I wasn't talking to him anyway. I wasn't even talking to myself. I tried to block him out as he made a cup of coffee. I flipped through old newspaper articles and pictures of April, a few old song lyrics. There was a few of April's paintings here and there. I came across a syringe and dropped it quickly, burying it under the paperwork. I then found an old back of crack. I held it up to the candle light. It looked crystallized and practically transparent, like all good quality crack does when age gets to it. I threw that down as well. Then, there was what I was searching for.

I gently pulled out a clean and unfolded photo of a young Latina girl. It was not bent from being overused, like most of April's were. Instead, this one was perfectly new. It was waiting for me to obsess over it, I knew it was. It was picture of her before we met. She was leaning against the brick wall of The Cat Scratch Studio, grinning. Her hair was as curly as ever, flowing around her face. Her eyes were adverted from the camera and she was looking at the ground. From the sparkle of her brown eyes, I could tell she was laughing when the camera flashed. She had her leopard coat wrapped around her body and it was keeping her light brown Spanish skin warm. The same skin clung to her jaw line dangerously; looking like it would tear if she turned her head too fast. I missed her long maroon lips and her skinny eyebrows. I missed her loud laugh and her perfect white teeth, which were slightly showing in this picture.

I folded the picture in half. I cringed as the material was no longer perfect, but bent. I sort of regretted folding it, but nothing mattered anymore. I felt numb again. Not completely, but almost. I shoved the picture in my pocket and walked back into the bedroom to finish my sleepless night.

* * *

Please Please Please Please Review!!

**Poll:**

**I think Mike is……**

**a.** Amazing! He is the best thing that is happened to Mimi. They make the greatest couple.

**b.** Alright. Anything will do as long as Roger is out of the picture. I cannot stand the depressed rocker and the ex-crack whore as a couple.

**c.** A good guy. There is still something about him that I don't like, though.

**d.** Horrible! I cannot believe Mimi has moved on! Roger and Mimi were meant to be together. Please kill Mike!


	23. This Death Sentence

I am ridiculously sorry. It has been almost a month and I feel awful. This story will not be abandoned, though I know most of you think it will be. I hate abandoning stories! All my stories will eventually be finished.

Anyway, I have had a lot of technical difficulties. Then I spilt tomato soup on my thumb drive and all my stories got deleted. Thank God I saved most of them a while ago on my home computer. I still had to retype some of this, though. But everything is all good.

A special thanks to Teenage dirtbag luvs dashy, who wrote me a personal e-mail about this story. I really enjoyed reading it, so snaps for her.

_Disclaimer: I own the director's personal CD from the making of RENT, because my best friend's step-dad drove Chris Columbus around and we stole it._

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**This Death Sentence**

(Maureen's POV)

_June 25, 1991 11:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I turned the faucet in the bathtub to the left. Hot water came flowing out in a strong stream. I watched the clear water hit the ceramic basin and begin to rise up. I only had hot water. Not any cold. I loved the feeling of stepping into the heat. I closed the door and went to my bedroom. I undressed and walked back into the bathroom, waiting for it to fill up. I never liked bubbles. I loved the idea of the clear water inviting me to step in. I wanted to cry as the steaming hot water hit my dry foot. Once my right foot was covered, the other one followed. I slowly inched my way down, watching the water turn my shins red. I had to stop, letting my skin get used to the heat. Joanne always called me crazy for taking baths like this, but I didn't care. I needed this now more than ever. Once I got semi used to the water, I sat down. The hot water was perfect as I leaned back. One time, I got light headed in the bath from the heat and almost passed out.

I didn't care now, though. I just needed to clear my head. I needed to talk to Roger today. Joanne wasn't coming back until Friday, so I had five days. I didn't feel like washing my hair or body. I just wanted to sit here until the end of time. I didn't care about pruning. This water was too good.

How could this have happened? I always thought this kind of thing would never happen to me, because it was me. These things are only things I hear about, but never experience. And I didn't want to experience it. I wanted to rewind time and tell Benny that I would not meet him at the Life. I could have just had a boring night and it would have been worth it in the long run. How would I explain this to Joanne? Oh, Joanne, the love of my life! She will hate me! Our perfect relationship destroyed.

I took a deep breath and went under the water. I was totally immersed. I would hear the water bouncing off the sides of the tub. It echoed and made the basin seem so much bigger than it was. It was my own little ocean. I never wanted to come back up. My breathing had calmed and I forgot I was holding my breath. I felt at such ease. After a while, I sat up and took a deep breath. It filled my lungs as the air rushed down to evaporate the tiny droplets of water on my skin. The water had cooled and was no longer comforting. It started to feel uninviting and foreboding in a way.

I guess it didn't matter anymore. Nothing mattered at all. I was a nobody, who was condemned to emptiness. And there was nothing I could do about it, nothing at all. Not with this death sentence hanging over my head.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 25, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"It says that the velocoraptor was the size of a chicken," Mike exclaimed.

"But it was about 9 feet long," I pointed out. The two of us were standing in the middle of the Museum of Natural History. I had never been there and Mike had surprised me this morning. He had taken me somewhere everyday since we had become "an item."

"Imagine that thing coming after you!" he laughed. Babe, are you having fun?"

"Yes," I grinned. "I never knew how big this place was." I began walking away from the skeleton of the dinosaur. A lot of families were walking around. A father, mother, daughter, and son. They looked so happy, spending a nice day together. The excitement of school being out soon was buzzing and the anticipation of summer was too much.

"Hungry?" Mike asked. I nodded. "My treat!" I loved how he paid for everything now. I wasn't a gold digger, but it was nice to be treated like a princess. I wasn't used to that.

_Roger treated you like a queen._

I shoved thoughts of the past out of my head and focused on Mike. He slipped his hand into mine and pulled me over to the food court. We both got ice cream and sat down at a sticky table in the corner. He watched me eat, which was a little awkward, but I dealt with it.

"So what does your mother think about us?" he asked. I swallowed the ice cream.

"She has never been happier," I said sadly. "I don't know. My father still has not spoken to me. And my mother never wanted what was best for me. She is just putting on a big act. I hate being home. They are never in the house and I feel like I will never truly be at home there. Dinner is awkward and I can just tell they are scrutinizing everything I do. But she is living a dream. She always wanted us to be together."

"You know I will never judge you Mimi," he offered.

"I know," I said. "But my own parents should make me feel at home. They have not even asked me once how I dealt with life after I moved out. I could've been…………never mind." There was nothing I could say to him. I had basically done it all on the streets. My parents already hated me enough, so I could never tell them the truth about everything that happened. And Mike………well Mike didn't need to know. At least not now.

"You are perfect," Mike said. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

"Mike, please-"

I never finished my sentence, though, because he leaned over the table and kissed me. And not just any kiss. I felt like I was in high school again. It was my first kiss all over again.

Maybe this new chapter in my life wouldn't be too bad.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_June 25, 1991 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Just close your eyes!" I urged, dragging Mark into my apartment.

Not listening to me, Mark inspected my place. "It looks so much different from when Mimi lived here."

"I should hope so," I laughed. "Now can you please close your eyes."

I led him to the corner of the room. There were a bunch of white sheets lying over bulky objects. I smiled. The light was coming through the dusty window, just the way I liked it.

"Ever since I came here," I started. "I haven't felt exactly welcomed. You guys all have your special things and histories and memories and laughs. You are all connected and it is such a strong bond. I really wanted to be apart of that, but I realized I couldn't connect to you, before I connected to myself. So I started to……HEY keep your eyes closed!" Mark re-shut his eyes. "I started to find inspiration in the strangest things. It felt great."

"What is your point?" Mark asked me.

"I made this and I really want you to see it. I have been working on it for a while." Mark opened his eyes and I ripped the sheet off my easel. His eyes grew wide.

"It isn't exactly perfect, but-"

Mark held up his hand, silencing me. I watched him stare at the painting in shock. I drew the face of a man from the top of his eyebrows to the bottom of his hands, which were resting on his stomach. It was Mark. I drew every feature of him. His transparent eyebrows, his deep blue eyes, his pale skin, his light pink lips, his brown coat, everything was there. And cradled in his arms was his beloved camera. The paintbrush strokes were accented in blue, making the picture glow in a distant, far off way.

"Is that me?" he asked slowly.

"You hate it don't you? I am sorry! I should've asked you if I was allowed to paint you before I did. I feel so bad. I-"

And for the second time he interrupted me. Except this time, he cut off my words by pressing his lips up against mine. I leaned back, trying to keep my paint-covered smock away from his clothes, but he would have nothing of it. He pushed me up against the wall and kissed me deeply. My hands were in front of my chest, ready to push him off, but I slowly relaxed, as he placed his hands on either side of my head. I had never seen him act like this. It was as if he was finally assuring me that I was his and he was mine.

"You are officially a bohemian," he said, pulling away from me. I grinned, still woozy from the kiss. "Do you want to catch a bite to eat?"

"Let me just get dressed babe," I said. Crap! I slipped the _babe_ out. There was no where to turn. I could just pretend I didn't say that. I could not remember if I had ever called him that before. Even if I did, it still felt weird. I never actually felt completely comfortable after everything that happened between us. Not until now, but maybe I just blew it.

"I like that," Mark whispered, kissing me on the cheek. I grinned. I went into my bedroom, leaving him by my masterpiece and got out of my paint covered clothes. I then grabbed my purse, Mark's hand, and the doorknob. We suddenly walked smack into Maureen.

"Hi Mo," Mark greeted, gripping my hand tighter. I smiled. She looked us up and down and broke into hysterics. "Whoa!" Mark exclaimed.

Her knees buckled and he reached out and caught her. "Oh Pookie!" she cried. "What have I done? I ruined everything! I need to see Roger."

Mark looked at me as if saying, _"Sorry. This isn't what it looks like."_

I nodded. There was nothing to fear. Maureen just needed support from her first love. I completely understood. If I ever was in a pickle, I know my first love would……………well that didn't matter.

We carried a hysterical Maureen up the stairs to the loft. We sat her down on the couch. She leaned forward and just stared at the ground.

"Water?" Mark asked, sitting next to her, rubbing her knee. She just kept staring at the ground. I went to the sink and got her some.

"Where is Roger?" she mumbled.

"He should be home soon," I said. "Do you want to talk about it honey?"

Maureen continued to stare at the ground. I looked at Mark helplessly. He was looking at her hair that was covering her face. Neither of us had ever seen her distressed like this. I went to go get her a pillow to lie on, when the door slid open.

"Mark!" Roger yelled happily. "This is weird, but I need to tell you about this girl and-"

"Roger," I said, walking to him swiftly. I felt bad killing his joy. He had not been that upbeat in a while. I needed to bring him to reality though, Maureen needed him. "Not know, please!"

Roger looked at a crying Maureen. He rushed to his friend's side, shoving Mark out of the way. He cradled her in his arms, knowing she had just been crying.

"Mo," Roger whispered. "Why are you crying?"

"I ruined everything Roger," she sobbed. "I didn't know what to do. You seem to be the only person who can understand me now. I am so sorry, but I needed to see you. I didn't know what to do."

"It's okay; you know I am here for you Maureen. What's up? Is it Joanne?"

"Sort of," she sniffed.

I followed Mark over to the window. He leaned on the radiator and I joined him, feeling the cold metal against the part of skin that peeked out from the end of my shirt to the beginning of my pants. I rested my hand on Mark's shoulder, but he seemed not to notice my presence. He was concerned with his x-girlfriend. I could see it all over his face. I was concerned too. What would make her cry that badly?

"Come on, you can tell me," Roger urged. Maureen leaned against Roger, stringing her arm through his, and stroking his worn out leather coat. "Maureen?"

"Okay!" she snapped. "Something happened, something really bad. I could have controlled it, but I messed everything up. I got a call about a week ago and it was an old friend, who asked me to meet him at the Life. I met him and I figured we would just catch up. He sounded as if he truly needed me. He was desperate on the phone. Joanne was out of town, in Boston. So, I met him and had a little too much to drink. And we….we…..we slept together!"

Maureen buried her head in Roger's lap. He stroked her hair and whispered "It's okay."

"It isn't okay Roger!" she screamed. "Do you have any idea what kind of pain I went through? I had to go to a clinic! I thought I was pregnant!"

"Are you?" Mark asked.

Maureen didn't turn around to look at her former lover, she still stared at Roger. "I thought I was. I got a call this morning, though. And I am not."

"That is good!" Roger cried, bending down in front of her, giving Maureen a hug. "Then the outcome was positive for you." I took a sip of the water Maureen had rejected before, relieved the outcome was good.

"Roger," she cried, pushing him away. "Don't you get it? The outcome _was _positive!"

"Huh?"

"Iampositive," she whispered quickly, jumbling her words. We all stared at her blankly. What did she say?

"What?" Roger asked, relaxing the hold on her hands.

"I'm positive," she whispered again. Once again we stared at her, not understanding what she was saying. She got angry and screamed, "I AM POSITIVE YOU IDIOTS! I AM HIV POSITIVE! I HAVE AIDS!"

I spit my water out, dropping the glass on the ground. The hard plastic bounced on the ground and rolled under the radiator. Mark started choking on the air. Roger sat there, his eyes wide. Maureen threw herself into Roger, knocking the stunned rocker backwards. He quickly sat up and pulled her into his torso. I had never seen him hold anyone so tight, except for Mimi. It was as if he was protecting her from the virus by holding her.

"Who is it?" Roger asked. I could see tears in his eyes. Mark brought his hand to his temple and rubbed it. I just held my hand to my mouth, waiting for her answer.

"Please forgive me Roger," Maureen cried. "I knew you would be the only one to understand me. You need to help me. I cannot do this alone. And Joanne will never love me again. My life is over. I am going to die."

"We are all going to die eventually," Roger whispered. Then he repeated, "Who was it? Who did this to you? I will kill him, I swear."

"Roger," she sobbed, looking into his eyes. She was sitting in his lap on the ground in front of the couch, burying herself into his hold. She wiped her eyes and said defiantly. "Benny."

"As in Benjamin Coffin III," Mark yelled. Roger pulled Maureen up to her feet, clinging to her shoulders and shaking her as if saying, _please say this isn't true!_

Benny? Benny? Oh my God! It was all too much for me to handle. My nose started to sting and the light in front of my eyes speckled black. My legs buckled and I reached out for Mark, right before I passed out.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 25, 1991 5:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I walked in the door to my house, tripping over my bags. "What the hell?" All of my stuff was piled up on the front door.

My mother suddenly appeared at the top of the stairs. "Get out!"

"Mom," I said. I was so confused. "What are you talking about?"

"You disgraced us when you left this house. You disgraced us when you never called. Your father and I welcomed you back into our home. Then we thought you were going to turn around when you went out with Mike. I was so happy. He is the best thing for you, but then I discover this?"

My mother, talking like a mad woman, threw a book at me. I picked it up. My diary!

"You read my diary?" I screamed.

"You were a stripper? You sold your body?"

"I had to! You have no idea. I needed to get out of here. You guys didn't love me, you never did. You only loved my sister! That is all you ever did! You never cared about me!"

"I am your mother and I love you, but _this_? You know our family's standards and-"

My mother stopped talking as I was thrown into the wall. My head hit the surface and I fell to the ground. I looked up and saw my father. He dragged me back up and pinned me there.

"You are a little slut," he spat, spraying spit and the smell of beer all over my face. He dropped me to the ground and spit on my feet. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. "Get the hell out!"

"This is my house too!" I yelled. He backhanded me right across my face. My worst nightmares were back. The drunk father I knew growing up was back to hurt me.

"Get out," he whispered fiercely. His dark hair hung in his fat face. He was sweating and breathing heavily.

"I had to leave," I cried. "I was suffering here. I needed to get out. I ran out of money. I got addicted to crack. I needed to survive. Did you want me to just die?"

"At least you would've died a virgin and you would have your dignity!" my mother screamed coming to my father's side.

"I never give up without a fight," I said coldly.

"You want to fight bitch?" my father yelled. "You want to fight. He grabbed my hair and kicked me, sending me stumbling into the living room."

My idiotic mother just stood there watching. "This is all that Roger fellow's fault. And those fags you hung out with weren't any help."

I suddenly snapped to attention. "Do not ever insult Roger Davis! You have no right to say anything about my friends. They were there when no one else was. When you assholes were no shelter, I ran to them. Roger was the only person that protected me without any questions." I turned to my father. "He is more than a man than you will ever be."

My father grabbed me and slapped me across the face. "Get the hell off of me!" I screamed. He responded by punching me in the eye.

"You have disgraced this family," my mother repeated.

"You fucking bitch," I yelled, crying. "I am NOT a part of this family. I was such an idiot for coming back. What would make me think y'all would change. You will never change. Get the stick out of your ass mom and divorce this drunken loser."

"That is your father," my mother yelled.

"No dad would ever hurt me the way he has," I whispered. And for the final time in my life, my father came at me. He picked me up and threw my body into the air and down the hallway. I landed on the end table, barely missing my neck. Then table shattered under my weight. I felt my ribs crack. I laid there for a moment, wishing I would die. When I sat up, my parents were no longer standing there. I hobbled over to my bags and left the house I grew up in. For the second time, I was leaving this house, to go back on the streets.

The air felt good against my face. I took a deep breath. I was free. I was in pain and bleeding, but I was free. I never had to face my parents again. I had no where to go, but freedom was worth it. I went to the one of the places I found some comfort: The Park.

I crawled into the tunnel under the slide with my bags and lied there. I closed my eyes for a moment and when I opened them, it was dark and Mike was staring at me. I jumped out of my skin and when I regained consciousness, I realized how cold it was.

"Mimi," he said. "I just spoke to your mother and heard what happened."

I went to speak, but when words came out, my body ached. I just nodded.

"Come on," he said, pulling me out gently and supporting me. "You're bleeding. You're dad must have gotten you really good this time."

"You remember when he used to hurt me?" I asked, surprised he knew of all my pain.

"Oh yes," he said. "Don't you?"

"Not really," I sighed. "I tried to block them out. They are just blurs and nightmares to me."

"One time," Mike whispered. "He came at you with a kitchen knife." Mike lifted my sleeve and pointed at a scar on the inside of my biceps. I shuddered. I didn't remember that one.

"I think I need to go back to Avenue A, Mike," I admitted. "This isn't where I belong."

"Baby," Mike said. "You belong with me, I care about you. You can move in with me."

"Oh no," I replied. "It has been to long, we are still strangers. I feel like I barely know you."

"We are _not_ strangers! Mimi, we grew up together, remember?" He waited and when I didn't respond he continued, "So, it is settled. You will move in with me! I promise nothing will happen to you there. I will keep you safe."

"Really?" I asked, clinging to my side. The pain left my mind. Mike was the only thing I could see.

"I'll cover you Mira," he said. "I always will."

* * *

Question for everyone: (I need this feedback badly.) 

Should this story be really long or should I make a sequel? I am a little more than halfway through this fic.

Also do you prefer short or extremely long chapters?!?

Also……

I feel bad that I sometimes take a while to update, so I am giving you guys the option to send me an email and ask for a sneak peek! I will send you a short spoiler or preview for the up-coming chapter. So hopefully I will get some e-mailers for that.

READ AND REVIEW!


	24. After All

Please keep reading.

_Disclaimer: Don't even ask_

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**After All**

(Angel's POV)

_June 30, 1991 4:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I was leaning on the building next to the small convenience store. All of us were watching, waiting for the lights inside to shut off and the manager to lock up and make his way to the car. I suggested that we should wait in the car, but they all laughed at me, saying that was a stupid idea, which gave them more reason to prove I never was doing my job in the Lower East Village.

"Alright," Michael said. "Let's move." The lights flicked off. Papa Roo and Michael advanced forward. I felt a strange lurch in my stomach. The same lurch I got when this damned gang came and took me after murdering my brother.

The man we were after owed Big a _lot_ of money. He sent us to "finish him off." I was going to hang back with Rufus, because we were not as experienced as the other two. This was also a tricky job, because we were in the public eye. It had to be swift and deadly.

"Yo man," Michael called to the store owner. The Latino man turned around and saw the four of us coming towards him. I could see him pretending we didn't know who we were. I felt bad for his wide eyed look.

"Hello," he said slowly.

"You Javier Lopez?" Michael slithered.

"Who's asking?" Javier said shortly. This pissed off Papa Roo, who had no patience whatsoever. He whipped out his knife and came at the middle aged man, stabbing him in the chest three times, before sprinting back to the alley. I was hypnotized by this dieing man. He looked up at me for help, but what could I do? I reached down toward his outstretched hand. He was gasping. Before I could say anything, Rufus grabbed me and dragged me to the car that we parked in the dark alley.

"What the hell Angelo?" Rufus cried. "You could have cost us precious seconds to get away." Michael sped off.

"WHY? Why would you just _stab_ him?" Michael yelled.

Papa was twirling the blood covered knife in his hands. "Whatever," he replied. "He is dead. The mission is over."

"That was a stupid move and you know it," Michael mumbled. Then his voice got louder as he turned to me. "AND YOU! I don't care if Big keeps telling me to trust you. I know that you betrayed us. You killed squat in the East. You could have spared us this Los Caballos issue if you just did your job. So shape up or you can go 6 feet under with your brother!"

There was an awkward silence. Even Papa Roo, who always acted so tough, was speechless.

"Now," Michael cut sharply. "I have to be home in an hour. I had to sneak out, so I am going to call Big and then we are done for the now."

The rest of the ride was cold and distant. Michael got on the phone around the corner from my house and said into it, "He's done."

I got out and before I could say goodbye, the car lurched away, throwing dust in the air. I walked to my sleeping home and let myself in. I walked up the stairs and threw myself on the bed. I never wanted to eat or sleep or move again. I pulled a piece of paper out of the bedside table and began writing.

Thomas,

Forgive me for not writing, but I am too ashamed of my past to ever face you again. I watched a man die today and didn't do anything about it. I am a horrible person. Please don't respond to this letter. I just needed to let you know that this man was just like you or me. He had a lover and a small child. Two children, maybe. They will grow up without a father. The wife will need to work to keep the house and the children will come home to an empty home every night. And I could've stopped it. But I didn't do anything about it. I just stood there and watched.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_June 30, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I couldn't remember the last time I saw the building in front of me. **Cyber Home Studios** was shining in the afternoon sun. It was 1, so I knew Allison got pedicures everyday at this time. She was anal about her feet.

I made my way up to the front door, where I was greeted by the same doorman.

"Where to?" he asked politely.

"Frank," I said. "It's me."

"Miss Erika?" the older man gasped. "What are you doing here? I thought I would never see your smiling face again."

"I thought the same. But I have some unfinished business that is mandatory."

"Well, be quick and don't cause a disruption."

I grinned at Frank. "Do I ever?" I winked. I pushed past him and made my way into the elevator, letting the music calm my scared and sad nerves. Once it lurched to a stop, at the 23rd floor, I took a deep breath and stepped out and-

"Benjamin!" Allison screamed. "I don't know what to do with you anymore! Now I am late, so just don't talk to me now. I am leaving and when I come back I want an explanation!"

I ducked behind a tall plant around the corner. Allison strutted off onto the elevator. The doors closed, but I swore that right before she was out of sight, she caught me gaze. After I was sure it was safe, I stood up and went to knock on the large wooden door.

"Come in!" called a familiar voice. I obeyed and slowly opened the door. I tiptoed into the living room, where_ he_ had his back to me, watching the television. He cleared his throat, "I thought you said that you didn't want to talk-"

He stopped dead in his tracks and stared at me. I wanted to slap him and I probably would. I have never hated a man so much. If I was to pick anything in the world to loathe at that moment it would be him. I wanted to make him disappear from the face of the earth. I wanted to, I wanted to, I wanted to………

"Benny."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_June 30, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was lying in Mike's bed, sound asleep. Ever since I got here, he had agreed to sleep on the couch, until I was comfortable with everything. Anyway, the blankets were pulled up over my head and my right foot was sticking out at the end of the bed. I was curled into a ball, the way I usually slept. I was pretty sure that I had never been more comfortable.

There was a strange sensation on my foot that made me jump. I opened my eyes quickly, only seeing the darkness of the cover of the blanket. I yawned and peeked over the edge, finding myself face to face with Mike, who was tickling my foot.

"Hi," I said sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Almost 1," he said. "You can still sleep if you want. I just couldn't resist myself from tickling you."

I laughed and sat up. "No, I will get up now."

"There is food downstairs," he said. "I am going to go shower."

I pulled myself out of bed. I was wearing striped boxers and a wife beater. I had no intension of changing, so I pulled on one of Mike's sweatshirts and a pair of my slippers. Then, I trudged downstairs, to find something to eat. In the kitchen, there were about 10 large boxes filled with groceries. Everything was double the size. I grabbed an immense box of cheerios and searched for a bowl.

"You find everything okay?"

I jumped at the voice, turning around quickly. Mike was standing there with a towel around his waist, his hair dripping wet.

"That was quick," I commented.

"I couldn't stand being away from you," he teased.

"What is with all the food?"

"Oh," he blushed. "Sorry about that. It's the grocery store I go to. Everything comes in bulk, because I hate food shopping, so I get a lot so I don't have to do it as often. I hope you don't mind."

He grinned in that way that he always used to do. I couldn't help myself. I leaned forward and put my hand on his chest. It was warm. He looked at me, shocked. Before I knew it, he picked me up and began kissing me, carrying me up the stairs. We lost his towel halfway up. I felt like a teenager again with him, except this time, we didn't need to sneak around, to hide from our parents. It was just us. He threw me on the bed I was just sleeping in and right before he lay down with me, I saw his clothes balled up on the floor. In the back pocket of his jeans, I saw a very disturbing sight that I never wanted to think about again. So I ignored it, like most things in my life. I ignored it and thought, _"This must be a mistake."_

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_June 30, 1991 1:05 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Erika?" he asked, slowly standing up. I backed away, knowing if he got any closer I would deck him. "What are you doing here?"

"You are a horrible person!" I yelled. Okay, that was really dorky, but I was too angry to care.

"What are you talking about?" he asked gently. Oh God, don't do this to me Benny. Please don't ask me in a nice tone. "Come here, sit down, I will get you some water."

"NO!"

He jumped back. "What has gotten into you?"

"More like what have you gotten _in to_?" I snarled.

"Erika?" he asked calmly. "Are you okay? I think living _out there _has been to stressful on you. Come home for a little. Allison won't mind."

"Benny," she sighed. "Do you know where I have been for the last couple of months?"

"No," he said. "We tried to find you. Well, I did."

"No you didn't," I laughed. "You are just a sweet talking jerk. I have been in the Lower East Village. I was living in the loft! The same loft you apparently lived in and now are the landlord for. I have been dating your x-best friend Mark. And you know what-"

"_You_ are dating _Mark_?" he interrupted. "Mark Cohen? The scrawny filmmaker? The Jewish little-"

"YES!" I exclaimed. "Lay off."

"Why are you here," he laughed. "Because if you were going to rub _that_ in my face, it is pathetic."

"I came, because I know about Maureen," I said coldly. His face paled and he looked at me. He sort of fumbled with his hands and then came closer to me.

"I don't know what you are-"

Slap 1. I slapped him across the cheek. Not just for what was happening now, but for everything. It felt good.

"Erika!" he replied to the slap. "What was that for?"

Slap 2. "Benny, you cheating asshole."

He smirked. "You never minded when you were the one I was cheating with."

Slap 3! Three strikes and you're out. That is what my father always said. In this case it applied. Benny grabbed my right wrist and pulled it down by my side.

"STOP!" he said. "You are acting ridiculous." He pushed me back into the wall and glared at me for a moment.

"Let go of me," I said through gritted teeth. "NOW!"

"Why did you even come?" he asked again. "Why do you care?"

"I care because you gave Maureen AIDS!" I cried. He let go of me and I slid to the floor, too exhausted to stand. I looked up at him. He looked so lost and hopeless.

"AIDS?" he whispered. "She has AIDS?"

"And you gave it to her," I whispered. "You've ruined her life. Why would you hurt her like this?"

"I didn't know," he said. He suddenly went to the coat rack grabbed his jacket and stomped to the front door. I ran past him and blocked the exit with my body. "MOVE ERIKA!" he yelled.

"Where are you going? You need to stay!"

"I need to find Maureen."

"Please," I begged. "Just wait 2 minutes. I came to talk to _you_."

"Then talk!" he snapped. I said nothing. "Exactly! You have nothing to say. You just wanted to come and hurt me. You are a crazy little-"

"You didn't know?"

"Didn't know what?" he snapped again.

"About…………the AIDS?" I asked slowly.

"Of course I didn't know," his voice grew soft. "If I knew do you honestly think I would do that to her?"

"I…..I……" I had never thought of that. Maybe Benny wasn't out to get her.

"You need to understand that I love all of them. Roger, Mark, Maureen, Collins, Mimi………anyway, they are my friends and I wouldn't do something to hurt them. I just wanted to be with someone that night. I never meant for it to get that far."

"Benny," I said. "I am sorry about slapping you."

"It wouldn't be the first time," Benny teased, referring to our fights when we used to date behind my cousin, Allison's back.

"Benny," I repeated. "I am so sorry about this."

"How am I going to tell Allison?" he asked. "She will flip."

"The real question is how long have you had it?"

"I don't know," he sighed, retreating back to the living room. "I think I got it from Mimi."

"Marquez?" I gasped. He nodded. I had no idea. I thought I heard something about it, but this was too much.

"Well," I sighed. "You still need to tell Allison, sooner than later, please!" Benny just stared at me. I wanted to give him a hug and let him know I cared about him and would support him, but I knew I couldn't do that. I had a feeling I wouldn't be seeing him for a long time.

"So," he said, wiping his eyes. "Let's not talk about this. Come sit down. Do you want anything? Tell me everything! What is new? How is everyone?"

"Eh, we are all basically broken now. Let me start from the beginning. Mimi and Mark had sex behind Roger's back. Roger flipped out."

"I am sure he did," Benny laughed.

"He apparently went crazy. This is before I got there, though. I was still _here_. Anyway, later, Joanne turned out to be my lawyer and then I started dating Mark. Roger later got payback on Mimi by sleeping with me. This whole big drama started. I pushed Mimi down the stairs. She was pregnant with Mark's kid and lost the baby. Then, Angel left to go back to her hometown. Then, Mimi left and we haven't heard from her since."

"And now Maureen has AIDS," Benny finished.

"HIV positive blood," I said. "Like you."

"I never thought Mimi would leave," Benny laughed sadly. "She really loved Roger. I guess people just change, you know?"

It got really awkward. Of course people change. That is why we are not together anymore. Maybe I would have been dating him still. But he became obsessed with money more than ever. And he started treating me more like the "other" woman. I hated it. So, yes Benny, people change. And you are probably the biggest proof.

"Well," I said. "I better go."

"When can I see you again?"

"I don't know. Just watch your back, because I know the boys were pretty pissed about this," I replied, feeling as if I might cry. "Good luck and please tell Allison everything."

"Erika," Benny whispered. "Thanks. And remember, I am always here if you need me." He pulled me toward him and held me in a strong brotherly hug. I buried my face in his shirt, knowing that somehow everything would be okay. And it all it took was one hug from an old lover, to know my life was going to make it after all.

* * *

More reviews would be nice. 


	25. Big Mistakes

Do not give up one me! I am back. And I swear if I get a lot of reviews right away, then I will post again on Sunday. Promise!

* * *

**Big Mistakes**

(Narrator's POV)

_November 30, 1991 _

And maybe they did make it after all! Or maybe not. 5 months had passed since Erika and Benny had their closure. Not a lot had changed. Then again, so much _had_ changed over the year, what else was there to change?

Erika and Mark were still together. She tried to keep her confrontation with Benny a secret, but soon he discovered it, making things awkward. The couple spent most of their time at work. Alexi Darling loved the idea of a dating couple working together on a news team. Mark loved the fact that Erika was so much easier to work with, than any of his old partners. He wasn't getting yelled at constantly anymore. Erika loved that Mark was there to tell her what to do and coach her, so she did not look like an idiot at her job.

As for our rocker, he has just been floating through life. His band at the Life Café was doing really well and Roger was coming out with more new songs that ever. He wasn't really Roger, though. He was just a man residing in his once living body. He was barely alive, showing no emotion. He would laugh, smile, and interact. True, he was in much better shape than when he was in withdrawal, but Mark knew inside, the pain felt the same for his best friend. Roger was trying though. He had gone out with a few girls, but nothing seemed to be going his way. They would all break up with him, saying that everything reminded Roger of Mimi and they were sick of it.

Maureen told Joanne she was HIV positive. Much to Joanne's frustration, Maureen would not reveal how she got it. Joanne really came through, though and promised she would stand by Maureen for the time being. They were more like intimate friends now, then lovers. Things were getting harder for the two. It really was.

Collins had not heard from Angel since she left. He kept telling everyone she would come back, but he even doubted it. He was strong, though. He was prepared for the worst and praying for the best. In the meantime, he busied himself with work.

Angel was still working for the gang, not revealing her drag queen lifestyle. She hated every minute of it and found all the men and killing repulsive. She knew she could not leave……………for now, at least.

And finally, Mimi. What is there to say about the young Latina? Despite her first instincts, Mike was not as bad as she thought. She was falling in love with him, in a way. The two were happy together. Mimi felt as if she was starting over. There was no more talk of pain or past, just future and love.

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_November 30, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I walked over to the bar with the rest of the guys from the gang. I overheard Michael laughing and speaking with Papa Roo. "I almost got her," he was saying. I rolled my eyes and sat on the stool.

"Hey Rufus," I said.

"Angelo," Rufus said quickly. "We need to talk." He turned to his brother and finished the conversation he was immersed in. "I'll be right back, but I say you just drop the question."

"Oh there she is!" Michael exclaimed. "Hey baby! Over here!" He pointed in the direction of a crowd. In the middle, I saw a tall blonde haired girl walking towards him. If that was her, she was very pretty. Before I could see anymore, Rufus led me out of the bar.

Rufus sighed and stared at me for a long time, before speaking. "Angelo? What is going on with us?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you first left for the East side, we were a _thing_. And-"

"Darling," I grinned. "We were every_thing_, but-"

"Angelo! Stop! I thought we were still together and I come to find you and you are so distant from me. You are acting as if _we_ never happened."

"I know," I sighed. "A lot changed on the East, though. I met new people and I got a new style and-"

"ANGELO! Do you still love me? Can you honestly say you still love me?"

"We have been so far away for so long. How can I still-"

"This is a business you are born into. You need to leave loved ones. But that is why we are a faithful group! So what happened?"

"I met someone else," I said. "You know, in Alphabet City. Rufus, you need to understand that I can't wait around forever. I don't have _that _much time, remember?"

"Angelo, you cheated on me?"

"RUFUS! How can I stand here and say I love you when I don't? You betrayed me! You betrayed my family! You killed my brother! You gave me AIDS! True, I loved you once, but then you hurt me in ways you cannot even imagine. I needed someone I could trust and I found him."

"Who is he?" Rufus said in a cold voice.

"He is…………………not important," I whispered.

"Oh no," Rufus yelled. "Who is he?"

"Why?" I cried. "Why do you want to know?"

"Who is he?" replied an angry Rufus.

"The love of my life!" I screamed. "I am sorry Rufus, but I am not a killer! I never was and never will be. I was forced into this _business_, not born into it. You and Michael and everyone else are true killers. I cannot be. If you knew who I really was, you would see! If I could act like I used to everyday of my life, you would see I am the farthest thing from a killer. I don't want this. I don't want it at all."

There was a long and awkward silence after my explosion. I didn't mean to say any of that. I knew it was a mistake. I was panting heavily and put a hand on the side of the building to balance myself.

Rufus gave me a death stare before running his fingers through his hair. Then he sighed and turned around, looking for something, anything that would help him make sense of all this. He then turned to me and glared.

"Big mistake Angelo," he snarled. "Big mistake."

"Actually," I smirked. "In the Lower East Village, they call me Angel. Angel the drag queen, that is."

Rufus turned around, opened the door, and said over his shoulder, "You're done." The door to the bar slammed and I took a deep breath, leaning against the wall and sliding to the ground. I was free. My killing days were over.

I waited a few minutes and walked back into the bar. The blonde girl was sitting at the bar where all of the guys I came in with originally were. I sat down next to her. She glanced at me and smiled.

"Hi," I said, sticking out my hand. "I am Angel."

"Oh," she said, taking a sip of her wine. She stuck out her hand and swallowed the beverage. "Hi, I am Amanda."

"So how are you and Michael?"

"I beg your pardon?" she asked. Suddenly a man with a tight white muscle shirt came and kissed her on the cheek.

"Hey baby," he said. "Sorry I am late."

"Oh," I said. "You aren't dating Michael?"

"Who is Michael?" the man asked.

Amanda held up a skinny finger at the man. "Hold on Keith!" She turned to me and said, "Maybe you have the wrong person."

"I think I do too," I said. I was so embarrassed. "My friend Michael pointed at you and said 'there she is,' so I thought it was you, but he must have been pointing at someone else. Sorry about that."

"No big deal Angel," she grinned. She turned back to Keith and left me to order a drink and re-organize my thoughts.

I would go home and pack. I needed to say goodbye to Mama. That was going to be hard. I could promise to come back with Collins. Oh Collins! I missed him so much. I could not wait to go home.

My drink arrived and I took a big swig of the beer. It felt so good having the alcohol run down my throat. I took a cleansing breath and finished my drink.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_November 30, 1991 4:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"One egg roll, one California roll, two pints of chicken and broccoli, and…………………what else do you guys want? Hello?" Collins was screaming at all of us as he placed an order for Chinese food.

"Vegetable Lo Mein," Erika said. She was standing at the sink, washing the dishes. She had really turned her life around. She had been cleaning the loft like crazy and she even became a vegetarian. She had also been painting every chance she got. I came up from behind, wrapping my arms around her small waist. "Hey Mark," she smiled.

"How are you?" I asked, leaning against the counter and staring at the couch, where Maureen sat in Joanne's arms.

"Fine," she grinned. Her voice suddenly dropped. "Is Roger coming tonight?"

"Yes after band practice," I whispered. "Why?"

"I don't know. I have just been worried about him. You know how things have been around here. Everything has been really awkward with Joanne and Maureen and Ben………"

Erika trailed off, not finishing her sentence and avoiding my gaze. She was going to say Benny. I didn't care if she said it either. That was 5 months ago. And when it happened we were all pissed, but it was over now. I sighed as I remembered that day.

_Roger and I stood in front of the building where Benny resided. I didn't think this was necessary at all. I turned to him and gave a small smile._

"_Should we just go home?"_

"_After what he did to Maureen?" Roger shouted. "Fuck no!"_

_The two of us walked up to the door, where a doorman stood, who asked us where we were going. Roger just ignored him, shoving past him. It didn't seem like the old man was going to do anything about it either. We hit the elevator. Roger seemed to know where he was going as he hit the 23rd floor button. I was starting to feel like this was unnecessary. What were we going to say? What were we going to do?_

_The elevator opened and Roger strode up to a door and knocked on it roughly. There was a voice inside and it was definitely Benny's. The door opened and Roger shoved the man, who used to be our best friend backwards. I prayed Allison wasn't home._

"_What the hell?" Benny yelled._

"_You prick," Roger said, continuing to push him backwards. "You knock up Maureen and leave her a fucking note that says 'shit happens'? What is wrong with you? I am fucking done with you."_

"_You are just still sore that Mimi and I used to be together," Benny yelled. "Get out of my house!"_

_Big mistake! Roger decked him in the right eye. Benny clutched his eye, which was slowly beginning to swell. _

"_Sucks for you now," Benny grunted. "Sucks for you, because she doesn't love you anymore and she is gone. She left you."_

_Mistake number two! Roger grabbed his shoulder and punched him in the gut, bringing him to his knees. Benny groaned and held his stomach. _

"_Roger!" I said loudly. "Just stop!"_

"_How the hell did you know that?" Roger asked, ignoring me._

"_Erika told me," he panted. At that moment, a nerve was struck. What was she doing here? Erika and Benny know each other?_

"_You are a liar!" Roger yelled. "She wouldn't hang out with scum like you. She is the only pure one."_

_I almost had the urge to thank Roger for standing up for my girlfriend. I swallowed it down though. _

"_Well she is actually the liar," Benny said, backing away from Roger, so as he wouldn't get hit again. "She is Allison's cousin. She used to live here. We used to date………sort of."_

"_So you cheated on Allison with her too?" Roger asked his tone dropping to one of confusion. _

_Benny didn't respond. He just stared at us. I turned and left the room. Right as I reached the door, I heard Roger deck him one more time. He moaned and hit the floor._

"_You are a fucking jerk. Stay the hell away from Maureen and Erika!"_

"_And Mimi?" Benny asked, through a bloody nose. "Oh wait, you cannot tell me to do that, because she is no longer yours."_

_The rock star shoved the toe of his boot into our landlord's stomach. "She does not belong to anyone! You of all people should know that."_

_The two of us walked out of the building, with me booking it to get home. I didn't want to face my best friend. I was too embarrassed. I thought Erika was perfect. But she was just like everyone else. She had slept with Benny. She was with Benny! _

_We made it to the loft and I slid open the door. Erika came forward, grinning. "Where were you guys?" she asked._

"_You are a fucking whore," Roger snarled, pointing a finger at my girlfriend. "You are a whore."_

"_What the hell Roger?" she squealed._

_I couldn't even back her up. She looked to me for help. I was disgusted with her. The image of Benny and her together made me want to vomit. She was just like every other whore I had ever met. That special spark she had was gone._

"_I don't know what to say Erika," I whispered. "We went to see Benny today. And he told us…………he told us………well he told us what you obviously didn't!"_

"Mark? Mark? Hello?"

I looked up to see Erika smiling at me. Her voice had jolted me out of that memory. Needless to say, we made up a week later. Roger still never seemed to forgive her, but he needed to get over it. I remember Erika one night yelling at him and screaming _'you're one to talk! You have no right to call me a whore. Did you forget who your ex-girlfriend is?' _The reference to Mimi put Roger into a solemn state. True, it was harsh and perhaps unnecessary, but it seemed to be just the thing that ended the quarrel.

"ROGER!" Maureen and Collins screamed at the same time.

Roger walked in and smiled at everyone, before disappearing into his bedroom. We heard him open his guitar case and begin strumming on it. He had been working on the same song for what seemed like forever.

I sighed as he began singing the sad and tired lyrics, "Give me one last chance for one last dance. I need you, I love you………………………"

"That boy needs a girl," Collins whispered.

"No," I spoke up. "That would never work."

"Why not?" replied Maureen.

"He loved her too much. And he still does."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 1, 1991 8:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Name?"

"I am actually meeting someone," I said. "Michael-"

"Oh yes!" the host of the restaurant said rapidly. "Right this way."

I was impressed by the host, who seemed to know Michael all too well. He led me up stairs to a private table overlooking the restaurant. The man pulled my chair out, left me with a menu, and bowed before hurrying off. I looked around at the dim room and smiled. It was such a relaxing atmosphere. There was a small dance floor, where a few couples were holding each other, and swaying to the live band's music. I wanted to get out there and show off my new dress. It was possibly the nicest thing I had ever bought. Michael gave me some money and I went into town today. I saw it in a window of a small dress store and it was perfect. It was a short little red dress that hugged my torso and ruffled at the bottom, stopping a few inches above my knees. I treated myself to little red stilettos to finish the outfit.

"Where is he?" I mumbled. I pulled a small mirror out of my purse and checked my makeup and hair in it. My usual curly rat nest was pinned up. I never really cared about looks or anything, but a lot seemed to be changing.

"Miss Marquez?" a waiter whispered. I smiled up at him and my gay-dar went off immediately. "Would you like to order?"

"I will just wait for my date," I replied.

"Of course," he said before walking away. After a while, I grew impatient. Where could he be? I felt so awkward sitting here. I felt as if I was on display or something. It was driving me crazy. I stood up, to go to the restroom and just get out of there, when Michael walked up the steps.

"You look amazing," he grinned, giving me a kiss. He looked amazing too. His hair was smooth and silky and his suit was pressed neatly. He pulled my chair out for me and called over the waiter. I gazed at him as he ordered our food and seemed to know that I wanted the Oriental Chicken Salad.

"This is so sweet," I said. "What is the occasion?"

"Can I not take my girlfriend out for dinner without a reason?"

"I guess you can. It is just that no one has ever done this all for me."

"Well I am not just a regular guy," he whispered.

"I guess you aren't!" I giggled as he took my hand in his and kissed it.

"So what did you do today?" he questioned. "Well, besides buying that stunning outfit."

Aw! He noticed. I wanted to melt! "That is about all I did. And then you called me to meet you here. Well, you were late and I had to sit here all by myself." I exaggerated the late part, adding a lot of sighs into my speech to make him feel guilty. And it seemed to work.

"I was a little busy Mira," he said, cutting me off.

"With what?" I prodded.

"I was talking to your parents."

I practically spit out my drink. Why would he do that? Is he an idiot? Of course he is! "Why would you talk to them?"

"I needed to work some things out. But I think I cleared everything up. Mira, they wanted me to give this to you." Michael handed me a small envelope.

I opened it and out feel a small gold charm bracelet from when I was a baby. It had four charms. One was the moon, one was the sun, one was a star, and one was heart. I fingered it for a moment and then I pulled out a small letter. It was plain, short, and to the point.

_We are not sorry. But we found a way for you to regain connection to your Spanish roots and a way for you to regain our loyalty and love._

"This is what you went to get from them? This is bullshit. I told you already, I am done with them. I never want to speak to them again."

"Don't you even want to know what they want you to do?"

"Not really," I said quickly. I was slightly angry that he would have the nerve to go back to my parents. The same parents that cause me to cry my eyes out and run away, straight into his arms.

"Well I feel obligated to tell you," he said. He still had that stupid grin on his face. I wanted to slap it off of him.

"If you must," I sighed.

"I wanted to wait to do this until after we ate, but you just look so stunning, I need to do it now. Mira, Miriam, we have been through so much. We grew up together, we cried together, we laughed together, and now we are living together. We have always used each other as a shoulder to lean on. It has all been great, but I feel we need to step it up. And in order to do that, I need to step down. Well, kneel down."

Suddenly, Michael got down on one knee. I once again almost spit out my drink. I began breathing heavily. "Michael, what are you doing?" I asked slowly. He just grinned at me. No! No, this cannot be happening! I wanted him to stop. "Stand up Michael." I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Please just stand back up babe."

"Call me crazy, but I have never fallen in love with someone this fast. Call me crazy, but I am in love with you Mira," he replied, pulling a little black velvet box out of his pocket. I watched his open it and inside was a dazzling diamond ring. It had all the works, with a silver band and a huge diamond in the middle, surrounded by smaller ones.

"I…I………I……don't know what to say and-"

"Say you will marry me!" he beamed. "I am not getting any younger and I want to settle down. Come on Mira! You can get your life back together. It is going to work. Just say you will marry me!"

The last part felt forced. True, we weren't getting any younger, but it wasn't like we were _that_ old. I wanted to spend more time on my own, you know? I just couldn't say yes! But then I looked at his hopeful face. He loved me! And I said I loved him. He was probably the only man, who would treat me like a princess. I couldn't say no. He was right, though. This would get my life back in order.

"Okay," I said. "Okay!"

"Okay?" he jumped up, placing the extravagant ring on my left ring finger.

"Okay," I squealed. I threw my arms around him and I let him pick me up and twirl me around. He was mine! Michael was mine, _my _fiancé, _my _future husband! The whole restaurant cheered on the new couple that was on display. And that couple was us!

* * *

Poll 

A. Yes! That are engaged! I am so happy!

B. Cool. It really doesn't matter to me.

C. What were you thinking? Roger is the only man for her! You are crazzzyyyy!

D. I hate marriage.

READ AND REVIEW!


	26. Real Support

Sorry it has been a while. Life has been a little hectic. I have my Sweet Charity performance this weekend and Sunday was my birthday, so I was away all of last weekend. But I wrote a lot and I will post at least 2 chapters by the end of this weekend. Promise!

_Disclaimer: I got a huge RENT book for my birthday. And I asked for Adam Pascal, but I couldn't get him. All in all, I still don't own RENT. But I am sixteen! ;-)_

* * *

**Real Support**

(Roger's POV)

_December 2, 1991 4:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

This is the twelfth night in a row that I have not been able to sleep. I really don't know what is wrong with me. I think once I finish my song I will be better. But how can I finish my song when I have no inspiration? This is really starting to suck. I don't know how much longer I can go on.

I forced myself out of bed and walked into the kitchen. Maybe some water would calm me down and help me fall asleep. Erika and Mark were sitting on the couch, sound asleep. They must have dozed off there, watching our crappy television set. I turned on the water, poured it into a dusty cup, and drank. It tasted like copper and dried blood. I poured the unfinished liquid down the drain.

Mark began to stir, so I walked back to my room and shut the door. I could hear Mark wake up and carry Erika back downstairs to her room. He had no idea how good he had it. True, his girlfriend was a pain and everything, but she was there for him. He had someone to love. I admired them for still taking it so slowly. I can just see the love on each other's faces. I wish I still had someone like that to care for.

My life might as well end. I mean, nothing is going good for me. My friends hate me. My band thinks I am a workaholic. I have no interest to go out anymore. I just cannot stand living.

_I miss Mimi._

o o o o o

(Angel's POV)

_December 2, 1991 4:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"Mama?" I whispered. "Mama?"

Her eyes opened slowly and she smiled when she saw me. I brushed the hair out of her face. She grabbed my wrist and squeezed it. She knew what was going on. I could tell she did.

"You're going," she whispered. "Aren't you?"

"Mama, I will come back. I promise. I can bring Tom back. You will love him. I just need to go home now."

"You got away from them didn't you?" she sat up.

"Who?"

"The gang, those awful boys, whom killed your brother."

"How did you know I was with them this whole time?" I sat down on the edge of the bed.

"A mother knows."

"Mama, do not take pity on Joey. He killed himself by associating with the gang. You know that! It is his own fault he died. He got us all into this mess. Please don't have pity on him."

"He was my son. I need to have pity on him. But Angelo, will they come after me?"

I was surprised my mother knew all about our gang life. I had a feeling she did. I was still shocked. She was going to be safe, though. I knew she would be. They wouldn't harm her. They were monsters, but they were not _that _bad. They would never target a mother.

"No," I whispered. "They won't."

I kissed her goodbye and started to leave. I wanted to get out as soon as possible, before sunrise.

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_December 2, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Maureen," Mark called at me. I groaned and looked over the top of the couch at him. "Stop moping around! AZT break!"

"I hate that damn phrase!" I moaned.

"You need to get used to it you damn drama queen," he teased, throwing my little pill bottle at me. I swallowed one dry. I gagged as the rough pill scraped my throat all the way down to my stomach.

"Where are you going?" I coughed.

"I need to go down to the office for a little. Erika is there and we need to go over some material for Alexi," he said, wrapping a scarf around his neck. "Stay warm, okay!"

"I will try," I sighed. He left and I flipped on the fuzzy television set. There was nothing good on, so I just turned it off and buried myself deeper into the blanket. Joanne was on a business trip and wouldn't be back for a week. It didn't matter, though. It is not like I could cheat or anything. I was officially worthless. No one would want to sleep with a girl who was infected with dirty blood.

Cheating? How could I even think of that _again!_ That is what got me into this mess in the first place. I never was sorrier though. I hated facing her day in and day out. We never officially broke up, but I knew that was the last straw. She said she still loved me, but she also reminded me that she could never look at me the same way again. Maybe I didn't care, though. Maybe I deserved this. I finally know what Roger feels like everyday. I wish I could go back in time and apologize for all the times I yelled at him for being such a party pooper. I had no idea that this is what it felt like to have a death sentence hanging over your head. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

There was a soft knock at the door. Who the hell would knock? No one has ever knocked on the big old steel door. Not even Benny!

"Whatever you are selling we don't want it!" I yelled. I heard a familiar giggle on the other side and jumped off the couch. It can't be! Can it?

I threw it open, letting the wheels supporting the entrance way spin like crazy. The whole building shook, but I didn't notice. She was actually back!

"MIMI!" I screamed, jumping on her. She surprisingly caught me and laughed as she returned the embrace.

"Hi Maureen," she laughed. "Can I come in?"

"Can you come in?" I yelled. "What kind of a question is that? Of course you can! This was your home ya know!" Her smile faded slightly. "And it always will be," I added quickly.

"How are you?" she grinned, sitting on the couch. She looked around sadly. "Nothing seems to have changed around here. Where is everybody?"

"Mark and Erika are at Buzzline, Joanne is in Boston, and Collins has just busied himself with work. He has been like that ever since Angel left."

"Angel hasn't come back!" Mimi exclaimed.

"Oh yeah," I said. "We haven't heard from her or anything. It kind of sucks, but Collins said she will be fine. But enough about them! How are you?"

"Good," she laughed. "Actually really good, I'm-"

"Hold on! Where have you been staying? Are you back for good now? We have missed you! Why didn't you call?"

"Oh Maureen, it was too hard for me to call. I was staying at my parents, but then I moved and I am staying with an old friend. And no, I am not back for good. I just came by for a little visit."

"You have no idea how happy I am that you are back. We have so much catching up to do-"

"Hold on!" she gasped. "I am not staying _that_ long. I just wanted to ask all of you a question."

"Oh," I sighed. I was really disappointed. I thought she was going to stay and be with us for a while. There was no way to describe how much I missed her. She was and is truly my best friend. She was the one person I could tell everything to. And now she felt like a stranger.

She smiled uncomfortably and raised her left hand to her cheek and rested her chin in her palm, looking very depressed, as she stared at the ground. Oh yes! She was a stranger. The old Mimi would have been initiating conversation left and right. She would have been laughing and joking and telling stories and……whoa!

"IS THAT A RING MIMI?" I gasped. She looked shocked and sat back. Then she registered the words in her head and looked down at her finger and smiled to herself.

"Yes," she grinned. "Yes! My old boyfriend Michael and I got back together and he proposed to me."

"Mimi," I sighed. "I am so happy for you….but……………but……………I am just shocked and what about-"

The door opened up, cutting me off. Roger stood in the doorway. He didn't even glance my way. He went straight to his room, mumbling a small hello. I looked back at Mimi, who was bewildered that Roger didn't even notice her. She looked back at me and frowned. "Is he always like that?"

"Ever since you left."

"I feel like I barely know him anymore."

"Well you really don't. A lot has happened and Mimi……we just want you to come back. Roger has been a mess and we all love and miss you."

"I can't," Mimi said firmly. "Michael gives me something I have never had before. Support, Maureen, he gives me support. I need to move on. I cannot keep living on the past and suffering." I was quiet and she looked at me sadly. "I love you all. That is why I want you to come to my wedding. Please?"

"Mimi, support comes in all kinds of forms. You had more support than ever here. Michael may have the money to buy you love. But we gave you the support that you can only find in situations where you love someone more than life itself. That is support Mimi. That is what we gave you. That is what you had. That is what _Roger_ gave you."

"Maureen," she said slowly. I could see tears in her eyes. She looked around and stood up, turning around and walking right into Roger. He had come out of his room and was watching us, his jaw wide open. She looked up at him, placing a hand on his chest, out of habit. She slowly backed up and smiled for him. "Hi Roger."

"Mimi?" he replied. He looked hypnotized by her presence. "What are you-"

"Roger," Mimi avoided his gaze. She suddenly blurted what was on her mind. "I was wondering if you would do my something for me. Would you sing at my wedding?"

They looked at each other for a long moment. There was a mixture of emotions. I could read them all. Roger was angry, but seemed as if he would break into tears at any moment. He also had an expression of love all over his face.

"You're getting married?" he asked gruffly.

"Uh," she stuttered. "Yes, I am engaged."

"Oh," he whispered. "Congratulations."

"Um thanks. So would you be willing to sing at my wedding?"

"No."

Mimi stood there, staring at Roger, who slowly turned on his heel and walked back to his bedroom. The same room he once shared with Mimi. He didn't even look back. Not once. Mimi looked after him for a while and then turned back to me, putting on a fake smile.

"Someone is a little bitter," she joked.

"You think?" I snapped.

"Well I am sorry," her voice was barely audible. "I need to move on. I really am sorry, though."

"No," I said. I was so mad at her. "Don't be sorry for him. He has all of us to take care of him. He will be fine. It is you that I feel bad for." I stood up and walked to the kitchen, leaving her by the couch. She cleared her throat. The mood was so uncomfortable. "Um Meems, have fun at your wedding. I am really happy for you. But I don't think we will be able to make it."

"I understand," she said, looking at the ground. I knew she wanted to cry. I had disappointed her beyond belief, like she had done to all of us. She glanced back at me once more and then turned to leave with a quiet, "Goodbye Maureen."

After she was gone, I went and knocked on Roger's door. He didn't open it, so I slowly pushed it open. He was sitting on the bed with his guitar in his lap and his head hanging down.

"Roger?"

"She is getting married."

"I know," I sighed, sitting next to him. I placed a hand on his knee and rested my head on his shoulder.

"This is my fault," he sighed. "I drove her away. I drove her right into the arms of another man."

"No. No, she left on her own terms."

"I cannot believe she asked me to play at her wedding."

Neither could I! How dare she come here and not even let Roger know she is engaged, but instead right away asks him to sing at her wedding. The same wedding that she could have been sharing with him! I felt so bad for my friend having to watch the love of his life marry someone else, and to top it all off, come here and rub it in his face!

"Don't think about it," I soothed. "She is not worth it. It was a bitchy move. She just wants to get at you and it is working. Don't think about her. Don't let it get to you."

"I cannot help it Mo," he whispered. I wrapped my arms around him and just held him there for a little. He gingerly placed his hand on the small of my back and embraced my hug. I smiled up at my broken friend, who looked down at me knowingly. He knew I was only trying to help and he knew that he had friends surrounding him everywhere.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 2, 1991 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was lying on the front porch, drinking a beer, and smoking a cigarette. I promised myself I would quit, but screw it! How stupid was I to think they would come to my wedding? They hated me. I didn't care, though. I had moved on?

"_Dammit Mimi!" _said the annoying voice in my head. _"How many times are you going to try to convince yourself you have moved on?"_

"I have moved on!" I said in a harsh tone.

"Moved where?" Michael asked, coming out of the house and sitting next to me. "Where have you been all day?"

"Oh," I laughed, kissing him. "I went out for a little. I stopped by and said hi to my old roommates. You know, invited them to the wedding. I actually asked Roger to-"

"Roger?" he exploded, throwing himself off the chair. He stood in front of me with his hands crossed across his chest. "Your x-boyfriend Roger?"

"Um yes. Why?"

"Fuck Mimi!" he yelled, running his hands threw his hair. "Why? Why are you going back there? He made you come here remember. Do you remember how much pain he caused you?"

"Calm down baby, I-"

"STOP! I am serious! I don't want you seeing them anymore!"

"Michael! I am not a child. You cannot tell me who I can and cannot see!"

"YES I CAN MIMI! NOT WHEN I-"

"_You_ are the one causing _me _a lot of pain at the moment!" I stood up, but Michael shoved me back down. A little harder than he intended, I hope. I hit the chair and it slid back with the weight from my body. I gasped up at him.

"Mimi I do not want you seeing them. Look at this ring!" he grabbed my wrist and brought it up to my face. He was hurting me and he didn't even notice. "This is a commitment! Do _not_ see them anymore. I am serious!"

"Why can't I?" I asked. "They are my friends."

"Well," Michael began to stutter. I felt bad for my fiancé. "I just don't want old feelings to flood back Mimi. Just please stay near me."

"Nothing is going to happen," I said, scooting up on my seat to get closer to him.

"Mimi," he replied, with his eyes closed. "Just promise me?"

I waited to see what he would ask me to promise him. He looked to me for my answer. Did he want me to promise to always stand by him or to never see them again? Whatever, I would stay by him. And if it made him happy, I wouldn't visit my friends anymore. Maybe this was only for the better.

"I promise."

"Mimi, I promise I will give you your dream wedding. Anything you want!" His face lit up with joy and he pulled me up off the chair. "If you keep your promise, I will keep mine."

"A cake," I whispered.

"What?"

"A cake! I want a big white cake with an endless amount of layers. And pink roses on it."

"Done," he whispered back.

He picked me up and kissed me long and hard on our porch in the afternoon chill of December.

o o o o o

(Narrator's POV)

_December 2, 1991 3:45 p.m. eastern standard time_

Rufus was pacing back and forth. Papa Roo was on a big black laptop while Rufus' brother Michael was watching football on an old TV set on the wall. The clacking from the keyboard was droning out the screaming fans on the television and Michael began getting impatient.

"How much longer Roo?" he snapped. "I need to get home."

"Where did we relocate Angelo again?" Roo asked, ignoring Michael.

"Lower East Village," Rufus said. "I want to know everything about him. You need to find it for me and-"

Roo held up a hand and silenced Rufus. "Okay, so when we placed Angelo in there, he used the money to buy an apartment in the area. It says that he roomed with someone, but then it seems like he just disappeared from the face of the earth. It shows that-"

"Wait," Rufus said slowly. "Angel. Look under the name Angel. He said something about being known as Angel in the Village. Yes, he said something else, I just cannot remember." Rufus paused for a moment and then leaned against the wall. "Shit, what was it?"

"Okay Rufus," Roo said. "I think I have enough to crack this." Roo looked closer at the computer and began to type away. "What year did we put Angel in the Village?"

"Aw shit," Michael said, sitting up. "Around 1986, 1987?"

"In 1988, there was a small clothing line called Angel's Gifts that sold only a few designs. They were made of all stuff off the street and were very cheap. Um……and the headquarters were in the same apartment that Angelo bought with our money."

"What respectable man would start a clothing company," Michael roared. "That is hilarious and impossible."

"Well," Roo laughed. "_Angel _was a drag queen."

"DRAG QUEEN!" Rufus yelled. "That was what he said. That is what he was talking about in the alley."

"Angelo is a drag queen?" exclaimed Michael, standing up, and glancing at the computer screen.

"_Angel _is a drag queen," corrected Roo. "And if you all give me a moment, I can figure out more about our little friend." Michael slowly retreated back to the couch and Rufus continued to pace. After a good five minutes, Roo exclaimed, "GOT IT!"

Rufus rushed back to the computer, eagerly awaiting the results. Michael stayed planted, muttering something about how he had to get going soon. Roo cleared his throat and scrolled to what he was reading.

"So," he began. "Apparently little Angelo was a perfect little Angel. He moved in and got a job. He only used the money we gave him for the first 3 months. Then, he paid his own way. After 6 months, he got a roommate, who worked at the Cat Scratch Club. They were not intimate or sexually active, because he is gay, which explains why Rufus and he were so tight. Anyways, he started his little clothing business and then met a man named Thomas Collins, who works at NYU. He was denied from numerous colleges, for his theories of fighting AIDS. Apparently they were living together when he came back here."

"Did he kill any of our targets?" Michael asked, already knowing the answer.

"What do you think?" Roo snapped. "He met with our targets, tipped them off about their fate, and told them to leave town and get a new identity. Most of them we thought were dead are actually still out there and we will probably never find them, because of _him_."

"Or should we call him _her_," Michael teased.

"What are we going to do?" Rufus asked, furious that his love would betray him.

"Kill him of course," Roo said, shutting off the computer. Roo was such a genius when it came to that kind of stuff and left many baffled on how he could possibly get all of the information he did off the old, slow machine.

"No," Michael said. "We will not kill him, yet. We will play with him a little. Maybe use him to our advantage. We will harm the ones closest to him, until he confesses or reforms back to us. Then we will kill him."

"You work in twisted ways," Roo grinned. "Twisted ways."

* * *

Read & Review if you want more very soon! 

and wish me luck in sweet charity


	27. Set Her Free

Sorry about the wait! Here it is

* * *

**Set Her Free**

(Angel's POV)

_December 2, 1991 3:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was so afraid on how my Tom would react to seeing me. I couldn't even remember how long I had been gone. It felt like only a week, but at the same time, it felt like it had been forever. I slowly walked up to the front door and pushed it open and tip-toed down the hall and into the bedroom. I felt like a stranger in my own home and hated that feeling.

The door was slightly ajar and after I entered the room, I saw Collins lying on the bed, sound asleep. Smiling at his snoring figure, I slipped inside silently, dropping my bags on the ground. He let out a small grunt as I crawled onto the bed and sat down next to him.

"Thomas," I whispered in his ear. He raised his hand and swatted the air next to his head.

"Angel," he mumbled. He rolled over and wrapped his arms around me. I watched his muscles tighten as he pulled me close to him. He opened one eye up slowly and grinned. "Hey baby." Then he closed his eyes. I let out a small giggle, which made that same eye pop open. "ANGEL?"

I jumped up and down, expressing my excitement. He jumped on me and began kissing me. I don't even think he knew what was going on. I barely did. All I knew is that I was back in his arms, which I now knew, is where I belonged.

"Where were you," he whispered. "What happened Ang?"

"I really don't want to talk about it right now," I said, standing up and walking over to the kitchen. He jumped out of bed and followed me.

"You have to tell me at least where you were and why you never called!"

"Why are you still in bed? Do you not have work today? I am actually really hungry, do you want-"

"Angel!" Tom exclaimed, grabbing my arm. "Tell me what happened?"

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I hated keeping things from him, but I was afraid to tell him the happenings of the past half a year.

"Tom," I said defiantly. "I need to keep this to myself for now. I don't want to talk about it. I am sorry. I will tell you that there is nothing to worry about, though. And if you trust me, you will know that all in good time, I will tell you everything."

Collins looked around the room angrily. I thought he was going to walk away, but instead he came forward and embraced me. He held me there for a long time, while I buried my head in his chest.

He inhaled deeply and then whispered, "I understand."

o o o o o

_December 2, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

(Erika's POV)

"She's home?" I exclaimed into the phone. "SHE'S HOME?"

Collins was on the other end, telling me how Angel had shown up on the doorstep this afternoon.

"She is sleeping now," Collins said. "But maybe if she wakes up later we will stop by."

"Great! Oh wait! Guess who showed up at _our_ doorstep this afternoon?"

"Who?" Collins asked.

"Mimi."

"What? Shit! How is she? Is she still there?"

"No," I laughed. "I actually never saw her. She just spoke to Maureen and Roger. Mark and I were at work. She left, but Roger and Maureen seem pretty pissed about her visit."

"Why? I am surprised Roger and her aren't back together by now."

"It is a little hard to think about that when she is engaged."

"WHAT?"

"Yes," I sighed. "She is marrying some high school sweetheart."

"Aw man," he gasped. "How is the pretty boy?"

"Not doing too good I think. Maureen and him are both giving everyone and everything death stares. I-"

"Listen that sucks," Collins said quickly. "But I gotta run. I want you to fill me in about this later. Maybe we will stop by, like I said."

"Talk to you later!"

The phone clicked and I hung up on our end. I turned around to find Maureen walking into the room. She was wearing one of the boys' old sweatshirts and she had a bowl of cereal in her hand. I smiled at her, but she only frowned back.

"Do you think maybe we should all go to the Life tonight?" I felt weird making the suggestions. Usually, I just went along with everyone else.

"No," Maureen said through a mouthful of Cap'n Crunch. "I just want to stay home and I know Roger is too pissed to function."

"Mark went out to get some food," I pointed out. "Maybe when he gets back he can cheer Rog up."

"Hopefully."

I sat next to Maureen and flipped on the crappy television set. The news was on, but I wasn't really watching it. I couldn't lose that nagging feeling that was telling me to go see Roger. I wanted to be the one to cheer him up. I stood up and walked slowly to his room. It was slightly open, so I stuck my head in. Roger was sitting on the bed, with his guitar resting on his chest. I thought he would yell at me and tell me to get out. Ever since _the incident,_ it has been awkward to have the two of us alone in a room. But I knew that this was strictly one friend helping the other. I hoped he knew that too.

"Come to try to cheer up the grumpy, emo, asshole?" he asked sarcastically, not looking up from the strings of his beloved fender.

"No," I said, stepping in. "Are you alright." Shit, that was a stupid question.

"What do you think?" he snapped.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I never know what to say anymore. No shit you are at your lowest point I know that. Now, what can I do to help?"

"Nothing," Roger mumbled. "There is nothing anyone can do. She is getting married and once they become man and wife, I pretty much have nothing to live for."

"Then fight it," I cried on impulse. He looked up at me. His eyes were bloodshot, which made me question if he was sober. I sat on the edge of the bed near his feet and continued. "What I mean is that you know you love her. You also know she loves you and-"

"Loved," Roger corrected.

"Either way," I continued. "Love never dies. You need to get her back. You two are meant for each other. Everyone can see that. Why don't you-"

"SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME," he screamed. He tore out of the bed, causing me to stumble on the edge of the mattress. "WE ARE OVER! SHE IS MARRYING SOME OTHER GUY!"

Roger ran to the window and hit the pane. Then he kicked the old bookshelf, knocking over a few items. He picked up his shoes and slammed them on the ground. I was so afraid, but I was trying to be brave and act un-phased by it, like everyone else in the loft did. I wanted to be reliable and there for him. Not afraid of him.

He kicked the wall a few more times, putting dents in it and then he turned to me. He had tears in his eyes. I felt so bad for him, because I knew he loved her more than life itself. It scared me and I prayed he wouldn't do anything drastic.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. He sat back down on the bed and buried his head in his hands. "You just don't know how I am feeling? Imagine if Mark married someone else. I already lost her once; I don't want to lose her again! But it is too late! Don't you see?"

"I don't think it is too late," I sighed. "I just think-"

"It is fine Erika. It isn't your fault. Don't even worry about it. It is my loss and well, whatever……" Roger trailed off and stared off into space. His long blonde hair hung in his face and his cheeks were red with fury. We were back to back on the bed. Turning around, I crawled up behind him. I hugged him and rested my head on his shoulder. He reached up and squeezed my hand weakly.

"It will work out," I said softly. "Just keep your chin up kid."

"Hey kid," he grinned for the first time in a while. "I am 6 foot. I can't help it, I am always looking down."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 5, 1991 12:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"So you set that date?"

I was standing in the kitchen, standing over Mike, who was reading a whole bunch of paperwork. He raised his hand and shooed me away. I pouted and put my butt on the edge of the wooden table. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. Again, he just pushed me away.

"Did you set that date?" I repeated, firmer this time. He looked up at me and nodded. Then, he turned back to his work. "Are you going to tell me when?"

"Christmas," he mumbled.

"Christmas?" I exclaimed. "That is so soon!"

"We got in at the Trump Plaza and that was the only date," he grunted.

"There is no other date?" I asked slowly.

"Mimi," he yelled, slamming his hand on the table. "Stop nagging me about this damn wedding. I got you the place and a date! Just say thank you!"

"Fine," I mumbled. I walked up to my room and put on a pair of boots and grabbed my coat. Then I stomped back down to the kitchen, stopping at our coat rack and grabbing his black jacket. I tossed it to him. "Come on!"

"What?" he moaned.

"The wedding is in 20 days. We need to get this done. Your planning sucks, to be frank. We are getting invitations today and mailing them tomorrow. Come on!"

Mike stood up obediently and followed me to the door. I smiled on the inside, because I loved being in control. I climbed into his car and he slammed the door shut for me. I flipped the radio on and waited for my fiancé to start up the car. Oh that was a fun word to use. It felt so weird on my tongue.

"What store do you want to go to?" Mike asked

"Try that little court with all the stores over by the mall," I directed. "There are a bunch of cute bridal stores in there."

He made a left-hand turn a few blocks away from the house and pulled into the shopping center. The two of us walked hand in hand up to the door, when a voice caught my attention. I released Michael's hand and he continued towards the store.

I turned around and almost screamed. There she was, a few feet away, calling my name. I ran to her and threw my arms around her neck.

"ANGEL!" I screamed. "I have missed you!"

"Oh chica!" Angel squealed. "I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure. I have missed you too!"

"What are you doing here?"

"I grew up a few blocks away from here. I was just getting a few things from my house."

"You are back at the loft?" I asked slowly. I was hoping I wouldn't be the only one gone for good.

"You know me! I can never stay away for too long."

"Oh we need to catch up. Where were you and why didn't you call?"

"Mimi, it is a long story. Do you want to grab a bite to eat and I can tell you? I just stopped by here to get some potato chips for Tommy."

"I wish I could," I sighed. "But I dragged Mike out of the house before and forced him to come buy the invitations with me."

"What invitations?"

I looked at her shocked face. She didn't know? Oh crap. I placed a hand on her shoulder. "I am getting married," I said, trying to sound as excited as possible. "Isn't that exciting?"

"You are getting married to someone, who isn't Roger?" Angel asked slowly.

"Um yes……" I whispered. "Roger and I are over, you know that."

"Um, I didn't think it was permanent," she mumbled under her breath. Then she added in an upbeat tone, "But anyways, that is really cool! I am happy for you. Who is the lucky guy and when is the wedding?"

"Christmas," I replied. Angel's face dropped. I knew what she was thinking, but I prayed she wouldn't say it.

"But that is yours and Roger's day," Angel sighed. "It always has been and always will-"

"No!" I interrupted, trying to prevent her from saying it, but it was too late. She had said _always_. Me and Roger were _always _at one point, but not anymore. "We aren't going to be that anymore."

"Okay," Angel sighed.

"Are you going to still come?"

"To your wedding," Angel asked, snapping back to attention. "Of course Mimi-chica. I would not miss it for the world."

"You are the only one," I cried. "Maureen said they would all be busy."

"I will try to get them to come," Angel reassured me. "You know they love you. Just don't be surprised if Roger doesn't show up."

"I won't be. I did ask him to sing at my wedding, though." Angel stared at me, shocked. I knew she thought it was a stupid idea. I even did looking back upon it now. How would I feel if Roger asked me that? I felt horrible.

"I am not even going to respond to that," she said. "So, who is the lucky guy?"

"MIMI!" screamed a voice from behind me. I turned around and saw Mike waving his hands for me to come to him. "LET'S GO!"

"Oh," I laughed. "COMING! Um, Angel I gotta run, but we need to catch up soon. I will call you hun." I grazed her cheek with mine and then ran off to Mike. I had a horrible sinking feeling that I would not call her and we would not catch up.

"Is that him?" she asked, just loud enough so I could hear.

"Yep," I said over my shoulder. "That's him!"

Angel looked at me. Her face had paled and she looked scared. I ignored my best friend and ran to my fiancé's side.

Angel spoke up before I was completely out of sight. "Oh shit!"

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_December 8, 1991 9:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"December 8, 9 p.m. eastern standard time," I narrated. "And our first day back at the Life is here. We have not been there in………how many days Erika?"

"Can you put that thing down?" she asked. She was brushing her hair from the bathroom. "We are not going to wait around for you, so I suggest you get ready."

"Let's just say it has been a long time," I continued, ignoring her. "Roger is in his room, getting dressed, I suppose. Are you excited Rog?"

"For what?" replied Roger in monotone.

"Going to the Life! We haven't been there in a long, long time since we were _all_ there together."

"I am there everyday for the band," Roger reminded me.

"We said we would meet them there at 9:10," Erika snapped. She looked really good for going to a crappy café. She had on her dark jeans that fell straight down her skinny legs and stopped neatly above the heel of her boot. She was wearing a tight winter white sweater over that. I smiled at her as she put on her earrings. She grinned back and grabbed her black coat off the chair. "I am leaving now boys. So let's go!"

The three of us walked down the cold streets, avoiding speeding cars and drunken homeless people.

"So how is the band?" Erika asked Roger.

"Eh," he mumbled. "Fine. Whatever, it brings in some cash."

"Did you finish that song yet?" I teased.

"What do you think?" he snapped. Then he sighed. "I gave up on it."

By now, we were in front of the Life, but Erika and I stopped in our tracks. "WHAT?" I shouted. "Roger you didn't!"

"I did."

"Roger, for as long as I have known you, I learned a lot. I know learned you can be a total prick and that you get scared easily and give up on a lot. But from what I learned, I also know, that you never, ever quit at something you started and set your heart on. You always manage to accomplish your songs. Always, Roger."

"This time I just can't," Roger whispered, so only I could hear. "And you know why."

I watched as he tore into the restaurant, leaving Erika and I standing on the sidewalk. She squeezed my hand and shrugged her shoulders. "You tried babe." And then she followed the rocker. I sighed, turned on my camera, and then entered the warmth of the building. Maureen, Joanne, Collins, and Angel were already seated, making room for the three of us.

"HEY!" they all said. I sat down next to Erika and Collins. Roger took a seat across from us between Maureen and Angel.

"It feels good," Collins stated. "Ya know, to have all of us back."

I agreed, even though all of us weren't here. I looked to Roger to read his reaction. He was staring down at the sticky linoleum tabletops. I felt for my friend, who lost almost everything and had no control over it.

"Almost all of us," Angel whispered. "I saw her today."

Roger perked up and looked at Angel. She gave him a weak smile and placed her hand on his. The whole group got awkwardly silent.

"I saw her a few weeks ago," Maureen spoke up, clearing her throat slowly. "She invited us to the wedding."

"I cannot believe you all didn't tell me she was engaged!" Angel cried. "When I saw her, I was taken by shock, because I had no idea."

"It doesn't matter anymore," Maureen growled. "She cut her ties from us. We are not _with_ her anymore. We-"

"Maureen." Angel said harshly. "We are family! I don't know about all of you, but I am going to the wedding, because that is my best friend up there getting married. She needs us now more than ever. And you know that!"

Everyone went silent again.

"Did you see him?" Roger asked, referring to Mimi's future husband. Oh that sounds so weird! I was sure that her future husband would be Roger. We all looked to Angel for an answer.

"Yes," she cried, bursting into tears.

"Who is he?" asked a bewildered Collins. "Stop crying, stop. Shhhh. Now what is wrong? Who is he?"

"I cannot…………I mean I shouldn't……………I know I said I would support her……but…………but…………well………… Guys, we just need to stop this wedding!"

o o o o o

(Roger's POV)

_December 10, 1991 9:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

"You all right mate?" Jerry, a waiter at the Life asked. I was lying on the table, face down, waiting for practice to start.

"I'm fine."

I wasn't okay, though. I was exhausted. The events from the last few days kept playing over and over again in my mind. First, Mimi shows up and then Angel is home. We never really gave her a proper welcome-back. She just sort of came and acted as if she had never left. That was so like Angel, though. But then last night! No one understood why she acted that way. One moment she was all for the wedding and then the next she was bawling her eyes out.

"Rog?" called Jase Terken, one of my band buddies. "Did you work on any new songs lately?"

I wanted to say yes. I had promised I would have a new song by this week. It was so hard to write when she wasn't around though. I hated admitting it, but it was true. I shook my head and Jase frowned.

"I am sorry man, but-"

"Listen," he said with his deep accent. "We know that you fell hard for the broad and now she is gone. We feel for you, but you have to come back to us and continue living. If you want to revolve your life around her, you might as well not be living."

"You don't understand, I need her…………" I said this very slowly, almost embarrassed on my reasoning.

"Then go get her mate!"

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_December 10, 1991 9:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

I was lying in bed on a lazy Sunday morning. My blanket was bunched up around me and I was in that state, where you know you are awake, but you are still in dream land. There wasn't a lot of noise outside, which relaxed me. The sky was gray and I could see the dusty, old buildings smoking through my open window. I wasn't sure why I insisted on keeping my window open in winter, but I liked it.

"Alright," I said out loud, yawning. "Five more minutes, and then I will wake up."

I closed my eyes and suddenly my door flew open and someone came running through the apartment. They ran to my bed and jumped on the edge of it, calling my name.

I screamed and sat up, only causing the man on the end of my bed to yell in surprise.

"Shit Roger!" I yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Erika, wake up! I have an idea and I need to tell you!"

"Can it wait? I am a little busy!"

He responded by grabbing my arm and lifting me out of the bed with ease. I hitched up my dragging sweatpants, trying to regain connection between my feet and the floor, and stumbled after him. He was still holding my arm as he led me onto the fire escape. Small goose bumps rose up at the newly exposed air.

"I am going to go!" he exclaimed. He was smiling, which was a first.

"Where?"

"The wedding," he exclaimed. "I am going to go and get her back. My band buddy convinced me. I-"

"Roger," I whispered. "Are you sure you want to do this."

"I just need to tell her I am sorry for everything and that I still love her," Roger protested. He had told her that line a million times. I knew attending the festivity would not accomplish anything. I leaned against the railing and looked up at the sky, which threatened to rain. "Do you know when it is?"

"Christmas."

His face paled and he cleared his throat. "Christmas? Uh, that is our day. How…how..."

"Oh Roger," I sighed. "Maybe you should just stay home. I don't want to discourage you, but you are better off here. And-"

"I just need to go and see her. I need to finish this song and I cannot until I see her face one more time before she becomes a married woman."

"I understand, but why are you telling me?"

"You were the one who told me to fight it! You told me true love never dies!"

"I know I said that," I started slowly. "But maybe I was speaking on impulse. You know how that happens. What I meant to say was-"

"Erika! You told me to keep believing and that is what I am doing! I realized that Angel is right. We all need to go. She was ours before she left and we need to support her. So we all need to go."

"I don't know if everyone will-"

"Please Erika! If you go, Mark will go, and he can convince Maureen! Just please, I need to do this."

"Fine. We can all talk about it later. Now I am going back to bed."

"I will just stay out here for a little," he said. As I walked inside and closed the large window that led to the fire escape, I heard him say her name softly. Then he recited, "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you it is yours. If it does not, it never was."

* * *

Did anyone else get a rain day? In New Jersey the governor called a National State of Emergency and no one is allowed to leave their house.

Read & Review if you want more!


	28. Are You In?

Hi everyone! I have just been procrastinating lately. I have been focusing on the Championships for Hurdling in Track and schoolwork and everything else and I sort of forgot how long it was since my last update. But, this is a good chapter, so you won't be disappointed. And for anyone who is confused, this should clear up a lot.

_Disclaimer: Is my name Jonathon Larson? Didn't think so._

* * *

**Are You In?**

(Mimi's POV)

_December 15, 1991 5:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Ten days," I squealed. "Are you excited?"

"Did you get the list ready?" he asked. "I need to know who is coming."

"Well you have your own list of people to invite and I………I don't have anyone to invite."

"No one?" he asked.

Who could I invite? I haven't talked to my old friends in years. And everyone from the loft hates me. I had no desire to invite my parents and my sister never even bothered contacting me, so why should I invite her.

"I do not want to invite my family," I sighed. "And I haven't talked to my old friends in forever."

"I already invited your family."

"Mike, are you kidding me? After what they did?"

"Baby, calm down. Now can you think of anyone you would want to invite?"

"Well yes, but I don't think they would come."

"Invite them anyway. Maybe they will show up."

I thought for a moment. He made me promise to never see my friends again. I was almost positive that meant they could not come to the wedding. I sighed. I really wanted them to come. Angel said she would, but she would probably be the only one who showed up. I decided to just invite them and not say anything to Michael for now.

"Alright."

I sat next to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He was so sweaty and I wasn't sure why. I tried to read the paperwork in front of him, but the writing was too small. His hair looked like a crazy black forest. I pressed my nose against him.

"Are we going to be together forever?" I whispered. I smiled down at him, bringing my face in front of him, causing my hair to cascade all around us.

"Uh," he replied in a preoccupied tone, not looking at me. "What do you mean?"

"I mean are we going to be together forever!"

"Um…sure." He still didn't look at me. He probably didn't hear me either. He flipped through the papers and searched for a pen. "Whatever you want babe."

Releasing my grip on his neck, I shuffled to the other side of the table to face him. "Do you even want this wedding?"

"Yes," he said. I was getting so pissed off that he still wasn't looking at me. Instead, he was glancing around the table nervously, looking for his pen. It was lying on the ground, but I kicked it farther across the room and out of reach. "You want it and I want what you want."

"No, but do _you_ really, really, _really_ want this?" I persisted.

"Hmmmm it doesn't really matter me. Hey, have you seen my pen? I have no idea where it is."

"LOOK AT ME!" I screamed. He glanced up at me, shocked at my outburst. I was so pissed off that he was ignoring me that I didn't even want to look at him now. I slammed my hand down on the table and stormed away, up the stairs.

Once in my bedroom, I was surprised to find that he didn't come after me. He actually stayed there and continued to work. It was not the reaction I expected or the reaction I was used to.

o o o o o

(Collins' POV)

_December 15, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

The wind was picking up rapidly as I ran up the front steps of our apartment building. Mark has asked the two of us to go down to their place tonight, but I doubted it was possible with all the wind picking up. I sighed and pulled open the front door, fighting the pressure of the cold gust of air.

Once inside, I un-wrapped my scarf and took the stairs two at a time up to our apartment door. Kicking it open, a deep scent of buttered corn filled my nose.

"Angel?" I called. I made my way into the kitchen, where Angel was standing in front of the stove, cooking. "Ang, it smells great! What is the occasion?"

She turned around and kissed me on the cheek. "I just felt like cooking. Now wash your hands and sit down, it is almost ready."

That was my girl, professional dog killer, kick-ass dancer, crazy drummer, and excellent chef! I ran my hands under cold water and patted them on a towel smudged with mascara before returning to the kitchen to eat.

"How does it look?" Without waiting for a response, she continued speaking. "Hurry up and eat! I want to see your reaction!"

I took a bite of the warm meal. It was amazing. My eyes widened and I nodded in approval while swallowing. "It is delicious!"

"Oh good!" she squealed, clapping her hands, and going to get her own plate. "I am so happy."

"So what did you do today besides cook?"

"I sewed some of my skirts. I had no idea how many tears and rips I had in them."

I really wanted to ask her what had been on my mind ever since she got home. Part of me said to keep my big mouth shut, but I knew once I opened my mouth, there was no turning back. And I needed to ask her soon.

"Angel," I started slowly. "When you first got back, you told me you would tell why you had to leave. And then a few days ago you burst into tears over something. Is there anything I should know?"

"Yes," she sighed immediately. "I really do not want to but I have to." She put her fork down and rested her chin in her hands, sighing. "Do you want to hear everything?"

"Everything."

She told me about her childhood and how her brother got into gang activity. Then she told me about her first male lover, who gave her HIV. She continued, revealing that her brother was killed and his former gang forced her to be a part of it. I learned of how she was told to come here as a hit man, but instead met Mimi and lived her own life.

"And then they came back for you?"

"Yes," Angel sighed. "I knew it would happen eventually, but I hoped it would never come to that. They came and wanted to know about all the people I killed and any information I receive against Los Caballos, the enemy gang. I finally revealed I had nothing and left."

"Were they angry?"

"Very, but there was nothing they could do about it. Anyway, Rufus' brother, Michael was one of the leaders of the group and he decided to get engaged and settle down, so-"

The telephone rang, cutting our conversation short. I stood up to get it, only to find it was a telemarketer. I slammed the phone shut and returned to Angel.

"Continue."

"As long as you think you are ready for this next part."

"I am."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 20, 1991 10:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I woke up to the sound of a car beeping its horn. The time said it was 10, so I figured it was a good time to wake up. Mike was not in the bed anymore, leaving a warm imprint from where he was lying. The phone suddenly rang, causing me to jump. I leaned over to pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hi," replied a deep voice on the other end. "Is Miriam Marquez there?"

"Speaking."

"Thank the lord! Mimi, it is me, Angel!" The voice changed to the girl I was used to and loved.

"Hey An-"

"Quiet," she cried. "You need to listen to me very carefully. Is there a phone booth near your house?"

"Yes, down the street."

"Go to it and call me back and try to make sure no one sees you."

"Why? Hello? Angel? Hello?"

The other end was silent. I quickly bounded down the stairs and tip toed past the living room. The sun was shining, but it was still chilly out. I ran across the cold, rough pavement to the phone booth on the corner. Picking it up, I let the quarter on the string fall into the slot. That trick coin had been there ever since I was a child and the residents have yet to remove it. The dial tone sounded and I dialed Angel's phone number through memory.

"Hello?" she cried almost immediately.

"What is going on?"

"Okay, you know that man you were with. You cannot marry him!"

"Mike? Why not? Oh before I forget, the wedding rehearsal is the 23rd, because we could not get a restaurant to take us on Christmas Eve. I really hope you come."

"Listen to me! I could be wrong, but chica you have to hear me out. Please, get out of there as fast as you can."

"Angel I am not just going to leave," I protested. The cold cement stung my feet, causing me to place one on top of the other to warm them. I must have looked so strange standing out here. "I love-"

"No you don't," she cried. "Mimi, please just answer me one question and then I can confirm everything. What is his last name?"

"Mike's? It is L-"

The phone clicked. I looked down and saw a man's finger on the receiver. Looking up, I came face to face with Mike's angry face.

"What are you doing," he asked through clenched teeth.

"Hi baby." How was I going to explain this one? I had no reason to be using a payphone when we had our own telephone in the house. "Our phone was making this weird cracking noise and I couldn't hear."

"Who was that?"

"Um my friend. She is so sweet. I was thinking of inviting her to the wedding." He raised an eyebrow at me before pulling me towards him as we walked back to the house.

"Then invite her."

And just like that, I was madly in love with Mike, all over again. Why was he so perfect? He kissed my forehead and picked me up, carrying me to the front door.

"Go put her name on the list boo!"

I obeyed and walked over to the clipboard on the refrigerator. Neatly, I wrote out Angel Dumott Schunard. I couldn't help but smile at her name. After capping the pen, I kissed Mike, and then skipped up the stairs as he went to observe the list.

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_December 20, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

The smell of eggs was wafting through the loft as Joanne and I walked in. The late brunch was placed on the metal table. Erika was rushing around the room, trying to set get all the food out. It was cute how she was taking the role of loft mother, giving the boys probably their first home cooked meal in about a decade.

"Hi guys! Come on in!" she cried. "The boys just went to go get some napkins. Can you believe that there are none here?"

"No," I blurted.

"What is all this?" asked Joanne interrupted.

"I woke up this morning and it hit me! I am going to be living here for a long time. A long, long time probably. And if Mark and I get even more serious, then it might be for the rest of my life, because I know he is never going to leave this piece of crap. So I woke up and said to myself that if I was going to be stuck here, then I had to make the best of it! So I am making this place to my liking."

"I can respect that," smiled Joanne. "Now can we eat?"

"When the boys get back! And Angel and Collins are going to stop by too!"

"They better hurry," I said under my breath. As Erika continued to run around the kitchen, Joanne went out onto the fire escape. I followed her and we both stared out at the city, breathing the air deeply.

"You should go inside. It is cold," Joanne mumbled.

"Can you try to stop treating me like I am some walking disease?"

"But Maureen, you are."

There was a long awkward silence. What could I say? I was so angry at her. She refused to treat me the same. She wanted nothing to do with me.

"Baby," I whispered. "Can you look at me? Now listen. I know I screwed up. I know I suck and you hate me. But I still love you! I want what is best for you, though. If you want nothing to do with me, get up and leave. If not, then tell me what we can do to work on this!"

"I want to leave Maureen. I _really want_ to leave. But I can't! I look at you and I realize that it was just one big mistake. You are the biggest screw-up ever! I know you are, but I know that you don't mean to do it!"

"And I don't! I really don't mean to be an idiot. But I want what is best for you."

"Wow," Joanne flashed a sad smile. "I have never heard you say that." A long silence suffocated the air, as I waited for her to continue. "Maureen, I love you, but I cannot continue to be your girlfriend, because I cannot put myself at this risk." I knew what risk she was speaking of. "But I will not leave, because this is my family too."

"Baby, I-"

"I can't go on being your lover. We can look back and say the disease tore us apart, just so we can blame the break-up on something other than our own fucked up selves. But I want you to know that I will never stop loving you."

"So this is it?" I began to cry.

Rushing forward, she threw her arms around me and held me tight. I covered my mouth to stop the crying, but it was useless. "Maureen, I am always going to be right here, always next to you and always supporting you. I love you, but we both know that we can no longer be an item, because you have AIDS baby."

"Uh!" I sobbed. "I _despise _that word!"

"I know you do. Shhh, I am here."

"Please don't go."

"I am right here Mo."

We stood like that for a long time. It hurt to know that we could never hold each other the same way ever again. But if it was best for Joanne, it was best for me.

"They're here," she whispered. Sure enough, coming up the street was Roger and Mark. They energetically waved up at us and we returned the gesture. "We should go in now."

Erika, Angel, and Collins were all sitting around the food laughing at something Collins had just said. Angel looked less peppy than usual, however.

"Hi everyone!" Jo and I cried simultaneously. The front door slid open and the boys came in, making the Bohemian group complete.

"Let's eat!" Roger spoke up. We all took a plate and sat down on the mismatched chairs placed everywhere around the dusty metal surface. I could still see Angel in my peripheral vision. She was sighing heavily and poking at her food.

"What is wrong?" I nudged her with my elbow, snapping her out of the trance.

"I have something to say, but I don't know where to start," she said out loud, almost as if my nudge was a cue for her to speak. "I spoke to Mimi the other day. She invited me to the wedding. The rehearsal is on the 23rd. We are all going to go, but we are on a mission."

"Are we still hung up on ruining this engagement?" Erika cried. Collins and Angel exchanged glances and nodded.

"We need to break them apart. Not for our own good, but for Mimi's," interjected Collins. "You see, well I-"

"We don't need details," Mark cried. "Just tell us what we need to do!"

I loved my damn family! We were always so alert and ready to help even if we didn't know what was going on.

"We are all going to show up at the rehearsal. The dinner afterwards that is. Then, I will go and talk to Mimi. After that, I think our best move is to let Roger talk to her."

"Me?" exclaimed Roger.

"No, the _other _Roger. Yes you!" Roger shot Mark a look for that last comment.

"I don't know what to say to her," complained the rocker. "I haven't seen her in forever and-"

"When the time comes, you will know," Erika responded softly.

"So are we all up for this?" Angel asked hopefully. She stood up, raising her hand in the air.

Collins shot up, followed by Joanne, which surprised me. Erika and Mark looked at each other, before standing up. I slowly got up, leaving Roger as the only one sitting.

"This is never going to work!" he complained.

"Roger," Angel smiled knowingly. "If you love something set it free. If it comes back to you, it is yours and-"

"And if it doesn't, it never was," he completed in an agitated tone.

"This is putting that quote to the test. So are you in?" Angel grinned, raising her hand higher in the air, encouraging him to do the same.

"Pretty boy! Pretty boy!" Collins chanted, clapping slowly. Soon everyone was chanting and clapping, "Pretty boy! Pretty boy! Pretty boy! Pretty boy! Pretty boy! Pretty boy! Pretty boy!"

"FINE!" he cried, rolling his eyes, and throwing himself out of the brown, dented folding chair. "I am in."

o o o o o

(Narrator's POV)

_December 21, 1991 9:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Michael Longere emerged from the shadows of the alley, cigarette dangling from his chapped lips. He took the stub out only for a moment to spit on the ground. After looking up and down the street a few times, to make sure it was safe, he leaned his back to a large wooden door and knocked with the back of his knuckles four quick times. A few seconds passed, five to be exact, and then the door swung open.

Rufus Longere, Michael's brother met him, pulling him in quickly. The room was dark and filled with smoke. The red ambiance of the bachelor's pad was intriguing and disgusting at the same time. Two men were playing pool, cigars clenched between their teeth.

Big and Roo were in the corner, speaking softly, which was hard considering Big's voice was about 10 octaves deeper than an ordinary man. Michael grabbed a beer out of the mini fridge before walking over to the two men.

"Hey Big," Michael pounded the large man's fist. "Can I speak to Roo for a minute?"

"Yea man," grunted Big. Roo pulled himself off of the worn in couch and followed the brothers outside to the alley.

"What is this news you needed to tell us?" Roo questioned, taking a swig of his beer.

"My fiancé knows him." Michael squinted toward the street, making the statement seem like no big deal.

"Who?" Rufus piped up.

"She wrote the name _Angel_ out on our guest list. It has to be him."

"Wait," Roo said slowly. "When I was doing my research, the stripper chick Angelo lived with was named Miriam Marquez. Is that your-"

"Shit," Michael cursed. "Miriam Marquez is Mimi, my fiancée."

The two brothers groaned, cursing, and kicking the ground. "Wait, wait boys," Roo laughed, holding up his finger. "This could work to our advantage. You just need to keep Mimi with you for the plan to unfold. This means she can never leave."

"If she finds out about my living, where our income comes from, she will want to leave!" cried Michael. "She doesn't know about any of this!"

Roo grinned. "Then we just won't let her." The hit man slowly traced his bony middle finger across the line of his throat, implying death.

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Review Right Now! And I promise an update by the end of the weekend! 


	29. Stay With Us

Thanks to _data girl 3, RENThead4LIFE96, Teenage dirtbag luvs dashy, GrammaticallySpeaking-x, x Step On Me x, Kp0282, and I Always Get it For Free x3_. Fanfiction will not let me respond to e-mails, so I don't want everyone to think I am ignoring them. So I will have to post some responses here until I figure out the problem.

_Kp0282_: I am so sorry! I love them together too, trust me. But I really had no choice. Maureen has AIDS and Joanne has a bright future. So breaking them up is the only thing I can do. I feel your pain! ( thanks for the review.

_Mandy-renthead:_ (In regards to Without You I Die) Don't worry! That story is complete, I just need to finish posting. It is a really long one, so I need to edit a lot. I will post once Unfaithful is finished.

_GrammaticallySpeaking-x_: Thanks so much for your interest. I am glad to hear you like my story! And I would love to check yours out. Keep reading and thanks!

* * *

.**Stay With Us**

(Mimi's POV)

_December 22, 1991 4:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

_The hallway stretched out before me. I could barely see anything, because fog was suffocating the air. Hitching up my wedding gown, I walked towards the door at the far end. It seemed to get farther and farther away. I ran and ran and ran as if someone was chasing me. And someone was, actually, a whole group of someone's. They had knives and weapons of every sort waving in the air. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. I could feel my throat slowly turning red with every failed attempt to make some noise. I suddenly threw my body through the black air and fell down, down, down into a large abandoned prison. Looking around, I could swear I heard the sweet chords of Mussetta's Waltz. A smile appeared on my face and I didn't hide it. The prison gate opened up revealing that door I had been trying to obtain. I quickly flung it open, in fear that it would leave again. Inside was Roger, playing his song, and grinning at me. I ran forward to embrace him. I wanted to tell him that I knew it was him in here all along and that I had missed him, but instead, his eyes rolled back into his head and he held his wrists out towards me. I screamed as the veins burst open with a loud popping squelch! Blood sprayed all over my white gown. He slowly crumbled to the ground, bleeding from his slit wrists. I bent down to pick him up, but every time I tried to touch him, I was pulled back. I wanted to help! Why couldn't I help him? What was this madness? I needed to be near him! Oh my god! "ROGER! ROGER! ROGER!"_

"ROGER! ROGER! ROGER!" I screamed, waking up from my dream. It wasn't even a dream, it was a nightmare. It was a horrible, horrible nightmare. My bed was drenched with my sweat and tears had clung to my skin, staining my face. The shades were still drawn back, making the room dark, but I could still tell I was alone.

Cold air rushed towards my skin as I threw back the blankets. The wood floor was even cooler as I sprinted downstairs to get some water in the kitchen. The house was so silent, which scared me a little. I always had that hidden fear of being alone in a house, in case a robber or murderer comes.

The glass in the cupboard had some water stains on it, which I know Mike hates. I cursed under my breath and turned around to get a towel to clean it and-

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

A tall man grabbed me and slung me over his shoulder, walking towards the front door.

"HELP! HELP! HELP! MIKE, SOMEONE! HELP!"

I never got a good look at him, even when he set me on the floor, grasping my wrist. "Shut up or you will not live," he whispered harshly. Before I could respond, he scooped me up again and barreled down the steps. The early morning sky was still black. A white van was parked out in the street, with the backdoor open. He tossed me in, slammed the door, and got in the front seat and stepped on the gas. The tires screamed against the pavement, probably leaving a skid mark.

I slowly pulled myself off the ground and began to cry. It was dark and smelled weird. This was it, I was going to die. I would never get married or start a family or have kids. There were so many things I still needed to do! I had to tell Maureen that she was the best friend I ever had. And I had to tell Angel and Collins thanks for everything they ever did for me. And I needed to tell Mark that I was sorry for all the pain I put him through. And I wanted to tell Erika to take care of Mark and that I was glad they were together. And I needed to tell Roger that-

"Mimi?"

"Mike?" It was his voice that I heard. I knew it was. "MIKE? WHERE ARE YOU?"

The car stopped abruptly and a small window opened up between the front seat and the back, where I was. Mike's face popped into view. I crawled forward to embrace him, but he held me back.

"We need to talk to you," he said sternly. His tone scared me and I backed away. "Look out the window." I did and gasped.

We were in front of the loft. I could smell Avenue A all around me. I wanted to cry, I missed this place so much. There were a few homeless men and bums walking around. I couldn't see into the windows of my old home, but I would've liked to imagine all of the Bohemians sitting inside.

"What?" I sniffled. "I don't understand. You did this? You had me _kidnapped_? Why Mike, why would you-"

He hit the side of the van, silencing me. "Do you know where we are?"

"Yes, of course I do, but-"

"Shut up," yelled the man, who had taken me from my home. "Just shut up and listen."

"Thanks Roo," Mike mumbled. "Now, where did you live?"

"Here," I cried. "Right here! Why is this relevant?"

"SHUT UP!" the man named Roo screamed.

"Who did you live with?" Mike waited for my answer, but I wouldn't open my mouth. "ANSWER ME!"

I could feel my lip trembling. "Um Roger and Mark. Erika was there for a little while and Maureen and Joanne stopped by a lot. So did Collins and Angel. We basically all lived there."

"You lived with Angel before this, didn't you?" Mike snapped.

I nodded and Roo, who I still could not see started hitting the steering wheel. "THEN TELL US THAT BITCH!"

Mike didn't respond. Why wasn't he protecting me from this man? I was so confused and I began to let the tears fall.

"Mimi," Mike said in that same pissed off tone. "Did you know that Angel was a part of an Italian gang in his childhood and ran to the Lower East Village to get away from it?"

"No, she never told me."

"Angel's real name is Angelo. And one of the rules of gangs is that if you leave a gang, you will be killed and everyone you associated with in that time period of after leaving will be killed too. So technically, I could get my boys to come and kill you, but-"

"YOUR BOYS? YOU ARE A PART OF THIS?"

SMACK! Roo reached back through the window and struck me across the face with the back of his hand. I fell back onto my back, stunned. "Mike," I whined quietly. Why wasn't he helping me?

"Please shut up Mimi," replied Mike. "We aren't going to kill you, but all those people you listed are as good as dead. And you gave us there names, so we are good to go."

Mike slammed the window and the car took off. I didn't even bother to scream for help. I just curled up in the corner and tried to figure out why all of this was happening. I never did anything wrong. Mike chose me! He said he loved me and now he is lying to me and threatening to kill my family. I needed to warn them. I turned to the door of the trunk and found that the handle was ripped off.

The car pulled to a stop again some time later and Mike opened the back door. I began to get out, but he pushed me back.

"I know you will try to run and tell them, so for our own good we need to keep you here for the night. Now, I bought you a gorgeous new outfit for the wedding rehearsal. You will look amazing. I can bring it to you tomorrow and some of my boys will escort you inside so you can get ready. I will see you tomorrow at the church for the rehearsal. Thanks for the cooperation babe. I love you."

He leaned in to kiss me and I pushed his cheek away with my hand gently. His face turned red and he lashed out, grabbing my wrist and getting very close to my face.

"You are in no position to touch me," he snarled. "You will be nothing without me. I am doing you a favor by marrying you. You love me, there is no denying it. This is just one glitch and we will get past it. For now, if you want to stay alive, you should just keep your mouth shut and cooperate. Comprende?"

"You said you loved me," I cried.

"You know I do boo," he closed the door. "You know I do."

As I laid in the van for the rest of the day into the night, I had a lot of time to think about my life. I knew at this point it would turn out crappy. They were going to kill everyone tonight. It was my entire fault. They were all going to lose their chance at life and it was my fault entirely. Roger was going to die and I never even got to tell him that I never stopped loving him and my biggest mistake was leaving him. I should've stayed with him and gotten married to him and started a family with him, because I knew deep down he was the only man I could ever spend my life with. Our love was always tested and we made it through every time. I hated myself for just realizing this now. Mike's love had blinded me and I was trapped now. I got everyone killed and now I was forced to marry this man to stay alive. At this point maybe I should just die.

But Mike's voice kept ringing in my head. _"You will be nothing without me."_

He was right, he was completely and utterly correct. I was going to be nothing without him. And now that they were all dead, I would have to face the music and walk down the aisle. Cause without him I had no chance out there. And at that point, I began believing him. It was unbelievable, but I believed him.

o o o o o

(Mark's POV)

_December 23, 1991 4:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

I was lying awake in bed when there was a small knock on the front door. Happy for an excuse to do something, I immediately jumped up to go get it. Erika was standing in the darkness as I slid it open.

"Hey babe," she said. "Can I come in?"

"Yes," I whispered. She pushed past me and went to go make some tea.

"She is still staying here?" asked Erika, pointing to Maureen's sleeping figure on the couch.

"For the time being she is. It is too hard for her to go back with Joanne just now. She said she wanted to give Jo some space for a while."

The old kettle began to hiss. I was always so shocked at her knack for making tea. She was always so precise and quick about it. "So what is keeping you up tonight?"

"I am nervous about today. It seems that everyone has these high hopes and I know we are all just going to be let down dramatically. She is not coming back."

I couldn't think of anything to say. I just prayed for Roger's sake that some good would come out of this. He even seemed to be a little happier these past two days, knowing he would be seeing Mimi soon.

"What are you guys doing?"

We turned around and saw Maureen sitting up, yawning. She wrapped the blanket around her and walked over to us, propping her elbows up on the metal table.

"Making tea and talking about the day ahead of us," Erika sighed, handing Maureen a cup of the drink.

"I just don't want Roger to be hurt anymore than he already is," replied Maureen. "He has been through too much after losing her. I can't bear to see him in pain."

"I know what you mean," I sighed. I hated to see my best friend upset. It just brought everyone else down with him. "Should we even bother going?"

"Despite our fear for our friend, we need to support him," Erika spoke up. "He wants this and needs this. We know that and we need to be with him when he goes to see her."

We all finished our tea, trying to avoid the subject. Finally, around 6 in the morning, Maureen fell asleep, right on the table. I carried her back to the couch and tucked her in.

"I will see you later," whispered Erika, kissing me on the cheek.

"No," I replied, putting my arm around her. I lead her to my bedroom so we could go back to bed. "Just stay with us tonight."

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 23, 1991 6:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

The van door opened, waking me up. Two men that were unfamiliar to me grabbed my arms and dragged me up the steps, back into the house, and up to my bedroom.

"Your clothes are on the bed," the larger one grunted. Then he turned to the other man. "Rufus, keep guard so she doesn't run."

I turned to watch the man leave, aware of the smaller man's eyes boring into the back of my head. Once the first man was out of sight, I turned to the other named Rufus.

"So," he asked quietly. "You know Angelo?"

"Who?"

"I mean Angel."

"Yes, I know her very well. She is my best friend."

"And," he choked. "And he never mentioned me?"

"I am sorry, I don't think he did."

"I was his first boyfriend," Rufus whispered.

Then it hit me. Angel had mentioned him. He always told me of his first boyfriend, who gave him AIDS back in his teen years. "Yes, yes he did mention you once in a while."

"Let me guess," he chuckled sourly. "He told you all about how I gave him AIDS and how I broke his heart."

"Yes," I sighed. "But he also told me all about how sorry he was that he had to leave you and that he would always love you. Angel believes that love never dies."

Rufus looked at me sadly. I knew his heart was good and I wanted to tell him he didn't have to be doing what he was doing.

"Are they all," I couldn't even finish the statement. "Are they all dead? Did you guys-"

"Yes," Rufus said sadly. "We got them."

"Were you there when it happened? Did you see any of them?"

"No," he said, with a puzzled expression on his face. "Why?"

"I don't know," I cried. "I just wanted to know what the last thing they said was."

"I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault, it's mine." I turned to go back into the bedroom to get ready, but instead he grabbed my arm.

"I know you must hate us all, but you need to know that Mike loves you and I am sorry for all the pain we are causing you. But if you just go through with this wedding, my brother will be a good husband to you."

I smiled weakly and closed the door to get changed. So that was it, Rufus and Mike were brothers. Rufus would be my new brother-in-law. Holding back tears, I put on my black and white flowered skirt and a black long sleeved shirt. I pulled the scoop neck down to show off my necklace. I should have been wearing one that Mike gave me, but instead I put on the one Roger gave me on one of our first official dates. It was silver with heart that had my initial delicately carved onto the pendant. I rubbed it gently and then slipped on my black stilettos.

The rest was a blur as I put on my makeup and did my hair. The boys led me back out to the van and we had a bumpy ride over to the church. Mike opened the back door and escorted me outside to meet our guests that were a part of the wedding.

"Smile baby, we are getting married."

But I couldn't smile. Instead, I put on a fake grin and said hello to everyone I knew and shook hands with people I had never met before. Once all the hellos were in order, we walked inside and met the priest. All my bridesmaids were women that were friends with Mike, as were the groomsmen, flower girl, and ring bearer. I felt like I knew no one there except for a few of my high school girlfriends.

I watched from the back of the church as everyone sat down and the organ started. Although it was a rehearsal, I felt as if I was tying the knot right then and there! I spotted my parents and shot daggers into the back of their heads. Everyone slowly stepped forward and walked down the aisle. I could see Mike at the altar, smiling, and looking like a million bucks. Finally, my cue came and I walked down the aisle, alone. I felt like a princess, because everyone was looking at me. I wasn't happy though.

"Mimi," the priest directed. "At this point you will stand next to your husband and say your vows after he goes. Then a few people will read." He gestured to the readers and they did a quick run through. I barely listened to the priest at all. "And then I will say does anyone have any objections and-"

The back doors burst open and the priest's focus was interrupted as he stared to the back of the church.

"I beg your pardon," his voice boomed. "But are you a part of this wedding party?"

"Actually no, but I was invited."

I turned around slowly and a large smile escaped my lips. Angel was standing next to a large bath of holy water, hand on her hip, and smirk on her face. The whole church erupted in whispers. Butterflies entered my stomach and I let out a happy laugh. She was alive!

"You need to leave," Mike called and turned to me. "Did you invite them?"

Them? That is when I noticed Collins, Maureen, Joanne, Mark, and Erika walking through the door. "Yes," I laughed. They were alive! They were actually alive! I thought they had been killed, but they were alive! "They are with me."

Suddenly, Mike recognized Angel and quickly called his men over. "That is them," he snapped. "Get them _now!_"

"Should we take a small break?" whispered the priest.

"These people are not supposed to be here!" Mike yelled. He stormed to the back of the church and started yelling at Angel, who just yelled back. Everyone stood up and started moving around, trying to see what was going on.

"Mimi," someone called. I followed its sound and saw Maureen rushing towards me. I quickly embraced her. "You need to listen to me."

"I thought you were dead!"

"Dead?" she laughed. "Why? Listen, you can't marry Mike. Angel wanted to-"

"Where is Roger? Is he still alive?"

"Yes," cried Maureen. "He is outside, but you can't-"

I pushed past her and ran out through the side door of the church. And sure enough, standing in the parking lot was Roger. Before I could even say anything, the front doors opened and all the Bohemians were pushed outside with Mike leading the way.

"We will deal with you later Angelo," he snapped. "But you are not ruining _my_ wedding! Now get out now or-"

"We are taking Mimi with us!" Angel screamed.

And there I was, standing between my fiancé and my best friend. I knew I didn't have a choice. If I went with him, maybe I could keep everyone alive. But I knew we would all die if I went with them.

"Mimi, get back in the church," Mike yelled, advancing towards Angel. "NOW!"

"Just don't hurt them," I begged quietly. "Please don't hurt them Mike!"

He didn't respond and I ran back into the church, holding back tears. But before the door closed, I made eye contact with Roger one more time. He had come forward to join everyone else. And he would not take his disapproving stare off of me.

* * *

Come on, come on! Hit that purple-blue box! 


	30. Far Away

_Disclaimer: If I owned RENT my life would be pretty complete. :D_

* * *

**Far Away**

(Roger's POV)

_December 23, 1991 7:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

"Are they really going to kill us?" Maureen asked. We were all sitting at the loft, talking about our attempt to get Mimi back.

"I don't know," Angel sighed.

"Can you please tell us why she can't marry him?" Mark asked.

Angel looked at the ground and then up at all of us. She received a reassuring hand squeeze from Collins and started her story. She told us all about her own childhood and how she met Rufus. And then how she received HIV. She revealed that her brother was in a gang and they had turned on him and murdered him, forcing Angel, who was Angelo at the time, to take his place. She came here and never did any of the killing and spying she was supposed to do. One of the leaders of the gang was a man named Michael, who was Rufus' brother.

"Michael and Mimi grew up together and-"

Maureen spoke up, interrupting Angel. "And they are getting married on Christmas!"

We all looked at her, shocked at her outburst. Angel looked at her suspiciously and then cleared her throat. "Yes," she said slowly. "I don't know how you knew that, but that is why I wanted to stop them! But it is too risky. This is my fault. All of this! I am putting you all at danger, but there is nowhere for us to go, so I don't know what to tell all of you."

"We will be fine," Mark responded.

I was frozen. Mimi was about to marry a murderer. And if he was capable of man slaughter, what could he be capable of around her? I could never live with myself if she got hurt because of this man. I ran into my room and grabbed my coat, when something caught my eye. Lying on my bed was my guitar and wrinkled notebook. Sitting down on the bed, I opened up to the first page. One more line was left and I would be done. I hadn't even realized that I had finished it. I thought there was so much more I had to write, but that was it. This composition I had been stressing over was complete. But how would I finish the song?

Mark came into the doorway of my room. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to get her."

"We already tried that bro," he sighed.

"We didn't try hard enough," I snapped. "She is marrying a murderer. We just showed up and told her to come with us. I need to go and_ bring_ her back! She is not safe."

"But does she want to come back?"

I hadn't thought of that. Dropping my bag, I walked over to the window. There was no way she wanted to come with us. If she did, she would have been here already.

"Then again," Mark said slowly. "You will never know until you try. And if she does want to come back, then you will regret not going for the rest of your life."

"So what are you saying?" I raised an eyebrow at my best friend, who just smirked back at me, before turning around and leaving.

Taking that as my cue to leave, I ran right past everyone and into the hallway, taking the stairs down two at a time.

"ROGER!" Erika was at the top of the stairs when I turned around. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"Going to get her!"

"Did you not hear Angel? It isn't safe! They could kill you Rog! I would never forgive myself if I let you go!"

"And I will never forgive myself if I don't go and try to bring her back. All my life I only had one thing to care about and that was Mimi. I am not near her anymore and I am afraid, because there is no way I can protect her from all the way over here!"

Erika stared at me, faking a smile. "Then what are you waiting for? I am not standing in your way."

And with that, I was off.

o o o o o

(Mimi's POV)

_December 23, 1991 8:30 p.m. eastern standard time_

The rehearsal went fantastic and everyone seemed to forget about the Bohemian run-in. After we practiced saying _I do's,_ we all went to an Italian restaurant around the corner and listened to dozens of people give us good luck speeches. These speeches included a sickening one from my mother, where she told me how beautiful I was and how proud she was of me. After the meal, I was loaded back into the white van and brought home. Mike's men brought me up to the room for "safety precautions." And that is where I am sitting now.

The sky outside was a dark blue. I could smell this distinct scent of smoke and evergreen pine needles. It was the smell of Christmas. The tree next to my window began hitting the side of the house. The wind continued to push it at will. I watched as the neighbors went up and down the block, heading home to a warm house, and maybe a home cooked meal. The house across the street from us had a huge front window, giving me access to the living room. A beautifully shaped tree was set up and the family was decorating it. I could see the father, smoking his pipe and the mother wearing a festive holiday sweater. Three children were running around and laughing. The oldest was a girl, who looked to be in her early teens. She was eating a Christmas cookie, which probably just came out of the oven. A young boy was placing bulbs on many different branches and laughing loudly. The youngest of the children raised her hands to her father, who scooped her up, and placed her on his shoulders. The toddler had a large gold star clutched between her tiny fingers. I watched her place it at the top of the tree. Once it was set, I watched the family step back and admire their work. And as they stepped back and held on to each other, just as any family should, I felt my stomach grow empty. I longed for that experience that I would never get to live through. This was the ideal family I was staring at and they didn't even know how good they had it.

I began to cry, because I realized that I didn't know how good I had it with my friends. I was never happier than when I was with them. And I hated myself, because if it took me this long to realize it, then I never deserved them. And they were going to die and it was my entire fault. I rested my head on the windowsill, staring at the family across from me and began to cry. I didn't want to get married. I wanted to rewind these last 6 months. I wanted to just curl up and die.

Sweet music came up through my window, breaking up my thoughts. The soft strumming of a guitar sliced the silence of the night. I sat up, wiping me eyes, and ran to my window. I began to laugh and cry even harder at what I saw.

"_This time, this place. Misused, mistakes. Too long, too late. Who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath. Just in case there's just one left. 'Cause you know, you know, you know."_

The soft lyrics were floating up to me from Roger's lips. It was dark, but I knew it was him. I couldn't even focus. I gripped the sill, as I felt my knees give out. I cried and cried at his presence. He was back and he was so close to me. It was my Roger.

"_That I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Been away for far too long. __I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."_

He walked closer to my window, stepping into the light. He was gorgeous. His green eyes sparkled up at me and he was grinning a white toothed smile. His guitar rested comfortably in his hands. I stood up and put my head all the way outside, into the night. Resting my chin in my hand, I listened to the rest of his song, which I knew was written for me.

_"On my knees, I'll ask, last chance for one last dance.'Cause with you, I'd withstand all of hell to hold your hand. I'd give it all. I'd give for us. Give anything but I won't give up. 'Cause you know, you know, you know. __That I love you. I have loved you all along. And I miss you. Been away for far too long. __I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go. Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore."_

I stepped out onto a branch of the tree that had been scraping against the house previously. Focusing on my balance, I crawled to the trunk of it and clung to its bark. Slowly and carefully I climbed down towards the grass. Then, knowing I would be safe, I let go and fell to the ground. But before I hit it, Roger was there to provide me with safety and security, as he caught me with his free hand and set me next to him. I wanted to jump into his arms, but he had another agenda, as he continued to sing.

"_So far away. Been far away for far too long. So far away. Been far away for far too long  
But you know, you know, you know. I wanted, I wanted you to stay. 'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say, that I love you. I have loved you all along. And I forgive you, for being away for far too long. So keep breathing. 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it. Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing. 'Cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it. Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing. Hold on to me and, never let me go. Keep breathing. Hold on to me and, never let me go."_

He slowly stopped playing and looked at me. "I wrote this for you."

"I know," I laughed, with tears still falling.

"Can you ever forgive me Mimi?"

"Roger," I whispered. "I love you. I have loved you all along. And I forgive you, for being away for far too long."

He began to laugh at my corniness. The same exact laugh he used when I came back to him so many Christmases ago, when he thought he lost me. He never lost me though, because I never left him.

With that, there was nothing left to be said and he dropped his guitar and drew me close to him, kissing me hard. A kiss I had not felt in what seemed like forever. I didn't even care we were in the view of the public. I didn't care that my fiancé and the rest of his mafia was just sitting inside. I didn't care that we were all at danger of being murdered. Nothing mattered at that moment. Nothing at all! And after what seemed like an eternity in his strong hold, he broke away and rubbed my bare arms. I picked up his guitar and he wrapped his coat around me. Then, we walked away from my past, holding each other as close as we could.

_Keep breathing  
hold on to me, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
hold on to me, never let me go  
Keep breathing  
hold on to me, never let me go_

* * *

So I basically think this was the icing on the cake and an adorable chapter. But tell me what you think! And if you do there will be much more to come. I promise. The story is not over yet. 


	31. Bang!

Memorial Break was awesome! And I am so excited for something that I cannot say that has to do with my boyfriend Adam Pascal. D So I just needed to say that. Okay.

Since Fanfiction still will not let me reply to your messages and reviews, I will just answer a few here.

So, to whom they apply to: No, I am not writing a sequel; Yes, I love Nickelback and I am glad you are so supportive of Mimi's dreams; and you should be worried **;-)**

_Disclaimer: ;-)_

* * *

_**Bang!**_

(Roger's POV)

_December 24, 1991 9:45 a.m. eastern standard time_

The sun hit my eyes and for once, I didn't ignore it and roll over, because this morning I had a reason to wake up. I let my eyes adjust to the light and then I turned on my side. She was sound asleep, with her lips slightly parted, and her curly hair covering most of her face. I brought my lips to hers and kissed her sleeping figure. Her eyes tightened and she moaned quietly, stretching and slowly waking up.

"Good morning beautiful."

"Mmm hi," she yawned, smiling at me.

I kissed her a few more times before completely waking up and getting out of bed. Last night, we had taken the long way home and didn't walk into the loft until midnight. I doubted anyone even knew Mimi was here yet. She bounced out of bed in my Rolling Stones t-shirt and a pair of Mark's socks.

"What is that smell?" She closed her eyes and sniffed the odor. "It is amazing."

"Erika has been cooking for us every morning."

Mimi turned the doorknob to leave, but I stopped her, by grabbing her waist and pulling her back to the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to share you just yet Mimi."

She giggled and wrapped her arms around me. "You are going to have to share me for a little eventually babe."

"Well I don't need to right-"

There was a knock on my door that cut me off. Mimi rolled her eyes, unraveling her arms from my neck, as I groaned and stood up to open it. "What?" I snapped.

"Hi Rog," Mark said, looking down at a small pile of mail. "I just wanted to-"

He stopped talking when he looked up and saw Mimi standing next to me. His jaw dropped along with the mail.

"Hi Marky," she laughed, crinkling her nose.

"MIMI!" he screamed. He came forward, picking her up and spinning her around. She planted a kiss on his cheek once he placed her on the ground. "When did you get home? We heard Roger come in last night, but I figured he was alone! I cannot believe you are here! ERIKA! MAUREEN!"

The two girls were already behind him, though after hearing him scream Mimi's name. "Oh my goodness Mimi!" Erika squealed. "How are you?"

The two girls hugged and I beamed down at them. Maureen, who seemed speechless, pushed through with tears in her eyes. "Mimi fucking Marquez if you ever leave us again I will hunt you down and bring you back. I don't care what you have to say about it."

"I say that it is okay with me," Mimi grinned, throwing her arms around the drama queen. Then she whispered in her ear, "You are my best friend."

"Oh god Mimi I have missed you!" Maureen cried.

"We need to call Angel and Collins over here so they can see you," I pointed out.

"They are already on their way," replied Erika. "I invited them over for breakfast initially. They should be here any minute."

Mimi headed off to the bathroom to freshen up, while Mark and I watched Erika finish cooking. This feeling of happiness for no reason was one that I was not used to and had not felt in a while. But I had missed it. Angel and Collins walked in and as if she set it up, Mimi came out at the same time.

"CHICA!" screamed Angel, running at her. "OH MIMI!"

"ANGEL!" she cried back, throwing her arms around the drag queen. "I miss you and I am so sorry for everything. It is all my fault and-"

"Don't say another word. We all make mistakes."

Mimi smiled, wiping away a tear. Then she ran over to Collins, who picked her up like a little kid and hugged her for a long time.

"Oh," Mimi sighed once she was put back on the ground. "I missed all of you so much. And I am so sorry for everything."

"Mimi," I said sternly. "Knock it off! You have nothing to be sorry for. Now let's eat."

We all took a plate and sat around each other, watching the news on the old television set. Erika's face came onto the screen and we all laughed at her pre-recorded report. It felt like old times. We were all joking and smiling. None of us had a care in the world.

"So," Maureen spoke up. "Now what?"

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

"Well, we are all here now, but Mimi's fiancé is probably-"

"X-fiancé," corrected Mimi.

"Yes," Maureen rolled her eyes. "Her x-fiancé is probably after us right now. We know he wanted us all dead. So are we just going to sit here until they decide to kill us?"

For once, no one had an answer for her, not even Angel. No words of encouragement were passed, no whispers of advice, not even a polite shrug. The silence just took over and left us all confused and upset. And that is when I decided it was my turn to be the one to raise everyone's spirits.

"Okay guys," I smiled, standing up. "It is Christmas Eve.! Let's forget about this and celebrate. Collins, open up a bottle."

A look of pure shock took over everyone's face as they watched me stand up and encourage everyone to be happy. I knew they were surprised, because it was always them trying to cheer _me_ up, not the other way around. I was proud that I could prove to them that I was a good guy deep down. Sometimes it just took a little motivation to get me going. And I grabbed the hand of that motivation and she smiled up at me.

o o o o o

(Erika's POV)

_December 24, 1991 7:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

The buzz of alcohol and the laughter from my friends warmed the house that evening. This was the first non-legitimate Christmas I had ever celebrated. I was used to spending the whole day cooking and then sitting down to a huge turkey dinner. Then, after we ate, we would finish decorating the tree, while playing the same old Christmas records. And once the house seemed ready to go, we would read _The Night Before Christmas_ around the fire. And then before we all went off to sleep, we were allowed to open one small present. But only one girl could take so much Christmas music! And how many times could I possibly listen to that opening line: _'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse._ Yes, my old routine was played out and boring, making this Christmas Eve., the most exciting one yet.

Mark walked over to me and held his hand above my head. I glanced up, seeing the little green mistletoe. "Mr. Cohen," I teased. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

He responded with a long, hard kiss, which I returned happily. We went like this for a while, until Roger came over, stealing the mistletoe for Mimi's and his own use.

"Joanne cannot come," Maureen frowned, after hanging up the phone. "She is going to be at the office all night."

Not really knowing what to say, I yelled out, "I baked a pie if anyone wants any!"

And of course, everyone followed me to the over, where I pulled out the apple pie and placed it on the table. I had never seen any of them eat so much! It was nice though, to see them appreciate my cooking. Everyone seemed so content and-

The door flew open, shaking the room, and interrupting my thoughts. I could have sworn smoke blocked the intruder from view, but I knew it was just my mind playing tricks on me. A tall dark haired man stood in the entranceway with a handgun dangling from his fingers. Mark was the first to react, pushing me down behind the metal table. Collin stepped in front of Angel and Mark pushed Maureen down next to me. Roger pulled Mimi back, but she wouldn't budge.

"Mike," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"You didn't think you could just leave, did you?" he asked coldly. Three other men were standing in the hall behind him. "Now get the hell over here."

"No," her voice was shaking. "Mike I-"

He raised the gun and shot it into the air, causing Maureen to let out a small scream. "I said now!"

"Mike, no!" Mimi's voice was shaking even worse.

Roger stepped forward, blocking Mimi. "She said no! Now get the fuck out of here."

"Who the hell are you?" the man named Mike yelled.

"Roger, please. Please just don't say anything, I got this," Mimi pleaded with Roger quietly. I could hear the tears in her voice.

"Oh," Mike snarled. "So this is _Roger_? Roger Davis, correct?"

She turned to the armed man. "Mike, you need to go. I cannot marry you. Please just go!"

"There's Angelo," pointed out the shortest man, motioning to Angel. "You see him Mike?"

"I see him Rufus! Now shut up." Mike turned back to Angel. "Did you think you can run away from us? Did either of you think you could run? You betrayed us Angelo and you know you have to pay. Just like your brother, you will have to pay!" He started walking forward to Angel, but Mimi ran in front of him and pushed him back. She began beating her fists against his chest, but was quickly stopped, when he grabbed her wrists and pointed the gun to her jaw line. Before anyone could react, he kicked her feet out from under her and watched her fall to the ground before throwing her across the room.

"DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH HER AGAIN!" Roger yelled louder than anyone expected. Even Mike was taken by surprise. He ignored Roger's outburst and continued towards Angel, but Roger had another agenda.

"ROGER, NO!" Mark yelled, but it was too late. Roger had dove at Mike and grabbed his waist, throwing him to the ground. The two of them wrestled for a while, rolling around the floor, until Mimi stood up to end it, pulling Mike off of him. Now, we were all staring at the gunman, who had Mimi in his hold, and a look of pure insanity.

"Anyone else move and I swear to God, I will kill her," Mike hissed. Roger was breathing heavily, with a huge scratch on his cheek, spilling blood. Mike had his own battle scar, as his own blood flowed from his nostrils. I looked at Mimi, but she didn't look scared. She sort of looked as if she accepted all this. Almost as if she had a feeling something like this would happen.

"Rufus," snapped Mike. "Grab Angel."

Rufus stepped forward and Roger moved towards him to block the way. "God dammit," Rufus whispered. "Do you want her to die? She is coming with us and nothing is going to change."

"For someone who _loves her_, you are really proving it!" Roger continued in a dangerous tone, stepping towards the danger, ignoring the man named Rufus. "Yes, holding a gun to her is really showing your affection! You are supposed to care for her and love her!"

"NO!" Mimi screamed. She pulled away from Mike and began to yell. "I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU! I AM NOT LEAVING WITH YOU! I AM STAYING HERE WITH ROGER AND EVERYONE ELSE! YOU CAN'T-"

_BANG!_ The gun was fired and there was a groan, as someone fell to the ground. Before we even had time to see who it was, Mimi began to scream.

"ROGER! ROGER!" she ran to his side and threw her body on him. She began to cry and held him, not caring that he was bleeding all over her. Maureen grabbed my hand and held back tears as we watched what was going on from under the table.

The breathing coming from Roger began to stutter and Mimi turned to look at Mike. "Look at what you've done," she seethed through her tears. "Look at what _you have_ done!"

"You only have yourself to blame Mimi!" he laughed. "Did you think you could leave me and get away with it? If you would have just left, then he would not be dieing. You should have thought of that!"

"I HATE YOU MIKE! I HATE YOU!" she ran towards him, beating her hands against his chest once again. She somehow managed to knock the gun out of his hand, leaving him unarmed. At fear if being exposed, Mike grabbed his fiancé's throat and shoved her up against the wall. I watched as her feet slowly left the ground. She gripped his callused hands, her nails digging into his skin. Her feet kicked and swung back and forth, as she gasped for air. I didn't know what to do. What could we do? I started to stand up, but Maureen pulled me down quickly. I wanted to cry or panic or-

_BANG! _The second gunshot of the day sounded. I watched the scene before me unfold. Mike's back arched and his hand clutched Mimi's throat tighter. She slowly regained connection with the ground, though and soon her airway was opened as Mike released his grip. His face was shocked and he just stared at Mimi, as he fell forward onto her. We watched her try to hold up his body, but failed, and the two of them fell to the ground.

"Rufus," Angel whispered sternly. "Get the hell out of here. And _never_ come back."

The drag queen stood before her x-boyfriend, the man who gave her AIDS and aided in the murder of her brother. He stared at him hard and long, until the two men surprisingly retreated. We all couldn't move and waited for Angel to release her hold on the trigger and let the gun fall to the wooden floor.

Mimi began to sob and climbed out from under the deadweight that was placed upon her. Mike wasn't responding from what I could see and I knew he was dead. Mimi just covered her mouth and stared at the bloody hole in his back, sobbing and shaking. Then, as if that was our cue, we all began to run around the room. I shut the door with Maureen and Collins ran to Angel's side to hold her. Mark bent down next to Roger, whose eyes were closed and face was frozen. I had almost forgotten about his bleeding body. Mimi ran over to him. Her world was shattering; I could see it in her eyes. I picked up the phone and began to dial the hospital, but Mimi's actions distracted me slightly. The young Latina pushed Mark aside and fell next to him. And surprisingly, she began to talk to him.

"Baby," she whispered. Her tears were falling over his ghostly face. Her Spanish hair was hanging in her face, so I could not see her expression, but I could imagine it. "Baby, you cannot die. Not now. I am begging you Roger, you cannot die. I need you here. I am sorry. Are you punishing me, because I left? I love you, do you hear me? DO YOU HEAR ME? Roger, Roger, please Roger, you have to pull through. You just have to."

"Hello? 9-1-1, what is your emergency? Hello? Is anyone there?"

I regained focus and heard the operator on the other end.

"Um, yes sorry." My voice was shaking now. "Someone is hurt. My friend is hurt. He was shot. We need an ambulance."

"Where are you? What is your address?"

"We live in the Lower East Village, in an abandoned building, currently owned by Cyber Arts. We don't exactly have an address."

"Come on Meems," Collins said gently, touching Mimi's shoulders to pull her away. "The ambulance is coming."

"NO! DON'T TOUCH ME! HE HAS TO PULL THROUGH! HE HAS TO! HE SAID HE LOVED ME! HE CANNOT LEAVE ME NOW. I PROMISED I WOULD NEVER LEAVE AGAIN." She bent down and kissed his lips. "That isn't fair baby. You can't leave me. You are part of that promise too. You can't go. I love you. I have never loved anyone as much as you."

At this point, the EMT's came running in with a stretcher. "You need to move miss," one of them called.

"NO! YOU CANNOT TAKE HIM!"

"Mimi they are going to get him help!" Collins yelled, grabbing Mimi's waist and holding her away from Roger. She pulled away, kicking and screaming and trying to get out of the professor's strong hold, but it was useless. She brought her knees up to her chest and cried as Collins just held her in the air, trying to keep her away from the love of her life. It pained him to do it, but he had to.

"ROGER! I AM SORRY! I AM SORRY!"


	32. Crazy In Love

_Disclaimer: I do not own RENT. But I do however own these cliffhangers that everyone is yelling at me about._

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**Crazy In Love**

(Mimi's POV)

_December 24, 1991 7:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

April was a coward for leaving. She was a coward who left Roger all alone. It was the most selfish act in the world. But now Roger was threatening me with this act. If he left, he would be just as bad as her. I would not be able to go on without him. But despite all of that, I decided that if Roger didn't pull through, then I would just join the rest of the cowards in the world. I would rather have no life than live a lonely one.

Angel held my hands as we sat in the waiting room of the hospital. The tiles on the floor were bright white and chipping in a few corners, but they looked clean. And I knew this, because it was the only thing I would look at. I could hear Mark in the corner talking to the police. Erika was next to him, giving the report of tonight's happenings.

"So this man was a family friend?" the officer asked.

"No," Mark cleared his throat. "He was a fiancé of-"

"An x-fiancé of my friend Mimi." Erika interrupted.

"I should go over and give them some background on this guy," Angel whispered, squeezing my hand and letting go. I just continued to stare at the floor. The song he played for me the other night was playing in my head. It might have been the last night I will ever hear him play. Sighing, I buried my head in my hands. It was so cold in the hospital. Death was everywhere.

"Excuse me," questioned a voice. "Are you with Roger Davis?"

I looked up and saw the face of a kind, elderly doctor. He was holding a clipboard and staring at it over the brim of his glasses. I stood up and nodded, not sure what to say.

"I can only reveal information to his family," he said quickly. "How are you related?"

"Girlfriend," I whispered.

"I am sorry, I couldn't hear you." He offered me a small, sad smile. "Once again, I can only release information to his _family._"

"Oh," I said a little louder, not having energy to smile. "I am his fiancé, soon to be wife."

"That is fine," he said, accepting my lie with a wink. "Do you need anyone with you when I give you his update?"

I looked around the waiting room. Collins had gone downstairs for some coffee with Maureen. And Angel, Mark, and Erika were speaking to the cop. I didn't want anyone else with me anyway. This was between me and Roger.

"No, I can do it."

He led me down an empty, but extremely lit hallway, with patients' rooms on either side of us. He stopped near a stretcher and sighed, crossing his hands, with the clipboard in between his callused fingers. The board looked so small against his hold. They reminded me of Roger's hands. I had a feeling that if the news was bad, I would kill this man, right on the spot. I would take him with us.

"Mr. Davis was shot in the right side. The bullet hit the Inferior Vena Cava, which is a vein that carried de-oxygenated blood from the lower half of the body to the heart. This explains why he passed out so rapidly. He may have also had the appearance of being dead, because half of the oxygen needed for the heart was not being carried. The bullet also grazed the Adrenal Glands, which are attached to the kidneys."

"Is he alright? That is all I care to hear."

The doctor removed his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Mr. Davis will need to be put on life support to make sure that his ribcage is strong enough to protect the organs and to ensure that he is breathing properly. And he may have some breathing troubles for the rest of his life. But by tomorrow, he should be fine."

"Yes but………………" I stopped talking. Did he just say fine? Fine meant good and good meant alive! "FINE? He is fine? He is alive?"

"Yes, he will make it."

I began to cry. I didn't know why. I should have been celebrating, but instead, I cried and cried. I clung to the doctor's bleach white coat and held him close to me. "Thank you, thank you," I sobbed.

"He is conscious if you want to see him," the doctor suggested, pointing to a room a few feet away from us. He was this close the whole time? He was right in that room while I waited to here his condition? I began to jog there, but the doctor called. "Good luck with your _fiancé_." He then winked and began to walk away.

"Doctor," I called. He turned around and I let out the first smile I had in two hours. "Thank you. Thank you for everything. You have no idea-"

"Just go see him Miss," the man smiled kindly. I couldn't help but give him one more grin before running to Roger's side.

The room was dark and I could hear machines pumping life into his veins. I tip toed over to his bedside and when I saw him, half of me died, and the other half fell in love all over again. The doctors had stitched the cut on his cheek, making his skin swell a little. His eyelids looked purple against his ghost white skin. His mouth was partially open and he was breathing heavily. I could see his right arm over the blanket. It was in a sling that went up and around his neck. He was not wearing a shirt and his whole middle was wrapped in white bandages. Over his right rib was a dark stain from the blood seeping through the cloth. It made me shudder. I cleared my throat and stepped up to the bedside. His eyes opened slowly and he grinned, despite his pain.

"I am sorry I couldn't save you when he had you on the wall," he whispered.

"Don't say anything Roger," I laughed slightly. I was just glad he was alive. He was alive! I quickly wisped away some fat, salty tears that had been making a trail down my cheek "I am the one who is sorry. I put everyone into that situation and almost got you killed and I am just so sorry."

"Don't be!" He reached out with his good hand and pulled me towards him. "I am going to kill him when I see him, though. I swear Mimi, I am going to. I will."

"Baby," I cried. "He is dead. Angel got the gun and shot him. You must have blacked out before that happened."

Roger just looked up at me. "Are you okay with that?"

I had never thought of this. Was I okay with Mike being dead? I loved him, I really did. I could never love him the same way I loved Roger, but he was always there for me. I grew up with him. He comforted me and made me laugh and loved me so well. I wasn't sure if I was sad that he was gone. The bottom of my heart felt heavy and my conscience was guilty, because I knew it was my fault he was dead. But if he was still alive, nothing would have changed. I would still be with Roger.

"I don't want to talk about that right now. I want to talk about you?"

He slid over and I sat next to him, bringing my legs under me. He wrapped his hand around my waist and let out a sigh. "I feel so stupid sitting here."

"Well you need to so you can get better Roger."

"I know."

There was a long silence. It felt as if we had been together forever, when in reality we had only reunited about 24 hours ago. "You know," I started, gently putting my head on his chest. "I am really sorry I have been away for so long, but I never stopped loving you. I may have said I did, but I never truly did. I just want to pick up where we left off. Because I know I made a mistake. And I am just asking you not to base me on that stupid mistake and base your feelings on the me you know I am."

"Mimi, don't worry," he said. "I will."

"This is nice," I pointed out. "Oh by the way, happy anniversary."

"You remembered?" Roger exclaimed, looking at her.

"I remember every detail."

"What was going through your head when you came to get your candle lit?"

"I actually didn't need to. I blew out the flame before I knocked on your door. I had seen you a few times. And then I heard about your girlfriend dieing and I wanted to meet you. You seemed so sad and lonely. And you never came out of the house. I needed to meet you."

"Well I am glad you did," he laughed. "But I have to admit, I was very taken aback when you showed up."

"I give people that affect," I giggled, rubbing my nose against his.

"You are amazing Mimi."

He began to kiss me. I leaned forward, deepening it. But then, he just sat up and pushed me down, climbing on top of me. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, avoiding his arm. It was really hard to get comfortable, with all the IV's sticking out of him. I was so afraid to rip one out, but he seemed not to care. I reached down with my free hand and lifted my leg closer to me, untangling a thin wire from my foot. I heard him wince slightly when my knee grazed his side. I quickly retreated, but he just kept kissing me. Then, he broke away and came up for air.

"Do you remember that day, back in February? You know, how this whole string of fights and cheating started? Well, that day you said something to me. Do you remember?"

"I don't know, why?" I asked, sitting up, shocked by his sudden outburst. He said everything so quickly, it scared me a little. . "What did I say?" I didn't want him to bring this up now! Not when everything was so good. Why couldn't he just drop it? It was so long ago and now he was bringing it back up. I wanted to scream. He wouldn't stop, though and began to speak faster and faster.

"Um, you asked if we were going to be together for the rest of our lives. And I said no. Well, I was thinking. If we really weren't supposed to be together for the rest of our lives, then why am I still alive? I would have died when I got shot. But someone up there is keeping an eye out and keeping me on Earth for you. So I lied when I said that. And I am sorry it took me so long to tell you. So can you ask me that question again sometime?"

"What question?" Roger just stared at me. His deep breathing was the only sound. And then I knew what question he was talking about. The same question I had asked a long time ago. I looked at him and began to stutter. Why did he want me to ask him? "W-w-will we be togeth………together for-forever?"

"Yes."

o o o o o

(Maureen's POV)

_December 25, 1991 1:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

Angel was not charged with anything, because it was self defense. Self defense is right! The Police also thanked us, because we led them straight to Mike's gang, whom had been wanted for 5 years. And the discovery of that gang, allowed the Police to also find Los Caballos. All in all, the streets felt a little safer. We thanked the officers repeatedly for acting so rapidly and getting the men into handcuffs.

"The only one that got away was Mike's younger brother Rufus Longere. He fled and we are still searching, but his whereabouts are unclear," the captain of police had told us earlier in the day.

Angel seemed a little uneasy about that. I wasn't sure if it was for the well being of everyone or if it was because that was her first true love, who was wanted by police. Either way, Collins had been comforting her all night and into the day. Joanne had shown up early this morning, eager to see Roger. We were all eager to see him, but we had to wait until he woke up. They had carried Mimi out around two in the morning, because she had fallen asleep next to him. So basically, we all spent the night here, just waiting.

"Miss Marquez," an elderly doctor came over to Mimi, who was sitting up, and looking much happier than she had been last night. "Mr. Davis is awake and if you want to come and see him, you can do so now."

"Well," Mimi whispered, standing up. "Can they come too? They are family."

"I suppose," the doctor said, directing everyone to the room. "But you only have ten minutes."

The 7 of us practically ran to the door and opened it silently. It was funny to watch everyone tip-toe into the hospital room. Mimi was in the rear, letting everyone go in first. Once we were all in, she closed the door and disappeared.

Roger was lying in bed, staring at the television mounted on the wall. He had all sorts of IV's coming out of him and his right arm was held in a white sling. He looked pale and worn out, but there was still a happy sparkle to his eye.

"Look at you, you big pretty boy!" Collins was the first to speak, coming forward and giving Roger a hug. "What a way to spend Christmas."

Angel was next, throwing herself at him. "I take full responsibility for this and I feel just awful! I wish I could-"

"Oh shut up and move over!" I cried. "It is _not_ your fault, you know that! Hey Roger, baby, how are you?"

"I am fine Mo, thanks for coming," he laughed.

"Like I would miss it!" And I was serious. I would always stand by him and I knew that he knew that. I sat on the edge of the bed and Joanne, Erika, and Mark said their hellos.

"Where is Mimi," Roger asked, almost immediately after everyone hugged him. I laughed at him, looking around in concern, but then even I had to look. Where was she? We waited a little longer, giving our own explanations as to where she could be. But all of them seemed to get Roger more and more concerned.

"Anyway," I sighed. "Let's talk about something else, I-"

The doorknob turned and the wooden entranceway was slowly pushed forward, revealing Mimi with a tray of Jell-O and apple juice. She had a huge grin on her face, as she poked her head out from behind the dividing curtain. "Hi everyone! Merry Christmas!"

"Mimi, where were you?" Roger asked, laughing. Why was he laughing? He was so in love, it was crazy.

"He is crazy in love," Angel whispered in my ear.

"You read my mind," I giggled back.

The young Latina sat on the bed and handed Roger a Jell-O and the drink, before passing the tray around. I wanted to throw up when I saw the green chunk of bouncy crap, but I thought it would be rude to deny it, so I didn't. I swallowed my pride _and_ the Jell-O as quickly as I could.

"When are you coming home?" Mimi asked, running her fingers through her boyfriend's hair.

"A week," he said through a mouthful of Jell-O.

"You won't get to spend Christmas at home?" she frowned.

"We are celebrating right now!" Collins yelled. This was possibly his favorite holiday. I laughed at how much of a little boy he was acting like.

The rest of the day was filled with laughter and old memories. We silently agreed to avoid the situation of what happened and it was a good decision, because I don't think the pain would be good for everyone, especially Mimi. We definitely exceeded our ten minutes, because when the doctor came to get us, it was dark out. All of us hugged our friend, giving Mimi a minute along with him. I could hear them whispering to each other as we waited for her outside.

"Thank God they love each other again!" I squealed. "I don't think I can stand anymore break-up drama. We have been living for far too long without them together. It was weird."

"I agree Maureen," Mark said, speaking up for the first time since talking to the police. He didn't have his camera with him, which was weird, but I kind of liked it. He seemed so real and down-to-earth, as if he wasn't obligated to get everything on film. "But they never really stopped loving each other."

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A few more chapters to go! Review please!  



	33. I Love The Rain

Can you believe it? Yes, this is the second to last chapter. After this, I am going to finish uploading the Without You I Die series. It is great story and the first one I ever wrote. I guarantee if you like this one, WYID will be a great one to read. It is long, but worth it. So please keep reviewing here and then stop over to the other story.

_Disclaimer: Am I Mr. Larson?_

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**I Love The Rain**

(Roger's POV)

_January 3, 1992 11:00 a.m. eastern standard time_

The day I got released from the hospital, it was pouring. I called the loft to get someone to pick me up, but only Mark was home, which was perfect. The past week had given me time to think and a plan was slowly unfolding in my head. And truthfully, the sooner it was done, the better. And Mark was the perfect guy to help me unravel it.

"Mark," I said into the phone. "I need your help. Get my guitar case and bring it to the hospital. We need to do something. But don't let anyone know where you are going!"

I waited in the lobby, until I saw Mark coming up the hall, practically dragging the black case. I smiled and slung it over my good arm. The hospital would not let me take off the sling or bandages. I had to come back in two weeks for that.

"What do we have to do?" Mark asked.

Not answering him, I led the way, and we ran outside, dodging rain drops, but getting soaked nonetheless. Mark sprinted to keep up with me, repeatedly asking me where we were going.

"You are going to get sick! You are crazy! You just got let out of the hospital and now you are running around town in the pouring rain."

"If I am so crazy, then leave!" I called back. He just rolled his eyes and continued to follow me. I stopped in front of a jewelry store and Mark seemed to know what I was doing right away. He followed me inside. The store was dark, but there were many glass cases, which were lit up. The jewelry sparkled and shone. We wiped our feet and rubbed water off of us and then walked across the fluffy red carpet. I knew exactly where I was going. I made my way to the third glass container. The rings sparkled under the clear, bright light bulbs.

"A ring?" Mark asked.

"An engagement ring," I smiled.

"Serious?" Mark laughed. "Congrats man! I am so happy for you two. When are you going to ask her?"

"I think I will wait a year. I mean she just got out of an engagement and she may still be unsure and-"

"A year?" Mark exclaimed.

"Okay, maybe a few months. I feel like I shouldn't-"

"Roger! You need to ask her soon!"

I didn't know if I could. What if she says no? "I love her and I really cannot screw this up. I need it to work and I am counting on it."

"Roger, I don't know why you doubt yourself. She loves you! If she didn't she wouldn't be back. Just ask her! We all know it is going to happen eventually!"

"Can I help you?" A short blonde haired woman came over in a red skirt suit. She had matching lipstick and blinding white teeth. For a moment, I was almost afraid to say anything about the ring. Mimi loved me, I knew that. But marriage was huge! And I was notorious for screwing up perfectly good plans. What if she didn't like the proposal? I felt myself begin to sweat at the thought of asking her. Would we be at dinner or would it be casual? I could hide it in a cupcake and then she would find it! But what if she choked on it? "If you don't have anything to get, I will have to ask you to leave," she snapped.

"I think he wants to buy an engagement ring," Mark spoke up. I could feel his eyes boring into me. "Or are you just going to forget about marrying her? Live the rest of your life wondering, what if? Or better yet, let someone else have the honor. You have already had that scare once. I would think that was a wakeup call, telling you to get moving. But apparently you didn't get the message!"

"OKAY!" I screamed. He had made his point. "Um yes, I am going to be an engagement ring. And I was in here a few months ago and saw one that was perfect."

I pointed at it and she pulled out a black velvet mat and laid the ring on it. It was a simple silver band with a modest sized diamond on it. The piece of jewelry was simple and elegant. I didn't want all the extra diamonds surrounding it. I didn't care what they represented. Past, present, future, whatever! I wanted a traditional American ring.

"Rog, that is perfect," Mark said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "She will love it."

"Are you sure that is the one you want?" the woman asked. I nodded and she smiled tightly. "This ring has an 18 carat band. The band is white gold, 3 millimeter, comfort fit setting. The setting has a 0.50 carat heart shaped diamond. It is a good cut quality. The color is F and the clarity is VVS1."

I stared at her. I felt bad, because I couldn't get Mimi the flawless diamond or the cathedral band, but this was all I could afford. "How much?"

"Two thousand forty one," she replied nonchalantly.

$2,041! Last time I was in here, it was $1,010! "Did the price go up?" I asked, sounding more desperate than I intended.

"Yes. With all the supply and demand of heart shaped diamonds, we had to raise our price."

"Can you give us one minute?" Mark requested. She nodded, looking irritated and walked away. "Is it too much? Why don't you just get a regular diamond? That would take the price down."

"This is the ring I want!" I said firmly. Mark sighed and reached into his pocket. "What are you doing?"

"I am going to spot you man," he said matter-of-factly.

"NO!" I practically yelled. "This is something I have to do by myself. Just me! I can't keep getting help up when I fall. I made a promise to myself and Mimi. I need to buy this with my own money."

"But you don't have enough!"

"Um," I whispered. I had an idea, but I wasn't sure if it was too drastic. No, I had to do it. "Wait here."

Before my best friend could protest, I ran back into the rain and down a few city blocks with my guitar case over my shoulder. I had a good amount of money from my band gigs at the Life, but not enough for the ring. And the engagement had to perfect, or Mimi might say no. So, that is why I ran all the way to Ralph's Sell & Buy. I stepped into the cramped, dusty shop, letting a small gold bell ring above the door.

"Hello?" called a young man from the back of the store. "I am coming!" His voice sounded desperate, suggesting he had not gotten a customer in a long time. He ran to the front with a box under his arm. He was about my age with shaggy brown hair and a pencil behind his ear. "What can I do you for?"

"I want to sell something to get some cash," I said quickly, walking towards the counter. He took his rightful place behind it and laughed a little.

"Aren't we all trying to get some? What do you need to pay for? Rent? Bills? Bail?"

Why was this guy so nosy? I had a small urge to deck him, but I was in too much of a hurry. I wanted to get home and see Mimi. Instead I ignored him and dropped my bag on the ground, unzipped it, and pulled out my beloved fender. So long ago I had sold it for a car, but then traded it back in. Mimi always made fun of me, saying I couldn't go through with it because I loved that guitar too much. And sadly, it was true. This was always there. Friends were there and loved ones were there, most of the time, but my guitar was always there for _me_. When I needed it, I had it and the instrument always came through. It was a part of me. So many failed and successful songs were played on those strings. So many great ideas came from long days of sitting with it on my lap. I started to turn around, thinking this was a bad idea, but then I stopped.

"I am buying an engagement ring for my girlfriend," I admitted, placing the guitar on the counter. I stroked the wood and frowned.

"That is a big sacrifice for a ring man!" He shook his head and grabbed the guitar, checking out its condition.

"She is worth it."

"Now there is a golden answer," he grinned. "Okay, this thing is in great condition, despite a few scratches and the string needs to be replaced."

"I loved this fender more than you can imagine."

"Well, since it is used, the price value drops to $300," the guy slipped on a pair of glasses and started writing something on a thin piece of paper. "But you seem pretty desperate and I know what it is like to want something so bad. I asked my girl to marry me and it took me 4 times before she said yes. And each time the ring had to be bigger."

"That is shallow."

"She has her flaws, but I still believe love is blind. I know that is corny, but so true."

I nodded and zipped up my bag, trying to figure out how I would pay for the jewelry.

"But since you are in a tight spot, I will raise the price a little. So I will give you $450 for the guitar today."

"Dude are you serious?" I blurted.

"Yeah man," he laughed. He handed me an envelope with the money. I counted it quickly and shook his hand. "Good luck with the proposal."

I ran out to the street, where it seemed to be raining harder. Proposal? Wow, I never thought of this as a proposal, which is what it was. It scared me a little. What if I ended up like that guy? I would just die if she said no the first time. I began to run faster and faster to the jeweler and practically sprinted inside. Mark had made himself comfortable, sitting on the red velvet couch in the corner.

"Mark," I gasped. "I got the money. Can we do this and get out of here?"

"What is the rush? Did you steal something?"

"We just need to go."

Mark stood up. "I said I would spot you! Why did you have to go and do that? If you think Mimi will be proud, you are wrong. This is low! This is low, even for you and- "

"MARK!" I yelled. "Calm down, I didn't steal anything? I sold some of my stuff."

Mark looked at me suspiciously and glanced around, as if he was on the lookout for cops. His eyes fell along my guitar case and he suddenly caught on. "No," he sighed. "Roger, no! You didn't! You couldn't! Your fender?"

He was just making the situation worse. I began to gather my money, pretending my guitar wasn't lying in some pawn shop. "She means too much to me. She is more important than any stupid instrument. You know that."

"But your guitar?"

I ignored him and went to go pay for the ring. The woman gave me a dirty look before cleaning the diamond and placing it in a small velvet box. I was shaking, I was so nervous. I had $50 to spare after paying, which would go to Mark for the cash I owed him and would probably never pay off. There was so much I never thought about, like the cost of the wedding, who would come, starting a family, paying bills. This was a bad idea. I was being immature and not weighing consequences!

"I am proud of you," Mark said once we were in front of the loft. "She will love all of this! And don't worry! Everything will work out I promise."

"How can you be sure? This feels so spontaneous and unplanned. I need to take her to a fancy restaurant and propose properly. It is going to have to be perfect!"

"Roger, you are a spontaneous guy! That is why she loves _you_. She doesn't want fireworks and balloons! She wants _you_ and _your_ love and _your_ protection. She loves _you_ for _your_ crazy schemes and penny plans. _You_ don't need to change or reserve anything! Just ask the question, because that is the most memorable part, when she says _yes_!"

I couldn't help but laugh as the two of us walked up to our home. I was actually going through with this and it felt good. I was going to ask her to marry me and ask her to spend the rest of her life with me!

Mark slid open the door, carrying on as if nothing happened. Mimi was sitting on the couch with the television was on, droning out the noise of the city. And at that moment in my life, she never looked better. Her legs were curled under her and she had a magazine on her lap. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, restraining the curls out of her tanned face. I could tell she was wearing some kind of eye shadow, because her lids were sparkling. The brown eyes I loved were shining and popped out a whole lot more due to the black mascara and eyeliner she had applied. I wondered how one girl could look so beautiful in just a plain white t-shirt and black yoga pants. I stepped into the room, trying to make as little noise as possible. I didn't want to disturb her and make her move, when she looked so gorgeous. But she heard me.

"ROGER!" she squealed, throwing her magazine and jumping on me. I let her wrap her legs around my torso and we kissed. "Why didn't you call me to come get you?"

"I called Mark baby, it is fine."

"But I wanted to get you!" she pouted. I placed her back on the ground and kissed her head. She walked back to the couch, reassuming her previous position and Mark nudged me in the back. I knew he wanted me to ask her, but I couldn't. It just wasn't the right time.

Erika walked out of the bedroom and grinned. "Hey Roger!" I nodded to her. I was really happy she was around for Mark. They were the perfect couple, but they just took it so damn slow. I mean, by now they should at least be living together! If they continued at the pace they were going, they were _going _to get nowhere. Then it hit me. I needed to ask Mimi and fast, because if I didn't then _we _would get nowhere. And that is the last thing I wanted. I looked at it from a spectator's point of view. We have been together for about 3 years, give or take from the times we broke up. 3 years of my life I gave to this girl! And here I am, with the ring in my pocket and the question on my mind. I just needed her to finish the job by saying yes.

I gave Mark a look that said, _"Get out of here!"_

"Well," Mark said out loud. "Erika and I are going to go for a walk!"

"In the rain?" Mimi asked.

"Yes and-"

The door burst open and Maureen, Joanne, Angel, and Collins ran in. "HI!" they all screamed at me.

"Who said you could come over?" I snapped.

"Since when has anyone been _invited_ here," Mimi giggled. "Hi guys."

"I want to go to the Life," Maureen started saying. I droned her out though. I planned to bring Mimi up to the roof. We could stand under the overhang from the small shack that housed the stairs. And it wouldn't even matter how disgusting it was, because she is all I would be looking at. I could get down on one knee and then propose. Once she said yes, I would dance in the rain with her. She loved dancing in the rain and-

"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?" Maureen screamed. I looked up and everyone was staring at me.

"Um what?"

"We are going to the Life!" the drama queen cried. "You didn't even hear our whole plan?" I rolled my eyes and went to grab my shoes. They all laughed at me attempting to put them on with my arm in a sling.

"Baby," Mimi laughed. "You guys go ahead, we'll catch up." She bent down and tied my shoes, laughing to herself.

"Hey Meems, can I ask you a question?"

"Can it wait?" she groaned. "I am so hungry and we have to catch up with them." She grabbed my good arm and dragged me all the way to the Life, eventually catching up with our friends, whom sprinted the whole way to stay dry. I kept trying to bring up the subject on the walk, but she was in her own world, talking about how much she loved rain, and how she wished it would rain year round. Even when we got inside and sat down, all she did was talk and talk and talk.

"I think I will move to Maine one day. It rains so much there! Or London, they have tons of rain."

We ordered, and I felt so defeated. She was avoiding the question. I knew she was. I stood up and went to the band pit, near the side exit. My bands' instruments were set up. I wondered how they performed without me. A few of the guys came and visited me in the hospital. The only instrument missing was my guitar. I stroked its stand. I would have to give in and use the updated one our manager bought all of us. I always refused to use it, but now I didn't have a choice. I sold it for a ring that Mimi doesn't even want! I picked up the smooth blue guitar lying there and strung in over my good shoulder. It felt weird and unused. I didn't like it at all. I sighed and then there was an echoing sigh behind me. Turning around, I saw Mimi, smiling sadly up at me.

"What is wrong? You don't seem to be yourself," she whispered.

"I am fine," I lied. "You were just chatting up a storm over there. I didn't want to interrupt you."

"Well, I am all yours now," she giggled. "Tell me, what is on your mind?"

Here? She wanted me to tell her here? She didn't know what I was going to ask her and if she did she would realize that _here_ is an inappropriate spot. I mean, we come here to eat every other day. We were here after we almost got evicted and come for every special occasion. We dance on tables here and………………… shared our first kiss here. And this is where I came to meet Benny when she went missing. And this is where we spent our first official date. I began to realize this was the perfect spot. This was our restaurant. It was a part of us. I smiled at her and dragged her out into the side alley like I did on the first Christmas we met, but this time it was raining, not snowing.

"What are you doing?" she cried. I was itching to ask her and didn't want to waste any time!

"Do you love me?"

"Roger, did you need to ask me out here?"

"Do you love me Mimi?"

She nodded. "Yes, of course I love you. Why are you acting like a crazy man?"

Then, I got down on one knee. Her hand flew to her mouth and she started to breath rapidly. Her curly hair had been reduced to straight wet locks. I took her hand in mine. I didn't feel a need to say a huge speech. I just wanted to ask her, right now, right away. There was no time to waste.

"Mimi, will you marry me?"

She started to look around. "I don't know," she cried. "I mean, I am not sure. Roger, you want to get married? How are we going to-"

"Mimi," I repeated sternly. "Will you marry me?"

She bit her lip and nodded. "Yes," she smiled. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" I pulled out the ring from the velvet black box. It slipped on her finger with ease from the rain. She looked at it, crying and laughing. She wrapped her arms around me as I picked her up and spun her around. Her hair was stuck to her cheeks from the downpour around us. Mimi placed her hands on my face and kissed me. Then, I spun around with her in my arms and she threw her head back, laughing up to the dark, raining sky.

"I am going to be Mrs. Roger Davis," she giggled.

I put her back on the ground and she began admiring her ring.

Suddenly, her face turned to stone. "How did you pay for it?"

"I saved up money and-"

"Roger," she said sternly, dragging out each letter of my name.

"I told you! I saved money and had to sell a few unwanted items. Don't worry."

"What did you sell?" she cried.

"My guitar," I mumbled.

"Huh?"

I sighed and looked down the alley and then back to her. "My guitar."

She groaned and started taking off the diamond. "Why Roger? Why did you do that?"

"Mimi, can you not do this now?" I pleaded, letting out a small laugh.

"Roger, you shouldn't have done that. Your guitar is your life and you have had it forever."

"No," I argued. "_You_ are going to be my life now. So, please put the ring back on."

"But that guitar has made you happy all these years. You cannot just get rid of it."

"Oh jeez! It is an instrument! Sure, I loved it, but if you really want to make me happy, you will put the ring back on. This, all of this, this proposal, you, our family, the marriage! That is what is going to make me happy."

"Okay," she whispered, leaning up to kiss me. "As long as you are positive."

"What kind of positive are you talking about? Cause I am both." My joke about our AIDS made her laugh and wipe unwanted tears from her eyes.

I took her free hand and led her back into the café. The two of us were soaking wet and all eyes were veered towards the exit. The second the door slammed behind us, Angel spotted the ring and cried out.

"OH MY GOD! HE PROPOSED!"

Now, the entire restaurant was staring at us. Collins started a slow clap and it soon grew into a crazy round of applause. People were cheering and yelling _congrats! _I looked down at Mimi, who was just grinning and living in the limelight. Once everything settled down, we made our way to the table to re-join our friends. All the girls gathered around my fiancé and looked at the rock, nodding in approval and squealing.

"So," Mark asked, putting his arm around me. "When's the wedding?"

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Please Please Please Review!! 


	34. A Lifetime Ago

The final chapter! I can't believe it here! This story started off as something I just wanted to do to take my mind off of Without You I Die. I only planned for it to be 10 chapters and it turned into a whole novel with twists, turns, deep plots, and beloved characters. I would like to take a moment to thank everyone who reviewed! Honestly, without you, I could never have done it! You guys kept me going. This was my first story I updated while I was in the middle of writing it as well. I usually only update finished stories, but I wanted to give this a try, and I am glad I did. And before I sign off for the final time, I want to say good luck to anyone who is taking Finals (mine are in session), anyone who is receiving nominations or awards for youth theater (I just went to the Helen Hayes' on Monday and I know a bunch of theater people do Fanfic), and of course my sport loves, who are receiving trophies and honorable mentions for the county and states at this time. I know it is a busy year for everyone! I think that wraps it up! Be sure to check out the Without You I Die Trilogy, which is what I will be updating next. Thanks again! Love to all!

_Disclaimer: I am not Jonathon Larson. I am w.o Yu i Die, just a Fanfiction writer, who is privileged to use the characters and settings of RENT._

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**A Lifetime Ago**

(Mark's POV)

_May 30, 1992 2:00 p.m. eastern standard time_

I stood at the altar, next to my best friend. I felt my heart pounding, as I waited for the music to start. Roger Davis was calm and collected. I admired him for his nonchalant attitude. Maybe it was because the two of them had been together for so long, that he wasn't nervous about the vows. Or maybe he just had his rocker attitude on. The music started and Mrs. Davis and Roger's older brother, Louis walked down the aisle, meeting his sister, Annalisa in the first pew. I gave a small smile to my parents and my older sister Cynthia, sitting a few rows back. Cynthia was sitting with her husband Samuel and their three children Sammy Jr., Rebecca, and Eve. Once the groom's mother was seated, the party entered. Collins escorted Erika, who looked stunning in her red bridesmaid gown, and next came Joanne and Maureen, walking arm in arm. Then, Angel, the maid of honor, came down the aisle alone. Her dress had a little extra sparkle on it, which we all knew she added herself. Then, after the party was at the altar, the procession stood, and the music changed, with the heavy chords of the organ reverberating off the walls. We all watched the back double doors open, as Mimi came through. She was wearing an all white gown, with a long train following her. Her curly brown hair was pulled up into a bun, with tight spiral pieces framing her face. She looked like a goddess, with her light brown skin, and her light pink cheeks. I couldn't help but grin at her. The bouquet in her hand was full of red roses that she was stroking lightly with her long nails. She made it up to the altar and grabbed Roger's hand, ready to tie the knot.

The rest of the ceremony was a blur. My only real duty, as the best man, was to hand the couple their rings. There were no speeches or readings, except for the vows, which were sweet and traditional.

"I, Roger, take you, Mimi, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love and honor you all the days of my life."

A small tear fell from Mimi's right eye. She cleared her throat and began with her vow. "I, Mimi, take you, Roger, for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, _even after _death do us part."

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife." The whole procession stood after the priest announced their matrimony. "You may kiss the bride," he added softly. And with that, Roger bent down and kissed his bride softly on the lips. "May I present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Roger Davis!"

The whole congregation began to shout and cheer, as Roger and Mimi linked arms and ran down the aisle and outside, followed by all of their loved ones. A small white car was parked in the front. Roger lifted Mimi into the passenger seat, before jumping in the driver's side and speeding off.

"I love weddings," Erika whispered in my ear. I turned around and grabbed her waist. She truly looked beautiful.

"I cannot wait for the reception, so I can get out of these heels!" Maureen groaned. "Angel and Collins just left with Roger's parents, to make sure that everything was ready."

"Let's start going now," Joanne suggested. Everyone made there way down the block to the old dance hall, which was rented out for the party. The inside, looked phenomenal. The tablecloths were red, with white flowered centerpieces. There were red and white balloons strung everywhere and some thrown out onto the wooden dance floor. Gold champagne glasses and sparkling silverware met the guests, as they found their seats.

And before everyone knew it, the music kicked up and the D.J. announced Mr. and Mrs. Roger Davis. The happy newly weds came running through the door. Roger held up their hands, as if they had just won a big boxing match. She grinned and kissed his cheek. I watched them for a good half hour, saying hello to everyone, and not letting go of one another's hand, as if they were afraid they might lose each other again. Finally, they parted, and went to say hello to more guests.

"Oh baby," Maureen squealed when Mimi finally came over. "You look stunning."

"I cannot believe you are married," giggled Erika.

The bride kissed my cheek and asked me if I was having fun. I couldn't stop looking at her. She was positively glowing. When she walked away, Joanne tapped me on the shoulder.

"Did you see the last page of their wedding program?"

I looked at the small printed words she was holding up to my face. Mr. and Mrs. Davis would like to dedicate this mass to the late Michael Longere.

"Who did this?"

"I think Roger," Joanne whispered. "Mimi still hasn't seen it."

"Wow," I gasped. "He really has changed."

"For the better," Joanne added. "He just grew up a little."

"EXCUSE ME!" a voice over the microphone boomed. We all looked toward the small stage and groaned slightly.

"No more protests," Joanne whispered, rolling her eyes. "What is she doing?"

"HI! My name is Maureen Johnson. You have probably seen me protesting the Life Café or in the back lot. Well, I promised I wouldn't protest at my best friends' wedding, even though Cyber Arts needs to be stopped and homeless people need rights too and a place to bathe. Now that we are on the subject, though, I need to point out the-"

The diva was interrupted by Roger heavily clearing his throat and giving her a dark look.

"Oh sorry," she blushed. "I just am up here, because I want to wish the new couple the best of luck. They know I love them, so I don't need to dwell on that, but I do want to thank them for everything they have ever done for me. I love you guys! But before we toast to you, I have a little story I would like to share. A few months ago, my best friend asked another friend of mine if he could sing at her wedding. He turned her down immediately, saying no! But I was wondering if maybe he would play for her now?"

With that, Maureen pulled out Roger's beloved fender. I turned to my best friend and saw his jaw drop and his cheeks go pink. Everyone cheered, knowing the importance of the instrument.

"We all felt bad Roger! We didn't want you to give up your guitar, so we got it back. Because who is Roger Davis without his old fender?"

Mimi ran over to her husband and threw her arms around his neck. He spun her quickly, causing her white dress to flow out in every direction.

"Why did you do this Meems?" Roger laughed. "How can I thank you?"

"Get up there and play at my wedding!" Mimi demanded playfully. He stuck his tongue out at her and made his way up to the small stage, while everyone cheered.

"This is a song I wrote a while back about some girl. It might be a little out of tune, but as my friends know, it always is." We all laughed as he began to strum on the tightly wound strings.

_Your eyes_

_As we said our goodbyes._

_Can't get hem out of my mind_

_And I find I can't hide_

_From you eyes_

_The ones that took me by surprise._

_The night you came into my life,_

_Where there's moonlight I see your eyes._

_How'd I let you slip away?_

_When I'm longing so to hold you_

_Now I'd die for one more day, _

'_Cause there's something I should have told you._

_Yes there's something I should have told you._

_When I looked into your eyes_

_Why does distance make us wise?_

_You were the song all along_

_And before the song dies!_

_I should tell you, I should tell you,_

_I have always loved you._

_You can see it in my eyes._

As the end of Mussetta's Waltz approached, Roger let his band take over by jumping off the stage and taking Mimi's hand. She was standing in the back, tears brimming in her eyes, and a huge smile plastered to her face. He pulled her onto the dance floor, holding her close, and swaying to the music. Everyone clapped and soon joined them. As Erika and I sauntered past the newlyweds, we heard them whispering.

"I can't believe we are married," Mimi was saying.

"I have been waiting for this day forever," Roger smiled, kissing her.

"If you were waiting so long Mr. Davis, you should have asked sooner!"

"Well, _Mrs. _Davis, you are a very intimidating girl!"

We laughed at our friends, causing everyone to gather around the newly christened Mr. and Mrs. Davis. Angel and Collins were dancing a little quicker than the beat was, but then again, they were always a little off key. Maureen and Joanne were dancing as well. I knew that they both knew it wasn't supposed to end that way with them, but life does that to you. It can throw curveballs when you aren't even looking. And of course, I was holding Erika. And what could I say from here? It seemed like yesterday I came home and found a crying Mimi. It seemed like only yesterday Roger and Erika hooked up and Mimi was carrying my son. And Angel went back to her hometown of gangs and violence. And Roger got shot by Mimi's x-fiancé. All these events seemed to blend together, but in reality, they were a lifetime ago.

"To the newlyweds!" Collins was saying, raising a glass of Stoli he had been holding since he walked in the door, to Roger and Mimi, while continuing to dance with Angel.

We all chanted, "To the newlyweds!"

Looking down at Erika, I saw my own legacy unfold before me. Now that everyone else's lives were in order, I could live mine. I no longer had to play caretaker of my friends, with exception of a few cases, but what can you do? Erika raised her thin eyebrow at me.

"What are you looking at?" She placed her left hand higher on my shoulder, causing me to blink as the light hit the diamond on her ring finger.

"You." And with that, I bent down and kissed my fiancé.

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Please review for the final time! ;) 


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